father and, 359
freedom from, 359
as guilt, 266
as low drama, 36-37, 183-184, 217
nothing changes with, 38, 60
ordinary relationship and, 325-326
Parent ego state and, 34
partner and, 204
praise / manipulation and, 34, 456
and projection, 432
and responsibility, 60, 82, 111-112, 175
as Shadow Principle, 361
and voices, 114
as victim story, 319
bonding, 68-69
boundaries,
vs. clarity, 194-195
with children, 195-198
making, 192-200, 305
Box, 487
and Archetypal Love, 251
and beliefs, 134-135, 487
and child’s flexibility, 152
crystallization of, 177
distinction between you, 83-84
and edges, 224-226
expanding your, 85-88
and feedback, 472
___free zone, 327-328
gets hooked, 137
and intimacy, 323
and liquid state, 126-128
Map of 18 Standard Boxes, 85-87
Map of the Box, 81
Map of Boxes Come in Layers, 84
and Map of Flying, 481
and marshmallow zone, 222-224
mechanics, 82, 196-197, 480, 487
and mechanicality, 131
Neanderthalean, 305-306
and nit picking, 143-144
and recoil, 435-436
is right, 202-204
and self-fogging, 344
and self-sitting, 402-403
taking responsibility for, 85
brain chemistry, 104-105
Bright Principles,
and Archetypal Love, 250, 338-339
and Archetpyal Man, 269
and Archetypal Relationship, 312, 331-333, maps of, 312, 314, 332, and 401
and Archetypal Woman, 281
and Authenticity, 129-130, Map of, 129
and being happy, 204
and conscious identification, 497
and cultural evolution, 418
and destiny, 96, 172, 250, 296, 366, 372-373, 490-491, 514
and discussion, 142
and energetic intimacy, 235
and forces of nature, 204, 363-364, 487, 507
and gameworlds, 297, 373-377, map of, 376, 495, 511
and Gremlin, 204, 431
and high drama (Map of Possibility), 361, 496-497
and holding space, 304, 412, 497
and Possibility, 490, 505
and Possibility Manager, 506
and responsibility, 142, 364, 500, 509
and responsible stories, 509, 512
and rite of passage, 492
and slave or servant, 296, 312, 366, 491
and Stellating Archetypes, 353-355, Map of, 354
and terminology, 330, 363-364
and trainers, 72, 511, 491
and upperworld, 347-349, maps of, 350 and 361
and Winning Happening, 139, 172, 351, 365-366, 515, Map of, 365
also see: Adult, destiny, Possibility Manager, Shadow Principles, Map of Possibility, upperworld
Bright world, 487
broken heart, 257-259, also see: wound(s)
Buckaroo Banzai (film), 203
Buddha, 179
building matrix, see: matrix building
bullshit, 271, and Gremlin, 139; also see: cowshit
bullshit detector, 6
C
Callahan, Harry, 139
Castaneda, Carlos, 377, 510
Cathexis Institute, 92, 494
cathexis vs. catharsis,
and Archetypal relationship, 334, 367
and attention, 262-263
and building matrix, 23
and distinctions vs. boundaries, 193
and Goddess, 304
and Gremlin, 331, 367
and low drama, 186
and nits, 144
and Phase 2 feelings work, 101-102
and problem ownership, 161
and Spiritual Warrior, 297
center
of being, 173, 486
of gameworld, 373-377, 487-488
of Labyrinth (E. J. Gold), 312, 412, 426-427
physical, 504
centering, 173-176
and being centered, 462, 486
and Countenance, 411-412
and feeling, 177
Map of, 174
also see: giving your center away
Certainty, A Dirge for, (C.C.), 257
Chalice and the Blade, (Eisler), 54
changing, 79, 116
Changed Results, Map of, 202
Child ego state, 34-35
Child-level responsibility, 316
child raising, see: parenting
children, see: parenting
chocolate,
and adoration, 201, 428, 458
and Gremlin, 40, 116, 186, 370, 379
and longing, 415
and psychic sex, 447
and scarcity, 363
and sex,
and substitutes for Love, 443-444, 479
Chödron, Pema, 288
choices, 218, 514
choosing, 473, 488
clicker, 488
coaching, 488
co-dependent behavior, see: giving away your center
Coincidence Control Center, 468
collaboration, 351, 365
comfort zone, 81, 331
“commit first,” 218, 366; also see: Pirate agreement
communication
Adult responsible, 154-163
completion loop, 157-159
about feelings, 176-183
love and, 154, 473
Map of, 162
twelve roadblocks to (Gordon), 156-157
Communicator Archetype, 290, 488
competence, see: Soft Skills, Map of Learning, 122
competition, 363-364, map of, 365
complaining, 36-37, 78-79, 184-186, 210, 217, 226, 285, 287, 331, 354, 442, 499
completion loop, 154, 157-159, 179, 280, 474; also see: Requiem
compromise, 365
computer sex, see: Internet sex
cooperation, 365
confusion, 21, 87
conscious competence, 122
Conscious Ear, The (Tomatis), 163
conscious incompetence, 122
conscious theater, 76, 281, 285, 320, 363, 488-489, 507; also see: high drama
consciousness
is everywhere, 16, 19
freedom and, 52, 59, 85, 137, 149, 432, 473, 507
justification and, 326
level of, 509
sex and, 428
of spaces, 141
source of, 18-20, 250
consequence,
and actions, 6, 227, 458
and Box, 186
and communication, 155, 164
and decisions, 187-188, 197, 276, 337, 414
and feedback, 121
and Gremlin, 371
and learning, 25
and patriarchy, 2, 56
and responsibility, 62, 85, 111-112, 175, 317, 500
and Restricting Sphincters, 375-377, Map of, 376
and rite of passage, 65
and stories, 256-257, 273, 315
and sword of clarity, 299
and Western culture, 58, 197, 296, 343
also see: responsibility
conservation of energy, see: cathexis
contact, 412-413, 489
context, 489
Archetypal, 310-313
defensive, 490
expansive, 492
possibility, 5-6, 177-178
shift of, 67, 321
core skills of a Possibility Manager, the seven, 489
0. shifting identity to Possibility Manager, 33, 275-277
1. staying unhookable, 136-140, 514
2. being centered, 173-
176, 486
3. contact, 412-413, 489
4. holding space, 140-142, 497
5. feeling Archetypal feelings (going stellar), 495
6. creating possibility, 485, 488, 489, 490, 497, 504
7. selling possibility, 489
Countenance, 393-397, 489
experiment in, 405-406
Map of vs. Archetypal Love, 414
Map of requirements for, 407
obstacles to, 416-417
requirements for, 406-417
works, 479
cowshit, 271-273; also see: bullshit
Creating (Fritz), 491
creating,
feels like, 228, 482
possibility, 490
relationship, 80, 209, 228, 333, 482, 502, 509, 514
Creator (magician or sorceress) Archetype, 279, 299-301, 490
culture, see: Western culture, gender culture
D
dangerous questions, 490
dating, 206
Daughter of Fire (Tweedie), 68
Death and Resurrection Show (Taylor), 22
decisions,
in adult communication, 161
and sadness, 187-188
vs. reasons, 218
yes or no, 187-188
declaring, 252-255, 413-414, 490
decoding messages, 161-163, map of, 162
defensive,
Box strategy, 82-83, 137, 170-172, 312, 490
context, 490
learning, 13, 490
also see: Gremlin, expansive
deity, 142, 254, 423; also see: Principles, space, holding space, navigating space
delight, 481-482
denial, 130-131, 361, 362, 364
and Gremlin, 371, 445, 473, 490
depression, map of, 98, 104-105, 188
destiny (true purpose),
in action, 372-377
and attention, 485
and Box, 224
and Bright Principles, 96, 485, 490-491, 507, 514
and building matrix, 250
and conscious theater, 320, 488-489
Distilling__ Process, 372, 491
and edgework, 224, 229
and evolution, 206
and extraordinary relationship, 326
and free will, 74
and gameworlds, 487-488
and high drama, 366, map of, 361, 496-497
and patriarchy, 59
and Phase 2 of feelings work, 182, 186
and possibility speaking, 506
serving your, 372, 376-377
song lyrics about, 208
and soul (-food), 208-209, 372-377, 510
and stellating Archetypes, 354-355, map of, 354
and terminology, 330
and trainers, 192, 330, 511
and what matters, 190
Detecting Messages,168-170, Maps of, 168 and 169
Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems (Galileo), 68
discovery,
listening,166-168, map of, 165
and reorientation, 14
speaking, 172-173, map of, 171
discussion, 170-172, map of, 171
Disk of Nothing, 481, 491; also see: hooked, unhookable, Nothing
dissipative structures (Prigogine), 499
distilling destiny, 491; also see: destiny
distinctions
and boundaries, 192-193
and the Box, 83
and clarity, 17, 194-195
making, 17-18
Relationship ___, 18
do-it list, 288-289
do-overs, 491
Doer (Warrior or Warrioress) Archetype, 491-492
Double Space-Holding, 269, Map of, 294
drama, see: high drama, low drama
Drama Triangle (Karpman), see: low drama
drivers, 130-131
Dune (Herbert), 114
Durckheim, Graf Karlfried, 22
Dyadic Cyclone (Lilly), 468
E
Early Adolescent Relationship, Map of, 398
earth, flat map vs. round map, see: Map of Maps
Eat-A-Bug Cookbook, The (Gordon), 234
ecstasy, 90-91
Edgework, 221-241, 296, 325, 327, 405-406, 492, Map of, 225
ego state(s), 32-35
in Map of Archetypal/Archetypal Relationship, 332
in Map of Archetypal/Ordinary Relationship, 314
Map of Adult, 117
Map of Parent Adult Child, 34
relocating to adult, 116-118
eighteen standard Boxes, 85-87; also see: Box
Einstein, Albert, 14, 302,504
emotional body, 90-91
emotions vs. feelings, 179-181, 492
encoding messages, 161-163, map of, 162
enemy (enemies)
Gremlin is not, 496
men as, 60-61
“there is no,” 18-20
within yourself, 442
energy. 261-262, 263, 457-459
energetic (or spiritual) body, 90-91
energetic space, 510; also see: physical space, space
Everything and Nothing, 271-273, 299-300, map of, 268
evolution,
of consciousness, 18
of culture, 417-418
and flying instructions, 480-482, Map of Flying, 481
your job in, 54-55
nonlinear, 339-340
and “now,” 313
also see: matrix building, edgework, parallel culture
Expand the Box, 492
expansive context, 492
expansive learning, 13-15, 492-493
expectations, 493
experiential reality, 493; also see: verbal reality
experimenting, 7-8
extraordinary human love, 119-120
extraordinary human relationship,
and choosing “who” to talk to, 204-205
and clarity about nits, 143
cleansing the temple, 333-334
and do-overs, 207
ending an, 217-220, 473
experiments for creating, 209-216
and the “Italian thing,” 205-207
and nonlinear creation, 80, 200-202, 209, 228, 284, 482, 514
and ignorance, 214-215
preventing of, 109-110
and soft skills, 120-124
success of, 219-220
F
family, see: parenting
fear of fear, 99-101, 228-230
feedback,
accurate “x” on map, 50
from guide / team, 7, 24, 69, 97, 121-123, 374, 385, 472
from partner, 89, 154, 183, 189-190, 207, 216, 285
for Rapid Learning, 123, Map of, 191, 493
and soft skills, 121-124, map of, 122
from universe, 4, 121-123, 143, 191, 416
feeding,
distractions, 103, 261-262, 411, 459
extraordinary relationship, 400, 432-433, 457, 567, 492, map of, 200
gameworld, 375-376, 488
gorilla, 292-293
irritations, 204
heart, 207-209, 219, 486
intellectual body, 211-212
marshmallow zone, 222-224
Principles, 142, 274, 333, 339, 395, 402, 511
soul, 207-209, 216, 219, 458, 486
vampire entities, 43, 44, 211, 326
world, 410
also see: Gremlin feeding
feelings,
and Archetypes, 355-356, Map of, 355
vs. emotions, 179-181, 492
Four Feelings, Map of, 92
hurting, 196
in Western culture, 493-494
initializing, 355-357
Mixing Feelings, 97-99, Map of, 98
New Map of Four Feelings, 96
Old Map of Four Feelings, 95
Phase 1 / Phase 2 work, 101-102, 178, 194
radical responsibility for, 317-318
and stellating archetypes, 102
firewalking, 69, 178
Five Kinds of S
peaking, 170-173, Map of, 171
flat earth, flat world, 250; also see: Map of Maps
flying instructions, 480-482
force of nature, 494; also see: Principles, Shaw
four bodies, 89-91, 494
Edgework for, 229
listening in, 168-170
Map of, 90
Map of Detecting Messages in the, 168
Map of Four Kinds of Messages, 169
Four Feelings, Map of, 92
Four Feelings (new map), Map of, 96
Four Feelings (old map), Map of, 95
Four Feelings Mixed, Map of, 98
Four Kinds of Intimacy, Map of, 235
Four Kinds of Listening, 163-168, 505, Map of, 165
Four Kinds of Messages, 168-170, Map of, 169
Four Secrets of Bringing Your Life to Life, Map of, 228
Free Prize Inside (Godin), 221
free will,
and Archetypal opportunities, 461
and conscious purposes, 77
and destiny, 372, 376-377
and evolution, 223, 311, 468
and God, 74
and peer acceptance, 250-251
Freud, Sigmund, 5, 484
Fritz, Robert, 491
From Magical Child to Magical Teen (Pearce), 460
Fuller, R. Buckminster, 2, 507
G
Games, Three Kinds of, Map of, 365
gameworld,
as laboratory, 373-375, 487-488
Map of, 376
and Principles, 375-377, 494-495
also see: center, restricting sphincters
gap,
and beliefs, 134
and Box, 83-84
and childraising skills, 453
between domains, 265
between hi-lo tech, 232 and 233
between moments, 239-241
between partners, map of, 400
and reactions, 14
and sanity, 80
in seamlessness, 378
in space, 139
staying in the, 495
and stories, 96
and technology, 479
and thoughts, 180-181
in time, 239-241
between urges / choices, 312
between Western culture / Countenance, 417-418
Garden of Woman (Paradise), 269-270, 303-304, 307, 394, 479
gender culture, 265, 268-269, 297, 453, 462-463, 469-470
Gerrold, David, 18
“get killed but don’t die,” 273
Gifts of Unknown Things (Watson), 88
giving your center away,
and adaptive behavior, 159-160, 173-175
and co-dependent behavior, 159-160, 173-175
and getting it back, 462
and losing it, 159-160, 173-175
to patriarchy, 358
also see: center, centering
Go! (in Rapid Learning), Map of, 191
Goddess Archetype, 259, 280, 302-304, 419, 420-426, 495
Godin, Seth, 221, 492
Göbel, Johann, 511
going stellar, 495; also see: core skills
Gold, E. J., 323, 327, 352, 427
good vs. bad as Shadow Principle, 321
good boy, 24, 46, 71, 86, 131, 205, 277, 293, 298, 305
“good” feelings, 92-97
Radiant Joy Brilliant Love Page 87
