The Ruler of Conspiracy

by Kugane Maruyama

  When it was a game, the interior design hadn’t bothered him, but when he actually started living there, he didn’t know what to do with himself. He had wanted to just curl up in a corner. Followed by Fith and the eight-edged assassins who came down from the ceiling of the room connected to his bedroom, Ainz walked over to his dressing room.

  Several maids on standby there bowed reverently. Fith quickly took her place in line with them.

  “Lord Ainz, what will you wear today?” Fith asked, full of energy.

  …Oh, her eyes sure are sparkling. Well, I have the feeling every maid’s eyes sparkle at this. I’ve heard that women like clothes, but…is that why? Or do they enjoy coordinating outfits?

  He was slightly fed up with the fuss but didn’t let it show. Instead he said, “Hmm,” in a voice he thought sounded distinguished—and he was confident because he had rehearsed it.

  Honestly, there was no reason for Ainz to change his clothes.

  One night rolling around in bed with a magic robe wasn’t going to wrinkle it. And his body didn’t produce anything like sweat that would dirty it, either. All that would ever get on it was dust in the air, which would come off if he so much as brushed it. Everywhere he went had been meticulously cleaned by the maids, and he didn’t eat or drink, so there was no way for him to get his robe filthy.

  He would have had no problem wearing the same thing every day.

  But none of his subordinates would allow it. Well, it made sense. If their absolute ruler never changed what he wore, it would affect his reputation.

  That being said, Ainz wasn’t very confident when it came to coordinating an outfit.

  He could select the proper gear when he made battle preparations after taking the abilities and skills of his opponent into account while speculating about their likely tactics and devising a strategy to counter them, but…

  Satoru Suzuki could tell to some extent whether a certain necktie went with a certain suit or not due to the limited experience he had accumulated. But for the question of whether this combination of a purple robe with a silver pattern and a silver necklace with four large diamonds went well together or not, he had no idea. Plus, his body was all bones.

  But if he didn’t look sharp, there was a possibility that his character as a ruler would be brought into question. That would amount to a betrayal of the subordinates who served him so faithfully. He needed to put his all into clothing just like everything else.

  There was just one critical problem.

  Even if he looked bad, who would tell him? This was exactly like how no one would dare say a word when a major company’s president’s toupee was slightly off-kilter.

  Given all those factors, he had only one choice.

  “—Fith, I’ll leave it up to you. Find something appropriate for me to wear.”

  “Understood! You can count on me, Lord Ainz! I’ll put my body and soul into the selection!”

  You don’t have to get that pumped up about it—is what Ainz always thought, but he never told any of the maids that.

  “Red would look very dashing on you, Lord Ainz! So I think today’s outfit will be built around the color red. Is that all right with you?”

  “…I told you before that I would leave it up to you. No need to ask.”

  “Yes, my lord! Understood!”

  If he wasn’t confident, he would have someone else decide—all he needed was to have the maids choose for him.

  The crimson robe she brought out gave him pause. It was such a bright red that it nearly gave him a headache, and it had several large gems attached to it like buttons. It would have been fine if they were all one color, but the gems sparkled in a total of six various hues. On top of that, there were mysterious letters embroidered around the edge in gold thread.

  Is this a proper piece of clothing? Does this fall within the realm of fashion common sense?

  He felt like one of those guys sandwiched between signboards, decked out in neon lights. He never would have chosen this on his own. Moreover, he wondered why he had ever bought such a robe in the first place. He didn’t recall any of the guild members forcing it on him, so by process of elimination, it had to have been his own doing.

  Was it a bonus item? Was I forced to accept it alongside something else? …Well, I guess it doesn’t matter now.

  Remembering why he owned the thing wouldn’t make it disappear.

  It would have been easy enough to reject it, but that would have meant it was a lie when he said he was leaving everything to Fith. Besides, it was possible that the only one who thought the outfit looked lame was Ainz and that the majority of people found it fabulous. No, there was a pretty good chance that was the case.

  Finally, although it sounded nasty, the one who chose the robe was Fith, so if anyone said anything, blaming her was an option.

  I’m the worst boss.

  Ainz felt guilty and realized perhaps this was what it meant to be corrupt. He was well aware that deflecting blame wasn’t how a boss—or anyone at the top—earned praise. Still, there were things he had to protect.

  In order to defend his position, he was willing to sacrifice his subordinate. This was what it was like to be forced into that situation.

  “—Sorry.”

  “Oh, my humble apologies!”

  “No…I was just talking to myself. It’s nothing you need to worry about. By the way…” He decided to try asking just in case. “I was wondering: You don’t think this robe is too loud for me?”

  “Not at all! You look great in anything, Lord Ainz! And while I think your mainly black and dark-brown robes are charming, if that’s all you wear, there’s other good sides of you we don’t get to see! This one expresses your tremendous power and—”

  He interrupted the torrent of words. “Ah, if it looks good, then that’s fine. Will you dress me?”

  “Understood!”

  Fith glanced at the other maids.

  Ainz stood there, and the maids disrobed him without a word.

  Being dressed by women was a slow-roasting embarrassment, even as a skeleton.

  But apparently, for an absolute ruler, this was utterly normal.

  Or rather, it was for Jircniv. The same thing was mentioned in a book Ainz had read, too.

  He watched silently as the maids did their thing.

  Before long, Ainz stood before the mirror in the crimson robe. It really was garish. That was the only word for it.

  …Well, aesthetics in this world are pretty different, right? There’s a good chance this is the proper way for a ruler to dress…probably?

  To quash his lingering anxiety, he recalled the example of how people reacted to Hamusuke.

  “Well then, shall we go?”

  As he headed off with Fith, Ainz thought in his heart of hearts, I could really use some time to relax.

  With his garish red robe fluttering behind him, Ainz headed for his office. When he reached the entrance, Fith hurried ahead and respectfully opened the way for him.

  I can at least get the door myself was something he thought on a regular basis, but the maids always seemed to enjoy their work so much with expressions that seemed to say, Yay, I’m working! leaving Ainz no choice but to silently accept this automatic manual entry system.

  Ainz brought Fith and the eight-edged assassins into his office.

  In the center of the room, exactly like in Ainz’s office in Nazarick, rested a massive desk that oozed dignity. This, like the bed in the other room, was spare furniture brought from Nazarick. In the back of the room was the flag of Ainz Ooal Gown—the flag of the Nation of Darkness.

  Ainz crossed the room and went to the bay window. On top of a nearby shelf was a not terribly large glass box with a miniature forest reproduced inside. It didn’t look like there were any creatures, but Ainz stuck a finger in and flipped up a leaf.

  There, hidden from the sun, was a tiny animal.

  Its slick, flesh-colored form was coated with a slime it apparently secreted, and on one end
, its body resembled human lips.

  Ainz observed the Lip Bug closely.

  “Nice complexion. I’m glad to see you doing well.”

  He remembered being told that the color was important. He had been shown a few different Lip Bugs and learned how to tell which one was in the best condition. This one was definitely doing better recently.

  Ainz took some fresh cabbage off a plate nearby.

  “Look, Slimy Boy! Time to eat!”

  When he moved the cabbage toward the Lip Bug, it chomped down. He let go and the bug continued munching away.

  The creature finished the cabbage in the blink of an eye, and Ainz gave him a couple more leaves.

  Entoma had warned him not to feed it too much, so he left it at that.

  Having eaten its fill, the Lip Bug must have been satisfied. It slowly returned to the shade of a tree in the box, where it could relax.

  “At first this thing creeped me out, but now that I’ve had it for a while, it’s pretty cute,” he murmured to no one in particular with a sunny smile on his face before replacing the box’s thin lid. The fact that he used a lid that wouldn’t pose much of an obstacle if the bug was serious about escaping showed that he was caring for it properly. Then again, it was a mercenary monster that he’d summoned with gold pieces, so he wasn’t sure if it would just run away eventually on its own.

  Ainz wiped his hands with the cloth sitting next to the box. He sat in his chair and leaned back after completing his morning routine.

  Work? It’s not as if I have a set start time, but once it reaches around this hour, I begin feeling gloomy. I guess I haven’t really managed to shake my old habits…

  There wasn’t a single document on his desk or even a speck of dust.

  It was very different from Satoru Suzuki’s workspace.

  The reason for the tidiness was that he didn’t have any work that carried over to the next day. Ainz’s job was to make big decisions not carry out miscellaneous tasks. Once the decisions were made, the rest was left to his subordinates.

  …It’s so rough, though. For the first time, I’ve realized that it’s the weight of responsibility that makes work so unbearable… That mental exhaustion—the pressure—is tougher to handle than physical labor. Also, I think it’s about time for that thing to get started.

  He didn’t even have to look at a clock.

  Just then, there was a knock on his door. Fith, who was standing by, confirmed the identity of the visitors.

  “Lord Ainz, it’s Mistress Albedo and the elder liches.”

  Her tone was deferential even when speaking of the elder liches because Ainz had personally created them.

  “I see. Let them in.”

  Fith yielded the way to the visitors. Albedo led six elder liches, each holding paperwork, into the room.

  “Good morning, Lord Ainz.”

  Following Albedo’s greeting, the elder liches all bowed deeply.

  “Right. Morning, Albedo. Seems like we’ll be having good weather again today.”

  “Yes, I heard the sky will be clear all day. Of course, the weather can be changed to whatever the absolute ruler of this world wishes. Do you have any requests, Lord Ainz?”

  All I wanted to do was use a benign topic as an excuse to have a conversation, and that’s where you go?

  “That won’t be necessary. I’m not against fluctuations in weather. Sun is nice, but rainstorms with lightning have their own charm, and silently falling snow is rather atmospheric. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that each day begins with the pleasures of capricious weather.”

  He wasn’t opposed to the changing weather in this world. With its healthy environment, the rain was actually a blessing, just as Blue Planet had once explained to him.

  It was good for nature to stay natural.

  “Understood… I did notice that you weren’t interested in controlling the weather, but I took the liberty of making the suggestion just in case—since you don’t always order us to fulfill your desires.”

  “…I don’t? I’m pretty sure I do…”

  When he thought about it, there wasn’t really anything specific he wanted. Back when he was Satoru Suzuki, there wasn’t anything unrelated to Yggdrasil that he really pined for. And now there was even less. He wasn’t sure if it was a side effect of becoming an undead or not, but there was a good chance it was simply his personality. If there was anything he wanted, it was rare items to add to his collection. And…

  Ainz smiled sadly and shook his head gently.

  “Well, maybe that’s true. But it’s only because there’s nothing I truly desire. If I think of something, I’ll give the order.”

  “When the time comes, I, as captain of the guardians, will promptly select those most capable of satisfying your request.” Albedo bowed her head slightly, and when she lifted it up again, her face was a little red. “By the way, your outfit today is delightful. It’s radiant. No, the clothes are radiant because you’re the one wearing them, my lord.”

  Albedo really laid on the praise.

  I’m gleaming because this thing has jewels instead of buttons. It’s not like my head shoots out beams of light, thought Ainz as he nodded.

  “Is that so? Thank you, Albedo.”

  “You needn’t waste your thanks on me, my lord. I only speak the truth. You really are—”

  Albedo was getting excited. He sensed she was going to start rambling and held up a hand to stop her. “That’s plenty, Albedo. Now then, those are the documents you guys processed yesterday, right?”

  “…Yes, my lord.”

  Albedo’s cheeks were pouting slightly in a cute way as she directed the elder liches to set the papers on the desk.

  Each bundle was thick. Ainz didn’t have that many things to deal with, but the information accompanying each matter was extensive. In this world, like at a company, solving complex problems required lots of data on a wide variety of subjects.

  Ainz braced himself mentally. Morning was always a time to steel his resolve.

  Satoru Suzuki had been a mere employee. He had never been involved in running the company he worked for. If asked whether such a person could rule an entire country, he could say with confidence: No. Even someone involved in operations at a company would undoubtedly have had a hard time running a nation.

  Even worse, Ainz was an absolute ruler. Even if what he said was wrong, his subordinates would execute his orders to the letter.

  Was there anything more terrifying than that? With one wrong word, Ainz could cause a mass suicide.

  So what was a king to do?

  The answer was simple—he would deal with it the same way he handled the clothes he was wearing. In other words, delegate matters to someone who had the ability.

  The skill required of a boss was to assign personnel duties that matched up with their strengths.

  That said, handing off every single thing would be bad. Sure, he could leave everything to Albedo, but even if he was king only for show, the position entailed responsibility.

  There were certain times and jobs where it was impossible to run away by uttering the phrase I don’t know.

  Consequently, he always properly reviewed all the papers that came to him before stamping them with the state seal.

  After clearing a few at a rhythmical pace, he paused, internally chose one as his goal for the day, then read everything he was supposed to know about it. But…

  …I don’t understand this. It’s about supplies, right? Is it important? I bet the elder liches know… I created them! What’s with this gap in comprehension…? This is so hard to read. It’s like a law or something.

  There were numerous points where it said to refer to the appendix, which sent him flipping through the documents, but then he encountered words at the bottom of some pages that negated the conclusions above. On top of that, there were multiple negatives in one sentence, which made it difficult to parse.

  “Albedo.”

  “Yes, Lord Ainz! Is there so
mething bothering you?”

  “No, it’s unrelated to this, but I just remembered: What’s going on with the laws?”

  Though they were calling themselves the Nation of Darkness, they didn’t have any of their own laws yet and were simply using the kingdom’s in the meanwhile.

  “I’m in the process of drafting them, but if we force them on people, we can expect discontent to build in various corners, so I’m unsure how to go about it.”

  Albedo thought nothing of humans, so the statement was rather unlike her, but Ainz was relieved.

  “I consulted with Demiurge, and…with the current laws of the kingdom, your powers as absolute ruler are weakened. Therefore, we were considering adopting only the first chapter of kingdom law and strictly enforcing that.”

  “I’m fairly confident in other matters, but”—that was a huge lie; there was almost nothing he felt sure about—“unfortunately I don’t know much about laws. You guys can do what you think is best. I trust you.”

  “Yes, my lord! Understood.”

  Albedo looked happy. Her wings were also fidgeting. For some reason he couldn’t fathom, she—and Demiurge—still thought that he was a genius who was always thinking one step ahead of them. So whenever he said he didn’t understand something, it seemed that they were thrilled to have a chance to fulfill their purpose as beings created to be intelligent and knowledgeable.

  “But I will say, Lord Ainz, there’s no need to lie and claim you don’t know much about laws…”

  “No, it’s really true. I have no idea how to handle legal issues.”

  “Ah, I see now. You’re coming from the perspective of an absolute ruler, unbound by legislation. I understand.”

  Ainz had the feeling she was misunderstanding him, but he didn’t say anything—mostly because he didn’t know what to say. Instead, he let a suppressed laugh slip out. Though he was barely familiar with the concept, he felt like this might be like when a child wanted to proudly announce something to their parents.