Hawk's Heart: A Reverse Harem Shifter Romance (Guardian's of the Fae Realms Book 4)

by JL Madore

  “Because Brant can’t swim. He told me that the first week when Calli got rocket-launchered into the farmer’s pond. A bear’s muscle density makes him sink like a solid boulder in the water.”

  I scratch my head and track their descent in the sky. “Do you think he mentioned that to them?”

  Jaxx shrugs. “Was he conscious? Do they have a plan? Will Calli flame out completely when she hits the water? Does Hawk think he can rescue them both?”

  Damn. It’s hard to believe being separated for ten minutes turned into such a shit show.

  Hawk

  She’s doing it. I didn’t think she had the strength or control over her phoenix to get Brant out of there, but once again, she proves I should never underestimate her. With Brant clutched in her left talon, she pumps those amazing wings of fire and sends warm thermals swirling over me. It’s official—I am so fucking head-over-heels in love with her it’s ridiculous.

  When we clear the Hudson, I wonder what she’s doing. Why is she improvising? I told her to land in the Hudson.

  Does she know where and what the Hudson is?

  Oh, crap. Now what?

  I don’t know what to do to help her or figure out how to talk her down. She’s right. I haven’t taught her how to land. I should have made that a priority. With everything else that’s been happening, I lost sight of so many things. Jayne. My father. Hunter. The crimes against the fae. The treachery within my company.

  Maybe I’m not such a hotshot corporate mogul after all.

  Or maybe I can’t be when I have other, more important things occupying my mind.

  And occupying my heart.

  I can’t believe how mating these four has changed my perspective on life. I wasn’t lying when I told Jayne I’m happiest when I’m playing drinking games and hanging out with my mates. I never thought I’d be that guy, but it’s true.

  Calli, Jaxx, Brant, and Kotah are my everything.

  Kotah. My heart clenches. How can he think he’s not enough? He is everything… and more.

  I know all too well how having a cold and disapproving father can make you feel like you’re worth less than other people. I lived through that. Kotah did too. It guts me that he thinks that’s how I see him.

  I scan the forested grounds up ahead and it dawns on me where we are. She’s back in Montclair. She flew Brant home instead of crashing him into the river.

  But where will she land?

  How will she land?

  Calli

  Giant fiery crapballs… And I was doing so well too.

  I’m strong in the air today, the wind a cool comfort in my face. I feel the power of my phoenix bursting in my cells and feeding my wild side. With everything going so well, I didn’t want to drop Brant into the river with those barges and boats. That water was murky and I hated the idea of it getting into his wounds.

  I planned to take him back and drop him into the pool behind Mama and John’s house next door. Clean water. No gawky people in every direction. Doc close at hand. And a quick rescue to pull him to the pool deck and cry over him.

  Jaxx’s parents might get a few shocking moments out of it. Starting with three of their son’s mates dropping in from the sky and ending with me naked and bent over Brant, but like everyone keeps telling me.

  Naked doesn’t mean the same thing to wildlings.

  I knew the general direction of the Montclair properties and once I spot the large patch of green that makes up the nature reserve, I find the one street that protrudes into the treeline. The three houses on the end of the cul de sac are the goal. Now, I figure if I fly low and drop him, I can circle and try to land.

  I wish Hawk and I took the time to work on this.

  I stop pumping my wings and get a sense of how quickly I sink toward the ground. I’m more like a glider than a stone, which is good. My first experience was the opposite. A shout from below brings my attention to Doc and Keyla training in the back lawn of their house.

  I try not to get distracted.

  Crashing and culverting a field is one thing. Taking out my sister-in-law and smushing my husband into the ground at the same time is quite another.

  The good news is, Doc’s there and he’ll get Brant. Maybe? I know they can’t swim but can they do nine feet of water? Gawd… we need to learn more about one another.

  With a tilt of my wings, I swoop lower and focus on the twenty-eight-foot rectangle. I come in from the long end like a plane on a runway and drop him as gently as I can as close as I can. The splash is enormous and it scares me that it’ll be too much for him. I push my wings back, causing resistance to forward motion, and turn to see that he’s all right.

  The last thing I see is John and Mama running across their lawn and diving into the pool.

  Hawk shrieks beside me and I turn to face where I’m going just as my talon catches on the roof of our shed. The sudden contact tips me forward and I faceplant into the dirt, flipping face over tail-feathers as my wings slap helplessly on the ground and the world spins in a violent series of somersaults.

  When I stop, I close my eyes and groan.

  Thanking my phoenix for all her help, I release my wildling side and flame out.

  “Fuck, Calli.” Hawk grabs a chunk of turf off my face and pitches it. “Are you okay? That landing was brutal.”

  “Seriously, that was an improvement.”

  He bursts out laughing. “You’re shitting me, right?”

  I wince as my bones knit back together and my lungs refill with oxygen. “Not even a little bit. I’m way less broken than usual.”

  “Okay, then shit yeah, we need to work on your landings.” When I raise my hand, he clasps my wrist and helps me sit. “Because that was bad. Watching where you’re going will be our first lesson.”

  “Help me get to Brant.”

  Hawk pulls me to my feet and wraps an arm around my hip. “How are you, really?”

  “Shaky, but hey, we’re not dead.”

  “I hate that that’s our high bar.”

  Keyla races over looking frantic. “Where’s Kotah?”

  “They got out of the building,” Hawk says. “Text them and tell them we’re here.”

  “Where’s Brant,” I ask, searching the back yards.

  “John and Doc took him onto your deck for some privacy. Doc says you’ll have to heal him.”

  I figured that. “Thanks.”

  Hawk keeps us moving. He helps me up the deck steps and over to the grapevine and latticed area by the hot tub.

  “Are you guys all right?” Doc asks.

  I nod. “Jaxx got shot in the shoulder but he didn’t slow down, so I don’t think it’s bad. You might want to be ready for him though.”

  He nods and places a solid hand on Brant. “I leave you in good hands, buddy. I’ll check on you in a few.”

  To my relief, Brant isn’t as dead as I feared. He’s still shot and bleeding, but his eyes are open and he’s breathing.

  It doesn’t take much to make me cry.

  I’m tired and weary. I look at him, hurt and bleeding, and imagine not being able to help him. I think about Kotah’s brush with death because someone poisoned him. I think about the look in Hawk’s face when our wolf kissed me and Brant goodbye but not him. So many things have hurt my heart the past few days the tears come freely.

  As they do, Brant pulls me onto his chest and holds me tight. Connected from head to toe, him bloody and gross and wet and me naked and still hot to the touch, we lay there while I find my center again.

  We all made it out.

  After a long while, his hand runs a slow circuit from my shoulder to my ass and then back again. My ear is pressed to his chest and I listen to his pulse and breathing as they get stronger.

  Thank goodness.

  “I am so blessed to have the magical miracle cure.”

  He chuckles beneath me and pushes up with his hips. “I have a magical cure for what ails me too. It’s long and hard and needs a little help in gaining freedom.”
/>
  I lift my head and blink at him. “Seriously? Right here? You were half dead ten minutes ago.”

  “Never know, I still might be. You better take my temperature. Help me get my thermometer out.”

  Hawk kneels and unbuckles his belt. “And you said I sexed you enough for a lifetime.”

  Brant flashes him one helluva hot look and lifts his hips off the wood of the deck. “Oh, I stand by that. I’d just like some of Calli’s other magical fluids. You know… to ensure a full recovery.”

  “To be thorough, you mean.”

  Brant nods. “Exactly.”

  I’m about to suggest we move this inside when Brant shifts his thigh to open my legs and pushes me down his body. His cock pushes inside an inch or two and my breath leaves me in a rush.

  He gives me a moment, playing at my entrance before he impales me fully.

  “I can’t help it, beautiful. Every time the world threatens to take you from me, my wildling side gets possessive.”

  “And horny,” I add.

  His chuckle bounces me on his chest. “Yeah, that too.”

  Giving in to the mating madness, I drop my face and absorb the glory of his size stretching me wide. “Hawk, you better warn the neighbors not to swing by to check on the patient. Doc said he was coming back.”

  “Consider it done.”

  Jaxx

  By the time Lukas pulls into the driveway, my jaguar is snarling and raging wild. Hawk had no idea they would be ambushed after Kotah and I took the tube ride but it doesn’t matter. My mates faced danger and death without us. From what Keyla told Kotah, Brant was in rough shape when my parents pulled him from the pool.

  “Jaxx.” My father pulls the door of the truck open the moment the wheels are stopped. “Are you all right, son?”

  “Fine, Daddy.” I jump out and kiss Mama’s cheek when she moves in to check beneath the sling Kotah rigged up for me. “It’ll be fine. Forgive me. I need to get to them. I love you both.”

  “We love you, too, baby boy,” Mama says. “Go. Be with your mates. I believe they’re out back on the deck.”

  She doesn’t have to tell me twice. Kotah’s already through the door and heading through the house. The mating scent coming off his skin is strong and I know from personal experience what the kid is going through.

  Fearing for the life of your mate stirs up a carnal need that must be sated at the earliest opportunity. The idea sets my jaguar on another tack completely.

  I follow Kotah because his nose has never steered us wrong. And yep, Mama’s right. They are, indeed, on the back deck. Calli’s riding Brant slow and deep and it looks like the only death Brant is approaching is the ‘little death’ of orgasm.

  Nice.

  Hawk sees us and launches out of the lounge chair where he’s sitting to enjoy the show. As quickly as he moves toward us, Kotah diverts to get around him. It doesn’t fly. Hawk blocks our passage. “Are you two alright?”

  “Fine.” I step in close and palm his cheek. Bringing our lips together, I show him how relieved I am that he’s not dead. When I ease back, both of us are a little breathless. “Glad to see everyone is well here too. I think I’ll join the fun.”

  He nods. “I wanted to wait for you two. Kotah and I need to iron out a few things.”

  “No. We don’t.” Kotah tries to push past us and Hawk grabs his wrist and locks a hold on him.

  “Enough, Wolf. I’ve been in the dog house for two days and I get to have a say. You ripped me one and dropped to the ground before I got my chance to speak.”

  “Actions speak louder than words.” He says, pulling at his wrist. “I’ve had a rough two days too. Maybe you should steer clear of me for a bit.”

  I suddenly want to be anywhere but in the middle of this. “Y’all need a moment. I’ll go spend some time with Calli and Brant. Take the house for as long as y’all need it.”

  “We don’t need the house,” Kotah snaps.

  “The hell we don’t.” Hawk gives me another quick kiss and a private smile. “Enjoy. And yes, we need some privacy to have this out. Thanks.”

  I take that as my cue and get outta dodge. Whatever is going wrong between Hawk and Kotah is about to come to blows and I, for one would rather be a lover than a fighter.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Kotah

  Jaxx closes the glass door leading to the back deck and my wolf snarls inside me. My adrenaline spikes and my control on my wolf slips. I don’t want to be here. I feel trapped.

  “Kotah, what the hell?”

  I shake my head to focus and smell Hawk’s blood. He’s clutching his arm above his wrist, scarlet liquid seeping up between his fingers. I glance down to my hand and am surprised to see my claws extended.

  “You need to give me space, Hawk. I’m not in control of my wolf right now and you trapping me isn’t helping.”

  “Then let’s fix this. Give me the chance to make things right with you. We need to smooth this out.”

  My wolf is raging inside me and I want to flip forms but I can’t trust what my wilder side might do. “Forget it. Just let me go, Hawk. There’s nothing to smooth out. I’m fine.”

  “No. You’re not. You think you’ve got things all figured out but you’re so off base it’s killing us both.” He rips a strip off the curtain and wraps his arm. “I don’t care if I end up with my throat torn out. You will hear me out.”

  I lower my head and narrow my gaze. “Don’t tempt me.”

  “Don’t make me push my alpha status on you. I want us to come at this on a level playing field.”

  I chuff. “That’s a joke. You’re an autocratic bully that always gets what he wants. You love pushing your alpha.”

  “Okay, let’s start there. If I’m such a fucking bully, do you think I’ll give up before I have my say? No. Good. That’s the first thing you’ve gotten right in days. If you’re stirring for a fight, we can—”

  My left hook connects with his cheek and his head snaps back. Blood sprays the air and the scent makes my wolf even wilder. Hawk staggers back and hits the back edge of the sofa.

  The only good part is that he’s out of my way.

  I take my freedom to move out into the hall and up the stairs two at a time. My emotions are high and I won’t allow him to coax me into doing something the others won’t forgive. Mating three out of four isn’t horrible.

  I can live with that.

  “Kotah, stop.” Hawk bolts up the stairs after me, cursing all the way. “Hit me if it makes your wolf feel better, but it doesn’t change anything on my side.”

  “Big surprise. Nothing I do ever changes things on your side. Message received loud and clear.”

  I head into the master bedroom. I’m covered in blood and smell like gun powder from the battle at Hawk’s office. My senses are overloading and it’s not helping my control.

  My clothes hit the floor with a flop and I head into the bathroom. If he won’t leave me alone, I’ll do my thing until he gets the picture. It works. By the time I finish taking a piss, I’m alone in the bathroom. I turn on the shower and step under the heat of the spray to wash my day off.

  The spray feels good but I’m overly exposed being naked when Hawk and I are both so keyed up. I make it quick. Once the smell of death is off my skin, I slick my hair back and step onto the puffy floor mat.

  The air-conditioning against my heated skin is uncomfortable, but the least of my concerns. I wring out my hair and wrap the towel around my hips. When I get back into the master, I frown.

  “Why are you still here?”

  He drops to one knee and holds a black velvet box. “You said actions speak louder than words. So, how’s this for you? I ordered these a month ago and had them engraved last week. I was planning a big romantic group ask, but fuck that now.”

  “And this is supposed to mean something to me?”

  “It could if you let me in.”

  I look at the closed door and gauge my chances of getting over there and out before he tries
to stop me. “I tried to let you in. I left that door so wide open for so long it nearly killed me. No more. I know who I am and I’m not them. I get it.”

  “No, Kotah, you don’t get it.” His voice booms and rattles the windows. “I love you.”

  I stare at him, numb. “I get this is you doing your corporate push to try to close a deal but that’s low. You don’t get to say those words to me. My heart is off the table. The offer is rescinded.”

  “That’s your animal talking. We both know he doesn’t like me much at the moment.”

  “And who’s fault is that?”

  “Mine—no question—I’m not denying that. Look,” Hawk gets up from kneeling before me and clenches the ring box tight in his fist. “I know you think me telling you I love you is lip service, but it’s not. I fucking love you.”

  “Those are just words.”

  “No, they aren’t,” he snaps, his eyes glassy and threatening to brim. “I haven’t spoken those words to anyone since the day my mother died. I wasn’t ready. I’m telling you now because you need to hear it and I need to get over myself and say it.”

  Seeing tears pooling in those steel-grey eyes tweaks my empathy and I sigh. Fuck me. My skin erupts into a wash of goosebumps. “And you haven’t said it to them?”

  He takes a step closer and offers his empty hand. “Feel the truth of what I’m saying. Please, don’t shut me out.”

  “Like you shut me out?”

  He swipes at his cheek with his curtain-wrapped wrist and leaves a smear of blood on his cheek. “Never again,” he whispers. “I swear, I’ll make it right between us but you have to give me room to fuck up… because I will.”

  I have no doubt he will.

  Against my wolf’s instincts, I accept his proffered hand and tap into the maelstrom of his emotions. Yeah, he’s a mess. But he’s genuinely aching for me to love him back.

  “The reason I hesitated mating you isn’t because you’re not enough. It’s because you’re far more than I deserve. I’m cynical and twisted and you’re perfect. I knew I would ruin things with you and that’s exactly what I did.”

  I open my mouth to argue but he shakes his head. “Let me finish. Please, Wolf. Let me get this out.”