by Eva Haining
Johnny looks so at home in the fields of Mustang Ranch, happy and carefree. That’s the Johnny I fell in love with, and I’m scared that Johnny Reed, the rock star, will take over my Johnny, and the man I adore will be a distant memory.
By the time we arrive at Cardinals, I’m not in the mood to celebrate. I’m ready to drown my imminent sorrows. Kirby is busy making cocktails for a rowdy table of college-age girls in the corner, so Piper and I take up residence at the bar and wait.
“I didn’t realize the widower was a bartender.”
“He’s not. He owns the place.”
She eyes him with curiosity. “He looks so sad.”
“He’s smiling.”
“Anyone can plaster a smile on their face, Ellie. You know that better than most. Do your patients smile even when they’re dying inside?”
“Yes.”
“It’s in his eyes.” As if he knows we’re talking about him, Kirby catches our attention and gestures that he’ll be with us in a few minutes. “Were they very much in love?”
“I never met her. She was A.B.’s best friend, and according to her, they’d been together since their school days. The perfect couple by all accounts. I’m not sure anyone who suffers that kind of loss ever gets over it.”
“They don’t. Even if he finds love again, it’ll never be the same.”
“You can tell all that from his eyes?”
“Yeah. I never did get a chance to talk to him.”
“About the kids?”
“If I give you a list of websites and even some book titles, can you pass them onto him? I’ve seen what this kind of grief can do to a family, and they seem like sweet people. If a single sentence resonates with him, it could be the difference between learning to live with his loss and losing himself to the loss.”
I wrap my arms around her as we perch on the bar stools. “And this is why I love you, Pipes. You’ve got the biggest heart of anyone I know.”
“Does it still count if I’m undressing him with my eyes?”
“As long as you keep your hands to yourself.”
“How do women get anything done in this town? It’s like the Bermuda Triangle. All the hot men stumble into Kingsbury Falls and are kept here forever. To the outside the world, they disappear without a trace, but they still exist, walking the streets of this little town, being all hot and sexy.”
“Even Earl over there?” I nod toward the seventy-year-old veterinarian who tends the horses at the ranch.
“I bet he was a stud in his heyday.”
“What can I get for you ladies?” As Kirby stands across the bar, I see what Piper’s talking about. He’s smiling and jovial, but it doesn’t touch his eyes. He looks exhausted, both physically and emotionally.
“Two glasses of Prosecco for me and my friend here.” Piper won’t be taking no for an answer tonight. When Kirby comes back with our drinks, he realizes this is my first time in his establishment.
“How have you lived here all these months, and this is your first time sitting at my bar?”
“I can’t exactly come in here with Johnny at the moment, so we’ve been going elsewhere on our dates.”
“I’ll let you off with that excuse. When is he heading back out?”
“A couple of weeks. I’m sure you’ll see much more of me drowning my lonely sorrows while he’s gone.”
“I sympathize. There will always be a bar stool for the lovelorn.”
I realize my epic lack of tact. “Sorry, Kirby. I shouldn’t be complaining about not being able to see my boyfriend for a few weeks. He’ll be back, and I can go visit him on tour.”
“It’s okay. You’re allowed to miss the person you love. If you don’t, then you’re in the wrong relationship. Remember when Johnny told us all to stop hiding beer when we hang out on the ranch?”
“Yeah.”
“You need to do the same thing for me. It’s hard to see all my friends happy and in love, the couples Lottie and I used to spend our weekends with, but it’s worse seeing them trying to hide the fact that they’re in love. You better believe if I could spend one more day with Lottie, I’d shout it from the rooftops. Life is too short and unpredictable to waste time trying to be something you’re not or hiding it from those around you.”
“Hey, Kirby. We met at Mad’s party, I’m Piper.” She holds her hand out to shake, which he does with a smile.
“I remember.”
“Can I ask how many kids do you have? I saw two running around in the fields with the others.”
“Just those two, and they’re a handful. Lottie was the one who kept our family organized.”
“I’m sure you’re doing your best.”
“Yeah, but my best attempt at a Dutch braid in my daughter’s hair looks like a dog’s dinner.”
“It’s a tough one to master. Took me a good three months.”
“Maybe there’s hope for me yet.”
“Definitely.”
While they chat back and forth, I take the opportunity to pull out my phone and type a quick message to my guy.
Me: Hey, gorgeous. What are you up to tonight?
Johnny: Jax is helping me with something. I thought you were out with Piper painting the town red?
Me: If you mean sitting at the only bar in town with a glass of Prosecco I’m not enjoying and missing you, then yes, I’m living it up.
Johnny: I’m sorry you can’t enjoy a drink because of me.
Me: That’s not what I meant. I just… I don’t even want it.
Johnny: Can you pass that feeling onto me? ;)
Me: I miss you.
Johnny: You’re all mine tomorrow night. I’ve got something special planned, and it doesn’t involve a bar. Relax and have fun with your friend. You shouldn’t feel bad about enjoying a few drinks, sweetheart. I promise I’m okay with it. Just don’t drunk dial me later because I will come and take advantage of you.
Me: I’m counting on it. ;) Love you, rock star.
Johnny: Love you too. X
“Oh God. I talk to someone else for two minutes, and you’re mooning over your phone. You’ve got it bad.”
“Guilty as charged.” I lift my glass and take a sip, conscious of the fact that my Johnny is right—my reticence to enjoy a drink with my friend is directly linked to the way I feel about him. Every time we hang out with the gang at the ranch, I’m terrified and watch Johnny’s reactions like a hawk when they have a bottle of beer in hand.
“Here’s to us, bestie. I’ve had a blast with you this week, and I’m really happy that you’ve found what you were looking for here in Kingsbury Falls.”
“And here’s to many more trips and memories to be made.”
“Hear, hear!”
When I dropped Piper off at the airport, I cried my eyes out the entire drive home. I’m not sure I realized just how much I was missing her in my day-to-day life. Thankfully, Johnny has a surprise for me tonight to take my mind off saying goodbye.
I’m going to be a wreck when I have to say goodbye to him. I’ve been spoiled since the moment we met, able to see him at a moment’s notice. When he officially goes back to being part of Beyond New York, I lose that version of him, and I worry that the man who comes home a few months later won’t be the same Johnny—my Johnny.
For a change, he gave me a dress code for the evening, so I won’t be over or underdressed. I have just enough time to touch up my makeup—wiping away the mascara tears of the day—before Johnny arrives.
“Hey, sweetheart.” I love the deep rasp of his voice as he wraps his arms around me, greeting me with a kiss. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah, but where are we going?”
“Not far. First, we eat, then your surprise, and then I thought we could come back here and watch Back to the Future. We never got around to it when we were strictly friends.”
“Sounds like the perfect evening.”
“I know it’s not a night out on the town or anything, but I’m getting there. I’ll be w
ining and dining you soon enough. Maybe if you have time, you could fly out to meet me in one of the cooler cities on the tour?”
“I’d love to. I can’t imagine not seeing you for two months. I’m excited for you that you’ve come so far and are getting to go back to what you love, but I’m selfishly a little sad for me.”
“Me too. I hate the thought of leaving you. It’s all I can do not to abandon the band and stay.”
“I love you for saying that, but you wouldn’t be happy if you gave it all up. You’re in your prime and an amazing musician, and you worked your ass off for these opportunities. Once you get out there, you’ll remember why you love it so much.”
“And us?”
“We’ll figure it out. I can come to see you for a few days here and there, and before you know it, you’ll be coming home and ravishing me for days at a time to make up for lost time.”
“Let’s go eat. If I think about not being able to fall into bed with you and kiss every last inch of your body at night, I might not be able to force myself on the plane.”
I reach my hand up to caress the scruff on his jawline, memorizing the way it tickles my fingers, and run my thumb over his bottom lip. “I love you, Johnny. No matter where we are or how long we’re apart.”
“Come with me.” With my hand in his, I follow Johnny outside, and a rush of emotion wells in my chest. I know I’d follow him anywhere.
Dinner is a picnic by candlelight which is romantic in and of itself, but I’m not prepared for his surprise. Once we’ve eaten our fill and raised a glass of sparkling grape juice to toast the impending shift in our relationship, Johnny becomes noticeably quiet.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah.” He runs his fingers through his hair, making it even more sex-mussed perfect than usual. “Wait here.” He jumps to his feet and disappears through his front door, but it all makes sense when he comes back with his beloved guitar in his hand.
“I thought you’d gotten fed up with making conversation with me for a minute there.”
His crooked grin sparks fireflies to take flight inside me, fluttering through my heart, causing my pulse to quicken and a jolt of desire to shoot straight to my core.
“I was planning on taking you into the studio to hear this, but now that we’re here, I kind of want to give you a live rendition.”
“That sounds exciting. What am I getting a live version of?”
“A song I’ve been working on for a while.”
I’m giddy with excitement. “Am I going to be the first person to ever hear it?”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t judge me for going all fangirl.”
He caresses the strings with his strong, callused hand before pinning me with his ice-blue gaze. “You can fangirl this one time, but only because I wrote this for you.”
“What?” My heart hammers in my chest. “You wrote a song about me?”
“Why does that surprise you?”
“Because… I’m just me.”
“Ellie, you’re the most amazing women I’ve ever met. I’d try to put it into words like a normal conversation, but I’m much better with music, so I hope you like it.”
As he begins to play, the melody dances in the evening air, and when he starts to sing, I’m overcome with the beauty of his words and the way they caress my soul. If I could stay in one moment forever, it would be right here, right now, watching the love of my life come alive as he gives himself over to the music.
I want to commit every line to memory, the way he describes his love for me so overwhelmingly stunning. I listen intently, fighting back tears of joy as he bears his soul to the beat. I could hear him play a million times and never tire of the way his voice conveys emotion so deep and profound that it threatens to pull me under.
When he strums the last chord, I’m dumbstruck.
“Did you like it?” His shy expression tugs at my heartstrings.
“I loved it. I love you.” I hold my hand out to him. “Take me home and make love to me, Johnny.”
There’s no joking, laughing, or conversation as he takes my hand and follows me back to my place. The anticipation in the air between us is electric, crackling in the breeze, causing my pulse to quicken. Every nerve ending in my body is attuned to Johnny’s every move. The warmth of his hand in mine, the confident gait of his walk, and the scent of his cologne are invading my senses.
Johnny and I have off-the-charts chemistry, but there’s something different between us tonight. Something darker—sultry—undeniable and so tangible I can almost feel it on my fingertips.
The moment I open the front door, his lips crash down on mine, kicking the door shut behind us. His hands are everywhere at once, and I still want more. I crave his pleasure more than my next breath. Hoisting me into his arms, he strides to my bedroom, his lips still firmly on mine, his tongue making love to me, driving me to the edge of ecstasy before pulling me back.
When he lays me down on the bed, there’s an urgency in every lick and flick, yet he undresses me with slow, seductive ease. With every caress of his hand on my naked flesh, I ache for more, unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it over his shoulders. The muscles in his back are strained as he fights to maintain control. I run my hands down his back, pushing his shirt until he shrugs it off and onto the floor.
His eyes are fixed on mine, a thousand words of worship spoken with every tender touch. I unzip his fly and push his jeans and boxers over his hips, his erection springing free, betraying his attempt to take this slowly. He kicks off his jeans before stalking his way down my body, taking my jeans and underwear with him.
I can’t breathe with his ice-blue stare trained on me, a dark desire unfurling in the depth of his gaze. The moment he drops my jeans to the floor, I’m achingly aware that we’re naked in more ways than one. Tonight, Johnny has stripped me bare, our love and desire vulnerable in a way it’s never been before. Skin to skin, he lifts my ankle to his lips, pressing featherlight kisses to my flesh. It’s a delicious kind of torture—I want him hard and fast, fucking me so hard I can’t catch a breath, and yet I don’t want this moment to end.
He kisses, nips, and licks his way up my leg, pushing the other one wide, opening me up to his gaze. Tonight, he doesn’t take his eyes off mine as he unleashes a slow, torturous pleasure on my body. As he makes his way to the apex of my thighs, his ice-blue stare owns me, the intimacy of his kiss more intense than ever before.
My defenses are down, and my vulnerability is transformed by his unwavering litany of worship. He kisses my entrance with the same sensual devotion he gives my lips. I’ve never been kissed this way, and the swell of emotion that courses through every fiber of my being is held in this one soft lick. I can’t tear my gaze from his, watching in awe as he lavishes me with his kiss.
Every muscle tightens as he pushes me closer, holding me on the brink of release. I’d close my eyes, let my head drop back, and freefall, but I’m spellbound. Instead, I watch, losing myself to the dark sensation that takes over, sending me crashing over the edge.
I don’t scream or thrash, soft groans rippling through me, shredding me as I fall apart beneath his kiss. “Johnny…” His name is a plea, a sonnet, a love letter from my soul to his. He never falters, never stops, never diverts his gaze for even a second.
My orgasm washes over me, pulling me under in slow, languorous, lapping waves.
Sixteen
Johnny
She splinters beneath my tongue, shards of pleasure raining down on me as I watch her come, her eyes on me as I lick, suck, and kiss her pussy, the sweet taste of her arousal slick on my lips.
There are no screaming curses or praises to God as she finds release, and yet her soft, sultry moans are a cacophony of sound, tantalizing my senses. My cock is heavy between my legs, aching to be insider her, and as she rides out the aftershocks of her orgasm, her eyes are still fixed on mine.
I stalk the length of her body, showering her naked flesh with kisses and caresses
as I position myself at her entrance, slowly sinking inside her. “Ellie… I…” Her lips find mine, scattering any coherent thought to the wind. In this moment, there’s only us and the way our bodies come together as one. I ease in and out, teasing myself and her, never taking my eyes off her. “I love you.”
Capturing her lips in a kiss, my entire body is set ablaze with primal desire so fierce it threatens to consume me. There’s no high that can rival this moment or the way she makes me feel. I could lose myself in her forever, and it wouldn’t be enough time. Her love is a drug I never want to quit.
When I know she’s close again, I pull back, eager to gaze into her eyes as she crashes over the edge once more, this time taking me right along with her. “Look at me, sweetheart. Let me watch you come apart for me.”
“I’m close.” Her voice is a breathy whisper, sultry with a twist of the vixen I know her to be. “Come with me.” Her words are my undoing. With my eyes fixed on her, I grasp her hips to anchor her as I thrust, slow and steady, harder with each downward grind.
I hold on as long as I can, but the way her muscles tighten around the length of me is more than I can take. She feels too good, and as she lets herself lose control, I crash over the edge with her. Release rips through us, intertwining our pleasure in a glorious myriad of sounds and sensations.
“Ellie…” Her name is a hallelujah on my lips as I come so hard it’s almost painful, my gaze never faltering, too captivated by her beauty to look away as she falls apart beneath me. There’s nothing more beautiful in this world than Ellie, right here, right now, at this moment.
“I guess you liked the song?” Every muscle in my body aches in the best of ways.
