I gasped for a breath and I smiled.
I thought about Abby.
When she showed up and threw up in my driveway.
Trying to hide her feelings for me.
And here I was, throwing up on my own floor because I was hiding my feelings for her.
That’s when I knew something needed to happen… once and for all.
20
ABBY
I walked out of my bedroom to find Valerie bent over, her hands under her feet, topless, but thankfully she was wearing underwear. Not panties. These were undies. They looked like shorts, which was good. The more they covered, the better.
She wavered back and forth as her boobs hung up into her face.
Good morning to me…
I walked to the kitchen to get coffee.
“I’ll be done in a second,” Valerie said. “Just two more breaths to stretch it all out.”
“Take your time,” I said.
I poured some coffee and Valerie lifted herself up.
She turned to face me and put her hands to her hips.
Still topless.
“Can I ask…”
I pointed to her chest.
“What?” She looked down. “Oh? You mean… half naked doing yoga?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Just as a general thing. Just curious.”
“I read about it online,” Valerie said. “I love it. I’m hoping to lose my bottoms soon enough.”
“Great,” I said.
“Does it bother you?”
“No,” I said. “Not at all. Just as long as you don’t mind me…”
“Hey, it’s just natural,” Valerie said. “You have the same parts as me, right?”
“That’s true,” I said.
Valerie walked into the kitchen.
Her boobs just hobbled around, free as could be.
I slipped out of the kitchen. “I’m going to go take this to my room. I have a headache.”
“Too much drinking last night?” Valerie asked.
“Something like that,” I said.
Too much emotion.
I spent the night pacing my room. Running through everything that happened with Reed. Then I finally called Toby and told him I was done with the band. He pleaded with me not to do that. He offered me more money. I told him I didn’t even take the check Reed gave to me.
Bottom line - being near Reed was toxic.
I never hated someone the way I hated him.
Yet in the same breath, I was never so attracted to someone the way I was to him.
And that attraction left my body feeling weak. The weakness was only me wanting to feel him. And feeling him meant feeling love for him.
To me there was no way I could both hate and love someone at the same time.
It didn’t make sense.
We were better off distanced.
And the distance was easy to get.
He was rich and famous.
He could stay in his part of the town.
I could stay in mine.
We’d never have to see each other again.
It would…
My phone screen lit up on my nightstand.
It was a text from Jess.
Work. I’m coming to get you.
I rolled my eyes.
Work.
Another day of dressing up and singing.
But at least I was doing it my way.
I was surviving on my own.
And… you know what… fuck Reed and FILTHY LINE.
Maybe I could slip Toby a call, text or demo of me and the girls singing.
The four of us could really kick some ass.
I drank my coffee and took a hot shower.
Jess texted me ten more times, pissed that I was taking my time.
She refused to come inside because she didn’t like Valerie.
Not that I could blame Jess since Valerie was walking about topless.
Once I was dressed, I hurried out of the apartment and Jess sat in her car, smoking a cigarette.
She beeped the horn at me.
I waved my middle fingers at her.
Everything was normal.
“Tell me why I can’t drive,” I said as I got into the car.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “We can talk.”
“Talk?”
“Just shut up, Abby,” Jess said.
She flicked her cigarette out the window and backed up.
She drove fast like she always did.
“How’s life?” Jess asked.
“Don’t ask,” I said.
“That good?”
“How’s your life?”
“Same as always. Sasha was up my ass about trying new things. She has an idea to do a full show for birthday parties.”
“A show?”
“Yeah,” Jess said. “Costumes. Characters. Like a fucking play.”
“I’m not an actress,” I said.
“I think she gets ahead of herself,” Jess said. “She’s good at that stuff though. She should run a company or something.”
“Or the four of us could get into a studio and become famous.”
“How are you going to pull that off?”
“I have contacts,” I said with a grin.
Jess laughed. “Right. Contacts.”
“I…” I looked around. “Where are we going?”
“For a ride.”
“Where?”
“Nowhere,” she said.
“Jess…” I sighed. “You said there was work.”
“There’s no sign of Sasha or Rae. And why wouldn’t you drive? You’re so easy to set up.”
“Set up? What the hell does that mean?”
Jess grinned. “You could hate me for the rest of your life.”
“What did you do, Jess?” I asked.
“I called him back,” Jess said.
“What?”
“He called me and left a message. I called back. I had to.”
“Who called you?”
Jess looked at me. “Reed.”
* * *
My heart sank. “Pull over.”
“No.”
“I’ll jump out of the car while it’s moving.”
“You’ll kill yourself.”
“And you’ll have to live with it.”
“I’m not pulling over,” Jess said. “I’m not slowing down. I’m taking you to where he said.”
“Which is where?” I yelled.
“Just up the road here.”
“In the middle of nowhere?”
Jess let off the gas and the car started to slow. “Goddammit, Abby, listen to me. I don’t know the entire story here. But you’ve shared more with me than anyone else in the world. The one thing I’ve always noticed is that when you talk about Reed, you get really happy. Your face lights up. Now maybe that’s because of what you were doing. Traveling with the band. Singing. Acting like a rock star. Whatever. But then I wondered if it was him. When you got the chance to go into the studio with the band, you were flustered. But that smile…”
“He hurt me,” I said. “He’s a piece of shit. This is the kind of friend you are? You should be driving me away from him.”
“Okay, fine. I’m the worst friend ever. But you’re going to get your ending, Abby. The way you want it. He’s on the side of the fucking road, waiting for you. I’m going to pull over a little bit up the road and wait. Do what you need to do to end this for good. So you’re not lingering on it for years. You deserve so much more than what you do with us. Believe me. And there have been chances. You’ve passed them up. And it has nothing to do with hurting Sasha’s precious feelings either. It’s because whatever really happened with Reed is still in your heart and fucking with your head.”
As Jess spoke that last line, I saw Reed up ahead.
His motorcycle on the side of the road.
Him leaning against it.
My heart started to race.
Half of my body felt giddy. The other hal
f felt anger.
I looked at Jess and I wanted to punch her.
“He called you?” I asked.
“Yeah. He said he needed to talk to you. He needed my help.”
“And you did this?”
“I consider myself your friend, Abby. I don’t want you hurting. I don’t want you to not have closure. Not with this asshole. Right?”
She smirked.
“Yeah, right,” I said.
I swallowed hard.
Jess brought the car to a stop.
I opened the door and climbed out.
She drove off up the road and did what she said she was going to do.
Which was pull over and wait for me.
I stood in the middle of the road and folded my arms.
Reed looked deadly sexy.
He was the epitome of hungover rock star but it looked so good on him.
“How many whores did you fuck last night?” I asked.
“Was going to be two at the same time,” he said.
“Fuck you, Reed,” I said.
“You asked.”
“What happened?”
Reed took his sunglasses off. “You did, honey. You happened.”
“Oh, here we go,” I said.
“No,” Reed said. “This isn’t about talking, Abby.”
Ahh-bee…
“Then, what is it?” I asked, swallowing hard again.
Reed reached into his pocket and took out a set of keys.
He tossed them to me.
I caught them.
“For the motorcycle,” he said.
“What?” I asked.
“Get on the motorcycle, honey. Ride off into the horizon. Leave my ass stranded here.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“No,” Reed said. “It’s my turn.”
“So, what, you can just call for a ride then?” I asked.
“No phone,” he said. “Want to come pat me down to check?”
“No,” I said.
“So, there you go. You leave me here. I’ll wander my way home. Maybe I’ll get lucky and some bored, lonely housewife will be cruising by in her minivan. She’ll stop and I’ll ask for a ride. Then about a mile up the road, I’ll start suckling on her full mom tits and-”
“Shut up,” I said. “You’re so full of it.”
“Do what you have to do, honey,” Reed said.
He slowly sat down on the side of the road.
I walked to the motorcycle and stared at it.
He brought the motorcycle on purpose. He knew I had no idea what I was doing here.
I climbed onto the motorcycle and couldn’t even touch the ground with both feet. I had no idea how to pick up and balance it. I had no idea how to start it. I had no idea how to ride it.
So I sort of stood and sat there, staring down the road.
My eyes filled with tears.
I climbed off the motorcycle and gripped the keys tight in my hand.
“Can’t ride it, honey?” Reed asked.
I looked down at him.
I turned and threw the keys as hard and as far as I could.
They sailed through the air and landed somewhere.
“Good luck finding those now,” I said. “Asshole.”
I started to walk away.
I smiled.
Maybe Reed would find the keys, but it wouldn’t be easy.
Either way, I was the one leaving him on the side of the road right now.
I was the one winning this time.
I was the one-
“Hey, honey?” Reed called out.
I shook my head.
“Before you leave for good, there’s one thing I always wanted to tell you,” he called out.
I paused.
I looked back. “And what’s that, Reed?”
Reed was standing again.
Staring right at me.
He smiled.
“I love you, Abby.”
* * *
I stood in place.
In silence.
Reed didn’t say anything else.
But he moved closer to me.
Step by step. Second by second.
And I wasn’t moving away.
“If I told you that this entire thing came down to me loving you… you’d probably get really pissed at me.”
“Yeah, I would,” I said.
Reed kept walking closer.
“And if I told you all I wanted right now was for you to be with me… and let me love you and only you… you’d probably think I was crazy.”
“I definitely would,” I said.
Reed was just a few feet away.
He stopped walking.
“So that’s it?” I asked. “You say that and just stop?”
“If I take one more step, honey, I’m going to kiss you,” Reed said. “And if I kiss you, I’m going to tell you I love you again. If I do that, then I’m going to put you on the back of my ride and that’s it. You’re all mine.”
I slowly turned. “That’s awfully confident, Reed. You can kiss me and tell me you love me. But I’m going to walk away. With your heart. Because… fuck you. How’s that sound?”
“You don’t mean that.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I can see it in your eyes, honey.”
“You left me on the side of the road, Reed.”
“I fucked up. I’m sorry I did that.”
“Yeah… and I’m sorry I misled you. I’m sorry I kept taking those calls. I was chasing my own dream too. I didn’t mean to fall for you. And I knew we couldn’t do anything about it back then. It wasn’t the right time.”
“But now is the right time, Abby.”
“You just want me to sing backup on your songs,” I said. “You’re worried that RAUNCHY RECKS is going to scoop me up.”
“You think I’m using you right now?”
“I just like hearing you like this.”
“I shot whiskey and snorted fun from two women last night, honey,” Reed said. “And I fell asleep thinking about you.”
“You poor thing,” I said. “So are you talking with your rock star heart or your rock star dick?”
“Can’t it be both?” Reed asked.
He took another step.
I sucked in a breath.
And that was it.
He didn’t gently touch me and go in for some romantic kiss.
He was still a rock star.
His hands grabbed my ass and he pulled me against him.
His mouth slammed down to mine with force.
My knees bent and his fingers dug into my ass to hold me.
Our tongues touched and I began to melt.
My hate for Reed switched to hate for myself, as I couldn’t help myself from wanting this. From wanting him. From needing him.
I broke the hot kiss…
“I love you too, Reed,” I said. “I loved you then. I loved you this entire time.”
“Oh, honey, I needed to hear that,” he whispered.
He moved in for another kiss and I stopped him. “Wait. There’s something else.”
“What?” Reed asked.
“I still hate you,” I said.
“Good,” he said.
“Good?”
“The hate will keep you around. The love will make you smile.”
“Reed…”
He brushed his lips to mine. “Or look at it this way… in the morning when our eyes open and flirt and we kiss each other with morning breath, sip coffee and smile… that’s loving each other. But at night, when we’re tearing each other’s clothes off and I’m fucking you so hard you can’t feel your legs… that’s the hate.”
I grabbed his shirt and curled my lip.
That sounded like a disastrous relationship to have.
But I was fucking okay with it too.
“I want to know everything about those calls, too. Okay? I’m going to handle it. I’ve got money. And I’ve got power. This is my fault, Abby. You’
re not going to suffer anymore over this. I can’t imagine losing you. Ever.”
I could have argued with him, but he was kind of right. The gambling debt was because of him. Because I was desperate to survive. He could keep the money from the recording sessions if he could make the debt go away. That was fine.
Reed kissed me again before I could tell him any of that, and I kissed him back just as hard.
I loved him with all of my heart.
But this moment and kiss was about hate… which wasn’t so bad at all.
* * *
I turned around and saw Jess was gone.
She must have seen the tongue fucking going on and assumed it was okay to leave.
Which wasn’t exactly a smart decision.
What if I decided to kiss Reed goodbye? What if I wanted him lingering with the taste of my lips, a hard dick, and no keys to escape?
“Looks like your friend bailed on you,” Reed said.
“No. She was just being a good friend. Knowing what I wanted.”
“I know what you want too, honey,” Reed said.
I slowly turned and looked at him. “Oh?”
He pulled me close again, his hard body pressing against mine.
“So, is this us, Reed? A relationship based on arguments and sex?”
“As opposed to what? You want me to take you on a picnic and do some fucking bird watching?”
We both started laughing at the same time.
I put my face to his chest and shut my eyes for a second.
This was just so…
“Fuck,” I said.
“What’s wrong?” Reed asked.
I broke away from him. I slammed my hands to his chest. “You’re an asshole.”
“What did I do now?” he asked, lifting one eyebrow.
I pointed to his motorcycle. “You brought this on purpose. You knew I wasn’t going to be able to ride away.”
“So?”
“You basically trapped me, Reed.”
“Your point?”
“I took the keys and fucking threw them.”
Reed looked to his left. “Yeah. You did.”
“I’m not digging through all that to find your keys, Reed.”
“Then I guess we’re trapped.”
“I’ll call Jess. She’ll come back. And she can take me home. You can find your own way home.”
“Oh, you’re still on that?” Reed asked. “You still want me to walk my ass home? Remember what I said… if I see a minivan… and I see a lonely housewife driving that minivan…”
A FILTHY Enemy: a filthy line novel Page 19
