The Way We Fell

by Mj Fields

  “You just stole my truck, and you’re going to scold me?”

  “That’s always gonna be us, Kendall. I tell you when you’re being stubborn and steal your shit to make sure it’s safe and good enough for you, and you can … I don’t know,”—he laughs—“cook me pancakes and shit.”

  “I’m two seconds from hanging up on you, Wally Cleaver.”

  If I didn’t know he was messing with me, he wouldn’t have gotten one.

  “You make me believe in fairy tales, make me feel a calm I have never felt, and can probably kick my ass at target practice, too, someday.”

  “That’s better. But I want you to know that my truck is paid off and—”

  “I’m sure … like twenty years ago.”

  “Ben!”

  “You’re emotionally attached to a vehicle, I get it. I was with my first dirt bike, too. But now that we’ve sorted us out how about you become emotionally attached to me?”

  “How about you?”

  Huh? I think and palm my face.

  “I left my truck with you, and that’s saying something, little Ross.”

  “What’s it saying?” I ask, needing validation, like a middle schooler.

  “Sayin’ that whatever I have is already yours, including my heart.”

  A smile spreads across my face, and I sigh.

  “Feels good to let go of shit that was never yours to carry, doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah,” I admit.

  “Sweets, I miss you already.”

  When I walk into Tessa and Collin’s, Mom holds her finger to her lips.

  “She sleeping?” I whisper.

  “No, but Thing One and Thing Two are.” Dad walks over and gives me a hug. “You get a new truck?”

  “No.” I roll my eyes. “Apparently, Ben thinks mine isn’t safe.”

  “That truck isn’t unsafe,” Dad huffs.

  “That truck is a farm truck,” Mom scoffs.

  “First truck I ever drove,” I say proudly.

  “And you bought it from old man Smith for two hundred more than he paid me for the damn thing.”

  “You shouldn’t have sold it to begin with. I told you I wanted it, and I would have paid you two hundred dollars more than he did for it.”

  “We gave you your mother’s old car.”

  “And I gave it right back.” I look up at him. “Do I look like a car girl to you?”

  “You look like a girl in love.”

  I look toward the doorway and see Tessa walking out, holding a sippy cup in one hand and rubbing her belly with the other.

  “And you look like a woman who’s supposed to be on bed rest.”

  “She’s refusing to use a bedpan,” Collin says, sounding slightly annoyed.

  She pokes him in the arm. “Look, you, bed rest means rest, feet up, and chill out, not a Posey belt and a catheter.”

  I walk over and hug her. “How are you?”

  “Grateful that I had all of you to watch over the boys when I wasn’t here and bored to death.”

  “Be bored as you use the bathroom then lie on the couch,” Collin insists.

  Tessa sticks her tongue out at him, and he looks seriously confused by it.

  She ignores him. “Come with me.”

  “If you need help—”

  “I need five minutes with my sister, Mr. Abraham.”

  Once in the bathroom, she sits to pee. “Tell me everything.”

  “Not much to tell.” I shrug.

  “Then why are you turning red?”

  I look down.

  “Hey, Kendall, is it because …?” She doesn’t finish her sentence. She doesn’t need to.

  “No, not really.”

  “Okay,” she says as she flushes and stands. “I mean, no, not okay. You’re my baby sister, and I want you to talk about everything with me.”

  “Like you talked about Lucas?”

  She looks in the mirror at me as she washes her hands. “Lucas was different. But maybe, had I talked about it, it would have been easier.”

  “Things with Ben are easy.”

  “I know, but things with Kendall should be, too.” She dries her hands off on the hand towel then sits on the closed toilet lid. “I want you to be able to talk to me.”

  I nod.

  “Oh my God, Kendall, are you happy?” She laughs.

  “Yeah, really happy.”

  “Do you remember at my graduation party when you two sang together?”

  “A million years ago?”

  She nods. “I knew then.”

  “Knew what?”

  “That Ben Sawyer was someday gonna figure out he had it bad for you.”

  “Oh, stop.”

  “Not to bring up the past, but he never looked at me the way he looked at you that night. It was beautiful.”

  I nod, and Tessa laughs.

  “What?”

  “You’re twirling your hair.”

  “Like hell I am.” I totally was.

  “I have waited for so long to see you like this.” She stands, walks over to me, and hugs me really tight. “Ken and Bendall.”

  “What?” I laugh.

  “When you have babies, name them Ken and Bendall.”

  “Oh my God, shut up!”

  A knock at the door has Tessa jumping back and sitting on the toilet.

  “I’m on the toilet, Collin.”

  “It’s me, Phoebe. Is Kendall in there?”

  “Come in and see for yourself,” I say, opening the door.

  “Oh my God, look at you.” Phoebe squeezes my cheeks. “And you already have a baby!”

  “Oh my God, how does she know that you—”

  “Rio. Ben picked her up at the ass-crack of dawn, which totally irritated Alex because truth be told, I think Alex wanted another, but Ben told him that she’s Kendall’s.”

  “He what?” I gasp.

  “Yep, and Alex was all like, she doesn’t need to travel, and Ben was all like, how long do you normally keep a dog in quarantine, and then—”

  “Aw, you have a puppy.” Tessa covers her heart. “Now that’s love.”

  Before I even have a chance to say anything, the bathroom door opens, and Sarah walks in. Her face is red, which happens when she’s emotional or stressed.

  “Sorry.” She scratches her neck—another quirk of hers.

  I grab her hands. “You’ll get blotchy.”

  “Like the prom,” she groans.

  “All these years later, and you still remember that?” Phoebe asks. “You poor dear.”

  “Traumatic, to say the least.” She starts to scratch again.

  Another knock.

  “Tessa Ann Abraham!”

  “Collin John Abraham?” Tessa says in a deep voice.

  I open the door.

  She points at the toilet. “Sitting.”

  “Excuse me.” He squeezes past us, bends down, and starts to pick her up.

  “Um, really?”

  He doesn’t say a word; he just picks her up, and we all part like the Red Sea.

  “Say goodbye.”

  “Don’t be rude,” Tessa whisper-hisses at him.

  “I said, say goodbye. I didn’t tell them get—”

  “Don’t you dare,” she interrupts him.

  Once they’re down the hall, we all giggle. Yes, giggle. Each and every one of us loves that she ended up finding a man who could match her in strength and resolve. One that talks the talk and walks the walk.

  “You girls want to come down to the farm and get in the hot tub?” Phoebe asks.

  “You’re pregnant; you can’t do the hot tub thing,” Alex says from just outside the door.

  “They’re like dogs; when one is trying to assert dominance, they all follow suit,” Phoebe whispers.

  “Tessa needs some rest, so do you.”

  Phoebe peeks out and whispers too loudly to be an actual whisper, “Alex Ross, I’m fine. I’m talking. They can get in the hot tub, and I can soak my feet while they do.”
/>   “We’re tired and need a nap,” he replies.

  “Then how about you take our son home and take a nap? Kendall or Sarah will see I get home when—” She stops talking and, after a brief pause, laughs out, “You serious?”

  “Wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t.”

  “Good Lord, Alex. I have to pee. Give me a few minutes, would you?”

  She shuts the door then walks to the toilet, lifts the lid, pulls up her cute little prego sundress and sits.

  “So help me God, Ben ever acts like that to me, I’ll run,” I hiss. “Why do you put up with that? And yes, I realize they’re my brothers.”

  “Put up with it?” Sarah smiles. “No, it’s not like that.”

  “It seems just like that.”

  Phoebe laughs.

  “What?”

  She shrugs. “Your Ben interrupted a moment this morning, and because of that, Alex is grumpy.”

  “Go get yours.” Sarah laughs, and I look at her. “If he’s anything like Jake, she’s a lucky woman.”

  “I have no desire to know any more about the sexual lives of anyone in general, but especially of anyone in the Ross family.”

  As I start to walk out, Sarah steps in front of me. “I promise not to talk about how amazing it is to be loved by Jake if you help me out.”

  22

  Daddy’s Hands

  Ben

  “We’re home,” I announce as I walk through the double doors of the main entrance of our house.

  “We?” I hear Mom laugh from the kitchen. “Did you kidnap the lovely Kendall?”

  “Brace yourself, Mom; I’ve got even bigger news,” I say as I watch Rio limp as she looks around the house. “We had a puppy.”

  “A what?” She laughs as she walks out, drying her hands on her “Kiss Me I’m Irish” apron. “Oh, well … Oh my. Is that—”

  “Kendall and I had a puppy.” I laugh as I sit down while Rio attempts to hide behind me. “Rio, this is Mom. Mom, this is Rio, your grand-dog.”

  Mom squats down and holds her hand out. “Does Rio like treats?”

  “I’m gonna have to go get some, but thought I’d get her accustomed to the kennel in the barn before …” I stop when Mom opens her hand and see she’s holding treats.

  “How old are those things?”

  “Bought them last night when I opened the mail and Maggie sent me the article with the picture of you, Kendall, and this beauty.”

  “The article?” I laugh.

  She looks up. “You didn’t see it?”

  “You’re not joking?”

  “Of course not.” She reaches in her apron pocket and pulls out another treat.

  “How the hell did something that happened three days ago—”

  “Four. And it’s big news in Blue Valley.” She pats Rio’s head and stands up. “I knew you’d be bringing her home. Red’s been gone four years; it’s about time we have another pup around here.”

  “I’ve missed you, Mom.”

  “I’ve missed you, too, Benjamin.”

  When she gives me an extra-long hug, I squeeze her a little bit tighter. “How’s Dad?”

  “Oh, you know.”

  Stepping back, I squat down. “Mom, I’m not a stupid boy anymore.”

  “You never were, Benjamin.”

  “Then talk to me.” I take her hands and give them a light squeeze. “Talk to me.”

  “He’s angry,” she says through the smile that rarely leaves her face, even in times like this.

  “Over a broken arm, Mom?”

  She leans left, and her smile broadens. “I think maybe Rio needs to go out.”

  “Oh shit.” I laugh. “Come on, girl. You, too, Mom.”

  Outside, we walk down the dirt road toward the barn. Rio has a little more pep in her step and is sniffing around.

  “Tell me about your weekend.”

  “Got a taste of my future, and it was better than backstrap.”

  “Aw, that’s perfect.” She laughs lightly. “Shall we put that on your wedding invitation? Kendall Ross and Benjamin Sawyer are getting hitched because she’s better than backstrap.”

  “She’s better than anything, Mom. She’s it.”

  “Does she feel the same?”

  “I’m here, aren’t I? No arrests. No body hidden in the truck.”

  “I know we’ve always been open and honest about everything, Ben, but please, for the love of God, do not give me details.”

  “She’s a virgin.”

  “Still?”

  I love that she tells me that she doesn’t want any information yet asks.

  “Until she gets married.”

  “So, those invitations going out tomorrow?” Mom laughs.

  “She won’t get married until she graduates college.”

  Her smile falls.

  “So, yeah, there’s that.”

  “If you love her, then—”

  “Gonna wanna add lotion to the grocery list.”

  I slide the doors open to the barn and see the wagons full of hay.

  “Dad was worried about the weather. Uncle Mike got everything in he could.”

  “Any of the hay moving this week?”

  “Well …” Mom sighs.

  “Not giving the shit away,” my dad calls from behind me. “Whose dog’s this?”

  Mom’s smile is back in place as she walks over and squats down, petting Rio, and looking up at him. “Ben and Kendall had a puppy.”

  “Why’s it broke?” His eyes narrow at her; then he looks away.

  “The article I told you about. The one—”

  Dad walks by her and looks at me. “You think you can get the back eighty in this week?”

  “Dad”—I force a laugh—“Mom was talking to you.”

  He turns and looks at me, saying not a damn word. I widen my eyes at him and glance her way.

  She stands up and straightens her apron, smile gone, replaced by the saddest look I’ve ever seen covering her aged but beautiful face. It pisses me off.

  “Dad, my mother, your wife, was talking to you. From what I remember, as a kid, I was taught by you to treat a lady with respect and—”

  “It’s okay, Ben. Dad’s been—”

  “A dick.”

  “Benjamin, that’s—”

  “Mom, he hasn’t said shit to me since I got home, except hay, beans, corn, rain. I get he’s pissed at me—hell, I’ve accepted it—but no way should you have to.”

  “Needs to be done; rain’s going to come in—”

  “Fuck the rain!”

  “Ben, that’s enough!”

  She’s never yelled at me. Never.

  When Dad starts walking away, anger overtakes me.

  “Don’t walk away from me! I have been busting my ass here to make you treat me with a little bit of respect, and you—”

  “Ben, please!” Mom cries while Dad stops.

  I walk around in front of him, taking the opportunity to … I don’t know, talk some fucking sense into him or some shit.

  He glares at me. “Look what you’ve done.”

  “Me?” I laugh, humorously. “I don’t even know you two anymore.”

  When I turn to walk the fuck away, Dad grabs me.

  Pissed, I turn and push his hand off me, and I realize belatedly it’s the broken arm. I also realize he doesn’t even flinch. His arm’s in a sling, not a cast, and clearly not broken

  “What the hell is this?” I motion to his arm. “A joke?”

  “Frank,” Mom whispers.

  He looks at her and scowls. “No.”

  “I had a life there, you know. I was doing what I dreamed of doing, too. I came home for you!” I point at him. “And you treat me like this? Treat her like this?”

  A muffled sob escapes Mom, and it’s like a punch to the gut and not the kind you can flex and be ready for.

  “Let’s go, Rio,” I yell from over my shoulder as I walk toward the door.

  “Where are you going?” Mom cries.

&nbs
p; “I’ll get the damn hay in, but then, I swear to God, we’re gone. Come on, Rio!”

  Storming toward Kendall’s truck, I turn back but don’t see Rio on my heels. I turn, ready to storm back and grab her, when I see her sitting beside my parents. Dad is hugging Mom, his eyes closed, his lips on top of her head.

  Tears prick my eyes as I turn back and hurry toward Kendall’s truck. Once inside, I lose my shit.

  By nightfall, I’ve managed to get all the hay done. Three hundred bales in thirteen hours, only stopping every four hours to check on Rio, who is doped up on meds that Alex gave me.

  When all the wagons are in the barn, I hop off the tractor and realize how dark it is already.

  I open the door to the studio, where Rio has been chilling in a soundproof, air-conditioned room. On the floor next to the cot, I spot Red’s old bowls. One is half full of water, and there’s a bag of dog food next to the empty food bowl.

  I see my phone on the charger and grab it. Kendall called seven times.

  “Fuck,” I say, looking at the time and seeing it’s after nine.

  I call her back, and when she answers, I say, “Sweets, I’m so sorry. I just got the wagons pulled in and—”

  “I’m not being needy or one of those oh-my-God-why-hasn’t-he-called kind of girls, but seriously, Ben, why haven’t you called? I messaged, like, five times.”

  “Seven.”

  “Ugh …” She sighs.

  “Christ, I miss you.”

  “It’s only been, like, fifteen hours; you can’t miss me already.” I hear the sarcasm and a smile in her voice.

  “You miss me, too, or you wouldn’t call seven times.”

  “Messaged seven times. Called once.”

  I sit down on the cot and toe-off my chaff-filled boots. “Tell me about your day.”

  She sighs. “It’s been one of the worst days of my life.”

  “Sweets, what happened?” I start to panic.

  “I woke up to find out I was abandoned.”

  I take my hat off and shake the hay dust off it.

  “Then my truck was stolen. Oh, and my dog got taken.”

  Pulling my shirt over my head, I laugh. “Whose dog?”

  “My dog.”

  “Little Ross, I named her, so she’s mine.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yeah.” I lie back. “It’s a law or some shit.”