Radiant Joy Brilliant Love

by Clinton Callahan

father and, 359

  freedom from, 359

  as guilt, 266

  as low drama, 36-37, 183-184, 217

  nothing changes with, 38, 60

  ordinary relationship and, 325-326

  Parent ego state and, 34

  partner and, 204

  praise / manipulation and, 34, 456

  and projection, 432

  and responsibility, 60, 82, 111-112, 175

  as Shadow Principle, 361

  and voices, 114

  as victim story, 319

  bonding, 68-69

  boundaries,

  vs. clarity, 194-195

  with children, 195-198

  making, 192-200, 305

  Box, 487

  and Archetypal Love, 251

  and beliefs, 134-135, 487

  and child’s flexibility, 152

  crystallization of, 177

  distinction between you, 83-84

  and edges, 224-226

  expanding your, 85-88

  and feedback, 472

  ___free zone, 327-328

  gets hooked, 137

  and intimacy, 323

  and liquid state, 126-128

  Map of 18 Standard Boxes, 85-87

  Map of the Box, 81

  Map of Boxes Come in Layers, 84

  and Map of Flying, 481

  and marshmallow zone, 222-224

  mechanics, 82, 196-197, 480, 487

  and mechanicality, 131

  Neanderthalean, 305-306

  and nit picking, 143-144

  and recoil, 435-436

  is right, 202-204

  and self-fogging, 344

  and self-sitting, 402-403

  taking responsibility for, 85

  brain chemistry, 104-105

  Bright Principles,

  and Archetypal Love, 250, 338-339

  and Archetpyal Man, 269

  and Archetypal Relationship, 312, 331-333, maps of, 312, 314, 332, and 401

  and Archetypal Woman, 281

  and Authenticity, 129-130, Map of, 129

  and being happy, 204

  and conscious identification, 497

  and cultural evolution, 418

  and destiny, 96, 172, 250, 296, 366, 372-373, 490-491, 514

  and discussion, 142

  and energetic intimacy, 235

  and forces of nature, 204, 363-364, 487, 507

  and gameworlds, 297, 373-377, map of, 376, 495, 511

  and Gremlin, 204, 431

  and high drama (Map of Possibility), 361, 496-497

  and holding space, 304, 412, 497

  and Possibility, 490, 505

  and Possibility Manager, 506

  and responsibility, 142, 364, 500, 509

  and responsible stories, 509, 512

  and rite of passage, 492

  and slave or servant, 296, 312, 366, 491

  and Stellating Archetypes, 353-355, Map of, 354

  and terminology, 330, 363-364

  and trainers, 72, 511, 491

  and upperworld, 347-349, maps of, 350 and 361

  and Winning Happening, 139, 172, 351, 365-366, 515, Map of, 365

  also see: Adult, destiny, Possibility Manager, Shadow Principles, Map of Possibility, upperworld

  Bright world, 487

  broken heart, 257-259, also see: wound(s)

  Buckaroo Banzai (film), 203

  Buddha, 179

  building matrix, see: matrix building

  bullshit, 271, and Gremlin, 139; also see: cowshit

  bullshit detector, 6

  C

  Callahan, Harry, 139

  Castaneda, Carlos, 377, 510

  Cathexis Institute, 92, 494

  cathexis vs. catharsis,

  and Archetypal relationship, 334, 367

  and attention, 262-263

  and building matrix, 23

  and distinctions vs. boundaries, 193

  and Goddess, 304

  and Gremlin, 331, 367

  and low drama, 186

  and nits, 144

  and Phase 2 feelings work, 101-102

  and problem ownership, 161

  and Spiritual Warrior, 297

  center

  of being, 173, 486

  of gameworld, 373-377, 487-488

  of Labyrinth (E. J. Gold), 312, 412, 426-427

  physical, 504

  centering, 173-176

  and being centered, 462, 486

  and Countenance, 411-412

  and feeling, 177

  Map of, 174

  also see: giving your center away

  Certainty, A Dirge for, (C.C.), 257

  Chalice and the Blade, (Eisler), 54

  changing, 79, 116

  Changed Results, Map of, 202

  Child ego state, 34-35

  Child-level responsibility, 316

  child raising, see: parenting

  children, see: parenting

  chocolate,

  and adoration, 201, 428, 458

  and Gremlin, 40, 116, 186, 370, 379

  and longing, 415

  and psychic sex, 447

  and scarcity, 363

  and sex,

  and substitutes for Love, 443-444, 479

  Chödron, Pema, 288

  choices, 218, 514

  choosing, 473, 488

  clicker, 488

  coaching, 488

  co-dependent behavior, see: giving away your center

  Coincidence Control Center, 468

  collaboration, 351, 365

  comfort zone, 81, 331

  “commit first,” 218, 366; also see: Pirate agreement

  communication

  Adult responsible, 154-163

  completion loop, 157-159

  about feelings, 176-183

  love and, 154, 473

  Map of, 162

  twelve roadblocks to (Gordon), 156-157

  Communicator Archetype, 290, 488

  competence, see: Soft Skills, Map of Learning, 122

  competition, 363-364, map of, 365

  complaining, 36-37, 78-79, 184-186, 210, 217, 226, 285, 287, 331, 354, 442, 499

  completion loop, 154, 157-159, 179, 280, 474; also see: Requiem

  compromise, 365

  computer sex, see: Internet sex

  cooperation, 365

  confusion, 21, 87

  conscious competence, 122

  Conscious Ear, The (Tomatis), 163

  conscious incompetence, 122

  conscious theater, 76, 281, 285, 320, 363, 488-489, 507; also see: high drama

  consciousness

  is everywhere, 16, 19

  freedom and, 52, 59, 85, 137, 149, 432, 473, 507

  justification and, 326

  level of, 509

  sex and, 428

  of spaces, 141

  source of, 18-20, 250

  consequence,

  and actions, 6, 227, 458

  and Box, 186

  and communication, 155, 164

  and decisions, 187-188, 197, 276, 337, 414

  and feedback, 121

  and Gremlin, 371

  and learning, 25

  and patriarchy, 2, 56

  and responsibility, 62, 85, 111-112, 175, 317, 500

  and Restricting Sphincters, 375-377, Map of, 376

  and rite of passage, 65

  and stories, 256-257, 273, 315

  and sword of clarity, 299

  and Western culture, 58, 197, 296, 343

  also see: responsibility

  conservation of energy, see: cathexis

  contact, 412-413, 489

  context, 489

  Archetypal, 310-313

  defensive, 490

  expansive, 492

  possibility, 5-6, 177-178

  shift of, 67, 321

  core skills of a Possibility Manager, the seven, 489

  0. shifting identity to Possibility Manager, 33, 275-277

  1. staying unhookable, 136-140, 514

  2. being centered, 173-
176, 486

  3. contact, 412-413, 489

  4. holding space, 140-142, 497

  5. feeling Archetypal feelings (going stellar), 495

  6. creating possibility, 485, 488, 489, 490, 497, 504

  7. selling possibility, 489

  Countenance, 393-397, 489

  experiment in, 405-406

  Map of vs. Archetypal Love, 414

  Map of requirements for, 407

  obstacles to, 416-417

  requirements for, 406-417

  works, 479

  cowshit, 271-273; also see: bullshit

  Creating (Fritz), 491

  creating,

  feels like, 228, 482

  possibility, 490

  relationship, 80, 209, 228, 333, 482, 502, 509, 514

  Creator (magician or sorceress) Archetype, 279, 299-301, 490

  culture, see: Western culture, gender culture

  D

  dangerous questions, 490

  dating, 206

  Daughter of Fire (Tweedie), 68

  Death and Resurrection Show (Taylor), 22

  decisions,

  in adult communication, 161

  and sadness, 187-188

  vs. reasons, 218

  yes or no, 187-188

  declaring, 252-255, 413-414, 490

  decoding messages, 161-163, map of, 162

  defensive,

  Box strategy, 82-83, 137, 170-172, 312, 490

  context, 490

  learning, 13, 490

  also see: Gremlin, expansive

  deity, 142, 254, 423; also see: Principles, space, holding space, navigating space

  delight, 481-482

  denial, 130-131, 361, 362, 364

  and Gremlin, 371, 445, 473, 490

  depression, map of, 98, 104-105, 188

  destiny (true purpose),

  in action, 372-377

  and attention, 485

  and Box, 224

  and Bright Principles, 96, 485, 490-491, 507, 514

  and building matrix, 250

  and conscious theater, 320, 488-489

  Distilling__ Process, 372, 491

  and edgework, 224, 229

  and evolution, 206

  and extraordinary relationship, 326

  and free will, 74

  and gameworlds, 487-488

  and high drama, 366, map of, 361, 496-497

  and patriarchy, 59

  and Phase 2 of feelings work, 182, 186

  and possibility speaking, 506

  serving your, 372, 376-377

  song lyrics about, 208

  and soul (-food), 208-209, 372-377, 510

  and stellating Archetypes, 354-355, map of, 354

  and terminology, 330

  and trainers, 192, 330, 511

  and what matters, 190

  Detecting Messages,168-170, Maps of, 168 and 169

  Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems (Galileo), 68

  discovery,

  listening,166-168, map of, 165

  and reorientation, 14

  speaking, 172-173, map of, 171

  discussion, 170-172, map of, 171

  Disk of Nothing, 481, 491; also see: hooked, unhookable, Nothing

  dissipative structures (Prigogine), 499

  distilling destiny, 491; also see: destiny

  distinctions

  and boundaries, 192-193

  and the Box, 83

  and clarity, 17, 194-195

  making, 17-18

  Relationship ___, 18

  do-it list, 288-289

  do-overs, 491

  Doer (Warrior or Warrioress) Archetype, 491-492

  Double Space-Holding, 269, Map of, 294

  drama, see: high drama, low drama

  Drama Triangle (Karpman), see: low drama

  drivers, 130-131

  Dune (Herbert), 114

  Durckheim, Graf Karlfried, 22

  Dyadic Cyclone (Lilly), 468

  E

  Early Adolescent Relationship, Map of, 398

  earth, flat map vs. round map, see: Map of Maps

  Eat-A-Bug Cookbook, The (Gordon), 234

  ecstasy, 90-91

  Edgework, 221-241, 296, 325, 327, 405-406, 492, Map of, 225

  ego state(s), 32-35

  in Map of Archetypal/Archetypal Relationship, 332

  in Map of Archetypal/Ordinary Relationship, 314

  Map of Adult, 117

  Map of Parent Adult Child, 34

  relocating to adult, 116-118

  eighteen standard Boxes, 85-87; also see: Box

  Einstein, Albert, 14, 302,504

  emotional body, 90-91

  emotions vs. feelings, 179-181, 492

  encoding messages, 161-163, map of, 162

  enemy (enemies)

  Gremlin is not, 496

  men as, 60-61

  “there is no,” 18-20

  within yourself, 442

  energy. 261-262, 263, 457-459

  energetic (or spiritual) body, 90-91

  energetic space, 510; also see: physical space, space

  Everything and Nothing, 271-273, 299-300, map of, 268

  evolution,

  of consciousness, 18

  of culture, 417-418

  and flying instructions, 480-482, Map of Flying, 481

  your job in, 54-55

  nonlinear, 339-340

  and “now,” 313

  also see: matrix building, edgework, parallel culture

  Expand the Box, 492

  expansive context, 492

  expansive learning, 13-15, 492-493

  expectations, 493

  experiential reality, 493; also see: verbal reality

  experimenting, 7-8

  extraordinary human love, 119-120

  extraordinary human relationship,

  and choosing “who” to talk to, 204-205

  and clarity about nits, 143

  cleansing the temple, 333-334

  and do-overs, 207

  ending an, 217-220, 473

  experiments for creating, 209-216

  and the “Italian thing,” 205-207

  and nonlinear creation, 80, 200-202, 209, 228, 284, 482, 514

  and ignorance, 214-215

  preventing of, 109-110

  and soft skills, 120-124

  success of, 219-220

  F

  family, see: parenting

  fear of fear, 99-101, 228-230

  feedback,

  accurate “x” on map, 50

  from guide / team, 7, 24, 69, 97, 121-123, 374, 385, 472

  from partner, 89, 154, 183, 189-190, 207, 216, 285

  for Rapid Learning, 123, Map of, 191, 493

  and soft skills, 121-124, map of, 122

  from universe, 4, 121-123, 143, 191, 416

  feeding,

  distractions, 103, 261-262, 411, 459

  extraordinary relationship, 400, 432-433, 457, 567, 492, map of, 200

  gameworld, 375-376, 488

  gorilla, 292-293

  irritations, 204

  heart, 207-209, 219, 486

  intellectual body, 211-212

  marshmallow zone, 222-224

  Principles, 142, 274, 333, 339, 395, 402, 511

  soul, 207-209, 216, 219, 458, 486

  vampire entities, 43, 44, 211, 326

  world, 410

  also see: Gremlin feeding

  feelings,

  and Archetypes, 355-356, Map of, 355

  vs. emotions, 179-181, 492

  Four Feelings, Map of, 92

  hurting, 196

  in Western culture, 493-494

  initializing, 355-357

  Mixing Feelings, 97-99, Map of, 98

  New Map of Four Feelings, 96

  Old Map of Four Feelings, 95

  Phase 1 / Phase 2 work, 101-102, 178, 194

  radical responsibility for, 317-318

  and stellating archetypes, 102

  firewalking, 69, 178

  Five Kinds of S
peaking, 170-173, Map of, 171

  flat earth, flat world, 250; also see: Map of Maps

  flying instructions, 480-482

  force of nature, 494; also see: Principles, Shaw

  four bodies, 89-91, 494

  Edgework for, 229

  listening in, 168-170

  Map of, 90

  Map of Detecting Messages in the, 168

  Map of Four Kinds of Messages, 169

  Four Feelings, Map of, 92

  Four Feelings (new map), Map of, 96

  Four Feelings (old map), Map of, 95

  Four Feelings Mixed, Map of, 98

  Four Kinds of Intimacy, Map of, 235

  Four Kinds of Listening, 163-168, 505, Map of, 165

  Four Kinds of Messages, 168-170, Map of, 169

  Four Secrets of Bringing Your Life to Life, Map of, 228

  Free Prize Inside (Godin), 221

  free will,

  and Archetypal opportunities, 461

  and conscious purposes, 77

  and destiny, 372, 376-377

  and evolution, 223, 311, 468

  and God, 74

  and peer acceptance, 250-251

  Freud, Sigmund, 5, 484

  Fritz, Robert, 491

  From Magical Child to Magical Teen (Pearce), 460

  Fuller, R. Buckminster, 2, 507

  G

  Games, Three Kinds of, Map of, 365

  gameworld,

  as laboratory, 373-375, 487-488

  Map of, 376

  and Principles, 375-377, 494-495

  also see: center, restricting sphincters

  gap,

  and beliefs, 134

  and Box, 83-84

  and childraising skills, 453

  between domains, 265

  between hi-lo tech, 232 and 233

  between moments, 239-241

  between partners, map of, 400

  and reactions, 14

  and sanity, 80

  in seamlessness, 378

  in space, 139

  staying in the, 495

  and stories, 96

  and technology, 479

  and thoughts, 180-181

  in time, 239-241

  between urges / choices, 312

  between Western culture / Countenance, 417-418

  Garden of Woman (Paradise), 269-270, 303-304, 307, 394, 479

  gender culture, 265, 268-269, 297, 453, 462-463, 469-470

  Gerrold, David, 18

  “get killed but don’t die,” 273

  Gifts of Unknown Things (Watson), 88

  giving your center away,

  and adaptive behavior, 159-160, 173-175

  and co-dependent behavior, 159-160, 173-175

  and getting it back, 462

  and losing it, 159-160, 173-175

  to patriarchy, 358

  also see: center, centering

  Go! (in Rapid Learning), Map of, 191

  Goddess Archetype, 259, 280, 302-304, 419, 420-426, 495

  Godin, Seth, 221, 492

  Göbel, Johann, 511

  going stellar, 495; also see: core skills

  Gold, E. J., 323, 327, 352, 427

  good vs. bad as Shadow Principle, 321

  good boy, 24, 46, 71, 86, 131, 205, 277, 293, 298, 305

  “good” feelings, 92-97