His Protective Wings
Page 7
Ruth stood on the bank, looking across at a broad plain extending to the tree line. A few elk grazed in the meadow. A hawk soared overhead. “This is a wonderful view. Every time I clean I look out the window and see wildlife there or coming to drink.”
Massot came to stand beside her. He reached out slowly and took her hand. “Ruth, how would you like to see this view every day?” Her hand started trembling in his. He hoped it was because she was anticipating his next question. He touched her cheek with his fingertips. “Ruth, you’ve come to mean so much to me. You and Kathryn. I’ve gone to see the committee. They are in favor of my coming to you. I’ve got the means to support you and your daughter as well as any children we might have.”
Ruth’s cheeks paled. She pressed her free hand to her stomach.
“Will you allow me to court you?” Massot took in a breath, waiting for her answer. When he saw tears flood her eyes, his heart sank.
“Oh, Massot. I don’t know. I…” she pulled her hand from his and turned away, walking along the edge of the creek. Ruth stared at the water gurgling by.
He followed and stood beside her. “I can support you. I’ll take you to the bank and show you my balance.
“I’m not concerned about that. You work hard and always will. It’s me. Just me.”
Massot waited, allowing her time to think. He prayed that she wouldn’t reject him totally. All he wanted was a chance. A chance to court her. To show her what he felt for her. How he would provide for and love both her and Kathryn.
Ruth’s gloved hands wiped at her cheeks before she turned to him, twisting her fingers together. “Massot, you are such a wonderful man. You are giving, faithful, wonderful to be around. You’ve shown me and Kathryn such friendship and caring. I don’t want to hurt you in any way. I…” She paused and inhaled, letting the breath out slowly. “You don’t know about my background, do you?”
“It doesn’t matter, Ruth. Nothing matters but that I care for you. That I’m wanting you for my wife. For Kathryn to be my daughter. I promise I can support you. I’ve…”
Ruth held up her hand stopping his words. “It’s nothing about you. You are wonderful. It’s me, what happened to me when I was seventeen.” She approached and took his hand. “I don’t know if I can be the wife you deserve. A complete wife in every way.”
Massot started to speak but she shushed him again.
“When I was young I was very naïve. I didn’t pay attention to anything but what I was interested in. I wandered around my hometown not aware of anyone. A prominent businessman began watching me. He told me so after.” Her voice became softer, weaker. “One day, he followed me and was able to grab me from the path and,” Ruth swallowed, and cleared her throat. “He… he … he…”
Massot placed his fingers on her lips. “And you had Kathryn.” There was no reason for her to have to say the words. Tears were streaming down her face. Her hand was trembling in his.
“No one believed me. My parents kicked me out. I didn’t know what to do. I walked away from my home into the country. I slept in barns as I went. I had no idea where I was going. I bartered for food. I’d clean houses, chicken coops, cattle or horse stalls. Anything so I’d have some food.
“Then Nugget Nate and Penny came along. They took me to Sanctuary Place. I gave birth to Kathryn there. We lived there until we came to Stones Creek. I wasn’t sure I should come. I don’t know if I can be a wife. It was terrible.”
Massot gently, slowly drew her to him and hugged her against his chest. “I’m so sorry you went through that. I suspected something like that happened. It makes no difference to me.” He dug in his back pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. He tucked it into her hand.
“Don’t you see? If I can’t be a wife in all ways, it’s not right for me to allow you to court me. Libby or Blanche don’t have the same issues that I have.”
Massot tipped her chin up. “I don’t want Libby or Blanche. I want you. You as my wife. Please let me court you. Let us get to know each other with this intent. If it comes that you can’t see me as a husband…” He paused. “Well, I’ll respect your wishes. Please, just give me a chance.”
Ruth was silent for a long time. She stood trembling in the circle of his arms. They fit together so well. His chin could rest on the top of her head. That she was afraid was evident. Massot wished he could do or say something that would take all the fear and memories away. Please Lord, help me help Ruth. She’s so alone, even with the Ladies and children. I don’t think she’s ever had anyone to protect her. I understand that what she went through would leave her afraid of men. I want her as my wife. Want to have children with her. Want to raise Kathryn as mine. Please ease her fear. Help me be the one she can be a wife to.
Ruth tipped her head back and searched his face. “I’ll try. If there is any man I trust, it’s you. I don’t know how long it will take, and I may never feel safe enough, but I’m willing to be courted.”
“Thank you. I promise I won’t press you. I may ask you occasionally for a decision, but never will I force you in any way.” Massot’s gaze went back and forth between her eyes. “May I?”
It took a moment for Ruth to understand his question. Red bloomed on her cheeks. Closing her eyes, she nodded.
Softly, gently Massot lowered his lips to hers. He kept the kiss light. He didn’t want to do anything that might scare her. That might bring back painful memories. When she relaxed against his chest, the uncertainty eased. The tight band around his heart loosened.
~~~~~
Ruth was distracted the entire time she cleaned Massot’s house after he left. The thought of having Massot as a husband was both fascinating and terrifying. He was exactly the type of man she’d want as a spouse; caring, solid, hardworking, dependable. She was attracted to him. Now that he’d made her aware of his intent to court her, unaccustomed desire flared in her middle. Several times she pressed her hands to her belly hoping to still it.
That desire also terrified her. Visions of the man who’d accosted her broke through. The feel of his hands. The pressure of him on top of her. The pain. The laughter as he told of how he’d followed and watched her over the weeks, then walked away, leaving her to pull herself together and go home.
The derision and hateful names her family called her when she told them. The fear that consumed her as she carried a satchel with what they’d allowed her to take when she was forced to leave. Each attacked her mind as she worked. Several times she had to stop cleaning because her hands shook so badly.
Ruth walked slowly back to town, stopping at the edge of the woods. Libby was outside with the twins and Nina. Tadpole sat on the steps, looking bored. The broken arm limited his activities. She was able to keep him at his studies longer.
What was she going to tell the Ladies and children? Especially Kathryn. Her daughter would leap on the idea of her and Massot getting married. Ruth didn’t want to tell her, but since Massot would be coming to the House for courting there was no way to keep it from her.
Lunch needed making and Boone and Mae needed their lessons checked. Ruth couldn’t delay any longer. She passed the garden and crossed the street. Nina came running to be picked up and hugged, the twins trailing behind. Tadpole stood up waiting for her. She ruffled his hair.
“I’m bored. I can’t do nothin’ with his dumb cast.” He followed her into the house while Libby herded the twins and Nina.
“Your right arm is perfectly good. We’ll do lessons then you can do some weeding this afternoon. Then the others will be home from school by then and you’ll have someone to play with. Boone and Mae can weed with you.”
“Aww. Weeding’s boring too.”
“Maybe so, but you want to eat so the garden needs to be weeded. It won’t be long before we have radishes and lettuce. Then the peas will be coming on. Brussels sprouts, cabbage, broccoli, they won’t be long behind.”
“Ain’t got a clue what most of them are. Other kids say they ain’t worth eatin’ anyway.” Tadpole
shuffled into the wash room to wash before he set the table. He’d found out that having a broken arm didn’t exempt him from his normal chores.
Ruth chuckled as he went past her. Soon school would be out for the summer. Several of the boys were around his age and would be available to play with during the day. All the children living in the House who were old enough would be weeding to share the unwelcome chore. Others whose mothers had married would be around also and would help. They wanted to share in the bounty of the House’s garden.
Once lunch was over and the little ones put down for naps, Ruth set Tadpole in the room they used as a classroom copying words onto his slate. He was to bring each filled slate for her to check the spelling and penmanship.
Ruth and Libby were in the kitchen when Blanche came in. She sat down at the table and Libby set a cup of coffee in front of her.
“Thank you. My feet hurt. It was a busy day. Almeda’s boy, Abe, is sick so she couldn’t come to work today. She came in at regular time and did what baking she could, then went home. Thomas stayed with the baby until then. Chloe and I have covered both the bakery and café all morning. Chloe’s going to do some of tomorrow’s baking this afternoon. That way if the baby is still sick Almeda doesn’t have to come in.”
Ruth patted Blanche on the shoulder as she moved to another chair with her own coffee cup. Libby finished the supper preparations she was doing, then came and sat with them. Unsure of how to bring up Massot’s interest, Ruth listened as her friends chatted.
Laura Duffle came in with a load of laundry. “I decided I wanted to visit with you ladies and iron here instead of in my wash room.” Laura was engaged to Hank Johnson the town’s barber. She took in laundry as her work. Hank had made one of the back rooms in his shop into a wash room and another for drying. This allowed Laura to do laundry inside when the weather was cold or damp.
“We’re glad you did,” Blanche said. “Sit and chat and have a cup of coffee before you begin.”
Ruth was quiet as the Ladies conversed. It was a while before anyone noticed, but when she didn’t laugh at Libby’s description of one of Jack’s antics they all looked at her.
“What has you so distracted?” Laura asked.
Ruth wrapped her hands around her coffee mug. “Massot asked to court me today.”
Each Lady smiled and expressed their delight over the prospect. When they saw her serious expression Blanche placed her hand on Ruth’s arm. “He’s a good man. What has you so worried?”
Looking at the faces of each of her friends, Ruth took a deep breath. “You all know my past. Since that day I’ve not wanted to be with a man again. It was awful. Even now, sometimes I wake up at night thinking he’s on me. Hurting me.”
“Massot would never hurt you,” Libby said.
“I know. It’s not him. It’s me. He’s a wonderful man. So caring and giving. He helped Kathryn make my glove box. He is careful never to do anything that would scare me. He’s helped in the garden. He helps so many other people in town without asking for anything or mentioning it. Tadpole loves being around him and Massot tolerates him.” Ruth smiled and looked down.
“I’m afraid, not of him, but of me. I’m not sure I can be a true wife to him. Afraid every time he touched me I’d think of that man.”
“So what are you going to do?” Laura poured more coffee for each of them.
“I told him he could come and court me. He said he’d never press me. He’d let me take as long as I need to decide.” She remembered their last moments and could feel her cheeks heat.
“Oh, Ruth. You’re blushing.” Libby grinned. “What happened to make you blush?”
Ruth pursed her lips and felt herself become even redder. “He hugged me and kissed me when I said he could.”
The other ladies were all grinning. “And you liked it?” Laura asked.
Ruth gave a little nod. “It was so gentle. I wasn’t at all afraid.” She paused. “I liked it.”
Smiles stretched the mouths of all three of her friends. She realized they had all been married. Had had loving relationships with their husbands. They knew the joys of the physical side of marriage.
“Am I being foolish to be afraid?”
“It’s quite understandable, Ruth,” Blanche said. “You went through a terrible experience. One no woman should go through and at such a tender age. You’ve been protected and out of the sphere of men for years. It’s natural for you to be cautious.
“Let Massot court you. Get used to his being with you and touching you, though not too much. I think you’ll see your fear fade. Give yourself time and the opportunity to find that you can look forward to being his wife.
“Take all the time you need. If you have questions, ask any of us. If you become uneasy with something, tell Massot. We’ll help you understand and I know he’ll do whatever he can to ease your fears.”
Ruth nodded. It was a good plan. The tightness in her chest released just a little.
“What are you going to tell Kathryn?” Libby asked.
“I’m going to tell her the truth. That Massot asked to court me, that I’m afraid, but I’m going to be courted. My biggest fear in telling her is that she’ll latch onto the idea and begin badgering me to decide to marry him. I know she would love to have him as her father. Then if I don’t she’ll be so disappointed. But I have to tell her. He’s going to be coming around and we’ll do things together, all three of us.”
“There’s no hiding being courted around here,” Laura said.
“No, there’s definitely not. It will be around town too, as soon as the children find out. They blab everything.” Everyone laughed at Libby’s disgruntled tone. “Then I’ll hear about it and be asked about it at the general store. Why not just have it announced at church so most people hear it from Noah. Then they won’t have a chance to gossip at me about it.”
Ruth grinned and reached across the table. “I’m sorry to be such a terrible problem for you. Shall I ask Ben to raise your wage to cover the distress the biddies of the town cause you?”
More laughter greeted Tadpole as he came into the kitchen with his slate.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing to concern you,” Ruth ruffled his hair.
“Aww, grownups always say that about the good stuff.”
~~~~~
Later that evening, Ruth sat behind Kathryn on her bed, brushing her hair. The girl was in her nightgown. They were alone in the room. Mae, who slept in the same room, was in the bathtub.
She’d fallen in a mud puddle after supper, getting not only her clothing dirty but mud had splashed into her face and in her hair. The poor girl, who didn’t speak, had cried so hard. Blanche finally understood that Mae was worried about her dress. She was afraid, not only that she would get in trouble for being so dirty but also that the dress wouldn’t come clean.
Ozzie Basking, Blanche’s thirteen-year-old son, finally convinced her she wasn’t in trouble. That these things happened and the Ladies weren’t angry; and that if Laura couldn’t get the dress clean, someone would make her another one or find one in the trunks where outgrown clothing was stored.
“Kathryn,” Ruth began. She was going to explain Massot’s intent to court her. She’d been going over how and what to tell her. She didn’t want the girl over excited about the prospect of a marriage between them and Massot becoming her father.
Kathryn knew most of the House children were being adopted by the men who married their mothers. Though Kathryn had never seemed to mourn the fact that she never had a father, Ruth suspected she always wanted one. Most of the children from Sanctuary Place didn’t have, nor ever had, a father in their past. The few who did rarely spoke of them.
Ruth had told Kathryn about being attacked by a man and that was why she lived at the Place and now the House. Kathryn was born in Sanctuary Place in Dubuque, Iowa. It was the only home she’d known until the move to Stones Creek. She also knew that the Ladies and children had come here to find husbands.
Kathryn turned around so swiftly she nearly fell off the bed. “You said yes, didn’t you? You’re going to get married and Mr. Massot will be my father.” She threw her arms around her mother, bouncing with excitement.
“Wait, sweetie, it’s not that simple.” Ruth hugged Kathryn to her who pulled back.
“Why not? Mr. Massot’s really nice and he likes me. He helped me make the glove box for your birthday.” She looked at her mother wide-eyed.
“I’ve told you about the man who attacked me. Because of that, I’m shy of becoming involved with a man, any man. Massot is very nice. He’s kind and good. I like him quite a lot, that’s why I’m going to let him court me. I’m hoping to overcome my fears. Hoping that I come to want to be his wife. It may take time.”
“How long?”
Ruth smiled and cupped Kathryn’s cheek. “I don’t know. We will be courting and doing activities together. Some with just him and me, others with all three of us.”
Kathryn looked at her mother then placed her hands on her hips. “That will be fun, but just don’t take too long to accept him. I want to be able to call him Pa before I’m all grown up.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“WHERE’S MAE?”
Ruth looked over the dining room. They were getting Sunday dinner on the tables. Everyone had hurried back to the House after church because it was raining. The storm was getting worse by the minute. No one loitered in the church yard.
Blanche looked over the children gathering in the dining room after changing from their good clothes. “I don’t see her. Do you suppose she’s still upstairs?”
“Ask Kathryn, she’s putting rolls in the baskets.” Ruth placed platters of ham on the tables. Laura followed with potato casserole.
“I saw her leave the church but haven’t seen her since,” Laura said.