Nocere

by Max Ellendale

  "It's okay. You're a doctor and I understand. Besides, you never know who you could be helping. It might be someone important to me." I kissed her cheek and she offered me a small smile.

  "That's a way of looking at it."

  "Do you work the same shifts this week?"

  "I do." She kissed me before rolling out of bed and holding her hand to me. I accepted and she pulled me up to stand with her. "Do you want to stay here? There's no need for you to rush."

  "I have to be at Rebecca's in a few hours. I should go home and change—or put clothes on at least." I laughed and she grabbed me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around her waist and she chuckled.

  "Well then. We'll just have to put that spanking on hold." She swatted my rear and I squeaked. "Call you when I get home tonight?"

  "Yes." I leaned up and stole a kiss from her before we broke apart to ready ourselves for the day.

  ***

  "You talk about Samirah a lot, Rosie. Are things serious?" asked Rebecca as I helped carry coffee and desserts to the table. Steve smooched my elbow when I set his coffee in front of him.

  "Thank you, darlin'," he said, before lifting the knife to begin cutting the strawberry shortcake.

  "Welcome." I turned back to Rebecca and nodded. "I think things are serious."

  "You seem happier, sissy." Jason offered me the milk when we all sat together. I agreed and he poured some in my coffee. I admired his Minecraft T-shirt and the memory of his story about receiving it in his birthday gamer box. He and his dad shared the same set of brown eyes; gentle and kind.

  "I am. Samirah makes me happy. Even though it's only been a month, it feels like longer."

  "We're happy for you, sweet girl." Rebecca smiled while leaning her chin on her hand. "Your cheeks are pink and eyes bright. I'm enjoying your happiness."

  "Thanks." I chuckled while taking a bit of cake. "This is my favorite kind."

  "I know." Rebecca grinned and licked some cream from her fork. "Just for you today. Jay got his favorite last time."

  "Mmm. Double chocolate mousse cake. Luckily, it's Dad's favorite, too. Right, old man?" Jason laughed when his father elbowed him.

  "I'll give you old man." Steve reached over and messed up Jason's hair. "Bah. There you go."

  "Dad!" Jason huffed and puffed. "I'm seeing my girlfriend later."

  "She'll love the fresh out of bed look. It matches your wrinkled pants."

  "Dad!"

  Rebecca and I laughed at them while enjoying our cake. I glanced at my phone when it buzzed to see a text from Alex asking me if I planned to return home.

  "Not your girl?" asked Rebecca and I shook my head.

  "Just Alex." I turned to her after setting down my fork. "Have you ever sent anyone flowers?"

  "I have. Did Samirah send you flowers?"

  "No. I'd like to send her flowers." I took a deep breath, letting my gaze linger on my phone. "Can you show me?"

  "Of course." Rebecca kissed my shoulder, then leaned close to me to gaze at my phone. "Do you want to send them to her house or work?"

  "Work. She's going to be there for three twelve-hour shifts in a row."

  "Great." Rebecca smiled and tapped my phone. "Pull up the website for Seattle Flowers."

  "Okay." I listened to her and did so. Steve and Jason watched us while they both dove in for seconds of cake. "I got it."

  "Now, look through some of the arrangements to see if there is anything you like," instructed Rebecca. Anxiety made my palms sweaty and she rubbed my back.

  "Do you think she'll like flowers?" I asked, doubting my intentions as I browsed the pictures of dozens of displays.

  "I think she will like it very much," said Rebecca, nodding along with her affirmation.

  "How about this one? It's not too overwhelming, but it's pretty. Six red roses and one rainbow in the center." I zoomed in on the photo to show her.

  "It's lovely." Rebecca smiled and nodded her agreement. "It's subtle and sexy."

  "Gross, Ma." Jason scowled and his father swatted his shoulder.

  "Get over it, brat. Your parents say words like sexy." Rebecca narrowed her eyes at him and it made me laugh.

  "Ugh. Don't say it again. Rosie, are you staying over? I need another for Fortnite." Jason chugged the rest of his coffee while watching me.

  "Um...I wasn't going to, but I can stay for a while." I hit submit once punching in the addresses and credit card information. "Done. It says they'll deliver them tomorrow morning."

  "Good, sweet girl." Rebecca grinned. "She'll be surprised."

  "I hope so. Thanks for helping."

  "Of course."

  "C'mon, Rosie." Jason waved for me to follow him when he stood. I hopped up after him and headed downstairs to the entertainment room.

  At home with the Santoro's, I felt like myself. Their home was the only place I ever felt safe, save for my own apartment over time. Rebecca, after scooping me up out of the trafficking situations twice, stole me away from the danger of group and foster homes, and wrapped me in security. My gratitude for her remained endless.

  "What are you thinking about?" asked Jason while we played the game. "You keep getting shot."

  "Thinking about the day Rebecca came for me," I told him while pounding on the controller to fight off an attacker.

  "Oh." His voice trailed off for a moment. "From that hotel."

  "Yeah. She gave me her card after the first time I met her and when my mom sent me off to that hotel, I called her the minute I was alone," I told him, then fired my weapon at our opponents.

  "Good hit. What happened to you in the hotel?" He glanced at me. "No one told me anything."

  "You were really little. That time, nothing happened to me except the man I was with took pictures of me for whatever he was doing. Rebecca came for me before anything else happened."

  "Well, I'm glad because you're a good sister." He smiled at me, then bumped my shoulder with his.

  His gesture melted my heart and I watched him for a moment as a swell of affection caught me. "You know something, Jay. I haven't met a lot of decent guys, but you give me hope that there are great guys out there like you."

  "Well, I had some good role models." He nodded back toward the game and we returned to our mission. "And someone to protect."

  "Who?"

  "You."

  My cheeks heated and I leaned my shoulder against his while we continued to play. Memories of Jason defending me in high school, despite our four year age difference, burst to the surface. He never let anyone pick on me, even though he was younger.

  I spent the rest of the evening hanging out with him until Rebecca insisted on driving me home. We confirmed our lunch plans for the week, and I bid her goodnight before heading up to my apartment.

  "Hey," called Alex as soon as I entered. I found her on the sofa eating mint chip ice cream out of the carton while perched on the sofa.

  "Hi." I set my keys on the counter beside my purse before joining her. "How was your weekend with Sara?"

  "Good. She just left an hour ago." Alex smiled before offering me the ice cream. I shook my head.

  "So, are you two a thing?" I wagged my brows at her and she laughed.

  "Maybe. I'm not sure. She plays on Mira's soccer team and I'm going to go to a game next weekend. Want to go?"

  "Not particularly." I laughed when I said it. "Sports and crowds aren't my thing."

  "Aw, c'mon. Be my wing woman." She made to shove me like she always does, but stopped before making contact. Like last time, she patted my arm rather than the playful gesture.

  "Did Samirah scare you off from pushing me around?" I gave her a gentle nudge instead.

  She snickered then repeated my motion. "A little. She only has eyes for you."

  "I feel the same way. Is it possible to be in love with someone so soon?"

  "Totally," she said, her whole face lighting up. "Especially someone as sexy as her."

  "Yeah." I smiled while slouching on the sofa. "I talk to her so
easily. Normally, I'd be intimidated. I really only talk to you, Ainsley, and Jordan candidly. As far as friends go anyway."

  "Well, Sam is different then. You make a cute couple."

  "I sent her flowers today. Do you think that's too much?" I glanced at her while gnawing at the inside of my cheek. "Rebecca said it was good to do."

  "Not too much at all. I'm sure she'll like it. I mean, I would love if a woman sent me flowers." Alex sighed dramatically before licking ice cream from her spoon.

  I chuckled and folded my hands over my stomach. "Maybe you should send Sara flowers."

  "Too soon. We were kind of casual about things."

  "You seem excited though…"

  "I am. She's very normal. Unlike Frankie."

  "Frankie isn't abnormal. She's just not a good match for you. Between her short fuse and how she intimidates you, it doesn't work out well."

  "It doesn't. I don't love her, but no one else showed me any attention. You know?" She glanced at me and I nodded.

  "They don't show you attention because people think you’re with Frankie. You two act that way sometimes. I mean not lately, but on and off over the years."

  "True. Well, Sara is new to our friend circle so maybe that helps," she said.

  "Maybe. Where's Frankie been anyway?"

  "She's been hanging out with Kari. The two of them are a thing."

  I paused as my mind pieced together what the two of them would look like as a couple. "That could really work."

  "Oh, yeah." Alex nodded, laughing through it. "Frankie will hold Kari accountable, and Kari will fight back Frankie's nonsense."

  "Agreed. Well, good for them, perhaps."

  "Uh huh." Alex whipped her spoon in the air.

  "Did you change the sheets? I'm not sleeping in a sex bed, by the way."

  She laughed and nodded. "I did. I really need my own place. But I like it here with you. It's less lonely."

  "It is. Does it bother you when I'm at Sam's?"

  "Nah. I know you're having fun so it works out and I get the bed." She snickered and it made me smile.

  "Good. We can share the bed, you know. I don't care."

  "Will your girlfriend care?"

  "Probably, but mostly because she's not the one in the bed. She knows we're sisterly."

  "Good. We can always sleep oppositely. Or you know, move into a two bedroom."

  "We could…" I glanced around the place then back to her. "Maybe if something opens up in this building."

  "Well, we'll see."

  "I'm going to grab a shower then head to bed." I stood and stretched out.

  "Mmmkay." She returned to eating her ice cream. "Night, boo."

  I laughed at her term of endearment. "Night."

  Work the next morning turned into a circus at best. Stiles requested that I set up my work on the serial rapist timeline in the conference room, and by the time I finished, a dozen people filled the room. I turned around to see Stiles talking to Sadie, Walsh, and Eve. Sadie waved me over and I joined them once I finished pinning the map.

  "We've shared this information with the FBI, Bryant," said Walsh, nodding to me. "Good work. They had some of these attacks on their radar, but not to this capacity."

  "Are they coming here today?" I asked, glancing to the intern who rolled in a tray of coffee and pastries.

  "They are."

  "Do I have to stay?" I returned my gaze to him and noted how my hands wrung together at my waist when the crowd increased.

  "You don't have to. Stiles is citing your work in his presentation, but staying around for the kudos might tickle your fancy." Walsh grumble-talked like always before taking a hit off his illicit vape pen. "Up to you, Bryant."

  "Um…" I looked to Stiles then to Eve.

  "I'll sit with you, Rosie. If you like," she said, gesturing to the table.

  "It's okay. I would rather sit out." I waved to them, awkwardly at best, as I took my leave.

  I headed down the hall with limited gusto as to appear calmer than I felt on the inside. A few deep breaths left me, and when I swung toward the main entrance, someone called for me.

  "Rosie?"

  I turned around to see Caroline walk into the precinct. She clasped a cup of coffee in her palms, and beside her, Billie carried up the rear. In typical fashion, Billie smiled at me and my nerves settled a little.

  "Hi, Rose." Billie wiggled her index finger at me and a small smile curved my lips.

  "Hi."

  "You know each other?" Caroline glanced between us, her brows narrowed.

  "Duh, Donovan. I worked here for like fifteen years. So has she. And we were all at the same party this weekend. Have you lost it?" Billie scoffed and it made me laugh.

  "Shut up, probie." Donovan gave her a shove. "Go save me a seat."

  "Yeah, yeah." Billie waved her off then, tossed me a grin. "Later, girl."

  I laughed at the two of them and shook my head. "Bye."

  Caroline waited until Billie headed toward the conference room before she approached me. "Where's your office?" she asked.

  "Um…" I jabbed my thumb over my shoulder. "All the way in the back. Why?"

  "I'll come see you after the presentation," she said, glancing toward the conference room. "A savvy analyst discovered a serial rapist pillaging the community."

  "I know." I folded my arms over my middle and let my gaze flicker toward the door. "It was me."

  Caroline gave pause, her brow furrowed. "Impressive. Why aren't you in there?"

  "It's crowded and I-I...Stiles is doing the presentation." I stammered and dropped my gaze to the grip of her gun perched on her hip.

  "Nah. Come with me." She nudged my elbow, turned on her heel, and led me a few paces down the hall.

  "Wait. No. I—"

  Her gaze, heavy and serious, fell on me in a similar fashion to Samirah's. In that moment, the feelings of exposure faded, for a moment. "I got you. Let Stiles do his thing, but it's important for you to be present for your own work."

  I took a deep breath and found myself returning the grip on her hand. "Okay…"

  "Okay." Caroline's expression softened into a smile. We stood there for a moment though she never released my hand. "Ready?"

  When I nodded, taking a deep breath, she led me into the crowded room and released me when we took our seats. My heart pounded in my chest and my thoughts raced. Why had I let Caroline urge me into this? I’d already made my decision, hadn't I?

  Stiles stood up in front of the full room and began to present my data in a manner similar to my delivery ages ago it seemed. Folks asked questions, pointed out consistencies in the pattern, and low-key raged about the number of alleged victims.

  "This is your work?" Caroline leaned over to ask. I nodded, meeting her dark gaze. "Hmm."

  "What?"

  "Ever consider working for the FBI?"

  "Didn't you just recruit Billie?" I gestured to the woman beside her. "No. I never did."

  "Well, if this lead pans out, you might have to consider the spotlight."

  I shook my head and returned my attention to Stiles.

  An hour later, the party disbanded into their law enforcement groups, and I returned to my office. Just as I made to drop into my desk chair, the thud of sauntering boots appeared in my doorway. Caroline entered, and helped herself to one of the chairs on the other side of the desk. She crossed her legs, and thumbed through her phone like we knew each other through the shared proximity of a college dorm. I lowered myself to my seat while watching her.

  "Where's your partner?"

  "Catching up with some of her old work friends," she said, then tucked her phone in her pocket. Her gaze met mine then and she smirked.

  "So...what are you doing?" I swallowed down the nerves that made it to my throat.

  "Samirah told me you agreed to scene with us," she said, revealing her motivation. "With limits."

  I glanced to the open door then back to her. "We're at work…"

  "No one else is here."r />
  "Still. It's awkward."

  "You're very shy, Rosie," she said, her expression softening a smidge. "And nervous."

  I nodded and folded my arms over my middle. "You're making me nervous."

  Before she could respond, my phone buzzed wildly on the desk. I picked it up to see Samirah's name on the screen. "It's Sam."

  "Answer it, silly." Caroline smiled and leaned back in her chair.

  "Hello?" I held the phone to my ear after accepting the call.

  "Did you send me flowers, my sweet?" I could almost hear the smile in her sultry croon.

  "Yes." My face burned immediately and I tried not to look at Caroline.

  "Thank you, baby. They're beautiful," said Sam, with an air of whimsicality to her tone.

  "You're welcome." My words came out on a whisper.

  "My God, you're blushing so bad. What is she saying to you?" Caroline chuckled as she leaned her elbows on the desk.

  "Who's that?" asked Sam right away.

  "Caroline is here at work with me," I told her. "And teasing me because I'm turning red."

  "Is she now?" Samirah's voice clipped at the end.

  "Yes."

  "Is she respecting you?" asked Sam.

  "Yes, of course." My brow furrowed and I looked to Caroline.

  "I'm making her nervous. Put it on speaker phone." Caroline nodded toward the phone.

  I obliged and hit the speaker button. "It's on speaker," I warned Sam.

  "What are you doing, Caroline?" asked Sam straightaway.

  "Easy there, Sami. We're just talking. We were in a work meeting together." Caroline's demeanor cooled right away. Sam remained quiet until Caroline asked. "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing."

  "Nora and I aren't lifers, Sami. Our dynamics apply to scenes or when the two of us decide. They don't apply to Rosie. Remember that." Caroline spoke some sort of code that I interpreted to the best of my ability.

  Sam's silence continued, though the sounds of the hospital in the background told me she was still on the line. The call screen flickered, and it switched from voice to video call. I smiled when Sam's pretty face filled the screen. Coupled with her blue scrubs, stethoscope, and hair pulled back in a low ponytail, she epitomized beauty even in her work attire.

  "Hi," I said, my smile broadening when she finally smiled.

  "Hi, baby…"