The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen
Page 13
CHAPTER XI
_An interesting account of the Baron's ancestors--A quarrel relativeto the spot where Noah built his ark--The history of the sling, andits properties--A favourite poet introduced upon no very reputableoccasion--queen Elizabeth's abstinence--The Baron's father crosses fromEngland to Holland upon a marine horse, which he sells for seven hundredducats._
You wish (I can see by your countenances) I would inform you how Ibecame possessed of such a treasure as the sling just mentioned. (Herefacts must be held sacred.) Thus then it was: I am a descendant of thewife of Uriah, whom we all know David was intimate with; she had severalchildren by his majesty; they quarrelled once upon a matter of the firstconsequence, viz., the spot where Noah's ark was built, and where itrested after the flood. A separation consequently ensued. She had oftenheard him speak of this sling as his most valuable treasure: this shestole the night they parted; it was missed before she got out ofhis dominions, and she was pursued by no less than six of the king'sbody-guards: however, by using it herself she hit the first of them(for one was more active in the pursuit than the rest) where David didGoliath, and killed him on the spot. His companions were so alarmed athis fall that they retired, and left Uriah's wife to pursue her journey.She took with her, I should have informed you before, her favourite sonby this connection, to whom she bequeathed the sling; and thus it has,without interruption, descended from father to son till it came into mypossession. One of its possessors, my great-great-great-grandfather,who lived about two hundred and fifty years ago, was upon a visit toEngland, and became intimate with a poet who was a great deer-stealer;I think his name was Shakespeare: he frequently borrowed this sling, andwith it killed so much of Sir Thomas Lucy's venison, that he narrowlyescaped the fate of my two friends at Gibraltar. Poor Shakespeare wasimprisoned, and my ancestor obtained his freedom in a very singularmanner. Queen Elizabeth was then on the throne, but grown so indolent,that every trifling matter was a trouble to her; dressing, undressing,eating, drinking, and some other offices which shall be nameless, madelife a burden to her; all these things he enabled her to do without, orby a deputy! and what do you think was the only return she could prevailupon him to accept for such eminent services? setting Shakespeare atliberty! Such was his affection for that famous writer, that he wouldhave shortened his own days to add to the number of his friend's.
I do not hear that any of the queen's subjects, particularly the_beef-eaters_, as they are vulgarly called to this day, however theymight be struck with the novelty at the time, much approved of herliving totally without food. She did not survive the practice herselfabove seven years and a half.
My father, who was the immediate possessor of this sling before me, toldme the following anecdote:--
He was walking by the sea-shore at Harwich, with this sling in hispocket; before his paces had covered a mile he was attacked by a fierceanimal called a seahorse, open-mouthed, who ran at him with great fury;he hesitated a moment, then took out his sling, retreated back abouta hundred yards, stooped for a couple of pebbles, of which there wereplenty under his feet, and slung them both so dexterously at the animal,that each stone put out an eye, and lodged in the cavities which theirremoval had occasioned. He now got upon his back, and drove him into thesea; for the moment he lost his sight he lost also ferocity, and becameas tame as possible: the sling was placed as a bridle in his mouth; hewas guided with the greatest facility across the ocean, and in lessthan three hours they both arrived on the opposite shore, which is aboutthirty leagues. The master of the _Three Cups_, at Helvoetsluys, inHolland, purchased this marine horse, to make an exhibition of, forseven hundred ducats, which was upwards of three hundred pounds, and thenext day my father paid his passage back in the packet to Harwich.
_--My father made several curious observations in this passage, which Iwill relate hereafter._