Mail Order Mommy

by Kirsten Osbourne

  Berniece looked down at little Ruth and nodded. “I want to keep her safe. From the first moment I saw her, I knew it was my job and my responsibility to make sure she never courted a man like Albert Chase.”

  “What did you like to do back in Beckham?” he asked.

  She shrugged. “I volunteered in our local orphanage before I was engaged. I liked that a great deal. I had a few friends who I liked to sit and chat with, but they all married and moved on. I guess I was kind of waiting for my life to start. Oh, and I like to read. A lot. I would read every book I could get my hands on, from poetry to novels to medical treatises. I just like to read.”

  “I didn’t know that!” Kane smiled to himself. He would find her a book or two to commemorate their marriage. Who said he had to wait a year to celebrate anything?

  “Yes, what about you? What do you like to do when you have a little spare time?”

  He laughed ruefully. “I haven’t had any spare time in a long while. When I was married to Veronica, we had to go to town for supper every night, because she didn’t cook. So, I’d work all day, and then we’d walk into town, and by the time we got home from supper, it was time for bed. On Sundays we’d stay in town all day so we could go out after church and still be there for supper. And then after Ruth was born, I was spending every moment I had with her. Someday I’ll remember what I like to do when I have some spare time, but it won’t be soon.”

  “Can you hire another man to help out around the ranch?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “I’ve hired a lot of extra men, and I find that I just work more to manage them all. No, I need to just take Sundays as relaxation days now. And I have evenings again because you’re cooking and not making me go all the way into town.” He shrugged. “Trust me, you being here is more help to me than I could possibly express.”

  “I’m really glad. I read your letter as a cry for help. And it was.”

  Kane sighed. “I didn’t want to be so transparent, but yes, it was. I needed the baby to live with me. I’ve been taking advantage of Abel and Charlie for too long. And I was afraid her first word would be ‘dada’ and she’d be talking about Abel, not me. It would have broken my heart into a million tiny little pieces.”

  “I’m sure it would have.” She hugged the baby to her. “I hope her first word is ‘mama,’ and she means me! Or ‘mommy.’ That would make me even happier.”

  “You want to be called Mommy?” he asked.

  She nodded. “I think so. I called my mother Mama, but I feel a little betrayed by her. I know she’s in a tough situation, but I won’t do that to our Ruth, even if I’m in a tough situation. I would take a hundred beatings before I’d let someone lay one finger on her.” Her heart was already overflowing with love for little Ruth.

  “Thank you,” he said softly, surprising her.

  “Thanks for what?” she asked. She hadn’t expected the words from him at that moment, and she wasn’t at all certain what he was referring to.

  “Thank you for taking one look at my little girl and making her your own. I don’t think I realized just what I had in you until today. Don’t change, please.” He felt a flash of guilt for the way he’d spoken to her, but he could do nothing other than apologize, and he’d done that. He would do better in future.

  Berniece smiled at that. “I’ll do my very best.”

  Once they were home, she set about fixing supper, and then joined Kane and Ruth in the parlor, where they were playing together. She carried the only book she’d had room for on the train, and she opened it up to read it for the thirtieth time. The train ride had been long, and she was a particularly fast reader.

  “Have you read that book before?” he asked.

  She nodded. “It was the only book I had on the train.”

  He handed her the baby and left the room for a moment, coming back with three books. “Now these are all I have at the moment, but I’m a particular fan of poetry. Maybe you could read some of them aloud while I hold the baby?”

  She grinned. “I would enjoy that more than words can express.” She flipped open the book of verses and started on the first. She read aloud, thoroughly excited to share her love of literature with her new family. She wanted little Ruth to be a reader and would start teaching her as soon as she felt the little girl was ready.

  More than two hours went by with her reading, and she finally stopped and cleared her throat loudly. “I am going to completely lose my voice if I keep going. Maybe after supper, you could read some?”

  “I would enjoy that.”

  As they ate, Berniece kept stealing looks at him in between taking bites and feeding the baby. For the first time since she’d met him, she was hopeful for the future. She was going to fall in love with him. She could feel it.

  Eight

  For the next week, Berniece spent her days alone with little Ruth and her evenings with her new husband. She and Kane were getting more and more comfortable with each other. Berniece completely caught up on the laundry and had moved on to scrubbing the walls and floors upstairs. On Saturday, she made the butter she’d been promising herself she’d make, and her arms were aching when Kane got home that evening.

  She had made a pot roast, mashed potatoes, and carrots, along with freshly buttered bread. Kane walked in the door and inhaled deeply before going to the basin to wash his hands. “You are spoiling me, Berniece. I might just start expecting you to do nice things for me.” He grinned at her, letting her know he was only half-serious.

  She laughed, shaking her head. “A woman cooking dinner for her husband is not spoiling. It’s her doing her job.”

  He frowned. “I’m sorry I ever treated you that way. I don’t think it’s your job, but I’m so happy you do it willingly.” Ruth was in her high chair, and as soon as his hands were washed, he lifted her out. “How was your day? Did your new mommy treat you well?”

  Ruth babbled in response and did it very animatedly.

  “I think she’s just days from crawling,” Berniece said. “She was on her hands and knees rocking back and forth as if she was trying to figure out exactly how to do it. Of course, Charlie thought she was really close to crawling for a full month before I got here.”

  He grinned down at Ruth. “Are you trying to crawl? Now don’t you do it for the first time while Daddy is working. I need to see you crawl!”

  Ruth responded by patting his cheek.

  “I think that is meant condescendingly,” Berniece said. “It was very much a ‘you’ll take what you can get’ pat.”

  “I’m worried you’re right,” Kane said, shaking his head. “I do want her to crawl when I’m around, but I know there will be things I miss unless I stop working, and that wouldn’t be smart.”

  “I’ll do my best to write down the time of every new thing and describe it as well as I can. It’s as close as I can get to actually being there for you. I wish I was a photographer.”

  He grinned. “I wish you were, too. I have a feeling that Ruth would find it impossible to stay still for long enough to have her portrait taken. Maybe in a year or two.”

  Berniece put supper on the table, including freshly cut bread. “Would you mind giving her the heel of the loaf so she can start gnawing on it and we can actually eat a few bites before she starts demanding real food?”

  He laughed. “I can do that.” He put the baby into her high chair and handed her the heel, watching as she started sucking on it greedily. “I like being able to help out with her a little. Do you know that until MaryAnn and Charlie started trying her on infant food, I’d never even been able to feed her? I’ve never diapered her. Maybe you could teach me.”

  She nodded. “I’d be happy to. I wouldn’t mind a break from the diapers on occasion. They are not my favorite part of being a mommy, I must say.”

  “I’m sure they’re not, and if I can help with them, I will. I was so excited to have a child, and I feel like I’ve gotten so little time with her since she was born. You’re making it a lot easi
er for me.”

  “I’m happy to do that.” She took her seat and bowed her head for their prayer, and then she served them both a plate. She took a bit of the carrots and mashed them the best she could with her fork, and then stirred in the mashed potatoes for the baby, setting the bowl aside for the food to cool, while she ate a few bites and the baby gnawed at her bread.

  As they ate, Kane told her about the new area they were moving the herd to. “We finally finished mending the fences near the river, so we’re moving the herd down that way on Monday. It’s going to be a long process, and all of us will have to work together, but I think we can get it done in a day or two.”

  “I would love to see the whole ranch. Do you know I’ve lived here for more than a week and never seen the property?”

  He shook his head. “I’ve been remiss. Perhaps we can convince Charlie to watch Ruth tomorrow after church, and the two of us can explore the ranch together.”

  “I’d like that. Will you have to go on a cattle drive?” she asked, having read about ranches in the west. She’d read about everything.

  “I won’t go this year, and I didn’t last year. When Veronica was pregnant, she wanted me around, and I won’t leave my new wife and baby for that long. My ranch foreman will be the one to lead the cattle drive into Billings, which will leave me here with just a couple of hands for a few weeks, but we can get the work done with fewer cattle.”

  “Will there be someone left to cook for the men? Or should I plan on having a couple of extra mouths to feed every night? It wouldn’t be any extra trouble to make more.”

  He shook his head. “The men that are left will take care of themselves. There’s a bunkhouse, and they will take turns making bad food for each other.”

  She laughed. “Works for me. I can also cook extra, and you can take it to them. Then they won’t have to eat their bad food.”

  “I don’t think so. There are times when a man doesn’t want his employees close to his beautiful wife.” Until he was sure of how she felt about him, he wanted to lock her up and not let her be around other men at all. How had he ever thought this could be a business arrangement?

  Beautiful? Berniece felt her heart skip a beat. He was a sweet talker now that he’d decided to be kind, and she wasn’t always sure how to take his words. “If you change your mind, let me know, and I’m happy to help out.”

  “I will.” He thought about how Veronica would have yelled at him if he’d even considered asking her to help out by cooking for the ranch hands, and he was happy that he’d found someone as willing to help out as Berniece was. She was a much better wife to him already than Veronica ever had been.

  “I’m sorry, but I didn’t get around to making a dessert today like I’d planned,” she said, shaking her head. “I made butter instead, and my arms are just aching from all the churning. I’m sure I’ll get used to it in time, but for now, I don’t ever want to even think about lifting a finger ever again.”

  He laughed. “I’ll help with dishes tonight.”

  “Oh, no. I couldn’t ask you to do that!”

  “You didn’t ask. I offered.”

  She shook her head. “No, you spent all day working so I can buy food from the store. It’s my job to cook that food and clean up after we’ve eaten it. You play with Ruth, and I’ll give her a bath once I’ve finished with the dishes.”

  “May I help bathe her? I’ve never been around for that.”

  “Of course!” She grinned at him. “I’m just going to bathe her in the basin I wash dishes in. I love our bathtub, but she’s still too little to sit up, and it wouldn’t be wise to bathe her in it.”

  Kane smiled. “How do you know so much about children?”

  “I volunteered at our local orphanage from the time I graduated from the eighth grade. I helped give the children baths and even got to teach a few of them to read. I changed a lot of diapers there, too. It was a really good experience for me, and I was devastated when my father made me stop helping out.” She fed the baby another bite of the mashed-up carrots and potatoes, giggling at the way she opened her mouth like a baby bird, waiting for a worm. “She loves this!”

  “She does. She recognizes exceptional cooking already.”

  Berniece was surprised at the absolute change Kane had made in the week since she’d left overnight. It really had been the right thing to do for their marriage. “I’m glad you enjoy my cooking, but carrots and mashed potatoes are very simple. I did some of that for the orphans as well. And laundry. I think I did more laundry there than anything else!”

  “Did your parents encourage you to volunteer? Or was it something you wanted to do?” It sounded like she’d done all the household chores by choice that Veronica had considered beneath her. The more he learned about his sweet new wife, the more he realized he had found someone who was just like he’d thought Veronica was when he married her.

  “My mother didn’t mind, but my father kept telling me I should be spending my days looking for a husband. I felt like I was too young to look for a husband, and my mother indulged me.”

  “I don’t think that’s indulging. That’s being reasonable. A woman is not ready to marry until she’s a little older.”

  Berniece smiled and nodded. “I’m nineteen, in case you were wondering, and I think that’s a good age for marriage.”

  “I’m twenty-six,” he said softly. “I feel like I’m an old man compared to you.”

  “How old was Veronica?” she asked casually, hoping he would tell her something about the other woman. What she’d heard so far had made her think Veronica hadn’t been a good wife to him, and he was expecting her to act the same.

  “She was twenty-one, which is older than you, but she was spoiled and had never worked a day in her life.” Kane regretted the words as soon as they were spoken.

  “I see.” Berniece didn’t meet his eyes. “Well, you don’t have to worry about that with me. My father called me spoiled, but I certainly know how to work, and I’d rather be busy than idle. Well, unless I have a new book, in which case I can be positively lazy.”

  He laughed. “I think if you weren’t lazy with a new book, you wouldn’t be human.” He was glad she hadn’t latched onto what he’d said about Veronica and had quickly changed the topic. He didn’t feel like he should be saying bad things about his late wife, but the truth was, he’d been miserable as soon as they’d said, “I do.”

  “I’m so glad you understand.” She grinned at him as she fed the baby the last of the food she’d made for her. “If you’ll watch Ruth, I’ll get the dishes done and then draw her bath for her.”

  “Happy to do it.” He’d had three plates of food in the time it had taken Berniece to eat one herself and feed the baby. He scooped the baby out of the chair and wandered into the parlor with her, putting her on her tummy. He wanted to see if she’d crawl for him so he wouldn’t miss it while he was working. “Crawl, Ruth!”

  Berniece laughed to herself in the kitchen as she heard him tell the baby to crawl. She knew he desperately wanted to have a bigger part in his little girl’s life, and she daydreamed about how he would be with their children. Of course, they hadn’t yet done anything to make a baby, but they were growing closer, and she was hopeful. Ruth really didn’t need to spend her entire life as an only child as Berniece had.

  She washed and dried the dishes quickly while she heated water for the baby’s bath. When she had the water just right, she called for Kane to bring Ruth in.

  “Did she crawl for you?” Berniece asked him.

  He shook his head with a frown. “I think she’s deliberately holding back so I won’t see it.”

  Berniece laughed. “You are being downright silly, Kane. She doesn’t know to do that to you.”

  He shrugged. “Hopefully she’ll crawl for me tomorrow. Then I’ll feel like I’ve seen one of her firsts.”

  “You’ll see plenty of them. Don’t worry about that.” Berniece took the baby from him and stripped her quickly, putting he
r in the water and holding her up with a hand behind her head. She picked up a piece of mild soap she’d purchased from the mercantile in town and rubbed it over the baby, carefully washing her hair. When she was done with actually cleaning her, she stepped to one side, while still holding the baby’s head up. “Now you can hold her head while she splashes.”

  Kane put his hand just where Berniece had hers, and then he watched as Ruth kicked and giggled. “She likes the water.”

  She nodded. “She really does. I forgot to get her diaper and gown. I’ll be right back.” She hurried up the stairs and carried down one of the baby’s long white gowns that had been trimmed with lace. She had made a couple of rompers for the baby that week, so when she was crawling her clothing would be ready. She loved the new style that babies in the East were put into, and whether it was common there in the West or not she didn’t know. But her baby would be dressed in the style of the East, and no one could challenge her about it.

  When she got back downstairs with the clothes, she stood for a moment at the foot of the stairs, watching Kane with the baby. He was so kind and gentle, and his hands were loving. His voice was low as he talked to the little girl, telling her that she wasn’t allowed to even look at boys until she was fifty.

  Berniece laughed softly as she stepped into the room. “Are you not going to allow her to go to school?”

  He turned to her with a grin. “I guess you heard that, huh?”

  “I did. Fifty?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe forty. I’ll see how it goes when I get there.” He lifted the baby from the water and handed her to his wife, who waited with a towel.

  Drying her off completely, Berniece laid her on the table and diapered her, and then put her in her gown. “Are you ready for sleep, precious?” she asked softly. “We have church tomorrow, so it will be a busy day, and we get to see your auntie Charlie. Yes, we do. She’s going to be so happy to get to hold you. We’ll have to choose a day next week to go see her, too. I can do her mending, and she can hold you.”