Captivated: Emerson Falls, Book 3 (Emerson Falls Series)

by Harlow James

  “Cash… are you listening?” Luke pulls me from the catastrophe in my head as I finally move my gaze from the computer and acknowledge him.

  “Sorry, no. What did you say?”

  “I said, are you going to talk to her about it?”

  And then irritation slams into me. “What? Why should I say anything when she’ll probably just lie some more?”

  “Did she honestly lie to you, Cash? Or are you reaching for the truth here?”

  “Omitting the truth, covering it up—they’re all forms of lying. This woman told me her name is Piper Davis, but she’s obviously someone else. Believe me, I’ve seen enough of it in my life to know what I’m talking about.” Instantly flashbacks of my parents come to mind—the arguments, the secrets, the cheating—and when it all came out, that’s when the shitstorm really started. It was watching how despicably my parents treated each other that convinced me love wasn’t worth it.

  And as my eyes flick back to the screen, doubt creeps back in when I see the woman who made me leap has secrets of her own.

  “You need to let her explain, man. Do you remember when Clara made the mistake of telling Liv and her friends the wrong information about us? Do you remember how pissed I was?” I just stare at him blankly, waiting for him to arrive at his point. “It was you who told me I needed to hear her out, that she deserved the opportunity to explain because people make mistakes and if I truly cared about her, I would stop punishing her for her poor choice in the moment.”

  “Dude, this isn’t the same. The woman has an entirely different identity! This isn’t just her saying one wrong thing. This is me questioning everything she’s ever said to me!”

  “Lower your voice, Cash, before the Captain comes out here and chews your ass,” Cooper grits through clenched teeth. “You need to calm down. You’re jumping to conclusions. Do some research. You’re a deputy, you know the drill. Collect evidence, find the facts, and then come to a conclusion. But if you can’t settle the fuck down, don’t speak to her until you do.”

  Luke rests a hand on my shoulder. “Cooper’s right, man. You don’t know enough to react like this. I’m not gonna lie though, it’s shit like this that makes me weary of even trying to date again.”

  Luke lost his wife a few years ago in a car accident, an accident he arrived on the scene of while on duty. His son was just a baby at the time and luckily not in the car with her, so he was left to do the single dad thing, but has never quite been the same. He hasn’t dated since he lost Hannah either—a fact I remind myself of as I put my own turmoil into perspective.

  “Fuck. Okay, you’re right,” I let out on an intense breath.

  “We’ve got your back though, man, okay? Always. Let us know what we can do if you need us,” Cooper adds as Luke shifts uncomfortably on his feet.

  “Uh, I kind of need to speak to you guys about something, actually.” My eyes shift to Luke as Cooper’s follow. “I’m leaving the department at the beginning of the year.”

  “What? Why?” And now I’m pissed again.

  “I just can’t do this anymore. Every time we get a call to an accident, there’s a pit in my stomach. And it’s not just that. Grayson is going to be in school soon and my mom is getting older, so it’s getting harder for her to help. I need to be there for my son and my family and the hours are hard with a kid.”

  “Fuck, this sucks, but I respect your decision, man. What are you going to do instead?”

  His face lights up with that question. “Actually, I’m going to teach at the community college in Ashland. That was always my back-up plan. I have my master’s in English and my bachelor’s in Criminal Justice. A buddy of mine works over there and told me about a position opening up next semester. I’d be a fool not to take it. So, I’m leaving behind law enforcement…”

  Cooper and I stand there, stunned. “Wow. Well, it seems like you’ve put a lot of thought into this. I hope it works out for you, man. But we’ll definitely miss you around here,” Cooper reaches to shake his hand before pulling him in for a manly hug.

  “We will still see each other, I’m sure. Come on, we barely see each other at work as it is, but we still make time to hang out. I’m thinking of looking for a full-time nanny for Grayson, too. Someone to live with us so when I have to teach night classes, he’s not alone and I don’t have to rely solely on my mom.”

  “Oh, dude. You just jinxed yourself,” Cooper chides. “Don’t hire someone hot, or you’re gonna be in trouble.”

  “Please. It’s been years since I lost my wife, and I still can’t imagine being with anyone else. I think I’m good,” he waves us off. “Good luck with that whole situation, Cash. Let me know what you need from me.” He juts his chin in our directions before twisting around completely, headed in the opposite direction of where we stand in the station.

  It’s at that moment when I realize where I’m at—the phones ringing, the muted conversations on the other side of doors, the desk drawers clanking against the metal posts holding them up all around us. I’m at work in an emotional crisis, but I still have a job to do.

  “Hey, I know you’re rattled right now,” Cooper pulls my attention back to him. “But you need to shut it down and do your job. Remember, protect and serve. That’s our motto.”

  “I know. Fuck, man. I… I gotta deal with this later though. I just don’t know how or when. I’m supposed to see her in a couple of days.” My plans were to bring over food so Piper and I could cook dinner together, and then I was gonna ravage her body for hours. Now the thought of being near her right now brings back my urge to hurl.

  “Then tell her we need you on shift. Come up with some excuse to get out of it.”

  “You mean lie? Like she did to me?”

  “Yes, because if you don’t, you’re going to end up saying something you’ll regret and fucking up a good situation.”

  I huff. “Remind me what’s good about the situation I’m in again?”

  “Despite what you might think, Cash, that woman is good for you and is a good person. My gut is telling me so. I saw you with her, man. Whether or not you want to admit it, you have feelings for her, which aren’t going to go away just because there’s an obstacle to face. What you need to decide is how to face it.”

  “I really hate you right now,” I grumble, looking around us as other deputies mill about.

  “That’s okay. A few months ago when you were being the voice of reason, I hated you too. I’ve got to go. Try to get through this shift, and then sort through the shit when you have the time.” Cooper pats me on the shoulder and then walks off, leaving me to gather my wits and my things from my desk and head for my cruiser.

  He’s right. I need to take a step back, because I feel like if I go to her place right now, I’m gonna react on the emotions coursing through me and say or do something in the moment that I can’t take back. I may never have been in a relationship before, but I do know myself well enough to decide seeing her right now is not a brilliant idea.

  Towards the end of my shift, when I have a moment, I shoot off a text to her.

  Me: Hey. Turns out they need me to work Wednesday night. Pulling a double. Won’t be able to stop by. Sorry. See you soon.

  Short, sweet, and to the point, although even I know that it sounds like I’m an asshole and I’m avoiding her. I just hope she doesn’t read too much into it.

  Chapter 23

  Piper

  He’s avoiding me. It doesn’t take a genius to read between the lines. Although for the better part of my relationship with Mason, we avoided each other. But since Cash has pursued me, he’s never blown me off. In fact, he was relentless and when I finally caved, he was always the one who initiated contact between us.

  Maybe I’m reading too much into it. Maybe they really did need him on shift and that short, curt message was the only thing he could type out with his fingers when he had a spare moment. Yeah, that’s it. He was just in a hurry. He wasn’t trying to be stand-offish, or rude, or avoid me.r />
  But it’s not even just the text he sent me Saturday afternoon, cancelling our plans for Wednesday. It’s the lack of communication for the last three days that has me freaking out. Several sent text messages from me—all read, but never replied to.

  So what if he truly is dodging me? What could have happened in the last few days that would make him act that way? Oh, God. Did he hear me talking on the phone with my mom Saturday morning? I wouldn’t usually have her on speakerphone, but I was trying to load the coffee maker and talk to her at the same time. The vibrations of the phone had already woken me up while we were lying in the bed as I frantically escaped the room so he wouldn’t hear it. I thanked my lucky stars that the phone was on vibrate and not the ringtone, but since Cash started staying at my place, I made sure to cover my tracks.

  But what if I didn’t cover them well enough?

  It’s possible he heard, but no. I’m over-analyzing, overthinking, and creating drama in my head where there aren’t any issues—also known as, the curse of being a girl.

  “I think Cash is avoiding me,” I greet Rachel as soon as she picks up the phone. I know I said I was over-analyzing, but when girls do that, of course they need their best friend to tell them whether they’re truly being crazy or not.

  “Well, hello to you too. Care to start at the beginning?”

  I lie back on my bed, one hand behind my head, the other holding the phone to my ear. Memories of being in this same position years ago speaking to the same person on the other end of the line hit me hard. Except my room isn’t pastel pink anymore, I’m not the naïve girl I was back then, and I actually have a man worth panicking over.

  “Cash was supposed to come over tonight, but he texted me three days ago and said he had to work late tonight. In all the time I’ve known him, he’s never had to work late that far in advance. It has always been a spur-of-the-moment thing.”

  “Not to be a jerk, but you haven’t known him that long. You’ve only been dating officially for about two weeks, right?”

  I huff. “Almost three now, but why can’t you be on my side here?”

  “I’m not choosing sides, just stating facts. Continue please.”

  “So, I feel like he’s avoiding me…”

  “Any reason why you might think that?” I hear the volume of her television turn down substantially in the background.

  “Uh, well… I wonder if he might have overheard me on the phone the other morning with my mom…” I cringe as I say the words out loud and then my stomach drops as I contemplate how bad this could be.

  “Oh, shit. Really?”

  “I honestly don’t know, Rach. But all I know is that we were supposed to have dinner tonight and spend time together and he’s not coming.”

  “Maybe he really did have to work, Pfeiffer. Try not to read too much into it, okay? I’m sure if he heard your conversation, he’ll say something eventually.”

  I think about how bold Cash is, how if he did hear the words exchanged between my mother and I, he would definitely be the type to say something. That small reminder allows me to breathe for the first time in an hour.

  “You’re right, Rach. Cash would definitely say something if he heard. He would call me out on it. I’m just being a girl, creating irrational scenarios in my mind when there doesn’t need to be.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I just… I’ve never been with someone that I cared so much about. I never got this way with Mason.” My admission is honest and raw, but it’s the truth. The longer I’ve been removed from that relationship, the more I can see how lifeless and complacent it was. I hate that I keep comparing this thing with Cash back to him, but it’s the only form of comparison I have, which realistically, isn’t even a contest.

  Cash has dug his way into my heart. I’m falling and I don’t even want to stop—because the feeling of soaring without a care, with the freedom to move whatever way the wind takes you—it’s a freedom I’ve never felt, in life, or in love.

  “This is definitely different for you, Pfeiffer. I can hear it in your voice, even with how panicked you are right now at the thought of something being wrong. You’re falling for him, aren’t you?”

  “Part of me thinks I already fell.”

  “Oh, my. I wanna meet this guy,” she chuckles through the line, instantly bringing a smile to my face.

  “I want you to do that too, so much. Hopefully one day soon. My parents are trying desperately to infiltrate the Montevallo’s and find out if they really know where I’m at.”

  “Really? How so?”

  “My father knows people. Let’s just leave it at that.” Honestly, I don’t even know what he’s up to, but my mother said he has had someone working undercover for them for months to get more information and hopefully find out where Mason is. It seems Mason paid back some of the money he owed, appeasing them for a while. But then he was back to his old habits, betting more than he should and racked up his debt again, making me on their radar once more.

  However, as of today, he has officially been declared as a missing person. Once the ledger in his desk was found, it provided a tie to the Montevallo’s, allowing my father to finally take legal action. Our house in the Hamptons that we shared has been empty for months now, only recently discovered when Mason left on a vacation saying he needed to find himself and get better, claiming he was going to rehab. Apparently no one has seen him since though, not even his family. That was the last detail I got before I had to end the call and rush to the hospital to start my shift.

  After listening to my best friend fill me in on her life, we say our goodbyes and I struggle to find sleep, knowing that tomorrow is my next paint night at the retirement center, and I’m hoping like hell that I’ll get to see Cash and he’ll give me some inclination of what’s going on. I know we’ve both been working, but something just doesn’t add up. I don’t think I was even this nervous on our first date—maybe because now I know him and I have feelings for him, and I also know what I stand to lose if there truly is an issue.

  I arrive at the retirement center about thirty minutes before the class starts to set up. Exiting my car, that electricity zips through my body, alerting me that something is not quite right. I twist and turn in the parking lot, convinced that there is a set of eyes on me, watching my every move, but nothing looks out of the ordinary.

  I hate this feeling—the paranoia that creeps up out of nowhere and makes my heart hammer in my chest. It takes away all of the progress and acceptance I’ve managed to build about my circumstances and squashes it beneath a boulder of uncertainty.

  With one more glance over my shoulder, I scramble into the building, check in with Sarah, and then make my way to the craft room, trying to focus on the task at hand and not the slow unraveling of my confidence.

  Extracting the colors of paint from the cabinet, rinsing and drying brushes, and filling up cups of water, I prepare everything I need for the amount of people who signed up tonight. Last time sure was a hit, and it seems we have returning customers and plenty of new ones as well. The room will be packed and I’m excited to show them how to paint the Christmas landscape portrait I chose since December is right around the corner. Thanksgiving is in less than two weeks and Cash and I had yet to discuss our plans for the holidays, a thought I’m not sure will even happen now.

  “Piper, so good to see you,” Birdie says from behind me, alerting me to the arrival of several other patrons as well. I was so caught up in my thoughts, I didn’t even realize people were here.

  Get it together, Pfeiffer.

  “Are you sure you’re happy to see me after I beat you in Scrabble a few weeks ago?” I wink at her, causing her to laugh.

  “Believe me… just seeing you beat Cash was worth its weight in gold.”

  “Speaking of Cash,” I start, grateful that she brought him up instead of the other way around, “Is he coming tonight?” I avoid her eyes so she can’t see my confusion and desperation.

  “Uh, no. He picked up
a shift apparently.” And those words make my head pop up.

  “Really?”

  “Yes. Did he not tell you?”

  I shake my head, breathing deeply to keep the tears at bay. “No. He didn’t.”

  “Piper, be patient with him. He’s not one to believe in love, but I knew from the first moment he spoke about you, there was something there. My boy has guarded his heart his entire life and I knew it would just take the right woman to open him up to the idea of everything the right person can bring you. He’s going to make mistakes here—stupid choices that will make you want to smack him upside the head. And you know what? Do it! I do all the time,” she teases, making me chuckle slightly. “But don’t give up on him. I know he cares about you and I can see the hurt in your eyes right now, so I know you feel the same way.”

  My jaw is clenched tight, afraid to say anything that will make me burst into tears. I know Birdie knows Cash better than anyone, so if she can see that maybe he’s struggling with his feelings, then I need to be mindful of that too. When he told me he didn’t know what to do in a relationship, I kind of waved it off. But maybe Birdie is right. Maybe he’s fighting an internal war about his feelings and I just need to be patient. I know my feelings have come on strong, but after the other night at Cooper and Clara’s, I thought we were on the same page.

  Finally swallowing down my emotions, I speak. “Thank you, Birdie. I’ll keep that in mind. Let’s paint, shall we?” I flash my polite and proper smile, the one I perfected in my other life when you had to put on the face of someone who was perfect on the outside no matter what you were feeling on the inside, and guide the members of Sagewood Retirement Center through the steps to create the perfect Christmas decoration to display in their apartments.

  When the class is finished, a few patrons stay back to help clean up. While bent over in the cupboard storing the supplies away, Baron comes running into the room as fast as his age and legs allow him.