Friends In Spy Places

by Diane Henders

  Sobering, he squeezed my hands. “Aydan, it nearly killed me to leave the Department. My whole life has been in military service or police service or secret service. It’s all I was; the only way I defined myself. Leaving it behind was like tearing off my own arm.”

  I shuddered violently at the memories.

  He tucked me against the warmth of his body, holding me close. “The Service was my life,” he repeated. “But Daniel is what I live for now. And…” He hesitated, a smile in his voice. “You were right when you called me an adrenaline junkie last year. Being a father is a huge and wonderful challenge, but it’s… uneventful.” He chuckled. “Usually. Except for the stomach flu.” The smile faded from his voice. “I knew I could never go back to the Department. There’s no room for compromise there. When orders came down, I would have had to leave Daniel for days; weeks; months, even. Never knowing when… or if… I’d be back.” His arm tightened around me. “But with this… you’ve given me a way to keep doing a job I love and believe in; but only on missions I want to accept.”

  Kane pulled away to face me again, his hands on my shoulders, his smiling gaze holding mine. “Missions chosen by a dear and caring friend who always puts my welfare first, and who lets me refuse without consequences.”

  I gaped at him in silence. After a few long moments I got my voice working again. “Are you lying to me right now? Because you’re a spook and I can’t tell.”

  “I’m not lying. I promise I’m not lying.”

  “And you’re not…” I swallowed, my throat scratchy with emotion and too-recent vomit. “…angry? Disappointed in me?”

  “Oh, Aydan.” He pulled me into his arms. “Never.”

  I hugged him at last, locking my arms around all the warmth and strength I thought I’d lost.

  After a long moment, he spoke.

  “If I buy you another bowl of soup, do you promise not to throw it up?”

  I half-laughed-half-sniffled into his shoulder. “Yes.”

  Chapter 57

  “Close your eyes.” Kane was grinning like a little boy with a big secret.

  I obeyed, smiling as the Expedition made one last turn and pulled to a stop.

  “Keep them closed,” he warned. The suspension bounced as he got out, and his footsteps crunched around the front of the vehicle to my door. “All right, watch your step here…” He helped me out of the passenger seat and closed the door behind me, then guided me several steps through the crisp snow.

  His hands closed on my shoulders, turning me.

  “All right, open your eyes!”

  As I did, he added eagerly, “What do you think?”

  I was facing a well-kept bungalow, creamy stucco with smart charcoal trim. Snow-laden evergreens flanked the tastefully dark red door, and terraced lumps under the snow promised flowerbeds in the spring.

  “It looks like a Christmas card!” I pointed at the large SOLD sticker on the real estate sign. “And that’s the prettiest part.”

  “I’m glad you like it so far.” He took my hand. “Come on, I’ll show you the inside.”

  “Shouldn’t we wait for Arnie and your dad?” I asked as he towed me forward.

  “They’ve already seen it once, so they won’t mind if we go in before they get here. And I want to show it to you before the real estate agent arrives. She said she wasn’t actually supposed to let me in unsupervised until the transfer was complete, but since it’s unoccupied…” He stopped on the front step and turned to grin down at me. “…she lent me the keys for a few minutes.”

  “You flirted unmercifully with her, didn’t you?”

  “Maybe.”

  The devilish glint in his eyes made me laugh out loud. “The poor woman never had a chance.”

  “All my training should be good for something,” Kane bantered as he unlocked the door.

  When I stepped into the warmth of the foyer, I stopped to take in the open plan and gleaming hardwood floors. “It’s beautiful!”

  “Wait ’til you see the kitchen!”

  We kicked off our boots and Kane took my hand and led me forward. When we turned the corner into the kitchen, I caught my breath.

  “Oh… wow! It’s gigantic! And look at those gorgeous granite counters!”

  “And it’s got a professional-quality gas cooktop.” Kane tugged me over to see. “I love cooking with gas. And look, a double oven! And there are three bedrooms so I’ll be able to set up my office, and I can put a gym and family room in the finished basement. And the back yard is big enough to make an entire playground for Daniel and his friends.”

  I slid my arms around him, his happiness warming my heart. “It’s perfect for you.”

  He sobered, holding me close. “Not just for me. For Daniel, too. And…” He hesitated. “…for you… if you want.”

  My stab of instinctive fear didn’t surprise me.

  But an instant of wistful longing did.

  “Don’t panic,” Kane added hurriedly. “I’m not asking for anything. I just want you to know there’s space in my new life for you.”

  “Thank you.” I reached up to kiss him lightly. “That means a lot to me.”

  His lips found mine again, warmer and hungrier. “I hope you’ll come for a private housewarming,” he rumbled. Another kiss weakened my knees almost as much as the one he had given me at the sportsplex…

  I tensed.

  Kane drew away, frowning. “It’s all right, I promise I’m not asking or expecting anything from you.”

  “No, it’s okay,” I assured him reflexively.

  Holt’s sardonic grin hovered in my memory.

  I sighed. “All right, yeah. There’s something bothering me.”

  Kane stiffened. “What is it?”

  I had intended to be subtle, but the words jumped out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Holt says you’re pussywhipped because you share me with Arnie.”

  “Holt is an idiot.”

  “Well, I know, but…” I gnawed my lip. “Even an idiot says something insightful every now and then.”

  Kane’s eyebrow quirked. “So you’re saying I’m pussywhipped?”

  “No! I’m just… I wondered whether… maybe you felt that way…? Or it might bother you that other people might think that?”

  “No.” He eyed me with a frown. “When are you going to stop trying to take responsibility for my emotions?”

  “I didn’t mean that; I just meant…” I blew out a breath at his skeptical look, my shoulders slumping. “Okay, you’re right. When he said that, I felt like I was this sleazy whore sneaking around on you, and that you were secretly hurt and angry even though you were pretending it was okay, and that I was a total shithead for making you feel that way.”

  “Oh, Aydan. You’re so smart, but so…” He hesitated.

  “Fucked up?” I supplied.

  He chuckled. “I was going to be more tactful than that.” He sobered. “I don’t care what anybody thinks of our relationship. And if I was so insecure that I needed to own your mind, body, and soul, I’d be long gone from your life by now.”

  For a moment I just stood there in silence.

  Too good to be true. He had to be lying.

  And yet, somehow, for the first time…

  “I think… I might… believe you…?” Surprise lifted my words like a question.

  His laugh was as warm as his arms as he gathered me into a hug. “Now, don’t panic, because there’s no expectation attached to this,” he whispered against my hair. “But… I love you.”

  “Don’t read anything into this, because there’s no commitment attached to it,” I whispered back. “But I love you, too.”

  My jacket pocket vibrated.

  The secured phone.

  Stemp.

  My stomach clenched.

  Oh God. For just a few sweet moments I’d forgotten about his impending call.

  Pulling away from John, I fumbled the secured phone out of my jacket pocket and pressed the accept button.
/>   “Kelly,” I said faintly.

  “Stemp here.”

  His voice was as flat and deadly as ever. I shuddered.

  “Can we talk without being overheard?” he asked.

  Of course he wouldn’t want an audience while he gutted me. I gave Kane an unhappy grimace and padded into the bathroom, closing the door behind me and flipping on the ceiling fan to mask my voice.

  A reflexive check of my bug detector showed all clear, and I sucked in a small breath. Stop postponing the inevitable.

  “Go ahead,” I said.

  “Have you been freed?” The dangerous note in his voice made my heart plummet.

  He had turned against me. I might as well shoot myself right now.

  “Y-Yes…” My shoulders hunched, bracing for the blow.

  “Good. General Briggs assured me that he would do his best for you, but the chain of command can be unpredictable at times.”

  A long moment later, his words penetrated my mind.

  Stemp. On my side.

  Shock and gratitude made me stammer. “Uh… what… you talked to… how did you…?”

  “I am up to date with your situation,” he said. His crisp tone softened. “My parents and I offer our condolences to you for Nora’s death.”

  “Th-thanks… I…”

  I pulled myself together. I was afraid to ask, but I had to know. Just in case Holt had gotten it wrong. “What happened… with Rebecca?”

  I squeezed my eyes shut. No more bad news. Please, no more bad news…

  “I am in a sensitive location, so I will keep this brief,” Stemp said in his usual emotionless tone. “I determined that Ms. Stile is not a threat. This morning at zero nine hundred I called Dermott with my decision, and asked him to inform you. When he revealed his intention to relieve you of duty, I called General Briggs to ensure that you received fair judgement. Dermott’s antagonism toward you has been noted and the chain of command will take it into consideration if issues arise in the future.”

  “Th-Thank you.” I hesitated. “Is that… all?”

  “Only one more thing.”

  Oh no…

  Stemp’s voice softened. “I thought you might like to hear this…”

  Momentary silence filled the line, followed by an increasing babble of voices as though he had left a quiet room to walk toward a happy crowd. I identified Karma’s warm rumble embellished by Moonbeam’s gentle grace notes, but the next voice made the corners of my mouth lift.

  “Baba, you’re funny!” The child’s clear voice dissolved into a cascade of silvery giggles that lilted above the laughter of the adults.

  The sounds faded and a moment later Stemp said softly, “Baba is Bulgarian for ‘grandma’.”

  No bad news.

  Nothing but good.

  Happy tears trickled into my grin, and I scrubbed them away.

  “Thank you,” I whispered when I could speak again. “That’s the best Christmas present I’ve had in a long time.”

  “I am glad.” His voice was warm. “It is the best Christmas present I have ever had. We all thank you for it. Have a merry Christmas. Goodbye.”

  The connection closed and I stood staring at nothing, savouring the glow of Stemp’s hard-won happiness.

  The thump of boots on the front step pulled me back to the present, and I hurried out of the bathroom.

  Kane met me in the hallway with a worried lift of his eyebrows.

  I smiled at him. “Everything’s fine.” My knotted muscles relaxed at last, my grin widening. “In fact, everything’s really, really good!”

  “Thank goodness.” He gave me a short, fierce hug before adding, “Come on, Dad and Arnie are here.”

  “Merry Christmas!” Doug Kane’s jovial voice greeted us as we rounded the corner hand in hand. His warm smile creased into deep laugh-crevices around his mouth and the gray eyes so much like John’s. “It’s wonderful to see you again, Aydan.”

  He gave me a hug as firm and strong as his son’s, then stepped aside so Arnie could come in behind him.

  “Hey, darlin’.” Arnie greeted me with a smile, too, but his gaze searched my face anxiously. “Are ya okay?”

  The week’s fear and pain and betrayal fell away as I stepped into his arms.

  I kissed him. A tender unselfconscious kiss, knowing I was free from judgement here.

  Somewhere in the world was another mage. Somewhere in the U.S. government was a person who would lie to their allies. And in Silverside, Dermott would risk innocent lives just to get to me.

  But John and Arnie would cover my back.

  And sometimes my front.

  “Yeah.” I gave Arnie a private smile before turning to include John and his dad in this one precious moment. “I’m just fine.”

  Book 15 is coming!

  Click here for updates on Book 15's progress

  A Request

  Thanks for reading!

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  Want to know what else is roiling around in the cesspit of my mind? Drop by my blog and website at http://www.dianehenders.com, check out the extras, and don’t forget to leave a comment in the guest book to say hi – I love hearing from you! Or you can connect with me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/authordianehenders. See you there!

  Looking for the next book?

  Books in the NEVER SAY SPY series:

  Book 1: Never Say Spy

  Book 2: The Spy Is Cast

  Book 3: Reach For The Spy

  Book 4: Tell Me No Spies

  Book 5: How Spy I Am

  Book 6: A Spy For A Spy

  Book 7: Spy, Spy Away

  Book 8: Spy Now, Pay Later

  Book 9: Spy High

  Book 10: Spy Away Home

  Book 11: The Spies That Bind

  Book 12: Kiss And Say Good Spy

  Book 13: Once Burned, Twice Spy

  Book 14: Friends In Spy Places

  Book 15 is coming soon!

  For a current book list, please visit www.dianehenders.com/books

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  Humour by Diane Henders

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  More books coming! For a current list, please visit www.dianehenders.com/books

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  About Me

  By profession, I’m a technical writer, computer geek, and ex-interior designer. I’m good at two out of three of these things. I had the sense to quit the one I sucked at.

  To deal with my mid-life crisis, I also write adventure novels featuring a middle-aged female protagonist. And I kickbox.

  This seemed more productive than indulging in more typical mid-life crisis activities like getting a divorce, buying a Harley Crossbones, and cruising across the country picking up men in sleazy bars. Especially since it’s winter most of the months of the year here.

  It’s much more comfortable to sit at my computer. And hell, Harleys are expensive. Come to think of it, so are beer and gasoline.

  Oh, and I still love my husband. There’s that. So I’ll stick with the writing.

  Diane Henders

  Since You Asked…
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  People frequently ask if my protagonist, Aydan Kelly, is really me.

  Yeah, you got me. These novels are an autobiography of my secret life as a government agent, working with highly-classified computer technology… Oh, wait, what’s that? You want the truth? Um, you do realize fiction writers get paid to lie, don’t you?

  …well, shit, that’s not nearly as much fun. It’s also a long story.

  I swore I’d never write fiction. “Too personal,” I said. “People read novels and automatically assume the author is talking about him/herself.”

  Well, apparently I lied about the fiction-writing part. One day a story sprang into my head and wouldn’t leave. The only way to get it out was to write it down. So I did.

  But when I wrote that first book, I never intended to show it to anyone, so I created a character that looked like me just to thumb my nose at the stereotype. I’ve always had a defective sense of humour, and this time it turned around and bit me in the ass.

  Because after I’d written the third novel, I realized I actually wanted other people to read my books. And when I went back to change my main character to not look like me, my beta readers wouldn’t let me. They rose up against me and said, “No! Aydan is a tall woman with long red hair and brown eyes. End of discussion!”

  Jeez, no wonder readers get the idea that authors write about themselves. So no, I’m not Aydan Kelly. I just look like her.