Between The Waves

by Ellie Malouff

  “I know this might shock you, but I’ve never had SpaghettiOs.”

  “Never?” I take a seat on one of the lounge chairs that line the deck and open my legs wide for her. She doesn’t hesitate to sit down between them.

  “Never,” she answers with a cute shake of her head.

  “There’s so much I have to teach you, newbie.”

  She rests her head back on my chest, and I wrap my arms around her. Christ, it feels good to hold her.

  “I think you like to teach me things,” she says.

  “It’s not so much the teaching you, as it is getting the opportunity to spend more time with you. That’s my favorite thing.” I place a soft kiss against her temple, and I can see her smile out of the corner of my eye. There have been countless smiles today. My tally is officially busted and I couldn’t be happier about it.

  “All of this is so impressive. This place is amazing.”

  “Don’t be too impressed. I didn’t do anything to earn it, and my dad didn’t, either. It’s been in my family for a while. I’m just the last surviving Garrant.”

  “I know how that feels,” she says.

  “Inheritance is weird, right?”

  “So weird.”

  “Not that we should complain.”

  “I’d give it all up, for one more day with my dad.”

  We are not in agreement on that one. “You’re lucky. I’m not sure I’d do the same. My dad wasn’t a nice guy.”

  “That’s not what people tell me.”

  “That’s ’cause they didn’t really know the bastard. He was incredibly superficial and two-faced. He only cared about himself.”

  She twists around to meet my eyes. “I’m sorry, Jake.”

  I squeeze her a little tighter and kiss her forehead. “It’s fine. I try not to be too tough on my old man, but all the adoration can grate on me.”

  “I can see that,” she says and kisses my jaw sweetly. I want her to do it a hundred more times just like that.

  Audrey turns back around, lays against me once again, and gazes up at the sky. “The stars are even brighter here than at our beach.”

  Our. I like hearing that word coming from her. I want to tell her that this could be our beach as well, but I don’t want to scare her off. When I’m with Audrey, I always feel like her presence is tenuous. I don’t understand why she might run, just that she might. I’m determined to dig deeper to understand why I get this feeling. One thing I know for sure—it must be a careful excavation.

  “They are brighter here. What are they like where you’re from?”

  She doesn’t answer right away. I tell myself that it doesn’t mean anything, that maybe she’s trying to find the right words to describe it, but then she leans forward and shifts to face me while pulling her knees up to her chest. I sit up in the chair, too, and gently wrap my hands around her ankles.

  “Jake, I have to tell you something.”

  My heart might very well beat out of my chest. A mantra starts in my head—Please don’t leave, please don’t leave, please don’t leave.

  “I don’t really know how the stars look from Wisconsin because I’m not from there.”

  Okay, here we go. I’m nervous, legitimately nervous, about what I’m going to hear next. “You’re not?”

  “No, I’m actually from Chicago.”

  “So, a pure Cubs fan?” I ask, trying to ease some of the tension between us, but in reality, I’m starting to freak out.

  “Yes. And I’m not a middle school math teacher. I taught high school theater arts.” She laughs a little. “I can’t tell you how good it is to get that part off my chest. I’ve been afraid you were going to quiz me or something.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m terrible at math, too,” I say, hoping to ease both our minds. “But I have to ask, why did you tell me those things?”

  She bites down on her lip and her eyebrows fold in toward the center. “It’s a bit complicated.”

  “We’ve got plenty of time.” I’m afraid my tone made that come across a lot rougher than I intended. This is delicate. She’s right on the edge of opening up.

  I find myself brushing my fingertips up and down her calves, my way of imploring her to say more, but she stays quiet and closes her eyes.

  I change tactics. “Why did you leave Chicago?”

  I wait patiently, at least that’s how I hope it appears to her because in truth my patience is razor thin. After a few torturous seconds, she opens her eyes and meets mine. “There’s someone there I had to get away from. Brandon.”

  “An ex?”

  She nods slightly and puts her head down again.

  My skin crawls at the next thought that enters my mind. “Did he hurt you?”

  “Not like how you’re thinking.”

  “Then how?” I ask, the demand in my voice unmistakable.

  “He’s not stable. We barely dated, we didn’t even sleep together, but he immediately got too close for comfort and became incredibly controlling. I broke things off with him after two weeks, and I figured that would be it. But that wasn’t it for him at all.”

  Bile rises up to my throat. “What did he do?”

  “It started out with harassment. He would text me these graphic pictures of himself, and he started calling me these derogatory names. So I changed my number, but he somehow found my new number…and the number I got after that. One day he showed up and started apologizing profusely for his behavior and begged me to take him back. I forgave him, but I told him that I couldn’t get back together with him. He acted like that was fine and left. I thought it was truly over, but it wasn’t, not even close.” She doesn’t give me more, but I can imagine.

  “Did you call the police?”

  She nods. “I went for a restraining order, but I didn’t get it. It wouldn’t matter if I did, anyway.”

  My jaw tightens. “Why’s that?”

  “Because he can get away with anything. He’s powerful, resourceful, and well connected,” she says and starts to laugh a little. “He’s actually considered one of Chicago’s most eligible bachelors and one of its most generous philanthropists. He’s beloved by the city, but he’s actually a fucking psycho. I moved three times in Chicago, but he always found me. He once sent me a wedding dress. He had a box of sex toys delivered to me at the school. He sent me anonymous emails that had pictures of naked women in his bed to try to make me jealous.”

  My fists are pressed so hard into my knees I suspect there will be bruises. It’s taking everything in me to remain calm. “What a fucking creep,” I seethe.

  “You have no idea. He once broke into my apartment and filmed himself masturbating on my bed and left the video for me on a thumb drive in my panty drawer. Of course, it didn’t show his face, and somehow there was no forensic evidence, digital or otherwise.”

  “What was the final straw?” I ask, absolutely dreading her answer.

  It takes her a long time to answer. “He threatened me. Carefully of course, but I’d always known it would come to that.”

  “So you left?”

  “I found Manalua and figured it’s far enough away, and that if I’m cautious enough he won’t find me. Hopefully, he’s realized that I’m not worth all the fuss and he’ll just leave me alone.”

  Audrey is a special person. She is most definitely worth someone’s adoration, but not like this. Never like this. All the pieces are clicking into place. “So that’s why you’re not on social media?”

  Audrey raises an eyebrow at me. “You looked me up?”

  Shit, she probably thinks I’m some psycho stalker, too. “It was innocent, I swear. I wanted to connect with you, that’s all.”

  She nods and lets out a big breath. “Yes, he’s why I’m not on social media. He’s the reason why I spend more days afraid than I do feeling safe. He’s the reason I can’t be myself anymore.”

  Anger and a sense of powerlessness overwhelm me. I’ve never in my life wanted to hurt someone so badly as I want to hurt the fuck
er that has done these terrible things to her. “I hate that you’ve gone through this. I hate him so fucking much. I need to do something, to somehow help you.”

  “You are doing something.” She takes hold of my balled-up fist and uncurls it. She places a soft kiss on my palm and looks up at me. “I didn’t know what my life would be like in Manalua. I prepared myself for loneliness. I didn’t think I’d be brave enough to let anyone in.”

  “But you let me in?”

  “Yes, you gave me the courage,” she whispers.

  “And I can stay?”

  “Please do. I trust you, Jake,” she says with my favorite smile so far.

  I tilt her chin up and place a single kiss on her lips. “You can always trust me, Audrey. Always.”

  She doesn’t respond. Instead, her glassy eyes meet mine and I let out a big breath. Raw emotion floods my body and I feel my own eyes wetting. I know that I’ve fallen hard for this girl and I’ll do whatever it takes to protect her.

  The truth is out there and it really explains so much about her, even why she’s dyed her hair. I swear to God, if I ever encounter the man that’s been tormenting her, I will end him.

  The breeze picks up and a few strands of her hair sweep across her face. I brush it back and lean in to kiss her. This is what I want. I want to take her to bed and savor her, let her know that she’s safe with me and that I will do everything in my power to protect her and please her and love her, for as long as she’ll let me. Audrey throws her arms around my neck and kisses me back with so much enthusiasm that I think I may get my way.

  I wrap her legs around my waist and get ready to pick her up and take her inside when my cell phone starts ringing. She groans into my mouth and I feel exactly the same way. But I know I should check it. I don’t get that many calls from Sam, and it’s his ringtone.

  “What’s up?” I answer.

  “Hey bro, I, um, thought I should let you know that those guys…”

  “Yeah?”

  “They egged our house.”

  “Shit, are you serious?” Audrey tilts her head to the side and mouths the word, “What?” I cover the phone and whisper, “Those punks egged our house.” She frowns and shakes her head.

  Sam goes on. “Yeah, I mean, it’s not a big deal, but I know it was them.”

  “So, they’re retaliating for dropping them?”

  “Apparently. God, I’m so dumb for hanging out with them in the first place. This is what happens when you lose all your other friends because you’re spending too much time with your girlfriend.”

  “Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s going to be fine. Graduation is almost here.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Do you want me to come home?” I know that I should—it’s the right thing to do—but I really don’t want to leave yet, especially now that I’ve got Audrey’s legs around me.

  “Nah, it’s fine. The house is locked up. I’m playing video games.”

  “All right. Call me if anything else happens, okay? Don’t open up for them and stay inside.”

  “I will.”

  We say our goodbyes and I slide my phone back into my pocket.

  “Everything all right?” she asks, and I appreciate the concern she has on her face. She’s such a caring person.

  “Yeah, for the most part. Sam is gonna stay home tonight. I think it’s under control.”

  She lets out of a big breath. “That’s good.”

  “It sure is. So, where were we?” I ask.

  She folds her arms around my neck again and leans into me. “I think you were just about to take me inside and do naughty things to me.”

  “I love your memory,” I say, and do just that.

  Lesson 5

  "We're all equal before a wave."

  Laird Hamilton

  Audrey

  Jake and I stayed at the cabin for two more days, basically until our food ran out. I loved it. He gave me another surfing lesson, teaching me all about how to read waves and how to spot rip currents. He was heavy on the safety lessons, and I think it had something to do with what I told him about Brandon.

  When we weren’t between the waves, we were between the sheets making love. Sometimes slow and other times with such desperate need that nothing could stop us. It was a little slice of heaven on earth.

  I’d been truthful with Jake about what happened, but I still haven’t told him my real name. Somehow holding onto that last fact feels like my final layer of protection. What if Jake slips and says my name by accident in front of his friends? It’s the price I have to pay for the benefit of everyone. And at this point, I wouldn’t mind being Audrey for the rest of my life. Her life is pretty fucking awesome, and she’s got a demigod for a boyfriend. I’m absolutely smitten with him, and I think he feels the same way.

  Back in Manalua, we’ve been attached at the hip. I spend most of my days at The Hut, just hanging out and helping customers. I watch Jake surf every afternoon in utter awe as he rides through barrel waves. He’s like nothing I’ve ever seen on a surfboard, and it makes me laugh at my very rudimentary skills, but he never makes me feel like I’m less than him. He’s patient, and encouraging, and just lets me be me, and I think that’s what I love most about him.

  He spends most nights at my house, which makes me feel guilty about Sam. I keep telling him that we can stay at his place, but Jake says that we need our privacy. With the way we are, I’m sure he’s right. Sam would probably be disgusted to be around us.

  The month of April ends, and I’m actually thinking it’s time to start looking for a more permanent place to live or better yet, to make an offer on the vacation house I’ve been renting. I love everything about it and I’d like for it to be mine. I’m not sure if it’s Jake or the fact that I’ve got Aimi and the rest of Manalua on my side, but I’m not as afraid of Brandon as I was when I first got here. This isn’t Chicago, where Brandon’s influence tips the scales in his favor every single time.

  It’s the first Friday of May and that means two things. First, I have a surfing lesson today, and second, it’s the First Friday Fire. I’m silly with excitement about tonight’s bonfire. I dig being social again, and I’m looking forward to hanging out with Aimi and Hideo, Kaila and Lin, and even Darren and Tua.

  Jake and I decide to go surfing earlier in the morning because the surf report is good for my skill level. My confidence on my board is growing, and so is my feeling on the water. I’m more comfortable than I’ve ever been, and I catch some pretty great waves and ride into the shore a few times. Jake is beaming with pride and I am, too.

  “Let’s do this one together,” I say to him between the waves while we straddle our boards.

  “But then I’ll miss out on my favorite view,” he says and pulls my board closer to him.

  “What view is that, sir?”

  “The view of your fantastic ass, riding the waves like a goddamn dream.”

  I laugh and throw my head back in the air. “You’re delusional, but I like you anyway.”

  “Okay, let’s do this newbie. You pick the wave, and I’ll follow you.”

  One catches my eye. It’s big and will break hard.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Jake shouts at me, but it’s too late. I’m paddling and popping up and riding. I don’t dare to check if he’s with me, because this beast is going to take everything I’ve got to ride it. As it curls over, I cut just like he taught me, and I’m riding within the barrel for a glorious second or two. It’s utterly surreal, but it gets the better of me and before I know it, I’m flying through the air like a kite in a tornado. My whole body slaps against the water so hard I’m surprised I don’t bounce off it like a skipping stone. I sink beneath the surface, and get a lungful of salt water. The pain is excruciating, but I’m still riding the thrill. It’s all very confusing and terrifying and exhilarating.

  I find my way up and out of the water and let the tide wash me to the shore. I cough and cough, expelling all the water I can, and plop
down on my stomach on the sand. There’s a seashell poking into my hipbone and there’s some rancid seaweed an inch from my face. I don’t care. I just breathe, and breathe some more, and think about that barrel.

  It’s no surprise at all that my man is suddenly there with his arms all over me and checking for injuries. Much to his frustration, I’m not taking him seriously. I’m laughing instead of answering his questions and his face is about as a red a tomato. He’s also got this big vein popping out of his forehead that I’ve never seen before.

  “Audrey,” he chastises me for ignoring him.

  “Can we go back out?”

  “You got a death wish?”

  Laughing hurts my body, but I can’t help myself. I’m pretty much the biggest scaredy-cat I know. To be accused of such a thing is hilarious.

  He gives up and plants his ass right next to me. “You’re going to be the end of me, you know that?”

  “Oh, come on,” I say and cough a little bit more. “You haven’t done something above your pay grade before?”

  “I have, but it’s hard to watch someone that I love be so reckless,” he says and drops his head into his hands.

  Whoa.

  I get up on my knees and crawl in front of him. I pull his head up by his wet ears and smile. “Did you just say you love me?”

  His eyes go wild as he grabs hold of my hands and rolls me over onto my back. I’m laughing harder now than before and I’m drunk on happiness. His big beautiful Thor head blocks the sun as he gazes down at me. “You know I love you. I do. The question is, do you love me, newbie?”

  “How could I not?” I reply and pull him down so I can kiss him and show him just how much.

  “Aloha,” Kaila says as I enter Happy Grounds.

  “Hey, K.”

  She smiles brightly at me and gives me a once-over. “What’s up with you? Something looks different.”

  I wonder if she’s noticed my roots. I’m ditching the black and plan to dye my hair to something more like my natural caramel hair color, that way it can fade out naturally. “What do you mean?”