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Howl, Kaddish and Other Poems

Page 6

by Allen Ginsberg


  with your eyes of Aunt Elanor in an oxygen tent

  with your eyes of starving India

  with your eyes pissing in the park

  with your eyes of America taking a fall

  with your eyes of your failure at the piano

  with your eyes of your relatives in California

  with your eyes of Ma Rainey dying in an ambulance

  with your eyes of Czechoslovakia attacked by robots

  with your eyes going to painting class at night in the Bronx

  with your eyes of the killer Grandma you see on the horizon from the Fire-Escape

  with your eyes running naked out of the apartment screaming into the hall

  with your eyes being led away by policemen to an ambulance

  with your eyes strapped down on the operating table

  with your eyes with the pancreas removed

  with your eyes of appendix operation

  with your eyes of abortion

  with your eyes of ovaries removed

  with your eyes of shock

  with your eyes of lobotomy

  with your eyes of divorce

  with your eyes of stroke

  with your eyes alone

  with your eyes

  with your eyes

  with your Death full of Flowers

  V

  Caw caw caw crows shriek in the white sun over grave stones in Long Island

  Lord Lord Lord Naomi underneath this grass my halflife and my own as hers

  caw caw my eye be buried in the same Ground where I stand in Angel

  Lord Lord great Eye that stares on All and moves in a black cloud

  caw caw strange cry of Beings flung up into sky over the waving trees

  Lord Lord O Grinder of giant Beyonds my voice in a boundless field in Sheol

  Caw caw the call of Time rent out of foot and wing an instant in the universe

  Lord Lord an echo in the sky the wind through ragged leaves the roar of memory

  caw caw all years my birth a dream caw caw New York the bus the broken shoe the vast highschool caw caw all Visions of the Lord

  Lord Lord Lord caw caw caw Lord Lord Lord caw caw caw Lord

  Paris, December 1957 – New York 1959

  Poem Rocket

  ‘Be a Star-screwer!’—Gregory Corso

  Old moon my eyes are new moon with human footprint

  no longer Romeo Sadface in drunken river Loony Pierre eyebrow, goof moon

  O possible moon in Heaven we get to first of ageless constellations of names

  as God is possible as All is possible so we’ll reach another life.

  Moon politicians earth weeping and warring in eternity

  the not one star disturbed by screaming madmen from Hollywood

  oil tycoons from Romania making secret deals with flabby green Plutonians—

  slave camps on Saturn Cuban revolutions on Mars?

  Old life and new side by side, will Catholic church find Christ on Jupiter

  Mohammed rave in Uranus will Buddha be acceptable on the stolid planets

  or will we find Zoroastrian temples flowering on Neptune?

  What monstrous new ecclesiastical design on the entire universe unfolds in the dying Pope’s brain?

  Scientist alone is true poet he gives us the moon

  he promises the stars he’ll make us a new universe if it comes to that

  O Einstein I should have sent you my flaming mss.

  O Einstein I should have pilgrimaged to your white hair!

  O fellow travellers I write you a poem in Amsterdam in the Cosmos

  where Spinoza ground his magic lenses long ago

  I write you a poem long ago

  already my feet are washed in death

  Here I am naked without identity

  with no more body than the fine black tracery of pen mark on soft paper

  as star talks to star multiple beams of sunlight all the same myriad thought

  in one fold of the universe where Whitman was

  and Blake and Shelley saw Milton dwelling as in a starry temple

  brooding in his blindness seeing all—

  Now at last I can speak to you beloved brothers of an unknown moon

  real Yous squatting in whatever form amidst Platonic Vapors of Eternity

  I am another Star.

  Will you eat my poems or read them

  or gaze with aluminum blind plates on sunless pages?

  do you dream or translate & accept data with indifferent droopings of antennae?

  do I make sense to your flowery green receptor eyesockets? do you have visions of God?

  Which way will the sunflower turn surrounded by millions of suns?

  This is my rocket my personal rocket I send up my message Beyond

  Someone to hear me there

  My immortality

  without steel or cobalt basalt or diamond gold or mercurial fire

  without passports filing cabinets bits of paper warheads

  without myself finally

  pure thought

  message all and everywhere the same

  I send up my rocket to land on whatever planet awaits it

  preferably religious sweet planets no money

  fourth dimensional planets where Death shows movies

  plants speak (courteously) of ancient physics and poetry itself is manufactured by the trees

  the final Planet where the Great Brain of the Universe sits waiting for a poem to land in His golden pocket

  joining the other notes mash-notes love-sighs complaints-musical shrieks of despair and the million unutterable thoughts of frogs

  I send you my rocket of amazing chemical

  more than my hair my sperm or the cells of my body

  the speeding thought that flies upward with my desire as instantaneous as the universe and faster than light

  and leave all other questions unfinished for the moment to turn back to sleep in my dark bed on earth.

  Amsterdam, October 4, 1957

  Europe! Europe!

  World world world

  I sit in my room

  imagine the future

  sunlight falls on Paris

  I am alone there is no

  one whose love is perfect

  man has been mad man’s

  love is not perfect I

  have not wept enough

  my breast will be heavy

  till death the cities

  are specters of cranks

  of war the cities are

  work & brick & iron &

  smoke of the furnace of

  selfhood makes tearless

  eyes red in London but

  no eye meets the sun

  Flashed out of sky it

  hits Lord Beaverbrook’s

  white modern solid

  paper building leaned

  in London’s street to

  bear last yellow beams

  old ladies absently gaze

  thru fog toward heaven

  poor pots on windowsills

  snake flowers to street

  Trafalgar’s fountains splash

  on noon-warmed pigeons

  Myself beaming in ecstatic

  wilderness on St Paul’s dome

  seeing the light on London

  or here on a bed in Paris

  sunglow through the high

  window on plaster walls

  Meek crowd underground

  saints perish creeps

  streetwomen meet lacklove

  under gaslamp and neon

  no woman in house loves

  husband in flower unity

  nor boy loves boy soft

  fire in breast politics

  electricity scares downtown

  radio screams for money

  police light on TV screens

  laughs at dim lamps in

  empty rooms tanks crash

  thru bombshell no dream

  of man’s joy is made movie

&nbs
p; think factory pushes junk

  autos tin dreams of Eros

  mind eats its flesh in

  geekish starvation and no

  man’s fuck is holy for

  man’s work is most war

  Bony China hungers brain

  wash over power dam and

  America hides mad meat

  in refrigerator Britain

  cooks Jerusalem too long

  France eats oil and dead

  salad arms & legs in Africa

  loudmouth devours Arabia

  negro and white warring

  against the golden nuptial

  Russia manufacture feeds

  millions but no drunk can

  dream Mayakovsky’s suicide

  rainbow over machinery

  and backtalk to the sun

  I lie in bed in Europe

  alone in old red under

  wear symbolic of desire

  for union with immortality

  but man’s love’s not perfect

  in February it rains

  as once for Baudelaire

  one hundred years ago

  planes roar in the air

  cars race thru streets

  I know where they go

  to death but that is OK

  it is that death comes

  before life that no man

  has loved perfectly no one

  gets bliss in time new

  mankind is not born that

  I weep for this antiquity

  and herald the Millennium

  for I saw the Atlantic sun

  rayed down from a vast cloud

  at Dover on the sea cliffs

  tanker size of ant heaved

  up on ocean under shining

  cloud and seagull flying

  thru sun light’s endless

  ladders streaming in Eternity

  to ants in the myriad fields

  of England to sun flowers

  bent up to eat infinity’s

  minute gold dolphins leaping

  thru Mediterranean rainbow

  White smoke and steam in Andes

  Asia’s rivers glittering

  blind poets deep in lone

  Apollonic radiance on hillsides

  littered with empty tombs

  Paris, February 29, 1958

  To Lindsay

  Vachel, the stars are out

  dusk has fallen on the Colorado road

  a car crawls slowly across the plain

  in the dim light the radio blares its jazz

  the heartbroken salesman lights another cigarette

  In another city 27 years ago

  I see your shadow on the wall

  you’re sitting in your suspenders on the bed

  the shadow hand lifts up a Lysol bottle to your head

  your shade falls over on the floor

  Paris, May 1958

  Message

  Since we had changed

  rogered spun worked

  wept and pissed together

  I wake up in the morning

  with a dream in my eyes

  but you are gone in NY

  remembering me Good

  I love you I love you

  & your brothers are crazy

  I accept their drunk cases

  It’s too long that I have been alone

  it’s too long that I’ve sat up in bed

  without anyone to touch on the knee, man

  or woman I don’t care what anymore, I

  want love I was born for I want you with me now

  Ocean liners boiling over the Atlantic

  Delicate steelwork of unfinished skyscrapers

  Back end of the dirigible roaring over Lakehurst

  Six women dancing together on a red stage naked

  The leaves are green on all the trees in Paris now

  I will be home in two months and look you in the eyes

  Paris, May 1958

  To Aunt Rose

  Aunt Rose—now—might I see you

  with your thin face and buck tooth smile and pain

  of rheumatism—and a long black heavy shoe

  for your bony left leg

  limping down the long hall in Newark on the running carpet

  past the black grand piano

  in the day room

  where the parties were

  and I sang Spanish loyalist songs

  in a high squeaky voice

  (hysterical) the committee listening

  while you limped around the room

  collected the money—

  Aunt Honey, Uncle Sam, a stranger with a cloth arm

  in his pocket

  and huge young bald head

  of Abraham Lincoln Brigade

  —your long sad face

  your tears of sexual frustration

  (what smothered sobs and bony hips

  under the pillows of Osborne Terrace)

  —the time I stood on the toilet seat naked

  and you powdered my thighs with calamine

  against the poison ivy—my tender

  and shamed first black curled hairs

  what were you thinking in secret heart then

  knowing me a man already—

  and I an ignorant girl of family silence on the thin pedestal

  of my legs in the bathroom—Museum of Newark.

  Aunt Rose

  Hitler is dead, Hitler is in Eternity; Hitler is with

  Tamburlane and Emily Brontë

  Though I see you walking still, a ghost on Osborne Terrace

  down the long dark hall to the front door

  limping a little with a pinched smile

  in what must have been a silken

  flower dress

  welcoming my father, the Poet, on his visit to Newark

  —see you arriving in the living room

  dancing on your crippled leg

  and clapping hands his book

  had been accepted by Liveright

  Hitler is dead and Liveright’s gone out of business

  The Attic of the Past and Everlasting Minute are out of print

  Uncle Harry sold his last silk stocking

  Claire quit interpretive dancing school

  Buba sits a wrinkled monument in Old

  Ladies Home blinking at new babies

  last time I saw you was the hospital

  pale skull protruding under ashen skin

  blue veined unconscious girl

  in an oxygen tent

  the war in Spain has ended long ago

  Aunt Rose

  Paris, June 1958

  At Apollinaire’s Grave

  … voici le temps

  Où l’on connaîtra l’avenir

  Sans mourir de connaissance

  I

  I visited Père Lachaise to look for the remains of Apollinaire

  the day the U.S. President appeared in France for the grand conference of heads of state

  so let it be the airport at blue Orly a springtime clarity in the air over Paris

  Eisenhower winging in from his American graveyard

  and over the froggy graves at Père Lachaise an illusory mist as thick as marijuana smoke

  Peter Orlovsky and I walked softly thru Père Lachaise we both knew we would die

  and so held temporary hands tenderly in a citylike miniature eternity

  roads and streetsigns rocks and hills and names on everybody’s house

  looking for the lost address of a notable Frenchman of the Void

  to pay our tender crime of homage to his helpless menhir

  and lay my temporary American Howl on top of his silent Calligramme

  for him to read between the lines with Xray eyes of Poet

  as he by miracle had read his own death lyric in the Seine

  I hope some wild kidmonk lay his pamphlet on my grave for God to read me on cold winter nights in heaven

  already our hands have vanished from that place my hand write
s now in a room in Paris Git-Le-Coeur

  Ah William what grit in the brain you had what’s death

  I walked all over the cemetery and still couldn’t find your grave

  what did you mean by that fantastic cranial bandage in your poems

  O solemn stinking deathshead what’ve you got to say nothing and that’s barely an answer

  You can’t drive autos into a sixfoot grave tho the universe is mausoleum big enough for anything

  the universe is a graveyard and I walk around alone in here

  knowing that Apollinaire was on the same street 50 years ago

  his madness is only around the corner and Genet is with us stealing books

  the West is at war again and whose lucid suicide will set it all right

  Guillaume Guillaume how I envy your fame your accomplishment for American letters

  your Zone with its long crazy line of bullshit about death

  come out of the grave and talk thru the door of my mind

  issue new series of images oceanic haikus blue taxicabs in Moscow negro statues of Buddha

  pray for me on the phonograph record of your former existence with a long sad voice and strophes of deep sweet music sad and scratchy as World War I

  I’ve eaten the blue carrots you sent out of the grave and Van Gogh’s ear and maniac peyote of Artaud

  and will walk down the streets of New York in the black cloak of French poetry

  improvising our conversation in Paris at Père Lachaise

  and the future poem that takes its inspiration from the light bleeding into your grave

  II

  Here in Paris I am your guest O friendly shade

  the absent hand of Max Jacob

  Picasso in youth bearing me a tube of Mediterranean

  myself attending Rousseau’s old red banquet I ate his violin

  great party at the Bateau Lavoir not mentioned in the textbooks of Algeria

  Tzara in the Bois de Boulogne explaining the alchemy of the machineguns of the cookoos

  he weeps translating me into Swedish

  well dressed in a violet tie and black pants

  a sweet purple beard which emerged from his face like the moss hanging from the walls of Anarchism

  he spoke endlessly of his quarrels with André Breton

  whom he had helped one day trim his golden mustache

  old Blaise Cendrars received me into his study and spoke wearily of the enormous length of Siberia

  Jacques Vaché invited me to inspect his terrible collection of pistols

  poor Cocteau saddened by the once marvellous Radiguet at his last thought I fainted

 

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