Nocere

by Max Ellendale

  With the gift resting on my knee, she tied the ribbon in a similar bow. "Open it."

  I lifted the box, and cracked open the lid to reveal a double drop circlet with diamonds in rose gold. My jaw nearly unhinged when I ran my fingers over the beautiful necklace. I had never seen anything like it before in my life and tears pooled in my eyes as I stared.

  Sam lifted it from the box with care, then fastened it around my neck as I held up my hair. Tears flicked from my lashes as a wave of astonishment nearly destroyed me. I'd never been gifted with jewelry, let alone something like this. When the fastening clicked, Sam's lips brushed against my ear.

  "Rose gold for my Rose, diamonds for how long you'll have my heart," she said, her breath husky as I touched the necklace when it settled on my chest. "And a trinket for my sweet, so everyone will know you're mine."

  "Sami," I croaked, pressing my palm to her cheek. "Thank you, I can't—I don't know what to say."

  "Happy Birthday, Rosie." She cupped my face in her palms as her misty gaze met mine. "You deserve special things every day, but I wanted you to have this today. I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I just couldn't."

  "Sam." I claimed her mouth with mine, and her impassioned return tore me to bits. I wanted nothing more than to tear her clothes off and make love to her right there.

  From the corner of my eye, Jordan's wave of rainbow hair caught my attention and she offered me a faint nod. I ended my connection with Sam to say, "We have something for you, too."

  Her brow furrowed, though she started when she noticed all of our friends approaching us. Stella and Alice carried a birthday cake alight with dancing flames scattered around the wishes for Sam embossed in icing. Everyone broke into a round of Happy Birthday, but instead of saying my name, we all sang for Sam. She laughed, her eyes welling with tears at their terrible singing voices, save for Vee who somehow managed to harmonize with the gruesome tones. Sam cupped her hands over her mouth.

  "Make a wish, honey." I laughed while swiping at my cheeks.

  Sam blew out the candles and everyone cheered for her.

  "Why did you do this?" she asked, while smiling from ear to ear.

  "It's your first birthday with us," said Stella when they set the cake down on the table. "So we had a party."

  "You're officially a part of our mermaid pod, Sami." Jordan grinned while flipping her hair. "Get used to it."

  Sam laughed, though covered her mouth again as she dropped her head against me. Stella came to sit beside us, her hand on Sam's shoulder while everyone continued to fawn and fuss, just the way I intended. Sam's smile, despite the unusual amount of attention, never faded, and I basked in the glory of her accepting the friendship of the people who cared about her.

  "We will always celebrate you, Sami," said Stella once everything calmed down and people returned to their spots around the living room. "Always."

  Sam nodded, her gaze affixed on Stella as I hugged her.

  "You can thank your little fairy over there for this. She wanted you to have a birthday party that was just for you." Stella took Sam's hand and she squeezed it in return.

  "She's very sneaky," she croaked as she gazed up at me.

  I laughed and kissed her forehead. "It wasn't too hard considering you wouldn't have expected it anyway."

  "True." She grinned and sat up straighter after I dried her tears. "Thank you. Both of you."

  "For what?" asked Stella, though her smile never faded.

  "Being my friend, urging me to settle down here. Supporting me."

  "You deserve friends and happiness, Sami. Just like the rest of us. The fact you found Rosie in the mix of it, well, we'll just call that fate." Stella grinned as the two of them embraced. "Now. We have one more surprise. Don't we, Rosie?"

  "Just one more little thing." I swung my legs off Sam's lap. "We figured we'd bring another mermaid into the pod. The second one though, she's a little unsure."

  Sam laughed as her brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

  I pointed to the sliding door that led to Ainsley's backyard and Alice entered with Marita and Anita on her heels. Marita's grin preceded her, and she only had eyes for Sam when she entered. Sam's breath gave a hiccup as she stood to greet her friend with an embrace that nearly lifted her from the floor.

  Stella wagged her brows at me and held her hand palm up. I snickered and slapped her a high-five while we watched Sam's abundance of happiness. Anita gave me a little wave with her finger and I repeated the gesture. It wasn't as awkward as I expected to not have her as my doctor anymore. Instead, sharing life as a fellow human wasn't all that bad at all.

  Marita cupped Sam's face in her palms, and she said something to her that made Sam nod her response. They glanced at me and Sam held her hand to me. I stood to join them and took her hand.

  "Hi." I grinned at Marita who leaned down to kiss my cheek.

  "We surprised her. She's speechless." Marita chuckled and continued to dote on Sam. "Love the necklace, Rosie. Looks like someone made you their own." Her smile melted to a grin, before she reached back to snag Anita around the middle, bringing her into the huddle. She bit her bottom lip in a coy gesture that I didn't expect.

  "Long before this beautiful gift, I was already hers." I met Sam's gaze and she brushed her thumb over my bottom lip.

  "Oh, I know. Trust me." Marita laughed and wagged her brows at Sam. "I remember the texts I got after you two met."

  "You'll have to tell me about it sometime," I said, laughing at Sam's reaction.

  "Oh no she won't." Sam grabbed me into a rough embrace. "Those are secret."

  "How about right now?" Marita ignored her and sauntered over to the sofa where Stella and Alice watched us with matching grins. "While we indulge in some cake, alcohol, and good company."

  "She's going to win, you know," offered Anita as she joined Marita.

  "I think so, too." I laughed as I pulled Sam over to join them.

  To say I never expected to feel comfortable surrounded by so many people wasn't quite a strong enough way to describe the transition my life took over the last several months. Throwing a party and making new friends though, that would've seemed like an inconsiderable possibility. Sam brought more to my life than just a relationship. She introduced companionship, healing, and connection in a way that brought happiness to my darkest places. We had both been through a lot, all of us had, and together, as Jordan said, we would swim together as a pod bound by the water that kept us floating. Some of us, however, wore ribbons of silk around our wrists that held us just where we needed to be; remembering that pain sometimes delivered us to pleasure, and we deserved a life without harm.

  Epilogue

  "No. That's not how this works," I said, pointing at the computer monitor filled with data.

  "C'mon, Bryant. Make the fucking thing find the thing." Sali shoved the screen and I leapt from my chair to catch it before it fell from the desk.

  "Oh my God, get out of my office." I elbowed her as I pulled the equipment back into place. "This isn't going to work. I quit. Where's Walsh?"

  Sali laughed and shoved some papers off my desk so that she could sit on it. "You say that every day."

  "You're the worst person in the world to work with. Never in my life…" I couldn't even finish my sentence as the exasperation she caused me hit a max. "I'm taking my lunch break now."

  "Oh good. I'm starving." She rubbed her hands together, and if I was any less of a person, I would've swatted the smirk right off her face.

  "You're not invited. I'm meeting my sister."

  "Then I'll stay here and keep working." She gestured to the computer and I grabbed the monitor out of blatant fear.

  "You will not."

  "Fine. Then I'll work on the maps," she said, pointing to the pinned paper maps we had on the cork boards.

  "No. Last time you tore it and we had to go back to digital ones."

  "Then what am I supposed to do!" She flailed her arms, and I dodged her theatrics.


  "I don't know! Figure it out." I grabbed my purse, and stood by the door to my office. "Let's go. Out with you."

  "I'll stay here," she said, swinging her legs idly like a child perched on a park bench.

  "You can stand in the hallway, but I'm not leaving you here alone." I pointed to the hall. "Out."

  "I fucking hate you, Bryant." Sali launched herself off the desk and stormed past me.

  "Because you don't understand the concept of boundaries or limits. With anything." I locked my office door, and she shoved her hands into the pockets of her jacket like a brooding teenager. "Where's your wife?"

  "Teaching a class while I deal with you." She scoffed and it made me laugh.

  "Is it difficult working with her? I mean, does she want to kill you all day long?"

  "Probably, but then she fucks me real good every night so it balances." She shrugged, and the smirk returned to her lips.

  "Ugh. You're so crass." I made my way to the front door, but Sali kept following. "This is where we part."

  "Unlikely." She grinned and I rolled my eyes. "What's the probability of me listening to you in comparison to the rules of general society when analyzed across a proximity matrix, Bryant?"

  "That doesn't even make any sense." I groaned as I pushed open the door and made for the diner across the street.

  "See? Unlikely. Less than point-zero-zero-zero-one percent."

  "You are the literal worst."

  "Thank you. I try."

  We found Juni settling in at a booth in the back of the diner. My newborn niece slept contently in her carrier perched on the seat beside her. Platinum ringlets hung delicately across her wrinkled forehead and I couldn't help smiling.

  "Rosie," Juni called, her smile bringing immediate joy to her rosy cheeks. "Hi."

  "Hi." We embraced and I gave her a squeeze. "Juni, this is my coworker, Sali. She wasn't invited but refused to have any sort of manners at all."

  Juni laughed and shook Sali's hand when she extended it. "Pleasure, perhaps."

  "Probably not. Are you two twins?" Sali's demeanor cooled off right away and I made for the baby to place a soft kiss on her forehead. She grunted and her hands balled to little fists. Her cuteness brought a smile to my face in an instant.

  "We're not, but we get that a lot," Juni said, then let me sit by the baby before she scooted into the booth as well, leaving Sali alone on the other side.

  "I can see why." Sali's gaze fell to my niece. "What's her name?"

  "Lily Rose." Juni smiled, then stroked my hair once. "After her auntie."

  "Will it disturb her if I hold her?" I asked after slipping out of my jacket and setting my purse aside.

  "Nope. She'll love it." Juni helped me unfasten the car seat straps and I lifted Lily to my chest. She settled with her head under my chin, and I about melted inside.

  To my surprise, Sali wore a soft smile while she watched us, and she didn't act like an asshole for a whole ten minutes in a row. We placed our orders, all three of us choosing burgers and fries, though Sali added a strawberry milkshake to hers, and Juni held the conversation together like always. I basked under the glory of the warm little body in my arms that recognized me as her aunt, as her family, and that still baffled me at times.

  "How's Sebastian doing in preschool?" I asked and Juni smiled right away.

  "He loves it. It gives me a nice break, too. I'm dreading going back to work in a few weeks."

  "At least people you trust will be looking after Lily," I said.

  Sali sat quietly, listening to us as if she was almost normal. Until she opened a packet of sugar and made to pour it in the salt shaker. I grabbed it out of her hand before she could do so, while cradling the baby to my chest.

  "It's good to have retired parents," Juni said, chuckling at Sali's antics. "So, how long have you two been working together?"

  "About two months," answered Sali, propping her knees against the table when she slouched. "She's sick of me."

  Juni's laughter continued when she looked at me.

  "She's right. I am."

  "Rosie, that's terrible." She swatted my elbow with as much caution as if I were made of glass. "Why are you sick of her?"

  "Because she's a bossy, overbearing, incorrigible nutcase with a fouler mouth than any truck driver I've ever met." I let it all hang out and Juni burst out laughing.

  Sali narrowed her brows at me, but our burgers arriving interrupted her death stare. She tore into a fry, and continued to glare at me.

  "Why aren't you insulting me right now?" I asked, chuckling. "Because Juni is here?"

  "No. I'll insult both of you when I'm sated." She lifted her burger and took heaping bite.

  "She's entertaining." Juni snickered while eating. "You're a natural with Lily, Rosie." She nodded in my direction while I nibbled my burger in one hand and cradled the baby at the same time.

  "Practice. At the group homes, there were always kids. Instinct like that never leaves you," I said.

  Juni reached over and rubbed my back in an affectionate circle.

  "You both grew up in group homes?" asked Sali, glancing between us.

  "No, just me," I said.

  "I got adopted. We were separated." Juni's affection never ceased and I leaned into it. It took me a while to stop over thinking her closeness. Sometimes, when her skin touched mine, I found myself lost in inner dialogue about our blood connection and similar flesh. Knowing she was my relative, my kin, was still new.

  "I'm sorry," offered Sali, her brow furrowed. "That sucks."

  "We're okay now," I said with a smile. "I went from no family to a giant family and we're happy."

  "Do you have a large family?" asked Juni.

  "Small immediate family, large extended." Sali piled some fries onto her burger then took a heaping bite.

  "Any kids or siblings?" Juni pressed and I tried to hide the grin that made it to my face while she kept Sali in the hot seat.

  "No kids. Nieces. One sister," she said.

  "Older or younger? Rosie's my big sister." Juni wagged her brows at me and I chuckled.

  "Neither. We're twins."

  "Really?" I asked. "I didn't know that."

  "You didn't ask."

  "Are you identical?" asked Juni, her interest piqued.

  "Yup." Sali smirked and I noted her responses growing shorter.

  I made to tease her about it, but the hurried pace of a woman heading our way startled me until I recognized Sali's wife, Maggie. She nearly skidded to a halt beside the table.

  "Babe, why didn't you answer me? Hi Rosie." Maggie glanced at me then did a double-take when she saw Juni. "And relative of Rosie."

  "Hi." Juni laughed. and the proud grin that made it to both of our faces made my heart skip a beat.

  "What?" Sali whipped out her phone. "Oh."

  "We got a lead. Someone at the LGBTQ Center told Jake about an assault she witnessed against another trans woman. He thinks the story matches the previous." Maggie's rushed tones brought an urgency to Sali's movement.

  "We better get there." She pulled a twenty from her pocket and tossed it on the table before handing the second half of her burger to Maggie. "You've escaped me for today, Rose."

  "Well, that's good news. Text me the details and we can run it through the system if they stand out," I said, glancing between them. Maggie snared a bite of burger and smiled at Lily when she made a loud grunt.

  "So cute," she said.

  "She is."

  "Good to meet you, Rosie's relative." She waved before Sali dragged her out of there.

  "Juni." She laughed and waved to them. "You, too."

  My phone buzzed on the table, but with lunch in one hand and Lily in the other, I couldn't get it. "Check for me?"

  "It's Sami."

  "What's she saying?"

  "She wants to know if you want to meet for lunch." Juni nearly giggled. "You're popular," she said while texting back something.

  "My life has turned a corner this year," I sai
d, smiling while I kissed Lily's forehead. "She's so sweet."

  "She loves you." Juni crunched on some fries while smiling at us. "Like I do."

  "Aww." A smile broke across my mouth and I nudged her with my elbow. "I love you, too. The sister I never knew I had."

  A single red rose appeared on the table beside my fork and I looked up in time to see a grinning Sam taking a seat across from us. "Hi, my sweet."

  "Hi, honey." My heart fluttered in my chest and I lifted the rose to give it a sniff.

  "You're blushing." Juni poked my cheek and it only made my face heat up more.

  "Thank you, Sami." I smiled at her and she blew me a kiss.

  "I love turning your cheeks pink," she said, grinning at me then turned to Juni. "Worth it, right?"

  "Totally." Juni smiled and leaned over to smooch my cheek. "Let me take her, Rosie. You've hardly eaten and I'm done."

  "Okay." I handed off Lily to her mother, and plucked a fry from my plate. I clutched the rose to my chest, then pushed my dish toward Sam. "Share with me?"

  "Thanks, baby. How's everyone's day?" she asked while helping herself to some fries. We split the pickle afterward.

  "Sali annoys me to death. Juni is mourning the near end of her maternity leave," I summed up and Juni nodded.

  "Sali nearly ran me over on my way across the street." Sam chuckled and shook her head at us while I cut my burger in half. I handed Sam half and she patted the seat beside her. "Come sit with me, baby."

  "Go on. I had my sister time and I'm about to whip out a nipple." Juni grinned while she covered herself with a nursing blanket and positioned Lily.

  I wiggled my way under the table then into the booth beside Sam. They both laughed at me when I popped up on the other side. "Barely had to duck."

  "Silly." Sam wrapped her arm around me and I leaned into her while we shared lunch.

  "How was your mom today?"

  "She's good. Farid wasn't there to bother us so it wasn't as stressful."

  "Rosie and I decided that we're going to go with you to visit your mom. We're your armed guards," offered Juni, a playful smile on her lips.