Friends In Spy Places

by Diane Henders

  “I’m ready. It was just a technicality. And thanks to you…” I dropped a kiss on his lips. “…I got ’way more than the eight hours of sleep I was supposed to get.”

  Sitting up with every intention of getting up and dressed, I stole just one more appreciative glance at the tattooed muscular body displayed so temptingly on my sheets.

  Damn, he looked good.

  Arnie’s lips curved up in a slow smile as he regarded me with heavy-lidded eyes that promised sinful pleasure to come. “Like what ya see, darlin’?”

  “Oh, hell yeah.”

  I succumbed, leaning down to run a hungry hand over his chest and steal another kiss.

  Mmm.

  Just one more kiss…

  Maybe Dermott would get pissed off enough to have a stroke. If he was in the hospital his briefing would be called off…

  The phone rang again.

  “For chrissake!” I rolled off Arnie and grabbed the handset. “I’m on my way, okay?” I barked. “Just take a pill!”

  Kane’s amused baritone warmed my ear. “Well, all right; as long as you’re on your way.”

  “Oh.” I flopped back on the bed. “Hi, John. Sorry; I thought it was Dermott getting up my ass again.”

  Kane hesitated. “Oh. Well… I was calling to see if you and Arnie could come over around three this afternoon. Daniel and I are feeling much better, so we’ll be leaving for Calgary around three-thirty. But it sounds as though you have enough on your plate today.”

  Something in his voice told me this was more important than he was admitting.

  Shit.

  I thumped my head against the pillow a couple of times. “You’re right, it’s shaping up to be one of those days. But I should be able to make it…” I did some rapid mental calculations. “I’ll be at Lola’s this afternoon and I could leave there a few minutes early to get to your place at three; and I can probably push my three-fifteen meeting a bit…” Wincing, I imagined Nora’s reaction if I was late.

  Screw it. I’d call her at three-fifteen and tell her I was on my way.

  “Don’t worry if you can’t make it. It’s not urgent,” Kane said, but there was still that odd intonation in his voice. “I’ll give you a call later if we don’t connect today.”

  Maybe I was imagining things. Maybe everything was fine.

  Maybe he wanted to discuss returning to the Department. My hopes rose, only to seesaw back into anxiety.

  Or maybe he wanted to tell me he wasn’t coming back. He’d want to have either of those conversations in person…

  Keeping my tone light, I said, “Okay, thanks. I’ll try to make it, but if I don’t see you before you leave, have a safe trip.” I disconnected and turned to Arnie. “That was John. He wants us to go over to his place around three. He and Daniel are leaving for Calgary at three-thirty.”

  “Okay. I’ll come to Lola’s shop around two-thirty, an’ we can go from there as soon’s you’re done.”

  “Do you know where Up and Coming is?”

  Hellhound grinned. “It’s a small town, darlin’. If there’s more than one sex shop, I’ll just keep checkin’ ’em out ’til I find the right one.” He rolled off the bed, pulling me up along with him. “Ya better get goin’ before Dermott blows a blood vessel.”

  “Ha. I wish.”

  When I tapped on the open door to Dermott’s office, he looked up from his computer with a scowl. “It’s ten-fucking-thirty! What took you?”

  “Sorry,” I said perfunctorily. “I had a call from Kane that delayed me a bit. I got here as soon as I could.”

  Dermott leaned back in his chair, his ruddy complexion darkening in a scowl. “Well, while you were lying around gabbing with your boyfriend, I was handling your real mission and walking your mommy around Sirius Dynamics. Maybe Stemp lets you stroll in here whenever you damn well feel like it, but don’t expect any fucking special treatment from me. If you don’t show some results pronto, I’ll personally file the dereliction of duty charges against you and chuck your special little ass in a special little prison cell for the rest of your special little life.”

  My guts liquefied. He was out for revenge.

  An instant later my fear flashed into rage as usual, propelling me a threatening step forward. “Listen, asshole,” I ground out. “Talking to Kane is my mission. And the day you show me your service record as an agent is the day you get to tell me how to run my ops.” My fear and anger surged higher, my mouth still running off. “If you want to look good with the chain of command, you’ll stay the fuck out of my way and let me get the job done. But if you want to look like a whiny civilian crybaby, you just run and tell them how you think I’m not doing my job right; and one of them with actual field experience will explain to you how missions like these can take weeks or even months to get results.”

  Dermott turned crimson. As he opened his mouth, Holt breezed into the office, swinging the door shut behind him.

  “Hey, Kelly,” he greeted me, then turned to Dermott. “We still on for beers and the hockey game tonight?”

  Dermott relaxed and grinned. “Sure. Good thing you don’t have a bedtime like Kelly here.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Holt asked.

  Dermott’s mocking grin widened. “Stemp pulled her from active because she didn’t get her beauty sleep.”

  Holt frowned. “Yeah… I’m assigned to her project, remember?” He turned to me. “Are you ready to tackle Stiles in the network now?”

  Whew. This was Holt The Okay Guy. I wouldn’t have to strangle anybody in the next five minutes.

  Not Holt, anyway. Dermott was still a distinct possibility.

  With an effort, I let go of my irritation. “As ready as I ever am. Is that what this briefing is about? Do we have a timeframe for getting Rebecca out?”

  “Late tonight or early tomorrow morning,” Dermott said. “Stemp’s barely in the air so we won’t know until after he gets to the hospital in London. This briefing is about the sting op.”

  He was acting professional in front of Holt, but his eyes still glittered with suppressed anger. The gloves were definitely off.

  “Marvelous,” I muttered.

  Holt either failed to register my sarcasm or chose to ignore it. “Yeah, it’ll be great,” he agreed. “I’m betting Grandin’s contact is the key to everything. The rest of Five Eyes is pretty interested in finding out who in the U.S. government gave the order to screw us all over, too.” He grinned, his chest expanding. “And yours truly is going to deliver the whole thing all wrapped up in a pretty bow.”

  Shit, Holt The Magnificent was back.

  “Today I’ll get Grandin to call his contact and say he has you,” Holt went on. “The drop location is a nursing home in Calgary, so he’ll set up the exchange for ten-thirty tomorrow morning. We’ll tie you up and…”

  A wave of claustrophobia drowned out his words.

  “Hang on,” I snapped. “Nobody’s tying me up!”

  “Well, of course not.” Holt gave me an ‘are-you-stupid?’ look. “We’ll put cuffs on you but they won’t be fastened, and you’re going to pretend to be unconscious. That’s why we’re doing it at a nursing home. Nobody will look twice at a limp body in a wheelchair. And don’t worry, we’ll have the site locked down tighter than a nun’s cu-” He bit off the c-word at the last instant and substituted, “…chastity belt.”

  “Okay…” I drew a breath that was supposed to be calming. It didn’t work. I went on, “…but this person must be really high up in the U.S. government to send down orders like that. I can’t see us catching the big boss at the drop. They’re going to send a flunky to pick me up.”

  Holt flushed. “Of course we’re not going to catch the big cheese at the drop! We want to let them take you and see who’s at the end of this chain-”

  “Oh, that’s just fucking marvelous!” I sprang to my feet and unconsciously backed away a couple of paces before I caught myself. Planting my fists on my hips, I scowled at Holt. “Because
, hey, what could possibly go wrong while I’m lying there alone and helpless in their car? These people aren’t idiots! They’re going to check the cuffs, find out they’re unlocked, and tie me up so tight I won’t even be able to…”

  My mind went momentarily blank with fear at the thought but I forced it back on track and stayed loud, hoping Holt and Dermott would hear outrage instead of terror. “And they’ll know they’ve been set up. They won’t lead you anywhere, except to the edge of the cliff they drop me off!”

  “They wouldn’t kill you, idiot,” Holt snapped. “They’ve gone to huge trouble and risk to acquire you. I guarantee that whoever picked you up from Grandin wouldn’t harm a hair on your head until the big boss got everything he wanted from you.”

  “Oh, that’s a nice guarantee,” I snarled. “Remind me to collect on that after I’m fucking dead!”

  Dermott’s palm hit the desk with a nerve-jolting smack. “For chrissake, Kelly, grow a pair! We wanted to let them take you, but the chain of command nixed it because you’re so fucking special. You’ll only be there to lure the buyer into the open, and the team will take him down as soon as he shows. So stop being a fucking whiny crybaby…” He spat my earlier insult back at me. “…and get the hell out of my office.” He turned pointedly back to his computer and began to type.

  Somehow I managed not to lunge over the desk and wrap my hands around his throat.

  “Let me know when you hear from Stemp,” I said instead, and marched out.

  Holt followed. As I turned away, he caught my elbow. “You okay with this?”

  “Do I have a choice?”

  “Well, if you’re so shit-scared you’re going to fuck it up…”

  “Bite me,” I snapped, and stomped down the hallway.

  Chapter 34

  Spider hailed me as I passed his office, and I U-turned and went in.

  “Good morning,” he greeted me cheerfully. “I see we’ve got an espionage kingpin in town.”

  My guts clenched. “Where? Who?”

  His smile vanished. “Sorry, I guess I shouldn’t joke about stuff like that. I was talking about Bob Armstrong.”

  “What about him? What do you mean, you were joking?”

  “I mean he’s lived in Silverside all his life and he doesn’t have any shady connections at all.” Spider grimaced. “Not in espionage, anyway. He cheats on his wife, gets into bar fights every now and then, and rips people off in his renovation business whenever he can get away with it, but that’s it. His wife kicked him out after his latest fling, so it looks as though he and Nora are only casual acquaintances because they’re both stuck at the hotel.”

  “Are you sure there’s no connection between him and Nora?” I demanded.

  “Ninety-nine percent. He’s probably just buttering her up, hoping to get some free meals. He can be charming when he wants to be.”

  “Well, shit. I was hoping this would be my big break in the case.” I sighed. “At least he’s met his match in con artists. Somebody bought Nora’s dinner and drinks last night. Speaking of Nora… Dermott said something about walking her around here this morning. Do you know anything about that?”

  “He gave her a tour and she’s in the boardroom down the hall right now, meeting with the management company. It looks as though she’s trying to learn as much as she can about Sirius Canada.”

  “But she doesn’t own the company,” I protested. “She’s trying to get it back from the government, but I’m surprised Dermott would let her walk in here and poke into everything.”

  “He didn’t.” Spider grinned. “He showed her the offices, just like any other civilian. And she won’t get anything from the management company. They don’t know anything.”

  I let out a breath. “That’s a relief. I don’t trust her any farther than I could throw her.”

  Spider gave me a sympathetic twist of his lips. “This must be really tough for you. Are you…” He hesitated. “…doing okay?”

  My last angst-laden conversation with Nora replayed in my mind, and I winced. “You listened to the audio recording?”

  His eyes widened. “Um, no… should I have? I can do it right now…” He reached for his keyboard.

  I flung out a restraining hand. “No, it’s okay. I just… had an, um… emotional talk with Nora last night, and I was hoping nobody would listen to it and get the wrong idea.”

  Spider’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

  “Well…” Shit, why had I opened my big mouth in the first place? “…I just meant I wouldn’t want anybody to think I was so emotionally involved in the case that I couldn’t do my job.”

  His frown deepened. “But… that’s kind of the whole point, isn’t it? You’re supposed to be convincing her that you’re emotionally involved.”

  Bless Spider and his innocent faith in me.

  I gave him a smile and a shrug. “Yeah. Forget it. Dermott was just… poking at me this morning, so I guess I’m feeling a little defensive.”

  “Don’t worry, Aydan.” Spider gave me his sunny smile. “Everybody knows you’re a top agent. You don’t have to prove anything to anybody.”

  If only that were true.

  “Thanks, Spider.” I gave him the best smile I could fake, and left before my mouth could get me in any more trouble.

  Still replaying the cringe-worthy conversation with Nora in my mind, I slowed as I approached my office.

  Hmmm…

  Moments later, I was dialling the number Dr. Rawling had given me.

  “Hi, it’s Aydan,” I said after his ‘hello’. “I’m sorry to bother you on your vacation…”

  “It’s quite all right. As I told you earlier, you’re not intruding.” His mild voice exuded comfort and reassurance, and I tried to feel comforted and reassured instead of twitchy and creeped out. “How can I help you?” he asked.

  “I have a question about repressed memories.”

  “What would you like to discuss?” The kind interest in his voice made me shudder.

  I summoned my best professional tone. “I’ve been talking to Nora, and I can’t remember a lot of the things she said we used to do together. Is that normal? Or could she be messing with me?”

  Rawling hesitated, and I imagined him wearing his pleasant neutral expression. And salivating while he eagerly poised a spoon above my open skull. I shook the image out of my head as he began, “Well, Aydan, ‘normal’ is a bit of a misnomer. All behaviours fall along a continuum-”

  “Right,” I interrupted. “Sorry, let me put that another way. Is it possible that I could have forgotten a lot of the things she’s telling me we did?”

  “It’s possible. Family members often remember episodes of shared history differently; or one family member may recall an episode that another family member has completely forgotten.”

  “Okay, so… I’ve heard about people repressing memories, usually of traumatic experiences. Does that really happen?”

  “It can.”

  I leaned my elbows on my desk, lowering my voice. “But these things with Nora should be good memories. Does that mean those activities were just more meaningful to her than to me, so I’ve forgotten them? Or could she be lying?”

  “She could be lying; or she could simply be interpreting shared experiences through a different lens. Or, as you say, the experience may have been more meaningful for her than for you at the time.”

  “But why can’t I remember all the good times she said we had?” I burst out. “All I remember is the crappy times when we fought and she made me feel-”

  Shit, don’t let him in your head!

  “I’m sure we must have had some good times together,” I went on as smoothly as I could. “For the last thirty years I’ve thought she was a great mom. Could that have been programming planted in my mind? Because even though I feel like I had a happy childhood, I can’t remember specific times when I was happy. Doesn’t that sound suspicious to you?”

  Rawling’s voice softened. “Aydan, you wer
e a teen on the cusp of adulthood when your mother left and you believed her to be dead. Did you have any psychological support at the time?”

  “No.”

  “And do you feel that you adequately grieved your mother’s loss then?” His gentle voice made me squirm.

  None of your damn business.

  “I don’t know,” I said flatly. “I’m more interested in the memory question right now.”

  In the momentary silence I imagined him scribbling a note on his ever-present pad: “Avoidance. Repressed anger.”

  “Your grieving, or lack thereof, is relevant to your questions about memory,” Rawling said in his usual mild tone. “Any memory can be repressed, if remembering it is too painful.” His voice softened. “Such as in the case of a child repressing happy memories of a mother who is gone forever.”

  Grief gut-punched me.

  Breathless, I folded over the aching chasm inside my chest.

  I want my mom back…

  “Thanks,” I croaked. “That’s a big help…” Bracing my palm against my desk, I pushed myself upright and stiffened my spine. “That’s all I needed to know, so I’ll let you get back to your vacation now.”

  “Would you like to talk about this more? I could meet with you any time today-”

  “No.” The word came out too fast, and I forced my ‘professional’ voice again. “I’m booked up solid for the rest of the day, but thanks. I really appreciate you making the time to answer my questions. Have a nice vacation. ’Bye.”

  I dropped the handset back into its cradle as if ridding myself of a snake, and wrapped both arms around myself.

  Holding myself together through sheer physical effort.

  Spider strolled by in the hallway, glancing in only to stop short. A concerned frown replaced his smile. “Are you okay?”

  With an effort, I relaxed my arms and managed a stiff smile. “F-Fine. Just cold.”

  “I hope you’re not coming down with that flu.” He studied me worriedly.

  Yanking myself under control, I pushed to my feet. “No, I’m just chilly.” I glanced at my watch. “I’d better get going. I have to grab a bug to plant on Nora, and then I’m due over at Eddy’s to do his books.”