Their Secret Bargain

by Kay Lyons

  “Sorry to interrupt, but I find myself without a partner. Nick, would you make an old woman happy?”

  Nick glanced down. Gram had placed a hand on his fist, the one he’d clenched in preparation of…What? Decking his own father? That would be a new low.

  Recalling the events of the afternoon and thinking about how he’d felt after listening to Matt’s reading, Nick’s throat tightened into a knot he couldn’t budge. Was that what he’d turn into—someone critical and judgmental and shortsighted? His father?

  “I love this song. It was one of your grandfather’s favorites. Nick?” Gram’s hand squeezed his and tugged.

  Without a word, Nick led her out onto the dance floor. Ethan and Jenn were dancing, as well, which made two songs in a row. For someone who didn’t dance, she appeared to be having a lot of fun with his well-educated brother.

  “Take a deep breath,” Gram ordered.

  Wry amusement left him shaking his head. That’s what Gram had always said whenever one of the kids had gotten upset. Take a deep breath, think, and then react.

  He did as ordered, his gaze fixed on Ethan and Jenn. So what if Jenn was having fun? Wasn’t that the point? She’d been married to a doctor. A jerk, but a doctor. Maybe she and Ethan had some things in common. Nick glanced down, struck by the fact that Gram was starting to show her age. She was still beautiful, but she wasn’t getting any younger.

  “I’m sorry I was short with you today at the gym,” she said. “I let my upset get the best of me. But it makes me sad to think you don’t feel comfortable with us—sad that you don’t want to spend time with us because of that.”

  He dropped a kiss onto her forehead, careful of her styled hair. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a pain over the years.”

  Gram’s rich, warm chuckle filled the air. Nick’s Grandpa had had a way with words and he’d often said when people behaved like a donkey’s behind, they couldn’t be called anything but a pain.

  “Oh, I’ve missed you, Nick. So many years have passed and I’ve missed you. You were always into so much and I was guaranteed to get a laugh from your antics.”

  “It’s…awkward. After everything that happened.”

  The lines on Gram’s face softened. “I know. But regardless of what was said, we didn’t stop loving you. Life has moved on, but you’re still one of us.”

  “Sure about that? According to Dad, I’m a bad father because I’m working two businesses and not hovering over Matt twenty-four seven.”

  Gram’s fingers tightened in his hand. “Alan is concerned for you both. Things went too far all those years ago. You two have made a habit of taking things too far. I’m sure your father didn’t mean to imply that. Nick, you’re both protective and hardworking. Both of you are perfectionists who want the absolute best for those you love. And you’re both blind as bats because of your pride.”

  Nick prepared himself for the lecture that was sure to come.

  “You butted heads over whether or not the sky was blue.”

  Her expression turned thoughtful. “Maybe he sees you making some of the mistakes with Matt that he did with you, ever think of that?”

  Was it possible? “I don’t want Dad criticizing Matt’s every move, the way he did mine.”

  “I understand. But Alan has mellowed with age.”

  “Have you informed him of that?”

  Gram lifted her hand from his shoulder and swatted him gently. “Don’t sass your grandmother.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Nick slowly led her around the dance floor, his thoughts full of difficult memories. Embarrassing trips to the principal’s office, and his father’s dramatic rants about Nick’s many F’s. Cajoling, reluctant words of support that soon turned into shouts and punishments.

  He looked down and saw Gram watching Matt with a sad expression on her face. “What’s wrong?”

  “He’ll be a teenager soon, and you know good and well what pressures lie there. That’s what’s wrong. Drinking, partying. He needs to know he can come to any one of us for support and help—but how can he when he barely knows us?”

  Nick suppressed a curse. “Gram, not tonight. You got what you wanted. We’re here now. Isn’t that enough?”

  “No. No, it’s not. While I have your undivided attention on this dance floor, I want to discuss the matter. Matt’s getting older and I can tell he’s picking up on the tension in our family. He’s more watchful, more aware of the goings-on when you join us on these rare occasions. How long before he begins to ask why?” Her gaze narrowed shrewdly. “Or has he asked already?”

  Somehow Nick managed to unlock his jaw. “I’ve made some excuses.”

  “I see.”

  “Cut me some slack, Gram. I don’t want Dad doing to Matt what he always did to me.”

  “Why would you worry about that, unless…”

  And there it was. Nick kicked himself in the behind as he saw the knowledge form in his grandmother’s eyes.

  “When I came to get Matt for his tuxedo fitting he had papers spread across the table, as if he’d been studying. A child doesn’t do that on summer vacation. He said it was a special summer project, but I should’ve known better.”

  Nick understood his son’s need for privacy, but lying to Gram wasn’t right. Even though he’d made it clear to Matt that he didn’t want the family to know. As if he was ashamed of Matt? Aw, crap. “He knows how gossip works. If people find out, chances are, his friends will, too,” Nick explained.

  The older woman looked sad, her eyes still on Matt as he sat at a corner table with another boy, watching as the kid played a handheld game. “Poor thing.”

  “He’ll be fine. He just has some catching up to do.”

  “And I’m sure he will. Jennifer seems very nice and quite capable. Thank you for trusting me with the news. I won’t say anything to the rest of the family, although I want you to know they would only be concerned.”

  And interfering. “Yeah. But thanks for keeping it to yourself.”

  She sighed, and they continued to dance with an awkwardness and tension that hadn’t been there before.

  “I think you should go now.”

  Nick stiffened. “What?” Gram wanted him to leave? She was that upset over things?

  “It appears as if your Jennifer might need you. You should go to her.”

  Nick looked around at the mention of his Jennifer, and found Dixon trailing her to the bar. Ethan was nowhere to be seen and none of the other Tulanes were close enough to offer Jenn backup. “You’re the best, you know that?” He kissed Gram on the cheek.

  “And you’re a Tulane,” she shot right back, her words firm and direct. “It’s about time you remembered that.”

  JENNIFER STROLLED UP to the bar to get a diet soda and stared through the French doors lining the patio, waiting for her turn with the bartender. Outside, a beautiful carved stone railing overlooked the golf course, and she could see the lights from the homes lining the greens twinkling through the leaves.

  “What are you doing?” Todd demanded as he came to a stop in front of her.

  She stifled a groan. Barely. Talk about ruining a perfectly good view.

  Jenn glared at Todd and stepped out of line, her gaze searching the huge room until she spotted an unoccupied spot nearby. She headed that way, all too aware Todd dogged her heels. “You’ve got two seconds. What do you want?”

  His hands settled on his hips. “Aren’t you going to congratulate me?”

  “No. The better man didn’t win.”

  His face tightened. “You’re being petty.”

  “I have good reason.”

  “Why are you suddenly hanging out with that overgrown busboy?”

  “Why do you care? And for your information, Nick is a very successful and honorable businessman.”

  “If not for his last name and family connections, Nick wouldn’t be anything in this town. I grew up with him and he’s dumb as dirt, and nothing but a troublemaker who could barely string two sentences together.
I thought you were a fairly intelligent woman, Jenn. Why would you go out with someone like him?”

  “Because he’s a man and not a jerk?”

  “Back off, Dixon. You got a problem with me, take it up with me and not Jenn.”

  Nick appeared out of nowhere, walking right up to Jenn and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He snuggled her close and pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

  “You okay?”

  Appreciating the supportive gesture of her guy friend, Jenn slid an arm around Nick’s waist and held tight. “Yeah, Todd was just leaving.”

  “Nice try. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to celebrate my promotion.”

  “Then get to it. On the other side of the room.”

  “Or what?”

  “Is there a problem here?” Alan Tulane joined them, followed by Luke, Ethan and Garret. All of them scowled at Nick while Todd simply stood there and smirked.

  Jenn wanted the ground to open up and swallow her.

  Chapter 12

  SIR,” TODD GREETED Nick’s father with a smile, but the grin became more mocking when he turned it on Ethan. “Maybe next time, eh, Dr. Tulane?”

  “Congratulations on being named chief,” Ethan murmured, his face carefully blank.

  “Thank you. I’m thrilled, just as I’m sure you would’ve been.”

  Jenn winced at the slight.

  “Well, enjoy your dinner.” Todd’s gaze locked on hers. “Jenn,” he murmured, nodding once before turning his attention to Nick. “You haven’t changed a bit since school, Nick. Not a bit.” That said Todd walked away, but Nick’s family remained, silent and imposing.

  Jenn glanced at Nick and waited, thinking he’d remove his arm from around her shoulders since they faced the others and had told everyone they were just friends. But he didn’t.

  Alan Tulane inhaled deeply and sighed. “You’re determined to wind up in a fight tonight, aren’t you?”

  Jennifer blinked. “No, Dr. Tulane, Nick wasn’t…He was just showing his support for me. Todd…Dr. Dixon…is my ex-husband and things have been…I’m sorry. Nick was just standing up for me and being a friend. It’s not his fault.”

  Alan Tulane’s gaze shifted to Nick. “Maybe not, but you know your brother’s celebration dinner isn’t the place for such scenes.”

  From across the room Todd inclined his head toward her with a deceitful smile and it dawned on her that Todd had done it deliberately, drawn Nick to her side to start trouble so that Nick’s father would be upset. Of all the manipulative—She wiggled her fingers slightly and saw Todd’s gaze drop to the movement. Having his attention, she pinched her thumb and forefinger together and held them about an inch apart. Todd’s face flushed a dull burgundy as he caught on to what she was silently indicating. He downed the last of his drink with a glare and turned away.

  Nick’s father and brothers remained, staring at them with a mixture of expressions. Disappointment and upset from Alan Tulane. Curiosity and protection from Luke. Then her gaze moved to Ethan and her eyes widened when she saw him barely suppressing a cocky grin. Surely he hadn’t caught her hand signal to…Oh, but he had!

  She bit her lip to control her embarrassment as Ethan winked, his expression one of whole-hearted approval and appreciation.

  “Dinner will be served soon,” Alan Tulane continued. “I expect we’ll have all cooled off by then.”

  One by one Nick’s family left them standing there in the corner of the large dining room like two errant children. Ethan was the last to depart, pausing long enough to squeeze Nick’s shoulder before he walked away.

  Now that they no longer had an audience, Nick released Jenn and stalked out the nearest door. Jenn considered the group assembled around the table but she didn’t want to face them alone. So she sucked in a calming breath and prayed for the best.

  Outside, a starry sky glittered above their heads. The sound of crickets and frogs thrummed from the wooded area surrounding the golf course. Nick strode to the edge of the rectangular patio, his hands knuckle-down on the long railing as he stared distractedly at the foggy greens.

  The door had barely closed behind her when Nick’s fist punched the rail and a raw oath left his lips, more potent than any of the few she’d ever heard him say aloud.

  “Nick, I’m so sorry.” She moved to stand beside him, taking his hand in hers when it looked as if he might lash out again. Hitting that wrought iron had to hurt.

  She smoothed her fingers lightly over his rough knuckles before lifting his hand to her lips for a kiss. It was something her mother had always done, and Jenn did it automatically, not thinking about how intimate the gesture was until it was too late.

  Determined to offer him the same support he’d shown her, she lifted his battered hand to her chest and held it close. “Nick, Todd did what he did to embarrass you, because of me. I saw it on his face after he’d walked away.”

  “You’re not responsible for either one of us.”

  “I am when I’m used as a catalyst. Todd wanted to act like a big shot in front of everyone, and he knew you’d react when you saw him harassing me. Which in turn would draw your father and brothers over and make a scene. I’m so sorry. We fell right into his childish game.”

  Nick shook his head, his eyes dark and turbulent as he stared down at her, his hand warm against the bare skin above her camisole. She told herself to let go, but for some reason she felt the need to maintain the contact. Nick needed contact. Couldn’t any of them see that?

  “It doesn’t matter. This just proves I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t have come.”

  Oh, the look on his face. She’d seen Matt wear the same expression so many times recently, a mixture of pain and anger, as deep as his soul. “This isn’t about Todd, is it? Not all of it.”

  Nick was silent a long moment.

  She didn’t know what to say. She’d certainly sensed the tension between Nick and his family, and Nick had told her that they didn’t get along, but to reduce a man like Nick to his current state? That comment about Nick acting out…Alan Tulane should have taken Nick’s side and not put him down in public. In front of her. Didn’t his father see that Nick was worth a hundred Todd’s?

  “It’s always been like that,” Nick said, his voice low and soft. “When I was Matt’s age, my father would call me into the study and stand over me, lecturing me loud enough that everyone in the house heard what he was saying. And he gave me that same look. Sometimes it was my fault, but other times…”

  “Fathers expect a lot of their children, and even though Todd provoked you, maybe your father thought…I don’t know, that you should’ve ignored Todd or something.” It’s what her father had always expected of her. “I shouldn’t have asked this of you and I’m so, so sorry I did. I know exactly what it’s like to feel as if you don’t measure up.”

  Nick turned and fixed her with a disbelieving stare. “I’d like to meet the person you don’t think you measure up to.”

  Jenn tried to smile and failed. She hoped Nick never met Megs. One look and he’d probably fall at her feet like all the others, and she didn’t want that. “You’re not the only one with family problems. Some of my insecurities may have been of my own making, but some are the result of how people treated me. How my sister treated me. I could never compete.”

  She watched as his gaze swept over her, lingering close to her heart where his hand rested.

  “She couldn’t possibly be better than you.”

  “She’s everything I’ve never been,” Jenn corrected him. “A beauty queen, prom queen, homecoming queen, cheerleader. Miss All-around Everything. And if she wanted something I had…?” Jenn rolled her eyes and laughed. “She stopped at nothing to get it or something better. That included my…People in my life.”

  Nick’s gaze met hers. “Including Dixon?”

  Unable to help herself, Jenn smoothed her thumb over the texture of Nick’s jacket sleeve. “No. Todd and I met at college and we didn’t travel to my parents’ house m
uch because of his schooling and his schedule. When we did, I was smart enough to make sure my sister wasn’t going to be there. But my father…No matter what happened, he expected me to forgive her. Just like that. It became the saying in the house that my sister was Daddy’s girl and I was my mom’s. Mom was the only one who ever took my side. You were right,” she forced herself to admit. “This morning when I couldn’t say I was worth it…I couldn’t say it because I’ve never felt that way.”

  Nick pulled her against his chest and held her close, his chin resting on her head. “You’re worth more than Dixon or your sister put together, and I’m going to keep saying it until you believe me.”

  Inhaling the musky, tantalizing scent of him, she ignored the warnings her brain was giving her to pull away, to doubt him. Nick smelled so good. Man and musk and spices, the warmth of his body enveloping her, comforting her.

  “What did they say to you? Your sister and dad?”

  She closed her eyes and thought of those days at home. “Dad had a habit of comparing us, and I always came up short. He said he was being helpful by pointing out problem areas so I could work on them, but…”

  “He picked you apart in the process. That’s a lousy thing to do to a kid.”

  She nodded. “Megan was the only one he didn’t talk to that way. She looked more like him, whereas I took after my mom. Anyway, he always said how pretty she was. How Megan was his princess.

  “Maybe I took the comments too seriously. Anyway, I grew up. Got to a point in my life where I just tried to ignore them both, and then I met Todd and…He did the same thing. I thought it was normal. Except then I realized that he was worse—and there was a difference.”