Killing Freedom

by Ryan Casey

  She sniffed and rested her head against his hand. If she’d been anybody else’s sister she might have protested, but she knew it was pointless.

  ‘Stay safe, brother. Please, stay safe.’

  He nodded at her and kissed her cheek before turning to Gurdit’s pickup truck.

  It seemed so long ago that the metal of his gun had last rubbed against his thigh.

  It was dark when he finally arrived at the village. He stopped the car and took a deep breath, pulling his hood over his head to try and disguise himself, even though it didn’t look like many people were around.

  He hopped from the seat where Gurdit had been shot. Even though he’d tried to clean up what he could, his trousers stuck to the clotting blood, crackling like velcro as he climbed out of the vehicle.

  The village was unusually quiet, with only the chattering of locusts audible as the breeze brushed through the streets, no indication of the madness of the market that would have roared on earlier that afternoon. As he approached his uncle’s place, he noticed a ‘Closed’ sign pinned up against the front door. How long had he been in there? Days? Hours? He should’ve seen this coming. Mustapha wouldn’t be happy.

  No—that’s not a priority right now. Life: first, happiness: second.

  He scanned the street as he reached into his pocket for his gun, noticing sudden movements in the darkness. Had they always been there or was he only just now aware of them? Not worth taking the risk either way. He gripped the gun in his right hand and pushed the door open gently with his left, his heart thumping in his chest. Calm, Jared. Calm. Waves. Nature noises. CD number two, tracks seven and nine. Calm.

  The reception area was completely dark. He crept against the creaking floorboards and towards the back rooms, his gun in hand, squinting to adjust his eyes. Every step he took seemed to emit some sort of creak from a new place in the building. He thought he saw things move in the corners of the room. Just the darkness. Just the darkness playing tricks. Was that a voice? He spun around to face the door where the sitting area was—it was padlocked shut. Nothing to see.

  As Jared crept closer to the main corridor, he noticed the dim glow of a light underneath the door growing. Footsteps? Yes, definitely footsteps. Something shuffling. His chest tightened as he saw a shadow move within. Somebody in there. He had to prepare himself. He had to be ready.

  He edged further towards the door and pressed his hand against the cool metal of the handle. He could deal with this. He’d handled worse situations than this before. This was manageable. Raymond might be angry, but at least he was here. That was the main thing.

  He clutched the rucksack of cash against his shoulder before closing his eyes and wiping the sweat away from his forehead with his gun hand.

  This will all be over soon.

  He kicked the door open and threw himself into the corridor.

  It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the figure stood in front of him.

  When they did, he realised the figure wasn’t standing at all.

  It was his uncle, tied to a chair in the middle of the corridor. Grey duct tape covered his mouth as sweat and tears dripped down onto his raw chest, scabbing over after the blade had etched the words into it. Lines of blood trickled down like leaking ink. His eyes expanded as he saw Jared, but it wasn’t relief. It was fear. He’d seen that look enough times before to know. He needed to get him out of that chair and out of here.

  As Jared moved towards Mustapha, his uncle began to pant and exhale from underneath his gag, rattling around in his wooden chair like a trapped animal.

  ‘It’s okay, Uncle,’ Jared said. ‘It’s okay, I—’

  The next thing he felt was the blow against the back of his head. He crashed towards the ground face-first, the taste of blood gushing around his mouth.

  His eyes stung. Sounds and voices echoed around him. He wasn’t alone. Of course he wasn’t alone. He turned around, lying at his uncle’s feet, and looked up to see someone emerging from the end of the corridor, their crutches clicking against the hard, dirty tiles of the floor.

  The wispy greying hair. The narrow eyes.

  He’d found him. Of course he was here.

  He closed his eyes and opened them again, trying to see things more clearly.

  ‘Now there was no need to be quite so rough, Patrice, was there?’ Raymond said, looking disapprovingly at the man who struck Jared down. He eyed the other man up and down and shook his head before limping on towards Jared as he lay at his uncle’s feet. He could feel his uncle’s toes curling in his shoe, doing everything they could to get even just a little bit further away from Raymond.

  ‘I’m so glad you could make it,’ Raymond said, propping his crutches against the wall and sitting opposite Jared, wincing as he descended to the floor. ‘I want to apologise for the way we got you here, but I had a bad feeling you would need some convincing. I know what you can fucking be like, eh?’ He smirked, revealing a newly-chipped front tooth. Had Jared caused that in the standoff at Faith’s?

  Jared rubbed at the bleeding bump on the back of his head, staring up at Raymond.

  ‘I… look, I’m sorry about what we had to do to your uncle, but you didn’t leave me with much of a choice, right?’ He rubbed his hand down his leg and winced. Jared knew what he was implying—eye for an eye, and all that.

  ‘But look—I apologise for that too, Jared. I brought that on myself. I was rough, and I was out of place walking up to… to your sister like that. I’m sorry.’ He extended his hand towards Jared.

  Jared remained completely still on the floor, watching Raymond’s hand as it dangled in front of him. He’s sorry. But no—he’s just saying that. Keep it cool. Think about this.

  Mustapha gagged and battled to mumble something from underneath the duct tape. Everybody ignored him.

  Raymond looked into Jared’s eyes before pulling his hand back and brushing them together, kicking up a cloud of dust. ‘Okay, okay. Getting ahead of myself, whatever. I just don’t get what it is you really wanted from all this, though, kid.’

  Jared stared at Raymond. His chest was weighed down by everything—the reality of the situation. His head throbbed as if it were pounding litre after litre of blood out of a tap in the back.

  Raymond sighed and pulled himself to his feet once more with the help of the wall at the side of the corridor. One of the men walked over to him to give him a hand; he shrugged them away and winced as he pulled himself back to his feet. ‘Come on, Jared. Talk to me. We’ve been friends… practically family, for years now. You helped me through all sorts of shit. And I like to think I helped you and your family too. Come on, man. It’s the least I deserve, right?’ His cheeks were beginning to redden, his tone growing more desperate and pleading.

  ‘I just… you need to let us go,’ Jared said, unable to look Raymond in the eye.

  Raymond laughed and clapped his hands together. ‘He speaks! You spoke.’ His face flickered back out of its happy state in the space of a second. ‘Jared, you know by now that I can’t just let you go, don’t you?’

  Jared pondered the thought. He did know that, didn’t he? Why had he even come here? To beg and plead? Or was it because it would be easier to just hand himself over, appeal to Raymond’s better nature? There was a decent man underneath. He knew deep down that there was somebody who cared. Before his wife passed away, things were different. Raymond was humble—a bit power crazy still, but humble. Raymond had once told him that he’d always wanted a child of his own. Nature—and business—had gotten in the way, but still.

  There was a decent man underneath, somewhere.

  Raymond brushed his hands together again. He curled his eyebrows and looked at Jared with a sympathetic stare. ‘I’m really sorry if you thought you could just get out when you wanted to, but I think there’s been a big misunderstanding if that’s what you thought, right? I never said that, did I?’ He spoke like Dad used to speak when he twisted his way out of cinema trips when he and Faith were kids.


  Jared took a deep breath and clenched his eyes together, still trying to regain focus. ‘I’ve brought some of your money. I can get the rest… I can get it back to you in time. But I’ve got something good now. I’ve got a fresh start.’

  Raymond wiped his mouth and laughed. ‘You seriously think you can just walk away from all this, as simple as that?’ Spit flickered out of his mouth and down onto his chin. His cheeks were growing red again in the darkness of the corridor. ‘Ah, kid. I always thought you were smarter than that.’

  Raymond sighed and walked towards the black bag, filled with most of the money. He picked it up by the top strap and dangled it on one finger. ‘Is this the money?’ he asked, gesturing towards it with his other hand.

  Jared nodded. Maybe he’d give him a shot. Maybe he’d see where he was coming from and give him a chance. Just one chance—that’s all he needed.

  Raymond shoved his hand into the bag and swirled it round inside. Then, after fumbling about with the money, he stuck his bottom lip out and threw it over to one of the men he was with, nodding his head. ‘Not bad. Not all of it, but not bad.’

  Jared kept his eyes on Raymond as he towered above him.

  ‘Compensation for the knee, maybe?’ His face twitched as he broke into a smile.

  ‘Raymond, you—’

  ‘No, don’t, Jared. You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I get it. Someone lashed out and you retaliated.’ He paused, still staring at Jared. His smile was beginning to falter. ‘This… this isn’t right. Guys, cut the old man free.’

  Jared’s stomach fluttered. Cut him free? Was he…?

  Mustapha shuffled and mumbled in the chair behind him. Two men marched past Jared and untied the rope binding his uncle’s legs to the chair. As he was released, he kicked out and mumbled some more.

  Jared watched in awe as the men lifted Mustapha from the chair and dragged him out of the corridor and down towards the reception area, the masking tape still covering his mouth. Raymond didn’t look into his eyes as he stumbled past, disappearing out of the door and into the darkness.

  And then it was just him and Raymond.

  There was a silence around the room. The light shuffling of Raymond’s shoes against the dusty hard floor. Breathing: his own or Raymond’s or both. He was still lingering on the floor like a helpless animal, so he brushed his hands and pulled himself to his feet. Raymond stared back at him, leaning against the wall with his hands behind his back.

  ‘Just me and you then, huh?’

  Jared nodded. He couldn’t quite bring himself to look Raymond in the eye. ‘So, that’s it?’

  Raymond’s top lip twitched. ‘That’s it, isn’t it? The perfect happy ending. Your uncle walks free, I take the bag of money. You, your girlfriend, and your sister live happily ever after. That’s the perfect ending, right?’

  Jared’s stomach sank as a Raymond revealed a confident, teasing smile. He’d seen it enough times before to know what it meant. ‘But?’

  Raymond sniggered. ‘There’s always a but, huh? You’ve learned well. Always were a receptive kid.’

  ‘You might as well just tell me it as it is,’ Jared said, straightening his back. ‘No more games.’

  Raymond laughed and scratched his eyebrow. ‘Ahh, Jared. You’ve come a long way. You’ve got quite a tongue on you these days. I’m not sure I like it. But okay, you want to know the deal. Okay, here’s the deal—I’ve thought long and hard about this, so don’t let me down, okay?’

  Jared said nothing. He watched and waited, his hands shaking by his side.

  ‘Okay—well, you have a choice. You can come back with me and the boys now, and I’ll have you on a new job next week. Nice easy job—a business type. Sleeps with a lot of women. It can be like the old days, Jared. You can get back to where you were. We’ve all… we’ve all lost in this.’ He scratched at his eyelid, subtle enough to make it seem accidental, but nothing with Raymond was accidental. ‘There’s been a lot of confusion and a lot of stress, but the election is over in five days, and we’ll win it. We can get rid of their candidate if it goes wrong—you can get rid of him. There’s a chance, Jared. A chance to start fresh. I can change.’

  Jared diverted his eyes towards the floor again. A chance to start fresh. Sheltered, looked after. Jobs he was capable of doing when he put his mind to it. He made a living off other people’s lives. And Raymond said he could change. Things could be different.

  Raymond spotted the twinkle in his eye. ‘I saw that then, Jared. That look. Look—I know you want to go on a wild run from time to time. All these dreams of the open road. I get that too, Jared. But it’s not reality. It’s not your reality. Getting tied down… out in the open—all that bullshit. It’s not who you are. It’s not the life you chose. Come on, Jared. Come back to me.’

  Jared looked at Raymond’s pleading eyes. There was complete silence for a few moments as they stared at one another. ‘And the other option?’

  Raymond sighed and tilted his head towards the ground before looking back up at Jared. ‘The other option is you walk out of this door and you go and live your life.’

  The words crashed into Jared’s ears. He stumbled backwards a little. Was he saying he actually had a choice?

  A chance?

  ‘You mean… I can just walk free?’ His voice faltered like an excited pre-teen child.

  Raymond bit his lip and examined Jared’s face, looking closely at his expressions. ‘Yeah.’

  This was it. This is all he’d wanted. A new start. A chance to start again after all these years of stasis.

  A family. He would have the chance to do right where his father had failed.

  His fists tightened. He could barely control his emotions. ‘Raymond… I’m so thankful for everything you’ve ever done for me, but—’

  ‘Right,’ Raymond cut in. He looked towards the ground now. ‘I kind of saw this coming. I thought you were different to the rest. I thought what we had—what we’ve achieved together—I thought it meant something to you.’

  ‘It does mean something,’ Jared said. ‘It—it means so much that you… that you were there for me for all these years. That you took me in when I was on the streets and looked out for me. It means a lot—it really does.’

  Raymond sighed and turned upwards to face the ceiling. His eyes glistened with building tears. ‘Y’know, when my wife was around, she loved you to pieces. You know that, don’t you?’

  Jared nodded. She’d always been so bubbly and full of life. She didn’t get in the way of her husband’s work, but ultimately her husband’s work got in the way of her.

  Raymond wiped the corner of his eye. ‘Because we… y’know, we couldn’t have a kid, it was always you, Jared. I swear I’m not just saying that because of… because of how things are. And—and I’m sorry if I haven’t treated you right. But… but if you walk out that door, you walk out for good, okay? You remember what happened to my wife, don’t you?’

  Jared shook his head. One day, Raymond had woken up to find his wife’s head lying next to him.

  The rest of her body was in the kitchen.

  ‘A traitor,’ Raymond said. ‘One of my own that I trusted. Can you imagine how that made me feel, hmm? Can you imagine what that made me want to do to all of my people—all of you? But you… You were different. I thought you were different.’

  The guilt swelled in Jared’s stomach. ‘I appreciate everything, Raymond. And—and I was being honest. You were both there for me so… so I supported you both. But it’s… I just need a new start. This is my chance, Raymond. You have to understand that.’

  Raymond wiped the mounting tears from his cheeks. ‘Go, then. Just go.’

  He turned away from Jared and waited for him to pass.

  Jared was taken aback by the sudden change in Raymond’s tone. Was he really just letting him go so easily? Was this all it really took to be free?

  He began to stumble past Raymond. He looked at his face, trying to make eye-contact one more time, to s
ay something of a goodbye, but all he could really do was walk. Raymond didn’t turn to face him.

  He cleared his throat. ‘Bye, Raymond. Thanks for e—’

  ‘You’ll be back, Jared,’ Raymond interjected. ‘You can keep the money you’ve got left all you want, but you’ll be back. I know how people like you work. I know what drives people like you. You’ll get sick of her. Or she’ll find out you knew.’

  Jared walked a little faster now and dropped his gaze towards his feet. ‘I’m grateful for everything you’ve do—’

  ‘You’re going to be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your days, Jared. I just want to warn you because I’m a reasonable guy. But there’s a lot of people out there—wives, husbands—whose lives you have destroyed. Without my protection, you’re going to struggle, kid. I can’t trust you anymore. From this moment on, the rules change. You get that, don’t you?’ Raymond’s eyes were bloodshot with sincerity.

  ‘I’ll manage. Thanks.’

  He turned the handle and walked out of the corridor.

  He’d have to get them somewhere safe.

  One of Raymond’s guards was dabbing ointment on Mustapha’s chest as Jared walked out into the reception area. They eyed Jared up with disgust. Jared disregarded them and headed towards his uncle, who frowned at him as he moved near. He reached his arm out to comfort him.

  ‘Don’t,’ Mustapha winced. There was a fear in his eyes as the bald-headed guard smirked.

  ‘Don’t think the old man want much to do with you, kiddo,’ he said.

  ‘Uncle, I’m so—’

  ‘Just go,’ Mustapha spat. His bottom jaw was shaking and his nostrils flickered at either side. ‘Just… go. Do not bring any more trouble on this house—on this village. Just get out of here.’

  Jared tried to say something else but the lump in his throat swallowed his words. He’d let his uncle down. He wasn’t sure if Mustapha would ever be able to forgive him. He deserved to be punished for what he’d done.