For the Fight

by Leah Ashton

  She licked her lips. She hadn’t planned it, she didn’t want to, or need to – but she did. She licked her lips, and when she saw the heat in Nate’s gaze shift to lust – and a lust that so-help-her she still remembered – she licked her lips again.

  Oh.

  She liked this.

  What had she said?

  I gave you the power to hurt me by loving you, and you fucking used that power, Nate.

  Well, the power she had right now – standing in front of him in tracksuit pants, a pink T-shirt, and no bra – it wasn’t about love. But it was power, nonetheless.

  It had taken twelve years, and it wasn’t the same, or equal. But it was enough.

  She took another step closer.

  Kissing distance, if Nate just leaned down a little, and she lifted up on her tiptoes.

  His eyes widened. “Lou? What are you doing?”

  “I want to kiss you,” she said.

  She said it with no doubt. She was thirty-three years old. She knew when a man wanted her. She definitely knew when Nate wanted her.

  “Why?” he said, “I hurt you. You’re angry with me. You didn’t even like me calling us a team, for god’s sake.”

  “You’re seriously going to try and talk me out of it?”

  His forehead crinkled. “Lou, did you hit your head today when you fell?” He groaned, his gaze still locked onto her lips. “Oh, fuck, Lou, you have no idea how badly I want to kiss you, but I don’t understand what’s going on here, I—”

  Lou halted his words with her lips.

  Chapter Eleven

  Oh my god.

  She was kissing Nate.

  At first, it was just her doing all the kissing. Lou’s lips against his, her arms reaching up to wrap behind his neck, her fingers drifting to test the texture of his now short hair.

  Verdict: Not as prickly as she’d expected. Smooth. Nice.

  Also nice was his mouth, as firm and lovely as she remembered.

  And how could she remember, after all these years? But she did. She remembered this. She knew this, as if kissing Nate had been imprinted into her. Something she could never forget, no matter how hard she tried.

  He was holding himself still, his entire body rigid. As in, his entire body, and she pressed herself close against the obvious ridge in his tracksuit bottoms, not giving a damn that she’d never in her entire life thrown herself at a man like this, because she knew he wasn’t going to push her away.

  She knew it as well as she knew his kiss.

  And wasn’t that just stupid given this was the man who had pushed himself out of her life so brutally all those years ago? The man most likely to push her away, you’d expect.

  But he wouldn’t.

  Because in this, in this kiss and whatever she decided followed – she had the power.

  She absolutely had it, and when she touched her tongue against the seam of his lips – and he opened his mouth just as she knew he would – she revelled in that power.

  His body stood motionless, his arms by his sides.

  Who knew why he was bothering when she could feel his entire being vibrating with the effort not to move? Was he giving her the chance to change her mind? To come to her senses?

  But his lips and tongue had no such concerns.

  And the touch of his mouth was everything. Hot and familiar and different, and oh so delicious. She could kiss him forever. Make up for twelve years of kisses that were now clearly inferior to what she’d had with Nate, because kissing other men had never been like this, even if until right this minute she’d refused to acknowledge it.

  Although – even now it bothered her.

  She broke the kiss – but only just. Her breath still mingled with his as she took deep breaths, trying to work out how she wanted to deal with this realisation.

  No man had been like Nate. No man had been like this.

  Not that she’d dated hundreds of men, but there’d been some. And with them, it had never felt like this. Never felt so electric, so overwhelming so … almost inevitable.

  “Lou?” Nate asked. “Are you okay?”

  She met his gaze. This close his eyes were something else, and also so familiar.

  The gaze of a man who had crushed her heart.

  And if she wasn’t careful …

  No.

  Stop.

  This wasn’t about Nate’s power, it was about hers.

  She let her body sway forward, deliberately rubbing herself against his hardness, loving how it felt against her belly.

  See that? She reminded herself. You did that.

  And god, she needed to feel powerful after today. After these past few weeks. She needed to feel powerful and strong and in control after too long finding herself weak and reactive.

  Also, she needed to feel Nate.

  All of Nate.

  She pushed herself up onto her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his mouth again, but only for a moment. This was just a quick kiss, and just because she wanted to and it felt like too long since she’d last kissed him, even though it couldn’t have been more than a minute.

  Now she spoke against his lips, her mouth brushing against his with every word as she rubbed her belly against the heavy weight of his cock.

  “Doing this with you makes me feel okay,” she said, with absolute honesty. “But please Nate, I need you to touch me.” She smiled against his lips. “Now, please.”

  And he did.

  Oh, how he did, his hands landing in unison on her hips and then sliding up to explore the shape of her waist and then down to curve around her backside.

  This didn’t surprise her as he gripped her arse and yanked her against him, she hadn’t forgotten how much he loved her butt.

  Then … he initiated a kiss. No more letting her lead. No more giving her a chance to change a mind that was never changing.

  And his kiss was just as determined as hers had been, as he rediscovered her lips, and tongue, and teeth.

  Suddenly, touching his hair was clearly insufficient, and her hands slid down his shoulders – bigger than they’d been at twenty-two – and then her nails dug down the furrow of his spine before slipping up the hem of his T-shirt.

  He followed her lead without hesitation, one hand going straight to her breasts, palming them, then rubbing his thumb over her nipple as he swallowed her sighs and gasps.

  Lou tugged at his T-shirt uselessly, too focused on his kiss and his hands on her body to be capable of removing his clothing. Nate was more effective, in a move she had no idea how he managed, her T-shirt was over her head with barely a breath between kisses.

  His hands were huge and hot against her back, making her feel small and delicate – but not fragile. Nope, everything about this made her feel strong. Strong and vital and alive.

  Nate’s lips slid their way from her own to trail to her jaw and then against her neck, and to that tickly spot beneath her ear which he clearly had not forgotten.

  She practically purred as sensations rioted about her body as he kissed and licked and breathed his hot breath on the skin of her neck, and her body melted in reaction. She rubbed herself against him, her nipples hard against a T-shirt he needed to get rid of.

  “Take off your shirt,” she said, and made herself step back as he did so, eyeing his powerful biceps and triceps as he yanked the shirt over his head – and she enjoyed that beautiful millisecond where his arms were above his head and her view was completely full of his chest: all tanned skin, and muscles mouth-wateringly defined.

  “Jesus Christ,” Lou breathed. “Just wow.”

  “Right back at you,” Nate said, his words hoarse, his hands already back on her, one hand sliding under the waist of her tracksuit pants, then her underwear, to grip her bare arse and pull her against him again. So, Lou didn’t get to run her hands across his chest the way she wanted, because now she was flush against him, naked breast to naked chest and hell, yesss, that was absolutely fine with her.

  He took her mouth again
as his other hand found its way into her pants, and then he was lifting her off the ground and her legs were around his hips and his strength and urgency, and everything about what they were doing just made her hotter, and wetter.

  As Nate discovered for himself when his fingers shoved aside her knickers to touch her right there, to slide through her wetness with an appreciative groan and then to circle around her clit in a way that made Lou gasp and jerk against him.

  Their kisses were messy and desperate now, each merging into the next, and then Nate was turning her and she was pressed against something – the wall, or the door, she had absolutely no idea but she did voice her disappointment when Nate’s clever fingers suddenly disappeared.

  “Don’t stop—”

  But he hadn’t at all, of course, and instead those clever fingers placed her on the ground for only as long as it took for them to strip her of her pants and knickers, and then she was absolutely naked – and so she spoke when he immediately went to hoist her up against the wall again.

  “Wait,” she said, her gaze on the front of his tracksuit, and her brain remembering how she’d so carefully avoided looking at his crotch only hours again and now here she was – allowed to look her fill.

  But honestly – all of today just demonstrated exactly how much things could change in a day. In hours. In minutes, in fact.

  And so, she reached for him, at first through the dual layers of his fleecy tracksuit and the cotton boxers she knew he still wore because they peeked above the low-slung waist band of his tracksuit pants. But even through those layers he was hot and heavy in her hand, big and thick and hers.

  Nate had gone absolutely still. They both stood there for infinite seconds, their chests rising and falling as they breathed heavily almost perfectly in sync – as the way Lou had slowed things down not at all diminishing how sexy and desperate this felt. How good. How powerful.

  His gaze on her as she tracked her fingers up his length and then over to his waistband was all about anticipation and need. His, but also hers. Oh, so much hers as well.

  At her touch on his belly he sucked in a groan, as if she’d set off sparks at that simplest of contact. His skin was smooth and hot beneath her own, and when she pushed her hand beneath the elastic of his waistband, it was just about the sexiest thing: her hand trapped against him, held in place as she refamiliarized herself with his cock and moved her hand in a way his breathing told her he liked. A lot.

  This almost didn’t feel real. After all this time, to be touching him so intimately. But at the same time, it couldn’t get much more real than this, could it? Standing here naked in front of this man, following exactly what her body wanted to do without overcomplicating it?

  So real. So simple. So easy.

  “Lou …” Nate said, his voice deeper than she’d ever heard it. “I’m sorry but I want so badly to be inside you right now, please …”

  Honestly, she had no clear idea what he was apologising for but she definitely knew what he wanted, so she just nodded and before she knew it she was pressed against the door again, her hands gripping at his shoulders and her legs wrapped around him. But when she thought he’d shove down his pants, he didn’t – instead he held her still, her hips tilted forward, one hand cupping her backside, the other sliding through her folds, and honing in again on her clit as he looked down between their bodies and at her core.

  “You’re so wet for me, Lou,” he said. He slid one finger inside her, and Lou just about leapt from his arms at how amazing that felt. “So wet,” he said sliding in, and out, and in, and out. “I can’t believe I’m touching you again, Lou.”

  No.

  Thinking of memories was one thing. Voicing them was not. It felt too … too …

  Oh, she had no idea, his fingers were doing amazing things and when he slid another finger in she almost exploded right there.

  But no, that wasn’t how she wanted this. This was about power and sex or – oh my god she was going to come, and she wanted him inside her because once she came this would be over.

  That idea made no sense but then neither did any of this if she thought about it for even a nanosecond. All Lou knew was that she was desperate to come with Nate, to feel him inside her right now – to be filled and stretched by him. She needed this, she needed him, and she reached for his cock through all the fabric and managed to gasp something unintelligible that clearly Nate got the gist of as then she finally saw his cock and she practically cheered in relief.

  “Please, Nate …” she managed, and then he was there, pushing against her entrance and it felt so bloody good.

  And then Nate went still. “Condom,” he said, pulling away and leaving Lou absolutely bereft.

  “I’m on the pill,” she said. “And I’m clean, I promise.”

  He nodded as he breathed hard against her shoulder. “I’m clean too. It’s been a while.”

  Why would he tell her that?

  It shouldn’t matter. It didn’t matter.

  But Lou had absolutely no time to work out if it did because then Nate was pushing inside her again and literally how damn good that was, it was everything.

  She dug her nails into his shoulders as he paused once he was fully inside her, because she couldn’t stay still. She wiggled against his hard length, needing him to move, needing him to slide in and out of her. Now.

  “Nate, please, just fuck me …”

  And he groaned into her ear at the word she knew she’d never said to him in bed before but hey – she had learnt a few things in the past twelve years – and oh, she liked saying that word to him, liked the power to tell him what to do to her, and loved the power that word had over him in how it plummeted him over the edge of any control he may have had.

  Now he was fucking her, and she loved it all: hard and fast and a bit rough and all so, so very good.

  Nate’s breath was hot at her neck, and then her jaw and then he was kissing her again and it was almost too much – trapped here against the wall and surrounded by so much of the man and what he was doing to her – what they were doing to each other.

  He murmured against her lips.

  “Touch yourself babe, come on me.”

  And so, she did, just above where they joined, and it was so wet and hot and oh my god, her orgasm hit her like a tidal wave and went on and on, radiating through every inch of her body in a glorious surge of sensation. She wrapped her arms and legs around him harder as she held on tight as he groaned and swore against her ear as he came hard and magnificently inside her.

  After, they just stood there for a while.

  And for that while, it was perfect.

  Nate and Lou, with matching shuddering breathing, basking in the afterglow of something remarkable.

  But then, as her breathing returned to normal, everything changed.

  Chapter Twelve

  One moment, Nate was the fucking king of the world. The next, he was just some dude with his tracksuit pants around his ankles.

  And it changed, just like that. One moment Lou was soft and replete and perfect in his arms, the next she had slid down his body and then darted away to gather up her clothing which she then held up in front of herself when she turned to face him.

  “You should go,” she said.

  “Why?” he asked, taking his time to pull up his tracksuit pants.

  Lou narrowed her eyes. “You know why,” she said.

  “Nope,” he said truthfully. “That was something else, Lou.”

  He shook his head, unable to fully grasp the words to describe it. Hot, obviously. But also, something more – there was so much of that which he’d remembered – the soft sounds she made when he touched her breasts, the way she unravelled when he slid his fingers inside her, the way she didn’t realise how gloriously loud she was when she came.

  But there was also so much that had been different. Her confidence in kissing him in the first place. Her assuredness in how she touched him. Her husky, sexy words in his ear.

 
Just fuck me, please.

  Fuck. Just thinking about that made him get hard again.

  “Why should you go?” Lou prompted, straightening her shoulders as if she wasn’t naked except for the bundle of clothes that barely covered her. “Hmm,” she said. “How about, you hurt me. I’m angry with you. And I don’t even like you calling us a team.”

  She was using his words from before.

  “Then why did that happen?”

  She shrugged. “Why not?”

  Then she headed for her ensuite bathroom, not bothering to obscure her rear view.

  “So that’s it?” he called after her, not understanding what was happening at all.

  She didn’t even look over her shoulder. “You got to say sorry, Nate, so you got what you wanted. I got what I wanted too. But now you really need to go.”

  Then she closed the bathroom door behind her, and Nate was left half naked in the middle of the room.

  So that was that.

  Lou had kissed him, they’d had sex, and according to her – it was that simple.

  She’d got what she needed from him.

  So maybe it was that simple. Her hands had stopped shaking when he’d held her earlier. He knew he’d just made her feel really good.

  And he had got to deliver the apology he’d known was so late to be worthless to Lou – but he’d needed to say it anyway.

  Even though, as expected, she hadn’t forgiven him. Why would she?

  And why, after all these years, would he now care that she did?

  So yeah, the sex had been out of this world.

  But Nate still walked out of Lou’s room feeling empty.

  Lou stood frozen in the middle of the opulent bathroom as she waited for the click of the door between her room and Nate’s closing.

  Finally – it did – and she let out the breath she’d been holding.

  What had just happened?

  She tried to work that out as she had the hottest shower she could handle, as she rubbed herself dry with a white fluffy towel, and then as she brushed her teeth with the tiny toothpaste and foldable brush supplied by the hotel.