Custom Love

by Chantal Fernando

  * * *

  Crow and Temper are out the front of the clubhouse when we arrive, standing around their motorcycles and having a conversation. “You’re not going to stay in the car, are you?” Trade asks, turning to me with his fingers on the handle.

  I shake my head.

  “I thought as much,” he mutters, opening the door and getting out. I do the same, following behind him, practically jogging as he approaches his friend and brother.

  “Where is he?” Trade demands, getting straight to the point. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”

  My jaw drops. “You just said you wouldn’t do that!”

  Crow comes over to me, while Temper lowers his head and quietly tries to talk some sense into his brother. At least that’s what I hope he’s doing. For all I know he’s amping him up and telling him they will dispose of the body together.

  “We won’t let him do anything he will regret,” Crow promises. “Okay? You brought him here, he’s safe. He’s with his brothers. We got him.”

  I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. Those words make me feel better. I can trust that they will handle the situation, in their own way, and most likely better than I could. “Okay.”

  Trade looks over at me. “Stay with Crow, all right? This is something I need to do on my own. I don’t want you to see me like this.”

  Temper nods from behind him, silently asking for me to trust him, to trust them both.

  I agree, and the two of them head inside. I turn to Crow, wrapping my arms around myself. “What now?”

  “Come on, let’s go inside, away from the gym. The women are all either here or on their way here.”

  “They are?”

  “Yeah, if there’s something big going on, we always come together. It’s safer that way,” he explains. “Bronte is on her way now.”

  I love that they all support each other like that, and I’m happy they are here.

  Sure enough, I see Abbie and Izzy the second I walk past the kitchen. The two of them are sitting at the table, coffee in hand, talking among themselves.

  As soon as they see me, they both stand and come over to give me a hug. I have a hard time looking at Izzy. She doesn’t know the truth yet, none of them here do.

  “Glad you’re here,” Izzy says. We all grab a drink and sit down.

  Bronte arrives next, until one by one all of the MC women and men are under one roof. I don’t know what’s happening with the men. Crow conveniently went missing the second Abbie embraced me, and I can only imagine what is happening on their end right now.

  “Ladies, we’re all here so we can be together right now, while shit is hitting the fan. I have no fucking idea what our men are going to do about the Chains situation,” Abbie says to us all. “I have food and drinks, so make yourself at home.”

  Bronte looks at me, and I realize that I haven’t even been able to tell her the truth of it all.

  “Abbie, if you don’t mind, I have something to say.” I turn to Izzy and hesitate. “Izzy, this is going to be especially hard for you. I am so sorry. And Bronte, I would have told you, but it all just happened and I haven’t had the time.”

  Bronte’s brow furrows. “What is it?”

  All eyes are suddenly on me. “You guys might not know that I was looking into Ariel’s death, because some of the story wasn’t adding up. And I have just found the proof that it wasn’t Damon who killed Ariel. It was Chains.”

  A collective gasp fills the room.

  “I’m so sorry, Izzy. But Trade knows the truth—that’s why he stormed over here. I don’t know what he’s doing to Chains right now.”

  But apparently I’m here for it, sipping a soda in the kitchen while it all happens.

  Izzy starts crying, and I feel like absolute shit for being the one bringing this all back up for everyone, but at least the truth is all out now.

  And that’s all of it. There’s nothing more to come as far as I know.

  Bronte sits right next to me and lets me know that I’m not alone in this room of strong women, and I appreciate that.

  Izzy comes over and hugs me, and thanks me for finding out the truth of what happened to her sister, and I appreciate that even more.

  “I trusted him,” she whispers. “It hurts, you know? My sister didn’t deserve that. She’d never hurt anyone. She always saw the best in people. She actually was one of the only people who liked Chains. Genuinely liked him.”

  I nod. “You should have seen Trade’s face. I don’t think I’ll ever forget his expression.”

  “They say that the good always die young,” she says to herself. “I just wish they didn’t have to take her.”

  “She lives on in Mila,” I say, smiling sadly. “And you. And Trade. And the rest of the kids.”

  Izzy nods. “That she does. I meant what I said—she always liked you, and I know right now she’s smiling down on us. Especially now that we know the truth. And we owe that to you.”

  I look down at my hands, feeling choked up again. “Thank you.”

  Then I get a little teary-eyed, and we both cry together.

  Even if it hurts sometimes, Ariel is always with us.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Temper steps into the living room, and all of us turn to look at him.

  “Where’s Trade?” I quickly ask.

  “He’s a mess, but Chains is alive. They are all in the gym; Chains can’t go anywhere.”

  Trade steps in behind Temper, and he is a mess. His knuckles are busted, and there’s blood on his hands. “Are you okay?” I ask, rushing over to him and touching his face.

  He closes his eyes and just feels the soothing touch of my fingers. In this moment it feels like it’s just the two of us. I silently let him know that I’m here for him. And I press a kiss against his cheek.

  He then opens his eyes and nods. “I’m fine. And I won’t be going to prison, so don’t worry. He’s alive.”

  “That’s good to know.”

  “Come with me, there’s something I need you to hear,” he says, leading me toward their gym. Crow is at the door with Saint and Renny, and they all nod at me as I pass them.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  When I step inside, I see Chains sitting there on the ground, back against the wall. His face is all swollen up, and he looks broken inside and out. Aries, Diesel and Atlas surround him.

  “Tell Nadia what you just told all of us,” Trade demands.

  Chains lifts his face and looks right at me, with his lifeless brown eyes. I almost feel bad for him, but then I remember what he’s done.

  “I killed Ariel,” he murmurs.

  “I know,” I reply.

  “What else?” Trade presses.

  “After I killed her, I drove to Damon’s house. I needed him to help me; I didn’t know what to do. He was selling drugs for me, so I knew he would do whatever I asked,” he admits, ducking his face. “I didn’t want to kill her, but she saw me, and no matter what she said I knew she was going to tell Temper. I didn’t think, it wasn’t planned. It just happened.”

  There’s no emotion in his tone.

  He might say he didn’t mean to, but I don’t think he lost any sleep over it either. He clearly kept her phone as some kind of trophy—why else would he keep it charged and right next to his bed?

  “What did Damon do?” I ask, needing to know.

  “He told me to drive it into the lake. He helped me try to set it up so it looked like she just maybe went off-road and into the water.”

  So Damon was involved in Ariel’s death. He may not have killed her, but he knew who did. That explains why he wanted me to walk away from the case.

  “He never snitched on you.”

  “I know,” Chains says, with his eyes still closed. “I told him if he did, I would kill his mom and Taylor.�
� He starts to cough.

  Taylor. I forgot about her. “Taylor loved you. How did you get involved with her?”

  “When Damon took the fall for me, I told him I’d look out for both of them. I would give money to his mother. For a while I just looked out for Taylor, but she caught me watching her a few times, so we started to date.”

  I have so many questions, I don’t know where to start. “Did you kill her?”

  He takes a deep breath. “After you came around, she started asking questions. She just knew too much. And after you questioned her, she tried to use that against me. I don’t know who the fuck she thought she was trying to blackmail. I threw the rock at your window, Nadia, hoping you would back off and just leave things how they were. I wish you had. Taylor was unfortunate, but she should have known her place.” Chains opens his eyes and for a very brief moment, I see regret.

  “Why did you go down this path? Give up your life?” I ask with genuine curiosity. Betraying his brothers, killing innocent people.

  Chains lets out a fake laugh. “What life? I have nothing. Yeah, I’m a member of the MC, but what else do I have?”

  I really don’t know Chains that well, but I almost feel sorry for him. Almost being the key word. “Will you tell the police this?” I glance over to Trade, gauging his reaction.

  Chains looks to Temper, who is standing by the door, before giving a slight nod.

  I need this confession on tape, just to prove... I don’t quite know. Nobody is innocent in this. But Ariel deserves for everyone to know the truth.

  As if reading my mind, Temper says, “We recorded him admitting to all of this. Before Trade beat the shit out of him.”

  I nod and walk toward Temper with Trade following me. “What’s going to happen to him?” I ask quietly.

  “Call your cop,” Temper says. “Tell him about his confession, and that he can come here now.”

  Feeling surprised that the MC is just going to hand Chains over to the police, and that they trust them, I say, “Are you guys all friends with cops now?”

  “It was necessary in this case. And Trade says you trust him.”

  “I do.”

  “Then let’s get it done,” Temper says before turning to leave.

  We leave the gym and head into the living room. Trade pulls me against his body. “If it wasn’t for you and my kids, I’d be committing a heinous crime right now.”

  “I know. I’m happy that you didn’t. We need you.”

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” I reply, bringing his knuckles to my lips and kissing them.

  “You said you needed time to think,” he admits, expression blank.

  “I’m here for you, aren’t I?”

  “Yes, you are.”

  I kiss his cheek. “I can’t wait until all of this is over and done with. I feel so drained.”

  “Me too.”

  * * *

  “I have to go and pick up the kids,” I tell everyone when I get back to the kitchen.

  “I’ll come with you,” Izzy says, standing up and grabbing her keys and bag from the table. “I have Mila’s car seat, too.”

  “Perfect. Especially considering I’ve never actually done a school pickup before,” I admit.

  Izzy laughs weakly. “Better get used to it then. I’ll show you the ropes.”

  We both get in her car and I call Decker on the way.

  “Remember you said you trust me and my instincts?” I say when he answers.

  “Yeah...”

  “Head to the Knights of Fury MC clubhouse. I’m sure you know where it is. One of the members is going to confess to the murder of Ariel and Taylor. He’ll also detail Damon’s involvement.”

  “And the MC is fine with this? With the cops coming to them?” he asks, and I can hear in his voice he’s trying to catch up with everything I just told him.

  “Yeah, they’re waiting for you.”

  “Nadia, you are...a force. I’ll let you know what happens.”

  We get to the school, and Izzy shows me where all of the kids’ classes are, and where she waits for them at Mila’s class.

  “Watch out for the school moms, they are a whole different breed,” she says under her breath, and women walk by us, giving us odd looks. Maybe they know that we are dating bikers?

  “Who knew?”

  “They’re great kids, aren’t they? So resilient. They’ve all been through so much, but they are still kind and respectful and don’t give us too much of a hard time. Even Alia, who can be a little diva.”

  “They are amazing kids,” I agree, looking at Mila’s classroom, waiting for her to appear. “I was so nervous at the start, because I haven’t spent much time with any kids except Quinn, but they make it easy.”

  We greet Alia, AJ and India outside Mila’s class. Mila runs out, pink bag on her back, smiling widely when she sees me. Instead of running to Izzy, she comes straight to me and jumps in my arms.

  “Nadia! You’re here at my school!” she says excitedly.

  “Yes, I am. How was your day?” I ask.

  “Good.”

  I look over and see Izzy watching us, emotion in her eyes. “Do I get a hello, Mila? Or is Auntie Izzy forgotten about now?”

  Mila giggles and reaches her arms out to Izzy. “Hi, Auntie Izzy!”

  “Hello, beautiful girl.”

  India and AJ each give me a hug next, while Alia stands back, but she smiles when I look at her. “Where’s Dad?” she asks.

  “At work,” Izzy lies. “We are all having dinner at your house.”

  The kids all cheer.

  The fearsome foursome. I love watching all four of them together. India plays her role of big sister as she looks in each of their backpacks, making sure they have everything. Alia bends to tie AJ’s shoe, giggling and looking up at him as he says something.

  I get a text message from Decker after we get to Trade’s house.

  Picked up Chains. They played me the recording, and Chains said it was true.

  What are you going to do about Damon? I type back.

  Let the truth come out, and let the lawyers battle it out.

  I believe Chains when he said Damon helped him. Whether he was forced to help him doesn’t matter. He should’ve told me the truth.

  And Chains. He deserves all of this and more. Who knows what else he has done that we don’t know about? He’s obviously capable of so much evil, and so much deception. I will never understand how he could go to work every day and look Trade in the eye, and pretend to be his friend.

  He is the worst kind of human.

  When Trade comes home, we toast to Ariel. “May she be at peace, looking over at us and smiling,” Trade says, and we clink glasses.

  When we’re in bed, Trade holds me so tight, like he’s scared I’m going to disappear.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I tell him, even though I know that’s not a promise I can make.

  It’s not a promise anyone can make, but I sure as hell am going to try.

  Right here is where I want to be.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Trade wakes me up with his mouth between my legs, and we have slow, sensual morning sex to start the day.

  We then have a long-overdue talk.

  “You were right. This whole time you were right. Damon may not be innocent, but he didn’t kill Ariel. I’m so sorry I was against this at the start, and I’m so fucking happy you pressed this. Now we know who actually murdered Ariel and can get the justice she deserves.”

  “It was hard for you.” I shrug. “For everyone. I get that.”

  “And what about us?” Trade presses. “You had us on pause before this whole thing blew up. How do you feel now? Do you still need more time to think about it?”

  “I know that I want to be with y
ou,” I assure him. “I think we just need to take it slow, and talk to each other more about how we’re feeling, especially me. I hide so much because I don’t want you to think that I’m being petty or insecure, when I should just tell you. If I can’t open up to the man I love, then who can I open up to, right?”

  “You can tell me anything. There is no judgement. I love you. You don’t have to compete with a ghost,” he says. “And I’ll do anything to be with you. How can I prove that to you?”

  I realize he can’t change his history, and I have to either accept him with it or let him go. It’s not fair to him otherwise, or to me either.

  “Just love me, always.”

  “That’s a given,” he says, smiling.

  “And never call me by another woman’s name,” I add, arching my brow. “If you want to live.”

  He laughs, and rolls me under him. “Fair enough. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  * * *

  The next morning, with my back pressed against the wall, Trade slides inside of me, kissing me deeply. When I walked out of the shower, dropped my towel in front of him and did a sexy little naked dance, he picked me up and pinned me to the wall, and I was laughing until those laughs turned into moans.

  And now I’m on the verge of an orgasm, but the asshole keeps stopping before I can get there, purposely dragging it out.

  I score my nails down his back. “Trade—”

  “Mmmmm.”

  “I’m going to kill you.”

  He laughs into my neck, pulls back and cups my face. “I fucking love you.”

  “Good.”

  “Good?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Tell me you love me.”

  His strokes get harder and faster, and I moan loudly, pushing back against him. “I love you.”

  “Good girl,” he murmurs, reaching between us to touch me, instantly sending me over the edge and into oblivion.

  He finishes a few strokes after me, and then carries me to the bed, still inside of me, and lays me under him. I stroke his hair while we gather our breath, mainly him from holding me up and doing all the work. I can feel his heart race, and then slowly even out.