for new ideas / ways of being, 3
for planning with attention, 133
for practice, 112
for possibility, 506
for rite of passage, 68
for using problems, 507
for war, beliefs against, 134
for Winning Happening, 515
for women’s liberation, 64
meme, 21, 211, 214, 487, 501, 513; also see: thoughtware, Box
memetic virus, 21, 403, 501-502
memetic weeding, 63-64
memetics, 251, 502
memories, 447
men’s culture, see: gender culture
mental-map, see: thought-map
meta-conversation, 149-153, 502, Map of, 150
middleworld, 347-349
mind,
and beliefs, 136
and Box, 226
chatter, 157
creative, 75-76
and “cool ideas,” 227
and experience, 407
and feelings, 178
and intellectual body, 502
and myth, 343
and other places to be, 411
and perfect concepts, 104-105
and schizophrenia, 464
and Western culture, 418, 502
women’s, 336
mindset, see: Box
minimize now, 239-240, 326, 409, 412, 484, 502; also see: now, time
misidentification, 56-57, 251
mixing feelings,
anger with fear, 86
anger, sadness, joy and fear, 97-99
and Archetypes, 493-494
and broken heart, 258
clarity about, 176
create confusion, 43
disempowering and, 188
and emotional Edgework, 229
and inner navigation, 502-503
joy with fear, 87
learning to stop, 182
Map of, 98
and self-sitting, 402
and pain, 265
psychological breakdown and, 99
rage with joy, 86
sadness and anger, 83, 87, 188
sadness and joy, 86
schadenfreude, 99, 229, 503
terror and sadness, 86
Möbius strip, 64
modern culture, see: Western culture
moment, see: now
morphogenetic field (Sheldrake), 376-377, 503; also see: liquid state
Mother Graduation Party, 358, 461
N
naïveté, 87, 103, 352, 389, 490, 496
and asking for what you want, 189
and authority, 24
and boundaries, 193
of / around children, 100-101, 398
danger of, 497
disillusioned with, 490
in expansive learning, 15
of feeling glad, 94, map of, 95
and Gremlin, 352
the Goddess and, 280
infatuation and, 32
innocence and, 325
patriarchal distortions and, 59
about psychic sex, 447
in relationship, 313
and stories, 389
and sword work, 299
in underworld, 351
about what you don’t know, 23-24
navigating
inner, 97, 177-178, 497-498
Map of the Space of Relationship, 2, 140
space, 140-142, 165, 167, 253-255, 306, 426-427, 432, 485, 503, 506,
also see: space
needs,
and actions, 215
asking for, 189-192, 202, 273
and attention, 260
and Box, 77, 327, 372
change, 218
childhood, 31, 115-116, 492
and emotional reactions, 181
and gameworlds, 487-488
and Goddess, 423
of heart and soul, 207-209
and holding space, 412
ordinary, 119
partner’s, 212
physical and psychological, 56, 168, 432
and problems, 60
and reciprocal exchange, 338
and relationship energetics, 336, 420, 427
and the trainer, 506
your own, 205
“negative” feelings, 92-97
neutrality,
and Adult ego state, 34
and everything that happens, 315, 360, 361, 488-489, 500, 508, 512
and experience, 95-96, 256
and facts, 290
and feedback, 191
and feelings, 96
and liquid state, 127-128
and men, 60
and noticing, 55
and pain, 91, 179
and stories, 290
and the sword of clarity, 305
and universe, 77
and women’s clothing, 293
new age, 348
new territory, 17, 503
nice boy, 24, 46, 71, 86, 131, 205, 277, 293, 298, 305
nice girl, 46, 86, 131, 205, 277, 292-293
Nine Cow methodology, 388-392
Nine Cow Story (Callahan), 386-388
nit, education, 143-149
no reason,
appreciate people for, 96
ask for help for, 192
be different for, 446
being happy for, 210
being together for, 199, 323
bless people for, 95
body is lovable for, 103
creating for, 201
cry / laugh for, 478
enter extraordinary relationship for, 219
feel joy for, 286
Gremlin destroys for, 371, 496
let kindness prevail for, 241
love for, 120
make decisions for, 218
practice for, 507
rub feet for, 116
wanting what we want for, 190
also see: reasons
nondual perspective, 313
nonlinearity,
and actions, 200-207, 325-326
and assumptions, 503
and empowerment, 14
and Gremlin, 371-372
in Manmaking, 286-287
and meta-conversations, 152
and relationship, 80, 209, 228, 333, 482, 502, 509, 514
also see: linearity
normal neurotic listening, 164-165, 170-171
Nothing,
and Creator Archetype, 271-273, 300
Disk of, 491
is bigger than Everything, 271-273, 299-300, map of, 268
Men are, 267, 275, 486
Sitting There Together With (poem), 483
not knowing, 6, 275
not okay to feel, 93-94, map of, 95
now,
and change, 117
and decisions, 503-504
and delight, 482
and doing, 140, 489
and evolution, 313
and experience, 21
and feeling happy, 482
and gaps, 239-241
and love, 21
and the miraculous, 124
and past or future, 283-284
and power, 116
and presence, 458
and responsibility, 484, 502
and sanctuary, 443
and stories, 362
and time, 118
O
objectivity,
and Archetypal Love, 253, 316
and artwork, 431, 501
and attention, 104
and beliefs, 135
benefits of, 192
and feelings, 182
and is-glue, 498
and reactions, 149
and reality, 508
and relationship, 513
and sanity, 192
and subverting the patriarchy, 55
and a third intelligence, 473
and writing, 20
obstacles, 416-417
Of Water and Spirit (Somé), 65
okay-ness (Transactional Analysis), 37, 504, 509, 514
one team, 1
8-19, 171-173
ordinary human communication, 32-35
ordinary human love, 29-32
ordinary human relationship, 29-32
Handbook for Creating, 38-50
Handbook for Creating, in Family, 455-456
Map of __vs. Archetypal Relationship, 268
organizations,
and change, 128
definition of, 469, 504
and domination, 52
and gameworlds, 375-377
innovative, 117
and matriarchy, 51
and meta-conversations, 149-152
and Principles, map of, 400
and resolution to end corporate personhood, 85
and rigid structures, 56
orthogonality, 80, 502, 504, 507
Outdoor Survival Skills (Olsen), 477
Overwhelm, Map of, 113
P
pain
consciously creating, 18
changing to rocket fuel, 265-266
from feedback, 123
vs. feelings, 179
of learning, 178
vs. suffering, 91
painting doorways, 425, 504
paradise, 66, 303, 315, 386-387, 394-395, 425, 435, 477, 479-480
Paradoxical Commandments, The (Keith), 288
parallel culture, 63, 316, 504, Map of, 316
Parent Effectiveness Training (Gordon), 156
Parent ego state, 33, 34, 114, 118, 484
parenting (child raising, children)
alternative approaches to, 54-55
and Archetypal to Child relationship, 453-454, map of, 314
and assumptions about children, 189
and attention, 175, 239, 457-459
and authority, 160
and being-with children, 198-200
and blaming other parent, 42
and child’s exuberance, 265
and communicating about problems, 160-163, map of, 160
and completion loops, 157-159, maps of, 158 and 162
and computers, 231
and conscious expectations, 386-392, 493
Dad’s place in, 59-60
and Edgework experiments, 232-234, 513
and evolution of self, 397-401
and extraordinary relationship, 210, 212, 213, 215-216
and fear of children, 100-101
and feelings training, 99
and grades, 344
with heart / soul food, 207-209
and holding space, 375, 412, 454-457
and influences from parents, 41, 130, 293
and irresponsible Archetypes, 484
and letting go, 460-463
and low drama, 185
and making boundaries, 193, 195-198
and making time, 459-460
and meta-conversations, 152-153
and nuclear family, 469-470
and ordinary family relationship, 455-456
in the patriarchy, 52-54, 58-59
a problem child, 48
and radiant joy brilliant love, 451-453
and rescuing, 37
and rite of passage, 66, 102
and sexuality, 293
and tantrums, 299-300
and trusting partner, 239
as space of possibility, 322
and stories, 300-301
and verbal reality, 513
and your vision, 238
and Western culture, 496
and what woman wants, 337
when something is wrong, 167
and whining, 215-216
underworld and, 347
past-life vow, 376; also see: restricting sphincters
pathological liar, 130, 265-266
patriarchy,
and Archetypal Man / Woman, 267, 268-269, 329, 359
and matriarchy, 51-52
and men, 2, 57-60, 69, 73, 295-296, 486-487
noticing the, 55-56
options not offered by, 54
reason for, 268
and rite of passage, 65, 67
subverting the, 55, 359
and Technopenuriaphobia (TPP), 513
and women, 3, 60-64, 68, 69, 73, 265, 279, 290, 358, 482
and Western culture, 52-54, 67, 302, 305-306, 353
pattern disintegration, 21-22
Pearce, Joseph Chilton, 25, 460
penis, see: magic lamp
permission,
to allow healings, 417
to bring life to life, 228, 491
to create success, 505
for feelings, 92, 188
to grant yourself__, 505
to learn, 21, 82, 126
to be intimate, 105
to love, 239, 356
to be passionate, 205
persecutor, 35-38, 184, 504
personality, see: Box
Phase 1 and Phase 2 of feelings work, 101-102, 194
Phoenix Effect, 452-453, Map of the, 453
physical center, 173-175, 504; also see: center
physical body, 90-91
physical space, 140, 510; also see: energetic space, space
pig-making, 45, 282, 290, 388-392
Pirate (responsible Pirate), 279, 295-296, 505
Pirate agreement, 505
Pirate … Man, 295-302
Pirate … Woman, 278-281, 482
planet to star, see: stellating
playing full out, 477
position, 86, 364, 371, 499, 500
of being at source, 266
of being right, 131, 207, 299, 487
belief system and, 83, 86, 134, 487
Box and, 82, 105
with children, 152
defending a, 138-139
definition of, 505
in a game, 365
getting off any, 491
Gremlin and, 326, 371
a haughty, 214
intimacy and, 488
living within a, 480, map of, 481
low drama victim, 210, 256, 290, 488
of necessity, 316i
in ordinary relationship, 39
in patriarchy, 51, 57-58
rigid, 435
war and, 487
“positive” feelings, 92-97
Possibility,
avoiding, 79-80
as a Bright Principle, 505, 361
context of, 177-178
creating, 152, 360-366
listening, 164-166, 505, map of, 165
Map of, 361
paint brush, 504
speaking, 172, 506, map of, 171
stone, 506
team, 506; also see: meeting technology
trainer, 506-507
wand, 139, 150, 507
possibility tool belt, see: tool belt
Possibility Laboratory (training), 4-5, 173, 498-499
Possibility Management, 5-7, 484-485, terms, 484-515, 505-506
Possibility Manager, 506
power, 116- 118, 336-337
Practice,
and Archetypal intimacy, 325-327
and attention, 225, 239, 260-261, 294, 411, 457-459
and Box reactions, 144, 181, 258, 328, 487, 509
and being a space, 413, 416, 485
and being irresistible, 334-337
and “being killed and not dying,” 273
and being Pirate … Man, 295-308
and being Pirate … Woman, 278-281
and being-with, 411
as a Bright Principle, 487
and bringing life to life, 228
and bringing Woman to life, 427-430
and building matrix, 15-16, 229, 501, 507
and centering, 173-176
and communications, 154-163
and conserving energy, 262-263
and Edgework, 221-230, 492
and feeling communication, 176-183, 188
and feeling with a coach, 97
and the Goddess, 424
and gorilla basics, 291-294
and Gremlin, 368-370, 495-496
and heaven, 254
an
d holding double space, 269, 294
and holding space, 444
and inner navigating, 97, 497-498
until last breath, 214-215, 337
and listening, 153-160
and low drama, 185-186, 499-500
and making boundaries, 192-199
and Manmaking, 281-291
and meta-conversations, 149-153
and navigating Heart of Labyrinth, 254
and “Nine-Cowing,” 386-392
and ordinary relationship, 38-50
and overwhelm, 113
and pain, 265-266
and patience, 23
and radiant joy, 15, 441-444, 477, 478-480
and responsibility, 111-113
and rite of passage and, 70
and self-sitting, 401-403, 509
and simply noticing, 55-56
and soft skills, 20, 120-124
and speaking, 170-173, 237
in a study group, 7
and thinking loops, 105
and together-sitting, 403-404, 513
and trying your best, 8
and Western culture, 233-234
and writing, 20
praise, 34
Prajnanpad, Swami, 70, 313, 508
presence,
accumulating, 341
authenticity and, 129
being, 132
being together and, 273
with children, 90, 198-200
contact and, 413
energetic body and, 90, 494, 510
feminine, 291, 303, 450
of Goddess, 280, 294, 420, 421
of God, 337
of Gremlin, 495-496
growth of, 132
of love, 228, 253, 434
masculine, 304
of mind, 214, 280, 299
of partner, 238, 333, 335, 434, 458, 473, 478
of presence, 394
relationship intelligence and, 30
of saints, 91, 235
primate tendencies, see: gorilla basics
Princess Bride (film), 179, 249
Principles,
as Archetypal forces of nature, 4, 141, 331, 364, 507
and Archetypal Man, 269
and artifacts, 431
and authenticity, 129-130
called into a space, 142, 204, 253, 296
and choice, 366
of communication, 154
conscious / unconscious, 255, 361
and discussion, 170-172
and feelings, 96, 353-354
and Gremlin, 185, 217, 315, 366-372, 473
high / low drama and, 154, 184, 361, 496-497, 499-500
of love / friendship / sex, 247-248
Principle of, 249
and possibility speaking, 172
and receiving appreciation / gratitude, 333
responsible / irresponsible, 142, 215, 316, 361, 364
and self-sitting, 403
and Spiritual Warrior or Warrioress, 297
and trainers, 72-73
voices of, 403
and Western culture, 330, 418
also see: Archetypal Love, destiny, force of nature, Hidden Purpose, holding space, Map of Possibility
problems,
and intimacy, 507, 514-515
“no such thing as,” 315, 360, 489, 507
and Problem Ownership, 159-161, Map of, 160
and paradise, 315
as stepping stones, 332
Radiant Joy Brilliant Love Page 89
