Conventionally Yours (True Colors)

by Annabeth Albert

  “No. I keep wanting to tell you, but the moment keeps being not perfect.”

  “I don’t need perfect. Just you.”

  “I know.” He gave me a tender smile. “Finally decided to stop waiting for perfect. I wanted to say it back at the tournament too. I was just…”

  “Freaked out?”

  “Yeah. That. Scared to let myself feel that. Scared at what it meant. Because loving you means maybe losing you, and I’m not sure I could deal with that.”

  “You’re not going to lose me.” I squeezed his hand.

  “And it means we could hurt each other too,” he whispered. “Love…it’s big. Real. Tends to mean someone gets screwed over—”

  “Wrong kind of screwing.” Teasing, I took a page from his book before sobering. “I get that. But I’m not going to hurt you, Con. At least not on purpose. And if one of us gets hurt by accident, I really want to think we can deal. No matter what. Not stop loving each other just because it gets hard sometimes.”

  “We can deal.” He leaned in right as the doors opened. Reluctantly, Conrad pulled away. “And look, we made it.”

  “We did.” Heart full, I gave him the world’s fastest kiss, possible onlookers and all. “We made it to the top.”

  And we had, coming so much further than I would have thought possible even a week or two earlier—more than I would have let myself dream, even in my most private of wishes. I never would have thought we’d make it here. But here we were, rubbing shoulders and taking selfies on the observation deck, city sprawled beneath us. And when I looked at the pictures, in his eyes, I saw the future, too, vast and wide open, full of twinkling lights and discoveries yet to come. And us together for all of it, perched on top of the world, ready to take it on, one mile marker at a time.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Conrad

  Six Months Later

  “I trusted you, man.” I frowned.

  “As you should.” Alden bumped feet with me as the train chugged and swayed. “I followed a recipe.”

  “I’m still nervous.”

  “About what I did to the pie?” His forehead creased adorably as he balanced the bag with all the food on his lap. The train heading into New Jersey was packed with holiday revelers, everyone rushing to make it home for Thanksgiving. We weren’t the only ones with food, and the car was full of cinnamon and other spices, warm homey scents that should have calmed me but didn’t.

  “Not that.”

  “About my moms?” He nudged my foot again. My boots were new, still stiff, far better quality than my old kicks, which hadn’t survived the summer. “They love you, and you know it. It’s entirely possible they may renounce me and adopt you instead. And we’re back in the carriage house again tonight. You like it there.”

  “I do.” I tried to tell him with my eyes just how fond those memories were. We’d spent a good chunk of the summer tangled up on the bed in his little house behind his moms’ place, waiting for my job to finalize and all the details—so many details—to fall into place. Luckily, Alden was good at logistics and strategy because without him, I’m not sure I would have coped with all the minutiae that went into starting a new life.

  Of course, he was also largely responsible for that new life, since without him, none of this would have been possible. Oh, he liked to tell me that I’d done it all on my own, winning the tournament, getting the job at Odyssey, but I knew better. I never would have made it to Vegas, much less to here without him. Beneath the bags, I grabbed his gloved hand. Outside, a light dusting of snow was coming down.

  “It’s supposed to snow heavier this weekend.” I sucked in a deep breath. “And I don’t know whether to hope it grounds planes or not.”

  “Ah.” Alden’s eyes were full of understanding. “You’re not worried about the pie at all. This is about your mom coming.”

  “Yeah.” I looked out the window as the city gave way to more suburbs and smaller towns as we approached Gracehaven. My mom and sisters were coming to the city to see the seasonal decorations, take in a few holiday Broadway shows, and oh yeah, see me. It would be my first time seeing them in a year and half or so, and worried was a vast understatement.

  We’d gone from tentative, occasional text messages to a few emails to strained phone conversations. She hadn’t entirely apologized for going along with my dad for so many months, but it was clear she at least wanted something of a relationship with me, even if he was insisting on still being a jerkwad. I took petty solace in the news that his team had a dismal record this season. If it wasn’t for my sisters, I’d hope the school fired his ass. I might be able to rebuild something with my mom, but it would take a lot more than some grunted greeting to make me forgive him.

  “Do you want me to skip—”

  “No.” I gripped his hand tighter. “You are not skipping dinner with them. You’re a part of my life now. A big part. I love you. And they’re just going to have to deal with that if they want to see me.”

  “Good. And if it’s too awful, we just leave early. Head home.”

  “I like the sound of that.” I still wasn’t tired of saying home and it meaning him. We had a little studio walk-up in Brooklyn, near the subway for my commute into the city and his to his classes. He was deep into his first semester of the teaching certificate, pulling all A’s, because of course he was. As of a few weeks ago, he was also working part-time at Odyssey with some play test groups. Imelda and her team had finally worn him down. It wasn’t my group or my project, but it was still nice having him along for my commute and lunch break a couple of days a week. He was hedging his bets, still deciding whether he’d teach at the end of his program or work full-time for Odyssey.

  My money was on teaching, as he did seem to really love it, already looking ahead to his student-teaching rotations. And that was okay. He could have his thing and I had mine, and I really did love the project I was on at Odyssey. The work was long and hard, and not the same as playing cards all day at all, with endless decisions and details to sort out, but I loved it. Chances were good that Jasper would be joining me in the spring after graduation, and I got to see Professor Tuttle occasionally too.

  “Now arriving at Gracehaven,” the train announced, and we gathered up our stuff. Speaking of our friends, they were all waiting for us after the short walk from the train station to Arthur’s game store. He’d closed early for a Wednesday night, but stayed open for his best customers for a sort of “friendsgiving” potluck, breaking his no-food rules for the one night. Tomorrow, we’d have Thanksgiving with Alden’s moms and his sisters and then the weekend gauntlet with my family, but tonight was all about friends, food, and playing cards.

  “You think you’d be sick of the game by now,” Jasper joked as we made our way into the store. His sister had made a full recovery, and it would be a happy holiday at his house too.

  “Never,” I assured him. “And you’ll see—there’s almost no time to actually play. I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks.”

  “The Gamer Grandpa audience is going to love seeing you back.” Payton slapped my shoulder. They were being cagey about whether they wanted to work for Odyssey or not. Rumor was that they too were going to finally graduate in the spring, but of course they refused to confirm.

  “They’re right.” Walking slowly with a cane, Professor Tuttle made his way to us. “Now, the audience has missed you both. But you don’t want to play each other, right?”

  Alden and I exchanged a glance. Over the months, we’d progressed from not being able to play each other at all, to playing for silly little favors, to actually sitting down and having real matches on the rare occasions when we were both free. In fact, it was almost something of a treat, finishing off a long week of work with a few rounds with him at our tiny table before a few more rounds in the bed that took up most of the floor space in the studio.

  “Bring it on,” he
said with a slow smile as he added our food offerings to the overflowing table filled with pies and casseroles. “I’ve got a new deck he’s going to hate.”

  “Oh, we’ll see about that.” I grinned back. “I’ve got more than a few tricks up my sleeve.”

  “Looking forward to it.” He nodded firmly, and I believed him. We’d play for the cameras, play with our friends, and no one would keep track of who won and who lost. At the end of the night, we’d hold hands, racing through a snowy, sleepy town to the warm bed waiting for us. I’d tease him about how he never saw my new frog mage coming, and he’d point out that his tinkering strategy had paid off. Still laughing, we’d crawl under the covers and forget about everything other than each other. We’d both already won the biggest prize of all, and no game could ever take that from us.

  My old mantra of one more turn had become an infinite number of turns, both mundane and earth-shattering, all adding up to a life I wouldn’t trade for anything.

  Bonus Content

  Behind-the-scenes sketches

  Resources

  Sneak Peek

  Character Sketches

  Resources

  Game Shops & Comic Book Shops

  Game shops and comic book shops are a great way to meet new people and explore new fandoms. Many host board game nights, roleplaying campaigns, and other cool ways to connect with like-minded people. Don’t know where your nearest game shop is? Check out Comic Shop Locator to find stores near you.

  Board Games

  Want to know more about board games in particular? I Need Diverse Games is a nonprofit designed to highlight, boost, and advocate for marginalized groups across the gaming space. Tabletop Gaymers is also a terrific resource. There are countless YouTube shows and podcasts dedicated to board gaming, including Girls’ Game Shelf—a WOC-run resource for inclusive tabletop gaming—and Board Game Blitz.

  geekandsundry.com/shows/tabletop

  geekandsundry.com/shows/game-the-game

  Roleplaying Games

  There are countless resources out there for anyone interested in roleplaying games—from Dungeons and Dragons to Pathfinder to FATE and more! If you want to watch an adventure unfold before you gather your own party, there are also wildly popular streams of epic, ongoing games to enjoy. RPG Casts is a great way to find games run by diverse players.

  dnd.wizards.com

  critrole.com

  Card Games

  And then of course there are the card games. Magic: The Gathering is only one of the many, many games you can lose yourself in—both in-person and online. There are many awesome YouTube shows and blogs designed to maximize your card playing enjoyment. Some of our favorites include the Command Zone and Tolarian Community College. The comedy channel Loading Ready Run has many skits with broad gamer appeal, including some devoted to card games.

  Coming 2021

  It’s Jasper’s turn!

  Jasper would do anything for his little sister and the other kids at the children’s hospital…including convince a cute but off-limits frenemy to cosplay as their favorite knight. But sometimes make-believe can feel all too real…

  Author’s Note

  As with all my projects, I tried very hard to be accurate and true to the journey Conrad and Alden undertook on multiple levels—the road trip itself but also their personal journey of self discovery. For the road trip, I tried to be accurate with drive times and based most of their stops on actual places with a few notable exceptions. Gracehaven, the college and the town, is my own creation. Marshall, Missouri does indeed have a Wonder Dog museum, but sadly, no longer has an arcade in town. Mary and Blue’s Garage is also my own creation. All the game stores and game store owners are fictional—no resemblance to actual stores or their respective owners is intended. I researched extensively, including multiple visits to a variety of stores, and made sure that the towns in question did have game stores, but all the owners are 100 percent fictional characters. Obviously, the book was influenced by multiple trading card games and my experiences playing those games, but Odyssey is my own creation for purposes of this book. Massive Odyssey Con is based on multiple different fan and gaming conventions, but no resemblance to actual convention organizers or tournament workers is intended. In my personal experiences, all game store owners, players, convention volunteers and organizers, and content creators have been engaging, helpful, and kind people, and I’m particularly grateful to those who spoke with me for purposes of the book. Likewise, Gamer Grandpa is an entirely fictional creation. I’m so grateful for all the tabletop vloggers out there, but no resemblance to existing shows or creators is intended. Some of my favorite creators include Tolarian Community College, The Command Zone, and Load, Ready, Run along with many other podcasts and vlogs. I’m so grateful to the vibrant gaming community. Finally, I think it’s important to note that each neurodiverse individual has their own experiences, mannerisms, background, feelings, medical history, anxieties, and more. In addition to my own experiences, I spoke with a number of individuals as well as health care professionals. And like every character, Alden is a multidimensional, fallible person whose views may not always reflect those of every single other neurodiverse person. Likewise, Conrad’s experiences with his parents are his own. But far too many LGBTQIA+ teens and young adults do end up on their own, cut off from family. I am a passionate supporter of things like the Trevor Project designed to help these most vulnerable young people.

  Acknowledgments

  This book would not be possible without the help and support of so many people. First, thank you to my agent, Deidre Knight, for believing in this project. Next, thank you to Mary Altman and the entire Sourcebooks team for giving this book a home and giving me the freedom to bring this story to life. I am especially appreciative of the art and publicity departments for their tireless efforts on behalf of their authors. Each book is a journey, and that journey is never complete with the first draft. I’m exceptionally grateful for Mary and the rest of the editing team for pushing me to go deeper with the story, really hone in on the core elements of their journey, and helping me to make this something I’m very proud to share. Edie Danford, Wendy Qualls, Karen Stivali, and Melinda Reuter all read early drafts and had fabulous insights for me that enriched the final product. I’m also grateful to those who spoke with me anonymously about neurodiversity and who helped with Alden’s journey in particular. My family put up with a lot of late nights and harried interactions during the writing and editing of this book, and I am eternally grateful for their support and enthusiasm for this project. The whole family helped with brainstorming game-play details, and I’m so glad the book brought us together in that way. Finally, thank you to all the booksellers and librarians out there who help us to bring our stories to readers. To all the readers who share our work—every comment, share, like, review, mention and other support makes all the difference in the world. A special thank-you to the book bloggers, reviewers, and instagrammers who participate in tours, tirelessly review, artfully photograph and otherwise make our book community such a vibrant place. And thank you for reading—without readers, there could be no books, and I am grateful for each and every reader.

  About the Author

  Annabeth Albert is a multi-published Pacific Northwest writer of critically acclaimed and fan-favorite LGBTQIA+ stories, including the #FrozenHearts, #OutOfUniform, #Gaymers, #PortlandHeat and #PerfectHarmony series. To find out what she’s working on next—as well as other fun extras—find her online.

  Connect online:

  annabethalbert.com

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  About the Illustrator

  Lauren Dombrowski is a production editor by day, illustrator and comic artist by night. Their previous artistic publications include Dates! Volume 3 (2019) and A Survey of Queer Looks 1890–2018 (2018) with Margins Publishing, as well as Ta
bula Idem: A Queer Tarot Comic Anthology (2017) with Fortuna Media. Lauren works to promote and create positive, queer-friendly stories, is easily excited, and is determined to be friends with every animal. Except for that one prairie dog in South Dakota. He knows what he did.

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