All for Her

by Penny Best

  The following days are no better and then it is Sunday. Pretending to be having the dreaded ‘monthly’, I avoid the worry of a guilt-ridden soul being exposed in the church. Instead I pray for a scorching summer where I can frolic in streams with Ernest and in the long meadow grasses with Edward.

  With Dottie and Mammy at church, I wonder what’s making our dog bark. The approaching clip-clop of a horse reveals Ernest’s calves, thighs, crotch, torso and face.

  “I knew you wouldn’t go with them today. I just knew you’d think you shouldn’t go to church. You look better. Are you? Come here.”

  Without worrying and looking around, I sink into Ernest, losing all sense in kisses and caresses and backing us both inside into the kitchen. Sprawling onto the floor he crawls on top of me, “I swore I’d never be rough with you again, but I can’t help myself!”

  Clothes get moved or removed, wriggling free of their morals I pant and moan. The floor is cold against my bare skin as he unbuckles a belt, pulls his hips free and slips a fist up and down his cock a few times.

  “I missed you. I missed this.” One touch and he slides inside me easily as he asks, “The others, Dottie and Annie, will be away longer won’t they? They won’t come home just yet?”

  I shrug and this sends Ernest mad as the touches get harder and faster, but then he moves me wider and brings his long hard cock up and in, withdrawing it right out and then sending it in deeper, over and over. “This is what I came here for. Never stay away again. Do you hear me, Minnie? I’ll go wherever I have to, to be like this with you.” He stays still and says, “You’re my Minnie. Mine.”

  In my head I say that it is the other way around. He’s most definitely mine. To prove it I push him off and onto his back. I straddle him and sit down onto his hard cock. While I writhe, he complains, “This ground is hurting my back!” but I don’t care as pleasure shoots into that little nub I can manipulate so well now. It ends with a large noise from us both and a warm flow into me. Opening my eyes, all I see is Ernest’s big grin.

  “You’ll come back to Fern Hollow tomorrow morning!” he laughs slapping my naked thigh. “Or else I’ll be back and do this no matter who’s here.”

  He fondles me and then kisses me to make his leave and I wonder who’ll have seen the horse and who will tell Mammy or Dottie.

  Chapter 14

  The next morning is the fairest Monday of them all, and I practically skip up the hill to Fern Hollow. Neither of the twins are in the farmhouse despite the early hour and the dog is gone too. All is quiet and peaceful as I start the chores with joyful contentment. Every second though I wait for Ernest to come and sweep me off to bed. He doesn’t come and the anticipation makes me perspire.

  At around midday I wonder should I go to find Edward in the back field. I’ve put some secret thought into how to get what I want in this life and with a bit of luck, I might just achieve it. I head out through the back gate hoping for a miracle and see Edward in a field nearby. The dog and Edward come to greet me. From a distance, I do worry briefly that it might be Ernest, but I shouldn’t fear as my heart and lower down can distinguish between them.

  Edward beams as he takes the basket from me and brings me to sit behind the nearest stone-wall.

  “You came with the tea,” he says. “We missed you. Are you feeling better? I was thinking the thunder in the air might affect you. You’re sensitive to things around you and there was a heaviness in the air before the rain. We thought that might have made you weak. And I know you’ve lots to think about. Have you thought about what was said? We’ve missed you while you were away.”

  I notice that Edward always refers to ‘we’ while Ernest never does. I haven’t brought blank paper and that makes communicating difficult, which is something I never need worry about with Ernest. The silence becomes awkward. The shadow of the cold stone doesn’t help but I start unpacking the basket and the grand picnic of cheese and cooked ham.

  “You’ll talk someday won’t you, Minnie?” he starts. “For me? You’ll talk?”

  I don’t answer as I think if anyone on this earth could persuade me to speak, then these men might. Instead of talking though I unwrap the sandwiches and place them on the flattest stone. The sock-covered bottle holds the milky lukewarm tea and I lean it against a tuft of grass.

  “You’re feeling much better? We knew you’d be kept away because of the weather, but I worried I’d scared you too. We hoped you’d be back today. I didn’t go far from the house, just in case,” he says taking my hand. “You’ve thought about my letter?” He must see my reaction as he adds, “You have, and it looks promising.”

  Touching Edward’s cheek, he knows instinctively that I wish he’d kiss me. Knocking over the bottle of tea, he lays me back onto the grass. The kissing changes in intensity as urges come. Something in me makes Edward’s hand stop its exploration and I wiggle free dusting my skirt and front to indicate that I’m a good girl who cannot continue.

  Edward gets up too and coughs. “Not now. Yes, you are right.” Instead of resuming a thing that will remain unfinished I press the note I’ve prepared into his pocket. I hear the tearing open of an envelope while I climb joyously across the old stone wall. The grass swishes ahead to the horizon home, as a quilt puckered by stone snakes and large oaks. I think of Edward reading my note.

  Edward darling,

  I’ve thought about us for many days. Writing letters to each other is something we can share. Ernest cannot invade our world of written words. This can be our secret, our intimacy until we can be truly together in a moral union.

  There are secret places which yearn to be touched. There is pleasure to be had in nakedness. This morning in Fern Hollow, I imagined you in the fields, toiling hard and waiting for me. When it is right to do so, I will go to greet you with the tea as we’d planned. I’ll move us into the longer meadow grass and lie back in the warm summer sun. I’ll loosen my blouse ribbons and unbutton my skirt. I’ll undress for my Edward. The lightest of touches will be like the softest breeze and you’ll watch me all the while. Kissing me, you’ll ease into our privacy and come to me over and over, riding into and through our wild Irish lusts. We’ll not stop for a long time wrapped in heat and desire. Edward, this will be you and me.

  Minnie xxx

  Chapter 15

  I am a bad woman, a sinful person yet I don’t stop seducing Edward. My work must be fast if we all are to have a proper future. Every ounce of sense I’ve left tells me that I need to start on a plan before it all explodes like a bomb. Slowly making my way up to Fern Hollow, the sun beats down shaming me with its unusual early morning ferocity.

  Edward is finishing his porridge. I can smell it from the doorway.

  “Good Morning, my dear. I loved your letter. I’ve read it a fair few times now,” he whispers looking embarrassed and rosy-cheeked.

  I guess that Ernest isn’t about, and Edward answers the silent query.

  “I sent Ernie into Dromore. He used to look for an excuse to go to the town, so I gave him an errand to do. Come take a cuppa with me while we have peace? The rest can wait.”

  I squeeze Edward’s shoulder like a dutiful wife might and pour two fresh cups of tea.

  “I wanted to ask you to consider something important.”

  A breath catches and holds as he goes on. “I’d like to think we are definitely courting. The letter made me think that we were, but I wanted to make certain.”

  I have to look and there’s that Tandy lust, the longing that’s hard to ignore.

  “Minnie, write your answer to me if you won’t say it,” Edward says softly, handing me a pencil that’s on the table. “I promise I’ll not rush you. I just wanted to ask you before Ernest does.” He looks intently and says, “He hasn’t said anything like this to you, has he?”

  I’ve never been able to lie and the colour rises all the way up to the well healed cut.

  “He has said something?” His dark eyes are agog, and Edward moves backwards taking the stool
as well. “Ernest has set his cap at you? He’s promised you things. The swine! What did he say? What can he offer you? What?”

  The paper he has pokes me, wanting me to answer him. The half door is open at the top and the grey clouds in the distance don’t give me any advice. I’m on thin ice and every word will matter now. Dottie always told me to avoid the truth if it was going to be difficult to endure the consequences. I take the paper and pencil from his hand.

  I think you’re very handsome. I smile at him.

  “I look exactly like Ernest,” he puffs in annoyance. “What has he asked of you?”

  The heart beats must be loud enough to be heard in Dromore.

  “Tell me, Minnie. Please.” He comes closer and scoops me up to stand. Gripping me tightly he asks, “Did he kiss you?” I’m lost in Edward’s voice while he gently presses precious lips to mine. “Does he hold you like this and tell you that he loves you?” Edward’s breath smells of tea and cigarettes as he tilts my cheek to kiss it. He reaches out to tap the paper on the table. “Does Ernest want you so badly that it hurts?” Edward’s chin rasps against my cheek as he holds me. I cannot move, transfixed with words and wanting a proper kiss like Ernest usually gives me. “Does Ernest love you like I do? He never will,” Edward mutters as his lips cover mine. The pencil drops to the floor. My nails dig into the back of Edward’s taut neck. Our tongues entwine and I cling to him like a drowning woman.

  Slowly I let myself think of Ernest. This is all wrong, but in Edward’s arms I’m safe and protected. He’s the one who can secure all our futures. We kiss for a long time, unconcerned about the farm work, the cleaning or Ernest coming back. This is nothing like the passion Ernest rises in me, however there is a strong pull of sense saying that to continue loving Edward is the right thing to do. I can tell that neither of us wants to stop, but after many seconds Edward says, “That was just as I thought it would be. Glorious.”

  I pick the pencil off the floor and get the notepad from the table and write Yes.

  “Do you do that with Ernest?” Edward asks looking out the door.

  There’s panic in me, a crossroads in destiny ahead of us all, the charcoal leaves its mark and I hand it over Yes, I do this with Ernest.

  Edward doesn’t look away from the notepad for a very long time. He slumps back into the chair. “I should have known.” He doesn’t sound cross, more tired or resigned to it. The secret is out. Ernest will be mad as a bull about all of this.

  I’m scared and hurriedly write Please don’t be cross. I adore you. Please don’t tell Ernest.

  Reluctantly Edward reads and wipes his nose with the back of a sleeve.

  “Yes, Ernest would be cross if he knew I kissed you,” Edward says slowly, a frown creasing that handsome forehead. The smirk that slowly replaces the frown on Edward’s face makes me worried. He’s looking forward to Ernest’s jealousy, he wants to taunt his brother.

  I scribble I mean it. Ernest is important to me. This is not a game.

  “You let me kiss you AND wrote me that letter?” Edward hisses and he must see me staring. “I know you wanted to keep kissing me. So Minnie Hatton, where were your thoughts for Ernie then?”

  My hand trembles as I write I am not a bad person.

  He stops me writing by taking the paper. “I’m sorry. I lost my temper. I know this is all confusing and we’re like frustrated animals, both wanting a piece of you. I’m sorry, but you must choose between us. Who do you want the most?” He takes my hand and kisses each finger. With shut eyes shut I hear, “I’ll be far better than him. I’ll be honourable, marry you and care about you always. Ernest is selfish and only wants what he can get.”

  We’re kissing again, moving worried faces in a sensual dance, lost in a synchronized longing. Everything about Edward is different to Ernest. Kissing is prolonged, the muscular arms are protective and soothing too. The voice isn’t rash or hurried and he doesn’t undress me. But he hasn’t shaved and the stubble stings. I ease away and look for the pencil and paper and write What if Ernest comes home?

  “Yes,” Edward looks smug. “We’ll have to tell him.”

  Please don’t hurt him.

  Edward softly touches the bare flesh he can find on my wrists and arms. “You care for him?”

  Like picking a scab, without thinking I quickly write I care for and want you both. Desperately need the two of you.

  Edward gasps, then chuckles at the words. He doesn’t seem too angry. A hand goes through his hair with a sigh.

  I need water and head for the pail of fresh water by the sink. There’s a china cup hanging on a third nail now. Drinking from it, I wait to be told to leave.

  “You cannot be serious?”

  Intently I wait.

  “You want us to share you?” Edward asks tapping the pad off the side of the table. “And how do you think that will work? We cannot agree on anything and why would I share you with anyone?”

  Shrugging and praying inwardly, I take another cupful of water and drink.

  “I want to marry you. Do you think I love you enough to turn a blind eye to…?” he shakes his head in disbelief.

  Watching the dilemma surface, all I can do is wait and hope the strength Dottie has bestowed on me over the years is of use. Standing tall I nod and blow him a kiss.

  “Ernest would never agree to that.”

  That gives a chink of hope. I take the notepad.

  In the bible men took many women as theirs. How is this different? Ernest will agree if you say that you will share me and the farm. We could all live here happily.

  “What if I want a proper wife all of my own?”

  I would be your wife. It would be a proper marriage.

  “Why couldn’t we forget Ernest? I could make him leave and have you all to myself?”

  You don’t mean that. You wouldn’t and can’t kick Ernest off Fern Hollow. Always you talk about ‘we’. Ernest is your brother and you both marrying has proved difficult. Also, no other woman would want Ernest here but how can he be made to go? He has nothing without Fern Hollow. I understand you cannot cut the farm in two. If you share properly with Ernest, then I will agree to marry you.

  “You’d marry me but still be Ernest’s?” Edward is pacing up and down. “That is an immoral, crazy idea.”

  I’ve already promised myself to Ernest. If you truly want me then you’ll need to know that.

  “What? When?” he screams and startles me. “WHEN? But I am falling in love with you!”

  There are tears forming and I scribble faster I’ll always be Ernest’s, but I’d be your wife. Your wife Edward. And I can care for you both, and I will be your wife.

  “And I’d have to share you and the farm?”

  Yes. We can all be happy this way. I know we can.

  “Ernest will get bored. Someday he’ll leave Fern Hollow. He’ll abandon us both.”

  That hurts.

  Maybe. Then it will be just us.

  “Mother always wanted both Ernest and I here, on the land, together. There’s enough to go around and if we had only one family unit there would be no problem. Mother is working her nonsense from the grave as usual. What would the whole of Dromore think? Two brothers sharing the one farm and the one woman? I’ve never heard the likes of it before in my life!”

  I’d never tell. No-one need ever know other than us. It’s no-one’s business. We’d be happy.

  As I hand the note to Edward, Ernest’s shadow comes across the floor. Unlatching the half-door Ernest comes inside, with a squared jaw he says, “I heard some of these plans that you’re both making without me.”

  “She’s written that she’d never tell anyone and no-one other than the three of us would know the arrangement. You are a swine and a swindler! You know how I’ve felt about Minnie. I don’t want any other woman and…”

  Ernest heaves me into those darling arms stopping Edward’s speech saying, “You found a way, Minnie, you clever woman. You’ll have two men to love you and you’ve figured ou
t how to get me what’s mine. Minnie has played us like fools Edward, but I don’t care. What else have you arranged, you little minx?”

  Edward’s eyebrows go high. “She’ll be my wife though Ernest. She said so.”

  Ernest ignores him and presses a nose to mine, “Never let that bastard send me to town again so that you can be on your own. Promise me?”

  I nod smiling that he’s pleased rather than angry. He kisses me quickly on the cheek and says, “And I don’t intend on being second best. It is equal sharing or not at all!”

  We can tell that Edward’s grappling with the morals of it all and Ernest sways me over and back, teasing him, like I’m bait on a hook. “You either want her or you don’t?” Ernest chuckles. “I don’t want to share her either, but if it means she can come to live here and I can have what’s rightfully mine, and Minnie is happy too and wants to live that way, then what’s the harm? We can arrange how it will all work, and no-one will be any the wiser. So what is the issue, brother?”

  Agonising seconds pass. Edward takes a breath and says, “If I want a wife then I will have to agree.” He removes me from Ernest’s grasp with force. “And for the rest of the day you are mine, Minnie. It will fall to me to ask your mother for your hand in marriage and I want you to myself.”

  Ernest looks dejected and throws the pages from the notepad into the fire.

  I turn to a new, clean page. It will be all be worth it.

  Inside I’m hollering in glee, my hopes are fulfilled. I’ll be free of Mammy. I’ll have the best land and two of the handsomest men in Dromore under me and over me whenever I please. Looking out over the half-door at the rolling fields and then back at the two fine men standing before me. I write I promise you both, it will be heaven.

  THE END

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