Conventionally Yours (True Colors)

by Annabeth Albert

  I’d spent the last few hours alternating between elation at having kissed Alden and anger for letting myself go there. I was still convinced Alden deserved better, but at the same time I couldn’t fully regret the kiss. It had been sweet, almost painfully so, waking up tender places deep in my chest, and I wanted more, so much more. But right then, I had dudes to crush before I could let myself replay the kiss for the thousandth time.

  He studied me carefully for a long moment. Whatever he saw in my eyes must have reassured him somehow, because he nodded sharply. “Okay.”

  The early part of the game was an ass-kicking—and not by us. My initial hand had sucked, and Alden was playing very conservatively, which made it hard to keep up. Danny played like a more reckless version of Bart—more card thievery, more scroll destruction, and double the sneer while doing it. I could feel the tension rolling off Alden, and not being able to touch him to reassure him or to give too much of the plan away was killing me.

  But then finally Alden put out a valuable card—a scroll vault that could let us play bigger creatures—and Bart promptly destroyed it. But I had been waiting for this sort of move and played a mining card that gave us a life advantage while zapping them for the card’s value. Alden’s eyes went wide with recognition. Thank God. He’d finally caught on to my strategy, and from there we became a unstoppable duo, him playing his biggest cards, no holding back, and me using Bart’s blocking to hurt him and Danny until we were a turn away from victory.

  Alden cast his eyes at me, a question there about whether to go for it, and I nodded subtly, hoping like heck that I wouldn’t lead him wrong. Finally, he went in for lethal damage, and Bart tried to use a reaper to send the damage back at us, but I was there with a shield—a cheap, older card that worked surprisingly well against reapers.

  “Game.” Danny groaned. “Damn. You guys are—”

  “Cheats.” Bart’s mouth was a hard, scornful line. “You probably have some system in place.”

  “Mind meld,” I deadpanned. “Hand signals are so last year. Seriously, dude. We won fair and square. Now, give us our stuff.”

  “Whatever.” Danny all but tossed Alden’s bag at us. “We weren’t going to keep it anyway. Just having fun with you. Good job letting yourselves get suckered into that game, though.”

  “We still won.” I held the bag tightly while Alden made quick work of cleaning up our cards and counters. Adrenaline still surging, I wanted to celebrate, but not in front of these losers. Pride made my shoulders lift—pride at Alden for trusting me, and for both of us working together, and a little for myself, at having an idea that actually worked. It was a good omen heading into Vegas.

  Also, the combo of adrenaline and pride had me feeling better about the kiss. Maybe I wasn’t totally useless to Alden. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing to kiss him again. A celebratory thing. And okay, a thing I really, really wanted. The chance to be alone again couldn’t come soon enough.

  * * *

  It was too bad we were already behind schedule, because a couple of beers and a lengthy make-out session sounded like the perfect afternoon to me. But as a second choice, watching Alden enjoy himself at the deli he’d found wasn’t bad. Little smile on his face, he studied the paper menu we’d grabbed from the hostess station like a little kid deciding between ice cream flavors. Blintzes versus latkes was apparently that exciting. I’d wanted to kiss him back at the car, but he’d immediately started fiddling with the GPS, and we’d been a bit too exposed in the game-store parking lot for me to press the matter.

  “I still can’t believe we won,” he said as we waited in line for a table.

  “I can. We’re the better players.” I didn’t let on that I’d been nervous too. “Especially you. Aren’t you the one who’s always saying you’re better than our competition?”

  “Do I really act that way?” Mouth twisting, he bit the inside of his cheek. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be. You’re confident about your abilities. It’s one of the things I like about you.”

  Blinking, he made an adorable surprised squeak. “One of the things?”

  Right then, the server, a woman around our age, arrived to lead us to the table.

  “I’m not letting that drop,” he whispered as she retrieved glasses of water for us.

  “Look at your menu,” I ordered, insides far too mixed up to give him a real answer. I did like Alden, despite trying hard not to, and it wasn’t just his ability as a player that attracted me. Nor was it how he cared far more than I’d ever given him credit for. Or the fact that he was pretty cute to look at. There was something else there, something more elusive and harder to name.

  “Fine.” He gave me an incredulous look, like maybe I’d sprouted some horns. But blessedly, he let the matter drop. “I still can’t decide. If I get both, can we share? You can add a side of some meat for you if you want.”

  “Sure.” It was another blatant move to feed me on the cheap, but I was too relieved to protest too much. While we were waiting for our food, we both checked our texts. Necessary, but also another chance to avoid talking. Because if we talked about anything real, that kiss was going to come up again, and I still didn’t have a very good answer for him. I hadn’t been lying—I didn’t regret it, couldn’t regret anything that achingly sweet and sexy, but I also had no clue what to do next. Oh, my body had plenty of ideas, including blowing off the rest of the day’s driving, but my mind refused to let my baser impulses do the driving.

  “Professor Tuttle is looking forward to the Denver footage,” I reported to Alden as part of my effort to keep the conversation on neutral subjects. “That should make a good story for him later.”

  “How about we don’t tell him about the near deck hijacking?” Alden had that vaguely guilty expression of a kid who’d never been in much trouble.

  “What, and miss the chance to look all victorious?” I grinned at him. “Trust me. I can tell it so it doesn’t sound so bad. And he’ll be happy to hear we’re working well together.”

  “We did make a good team.” Alden’s ears went pink as if he too might be thinking about the kiss. Good. At least I wasn’t the only one whose brain kept going there. But also bad because it meant we’d have to talk about it eventually and gah.

  “See? Great teamwork, no one injured, and all our decks safe and sound. He’ll be thrilled.”

  “If you say so.” Even Alden’s eye roll did something to me, made me grin. I was behaving like a fourteen-year-old with a crush, and I needed to rein it in, hit the reset button or something. Funny how before the trip, I’d been so sure Alden’s greatest risk was to my sanity, not my heart. I might take a lot of risks, but never that one. I knew better than to go chancing that kind of hurt. Not that it kept me from wanting more kisses, but I tried to use the reminder to focus on something other than his cuteness.

  Returning to my phone, one of my other messages caught my eye. “Got one of those rare sneak-texts from my sister. Wonder if she sensed me close by or something.”

  “Maybe.” The soft look Alden gave me wasn’t pity, but rather understanding—as if he got how important my sisters were to me and how messed up my situation was.

  “Anyway she says she liked the last game the professor put up on his channel. The one where you crushed Jasper like cracker crumbs, and Payton and I went back and forth before I beat them. She says, and I quote, ‘The bossy one sure wins a lot. But he’s cute so there’s that.’ Hmm. Gotta agree with her there.” I laughed just to see if I could get him to blush again.

  “Am not.” Alden studied his placemat.

  “Are too,” I said right as our food arrived, my resolve to not flirt apparently not lasting even thirty seconds. But I tried to steer things back to safer shores as we ate—talking about food we liked growing up, things our grandmothers made. Alden had never had a red velvet cake, and I liked hearing about the various Jewish holiday
s, liked picturing little Alden.

  “These latkes are good, but Mimi’s are better. You should come by some weekend. She and Mom like cooking together.”

  “Invite me over and maybe I will,” I countered. And okay, I was still flirting a little. It was kinda nice to think about some future where Alden and I stayed friendly, where I got to hang out with him even after this trip was done. I didn’t like thinking too much about the future, but that vision of a meal with his family made me smile.

  But I wished I could make up my mind about whether that vague and comforting future might include something more. Logic—Alden’s favorite thing—would say no way, but my body kept not listening to my brain. I wanted him. In a way I hadn’t wanted anything in quite some time. Kissing him again felt almost inevitable, something that both elated and terrified me as we finished eating.

  Finally back on the highway west, we made decent time leaving the suburbs of Denver behind. Alden was driving, which meant plenty of time for me to appreciate the mountains and gorgeous scenery. The mountains were every bit as majestic as I remembered, the perfect blue skies making me itch to escape the confines of the car. And maybe my unsettled brain too.

  “There’s a scenic overlook coming for the Dillon Reservoir.” I stretched in my seat. “And we’re making good enough time that I think we’ve earned a brief detour.”

  “Okay. We can get some good pictures for Professor Tuttle. At least there’s not another game-store stop until St. George tomorrow.”

  “Here’s to hoping they’re not part of the Odyssey Mafia network,” I joked, but seriously, I was happy to see the last of Danny and Bart.

  Even for a weekday, the dam road bypass off the highway was crowded with RVs and tourists, but as we continued on, we found a not-too-full overlook to park at. Alden snapped some pics of me with the turquoise lake and craggy hills in the background before we discovered a short trail that led closer to the lake.

  But my stupid lungs still weren’t cooperating the best with the altitude and dry air, and I needed to take a breather on a log off the path.

  “Sorry.” I fingered my inhaler, trying to decide whether I needed another dose or if the moment of rest would be enough.

  “Don’t be sorry.” He moved so his hand hovered near my back, then seemed to think better of the gesture, pulling it back.

  “You can touch me. Sorry if I was a jerk about that earlier.” I bent forward, still trying to find my breath. Alden took my permission seriously, using his hand to tentatively stroke my back.

  “Can I do anything? Water?”

  “Nah. Just sitting is good. At least it’s pretty here.” I gestured at the lake in front of us, farther down the path, and the canopy of the trees sheltering us from the sun.

  “Yeah.” He licked his lips, which was probably way more about the dry air than being sexy, but it still hit me like a shock wave.

  Don’t. Don’t. I tried to remind myself of all the reasons I shouldn’t want this, shouldn’t go there again, but all I could seem to remember was how soft his lips were, how good he tasted, how much I liked the little gasp he’d made…

  Yeah. I was a total goner, and I wasn’t surprised when my next words came out flirty.

  “But you know… If you want to see if a kiss would cure me, I wouldn’t stop you.”

  “Medicinal kisses?” He frowned, not jumping at this excuse as I’d hoped he might.

  “Sure. Why not?” God, why couldn’t this be easy? This was the conversation I’d been dreading all afternoon, and I supposed I deserved the wary look he gave me.

  “Are you going to turn weird after again? I like it better when we’re talking.” Kicking at some pine needles, he turned his head away.

  “Sorry about that. I liked kissing you.”

  “Same.” The shyness in his voice shook some of the truth I’d been holding back loose.

  “I just… I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want you to feel convenient. Or, I don’t know, used somehow.”

  “I appreciate that, but there are far worse things to be used for than my lips.” His tone was so serious that I had to laugh. Maybe we could get through this awkward part after all.

  “I mean it. I don’t want you hurt here. I think you could do better than kissing me.”

  His laugh was a harsh bark. “Yeah, Conrad. Because there’s such a long line of guys waiting for the privilege.”

  “Hey.” Hands on his shoulders, I turned him back toward me. “Don’t sell yourself so short. You’re a great guy. I meant what I said back at the restaurant. I like you. And I haven’t liked anyone in a long time. Not like that.”

  He considered this for a moment before he nodded. “I’m sorry for all the times I implied you were…indiscriminate.”

  “Oh, I definitely went through that phase.” I laughed before sobering. “But Angelo and everything else that went down kind of cured me of that. And even if it hadn’t, kissing you…wasn’t that.”

  That was as close as I was going to come to admitting that he was something other than my usual über-casual hookups. I still wasn’t sure exactly what other was, but this felt big. Important. As if our bodies had been secretly building toward this for years and our brains were only now catching up. Whatever this was, I knew I wasn’t easily walking away come morning. And scary as it was, I wanted him to know that.

  “Then what was it?” he whispered.

  “Do we have to name it right this second?” As big as this felt, all my muscles tensed at the idea of trying to define what this was to either of us.

  “Maybe not right now.” His forehead creased, uncertainty in his eyes.

  “I don’t need a label or technical definition to know that I want to kiss you again so much it’s almost painful. It seems like a waste to not enjoy as much of this trip as we can.”

  “Including kissing?” He didn’t sound entirely opposed to the concept, which I counted as a huge win.

  “Absolutely.”

  “Maybe…” Alden licked his lips again, and I could almost see the gears grinding in his impressive brain, could see the moment when he decided to kiss me again, eyes going darker, more focused as he leaned in. I met him halfway, as much out of eagerness as self-defense, not wanting to bump faces again.

  This kiss was softer than the first, slower. We were alone on the path, had been for some time, and besides that, we were slightly hidden by trees. This sense of our own private hideaway made me bolder than the first time. I focused on bringing more of my A game, taking my time to nibble and tease, coaxing little gasps from him. He tasted sweet, as I’d known he would, but not cloying like candy. Rather more elusive and addictive, something unique to him that drove me crazy wanting more of it. His lips were as soft as I remembered, far fuller than they looked, but even more than their feel, the noises he made spurred me on. Figuring out what my buttoned-up control freak liked was both fun and a revelation. He seemed to like it when I took the lead and when I was aggressive, but also was eager to imitate whatever I showed him.

  I sucked on his lower lip, making him gasp, shoulders shuddering under my hands. Just as in the game, once he caught on to what I was after, he was a quick study, immediately copying my move in a way that had me almost dizzy with want. His tongue ventured into my mouth, and I captured it, making him groan before he did the same thing to me. At first, my hands stayed on his shoulders, steadying myself, but then gradually, I let them roam over the lean muscles of his back. Following my lead, he did the same thing, fingers electric against my spine. We traded kisses back and forth until I was breathless in a way that had nothing to do with asthma and everything to do with him.

  “We should…” His voice trailed off when I stole one last kiss. “We need to head back?”

  I loved how he made it a question, like maybe we could simply put down roots here, stay for all eternity in this pleasant little cocoon where the re
al world couldn’t reach us. But he was right. Damn it.

  “Yeah.” Standing, I offered him a hand up. He took it, but didn’t let go, glancing down at our hands, a solemn expression on his face as though maybe he expected me to drop his hand or for things to get weird again. So, I squeezed his fingers, lacing our hands together, trying to tell him without words that this thing between us wasn’t over yet. I couldn’t guarantee it wouldn’t get weird, but I wasn’t going to ghost him either. I kept holding on as we made our way back to the main path.

  His hand felt solid in mine. Real. Electric like his touch, but also grounding. I’d never really stopped to appreciate how awesome holding hands was. It was a different sort of closeness, a level of sweetness I wasn’t sure I’d ever reached before.

  “We’ll stop again.” He sounded as regretful to leave this place as I was.

  “Plenty of other overlooks. And besides, I’ve got a plan if we can make Utah before stopping for the night.”

  “Why does you with a plan worry me?” He gave a nervous laugh as we approached the car, still not dropping my hand.

  “Because you know it’s going to be awesome.” I beamed at him, promise sizzling between us. “I’m going to show you stars. I promised, remember?”

  There was so, so much I wanted to show him. Keeping that promise seemed like the most important thing in my life, as if I was thawing from a long winter where my only focus had been survival to arrive at a summer where he was the sun, and basking in his warmth the best thing ever. I wasn’t going to take this gift of time together for granted.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Alden

  Colorado was forever going to be synonymous with kisses in my head. We stopped in Vail, with all the ritzy ski-themed businesses, for pricey gas and a few sneaky kisses parked behind some towering trees. Glenwood Springs apparently had a canyon and a pretty view of where the Colorado and Roaring Fork Rivers met, but I’d been more focused on fast kisses on a bench overlooking the meeting of two bridges. And that’s exactly what it felt like inside me—new bridges being discovered that led to the most unlikely of destinations. Two strong bodies, each an independent force, meeting in the middle, some sort of emotional physics at work.