Death on the Danube

by Jennifer S. Alderson

  Before Lana could pick up her bag, a bellboy grabbed it and lugged it to the gold-plated elevator doors. She followed along, speechless, totally unaccustomed to being waited on. When he opened her door for her, Lana had to pinch herself from shrieking in delight.

  Through the floor-to-ceiling windows, she could see the Danube River snaking through the heart of the busy cosmopolitan. Through open French doors, she spotted a queen-size bed with antique armoires on either side. In the adjoining bathroom was the largest bubble bath Lana had ever seen. It was big enough for two, she mused, automatically wondering what Ron would think of the place. Pretty much every hotel room they stayed in as a couple was as big as this suite’s bathroom. As tempting as it was to send a photo of this to Ron, she resisted. Their days of sharing a bubble bath were over.

  Right now, it hurt to even think about Ron. Mutual friends had let it slip that he was in Aruba for the holidays with his new lover. Ron had always promised to take her to the Caribbean, but they’d never had the time or money to do so. And now, six months into a post-divorce relationship, he was treating his new girlfriend to the trip he’d promised Lana for years. She squeezed her eyes shut and took in a deep, cleansing breath. Forgot about Ron, Lana told herself, you’re in Budapest! Enjoy it!

  The bellboy cleared his throat, interrupting her thoughts. He was standing next to the door, waiting. Lana turned away and pulled her money belt out of her pants again, glad Dotty had given her an ample supply of euros. Unsure as to how much he’d expect, she pulled out a ten-euro note and handed it to him with a small bow.

  Based on how brightly his eyes shone, Lana realized she had given him too much. Chalk it up to experience. She wondered whether she was supposed to keep receipts for Dotty. Too late – the bellboy was already in the elevator.

  Her new suitcase was on the bed. Lana stroked the leather surface and chipped stickers of Tahiti, Paris, South Africa, New Zealand, and Peru, stuck on by a previous owner. She couldn’t bring herself to remove them, despite their ragged appearance. Perhaps one day she would fill the sides with pictograms of her own journeys – if she enjoyed this one enough to want to escort a tour group again, that is. Leading a half-day kayaking tour was a whole different kettle of fish than being on-call for seven to fourteen days. At least this time she was just filling in for the last six days. Lana figured the guests knew each other well by now, and Carl must have a good idea of who needed the most hand-holding. She hoped she would have enough patience to deal with every problem amicably. Thoughts of her empty bank account reminded her to be on her best behavior.

  Lana looked around the room, then sprung onto the leather couch. She could get used to living like this. As she stroked the soft leather, she tried to temper her excitement. She knew she was only here because Dotty was desperate and she was the only one available. The thought made her giggle. This would probably be the only time she would ever be thankful for being divorced and alone during the holidays. Well, not entirely alone; there was Seymour.

  Overcome with emotion, Lana opened her iPad and checked the time in Seattle. It was just after midnight. She’d risk it. Lana clicked on FaceTime and crossed her fingers.

  After the second ring, Dotty answered, “Hello, Lana! Are you in Budapest?”

  “I am, and thank you! Wow, what a luxurious hotel. Now I’m really looking forward to the rest of the trip.”

  “I do love to pamper my guests and guides. Do yourself a favor and check out the hotel’s spa later. It’s not as big as the more famous ones, but is delightful. Especially after such a long flight. Oh, ask if Pallav still gives massages. He’s the best.”

  Before Lana could respond, Seymour sprung onto Dotty’s lap and stared into the camera. He was wearing the ugliest sweater Lana had ever seen. A snowman with whiskers and cat ears circled his body in bright shades of green and red.

  Lana ticked on the screen. “Seymour, buddy! Oh, I miss you already.”

  He nuzzled the phone, his purr deafeningly loud. Dotty scratched behind his ears.

  “What are you wearing, Seymour? You look handsome.”

  “Isn’t it adorable? It only took two cat treats to get it on him. It’s part of a new ugly Christmas sweaters line I’m thinking of introducing next year. I figure adults can wear them, so why not our pets?”

  “Seymour, honey, I’ll have to dress you up more often – with Dotty’s help.” Seymour’s purrs increased in intensity, and he turned to Dotty, pushing his head into her hand.

  “If you like this, wait to see what I knitted for the boys.” Dotty patted her knee, and Rodney and Chipper tore over to her. She turned the phone so Lana could better see her dogs’ outfits. Rodney sported a sweater featuring a dog Santa, and Chipper’s featured two reindeers with droopy dog ears and antlers. “I bet they’re going to sell like hotcakes!”

  Lana wondered whether anyone ate hotcakes anymore. “They’re adorably ugly,” she said sincerely.

  Dotty shone with pride. “I’m especially proud of the reindeer doggies. What do you think? They did take quite a long time to knit. I miss Sally already. She’s so much better at knitting details than I am.”

  They might not have been Lana’s cup of tea, but she could tell Dotty had worked hard on them. “They’re great. And I bet they will fly out of the store next Christmas. Another win, Dotty.”

  Dotty smiled in satisfaction. “So, you didn’t call to hear about my knitting projects. What can I do for you, Lana? Are you settling in well?”

  “I just arrived. The hotel is gorgeous. I feel like an intruder who’s going to be kicked out at any moment.”

  Dotty snorted. “At the rates I pay, they wouldn’t dare. No, the hotel’s owner is an old friend. I know they’ll treat you right.”

  “That’s good to know. According to the receptionist, all of the guests have arrived, including Sally.”

  “Ooh, how are the lovebirds? Is Carl pleased to not be alone for the holidays?”

  Lana smirked.

  “Sorry, dear.”

  “I honestly don’t know. I haven’t seen him or the other guests yet. That’s why I was calling. Should I go knock on their doors and introduce myself?”

  “Goodness, no. Let them be for now and get yourself settled. Officially the Budapest leg of the tour commences with the welcome dinner. You’ll have plenty of time to chat with them then.”

  “Great.” Lana said, sighing in relief. Dotty had explained in detail what her role as tour escort entailed during the group’s excursions, but Lana hadn’t thought to ask about the arrival.

  “You go enjoy the afternoon. You’re doing me such a big favor just by being there. Without your help, I might have had to cancel the last part of this tour and refund everyone’s money. In fact, have a massage on me.”

  “Thanks again, Dotty.” Seymour laid his paw on the screen, partially covering the camera. “I miss you both.” The words caught in her throat. The truth was, as glad as she was to be here, she had never felt so alone.

  Dotty tried unsuccessfully to cover a yawn with her hand. Seymour laid his head in her lap and purred contentedly. “Well, sweetie, it’s after midnight, and my bed is calling. We love and miss you, too. But what an adventure you are about to have! You make the most of it, you hear me? I want you to have the trip of a lifetime. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

  “Thanks, Dotty. Sleep well.”

  5 Skinny Dippers and Lovebirds

  As tempting as it was to explore the city on her own before the dinner, Dotty’s mention of a spa in the hotel solidified Lana’s plan for the afternoon. After that long flight, relaxing in a sauna or whirlpool sounded like heaven.

  On the back of her bathroom door was a wonderfully soft terry cloth bathrobe. Luckily Dotty had warned her about the tour’s visit to Széchenyi Spa, otherwise she wouldn’t have thought to bring a swimsuit on a winter trip to eastern Europe. She tied the rope around her waist as tight as she could, then followed the signs to the sauna below. As soon as she entered the space, the humidity hi
t her in the face. Her skin’s pores seemed to open automatically as she breathed in the lavender-scented air.

  There was a changing room with lockers on her left. Lana placed her robe and room key into one, before grabbing one of the plush towels from a hamper by the door. Several lockers appeared to be in use, but she didn’t hear anyone chatting, only soft classical music coming from a small speaker above the door. The hallway was a rectangle with six closed doors; on each was a sign listing its purpose: Finnish sauna, whirlpool, steam room, foot scrub, cold tub, and swimming pool. Lana considered briefly where to start, before choosing a quick swim to stretch her muscles. Afterwards she could relax in the whirlpool.

  When she pushed open the door, a woman screamed and Lana saw a flash of skin as the lean stranger ran to cover herself with a towel. Lana turned away so the woman could pull on a swimming suit, gazing up at the murals of bathing goddesses adorning the vaulted ceiling.

  “Geez, you really gave me a fright!” The stranger chuckled nervously.

  When Lana looked at the woman again, she was wearing a bikini that left nothing to the imagination. She was younger and prettier than Lana, but her face seemed harder somehow, edgier. Her long black hair and sharp bangs reminded Lana of Bettie Page. She hoped that this young woman was not one of the guests on her tour. “Oh, sorry, I uh…” Lana didn’t know what to say to the skinny-dipper.

  The girl wrapped a towel around herself and speed-walked towards the exit without saying another word.

  “Wait, you don’t have to leave on account of me,” Lana called out half-heartedly, but it was too late. The stranger was already gone.

  Lana briefly wondered whether she’d already gotten off badly with a tour guest, but quickly decided it didn’t matter. What did matter was that she now had the pool to herself. Lana dropped her towel onto a chair and dove in, crisscrossing the small pool until she was dizzy and her muscles were aching.

  Feeling satisfied with herself for having worked out on her first day of vacation, Lana climbed out of the pool and lay out on a reclining chair until her swimming suit stopped dripping. Lana couldn’t remember the last time she had been on a real vacation. All of her trips with Ron had been work-related, and they’d never had time to stop and see the local sights. What a waste, she thought, glad that this job gave her the chance to vacation as the rich did. So far, it was pretty fabulous. She stretched her arms above her head, feeling her muscles burning. It was time to check out the other spaces.

  Lana pulled open the door marked “whirlpool,” her muscles already relaxing in anticipation. The bubbling pool filled the small room, its jets already on high. The walls were adorned with the most colorful tiles Lana had ever seen. Steam rose from the water, as well as giggles.

  “Excuse me, this pool is occupied.” A man’s voice rang through the tiled space.

  Lana was so intrigued by the walls, she hadn’t noticed the couple in the whirlpool. Based on their embrace, Lana was interrupting more than a dip in the water.

  “Oh, of course, I’ll just be leaving now…” Lana backed out of the space, embarrassed for interrupting them. Only after she entered the Finnish sauna did she realize that the rooms were meant to accommodate several hotel guests at a time, not just one or two. Though part of her wanted to be snide and spring into the whirlpool anyway, she had no desire to share it with a couple making out a few feet away.

  Lana hoped that the guests on her tour weren’t the lovey-dovey kind. She couldn’t take many public displays of affection without crying, she reckoned.

  As the hot air penetrated her skin, Lana thought back on the thin folder of information Dotty had given her about her guests – a list of names and passport numbers, but no photographs. Eight had come over with Carl from Prague and arrived at the hotel a few hours before she did. A group of widowed ladies in their seventies was making its annual pilgrimage to the spas and Christmas markets that Europe was famous for. Dotty said they were regulars of her tours and quite particular about the age of their guides. After a younger guide had them racing around the streets of London, they demanded a leader who was more accommodating to their hip replacements and desire to buy many souvenirs.

  Which was what had led to Dotty’s strangest request. To Lana’s chagrin, if any of the guests asked her age, she had to lie and tell them that she was fifty years old. For a thirty-seven-year-old recent divorceé, this was a painful decision. However, the chance to live rent-free for three months and see some of Europe made her swallow her pride and accept Dotty’s proposal with grace. And who knew? If she enjoyed the work, maybe Dotty would pay her to lead another tour. Hopefully next time, she wouldn’t have to lie about her age or color her hair gray.

  Another couple Dotty had warned her about were the Hendersons. They were the oldest regulars of Wanderlust Tours and good friends of Dotty’s fifth husband. They loved to be pampered while seeing the world and refused to let the fact that they were in their nineties stand in their way. Though they insisted on being treated as every other guest, Dotty had already asked Lana to keep an eye on them during the trip.

  Another guest was a single woman, only twenty-four years old. Dotty said the young woman was a waitress at a local café and had received this trip as a Christmas present from her mother. Great mother, Lana thought, wondering whether her own would ever consider giving the gift of travel. Lana doubted that her mother even knew she had once dreamed of traveling around the world. Not to knock Gillian, but her mother had never bought that line about becoming friends with your children. Gillian was always ready with advice about Lana’s posture, diet, career choices, and dates, but she had never gotten to know her daughter as a person.

  Their relationship did improve dramatically after Lana won her second award for excellence in journalism. But since Lana got fired ten years ago, they’d rarely spoken. When they did, their conversations left Lana feeling like a loser.

  Marrying a magician in the aftermath of her firing probably hadn’t helped matters. Not that she’d planned it that way. After the newspaper let her go, Lana had trouble finding work. Months of searching had ended with a gig as a box office ticket attendant at a local theater. During an open-mic nights, she’d met Ron.

  Ron made her feel special in a way no other man had before. She had never really been fond of magic, but was amazed every time he pulled a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve or made her wedding ring hover above her hand. And at that time in her life, she’d needed to feel special. Her career as a journalist, her passion in life, was taken away from her with the single blow of a judge’s gavel. Her heart and mind were so damaged, and Ron offered her entrance into a colorful, new world. One she never regretted becoming a part of. They had enjoyed nine wonderful years of marriage, and Lana loved performing in shows across the country as his assistant. If only she hadn’t twisted her shoulder while crawling out of that water-filled tank, she might still be happy and married to The Great Ronaldo. But no, her replacement had stolen his heart during their first, month-long tour. Ron was so smitten, he had the gall to send her a text message, instead of waiting to tell her face to face that he was in love with another. Nine years of marriage destroyed in a few hundred characters. Despite the pain she felt every time she read it, Lana couldn’t bring herself to delete Ron’s declaration of independence.

  Lana closed her eyes and sucked up her breath. Ron was ancient history. She rose and splashed two scoops of water onto the rocks, reveling in the hissing sound as the hot steam filled the air. Lana inhaled deeply, feeling the burn as it traveled in and out of her lungs.

  Two more guests were last-minute additions, a husband and wife to whom Dotty had given a seventy-five percent discount because they were literally taking the places of the two injured guests. According to Dotty, the husband was an acquaintance of Carl’s who seemed extremely keen to spend time with him. When she offered him the tour tickets at a significant discount, he had jumped at the chance. Dotty was thrilled. Not only was she able to cover her costs, but she was also c
onvinced they were a shoo-in for a five-star review. The man and his wife were supposedly on the same plane she was, but there were no couples on the shuttle bus.

  Lana smiled when she reached the last name on her mental list, another last-minute addition. Sally Simmons was a good friend of Dotty’s and one of the sweetest people Lana had ever met. She was homely and rather forgetful, but a wonderful conversationalist and a darling of a lady, one Lana enjoyed chatting with at Dotty’s many holiday bashes. As of late, Sally was becoming a more frequent visitor as she was knitting doggie sweaters to help Dotty keep up with the growing demand.

  Apparently Sally’s presence on this trip was a surprise present to Carl, her boyfriend of nine months. Sally had been astonished and delighted when Carl, fifteen years her junior, asked her out on a date after they met at one of Dotty’s parties. Lana couldn’t figure out why Carl had asked her out, until she learned that Sally was one of the richest widows in Seattle.

  Dotty had confided to Lana that Sally was notoriously bad with men, usually overwhelming them with so much attention they ran away screaming. After she and Carl started dating, Dotty counseled her friend to be less needy. Dotty knew Carl wasn’t the type of man you wanted to smother. Yet Sally had such a difficult time at Christmas without him, Dotty had sent her to Budapest to be with him for rest of the holidays.

  Lana had also met Carl at Dotty’s parties and was one of the few women on the planet who didn’t fall for his charms. She still didn’t understand what Sally saw in Carl – well, besides the obvious. Admittedly, the tour guide was tall, sexy, and charming, but he could also be self-absorbed and manipulative. In an unguarded moment, Dotty had told her that she had met Carl when he was down on his luck in a casino. Dotty ended up lending him money so he could leave without having his legs broken. She had offered him a deal similar to Lana’s: to work off his debt as a tour guide. Though he took the job begrudgingly, Carl turned out to have a flair for organization and stayed on as an employee after he’d repaid his debt.