All We Left Behind

by Danielle R. Graham

  F/O Pierce 05.05.45 Freedom Duration: 4 days.

  We abandoned the original plan to follow the railroad tracks and instead kept to the roads, which made travelling faster, but now I have worn through what remained of the sole of my boots. We’ve split into groups since not everyone can walk at the same speed. Gordie and I are in a mid-paced group because my legs are weak and I can’t keep up. He could have joined the faster-moving group, but he chose to stay with me. I don’t know why. I’d be running if I had the strength he has. I ate some flowers I found at the side of the road. Hopefully they’re not poisonous or anything.

  F/O Pierce 05.07.45 Freedom Duration: 6 days.

  I spent twenty minutes climbing a steep hill only to stumble near the top and roll halfway back down. My arms and face are raw from the scrapes. My legs are shaking from both the fatigue of the effort and the lack of sustenance. Goddamn, if it weren’t for Chidori I’d prefer to stay here and wait for death. But enough moaning. Gordie is sitting at the top waiting for me, so off I go to try again.

  F/O Pierce 05.09.45 Freedom Duration: 8 days.

  We have finally reached the railroad tracks that lead into Barth! Waiting eagerly for a freight train to hop.

  The train whistled as it entered the corner. Twenty of us hid in the bushes and waited for it to slow down. I stuffed my journal into my waistband and stood next to Gordie. He shoved me to make me go first. It took every ounce of energy I had to run and grab the handle of the freight door. I hoisted myself up and kicked my leg into the car. Gordie ran alongside the train, waiting until I was safely inside. He grabbed the handle and swung his leg up, but missed. His legs dropped back down and dragged on the ground dangerously close to the wheel.

  ‘Give me your hand,’ I shouted and reached for him.

  The train sped up and his grip on the door handle loosened.

  ‘Come on, Gordie. Reach!’

  He flung his free arm again, and I leaned out of the car to clasp his hand. His grip tightened around my fingers, but the momentum of the train pulled his weight away. We clung to each other for probably close to a quarter-mile but his grip began to slip. His eyes locked with mine in an apologetic way before he let go. He hit the ground and rolled several times before lying motionless on his back.

  ‘Shit.’ The terrain passed increasingly quickly below me. ‘Shit. Shit. Shit.’ Without pausing to think of the consequences, I closed my eyes and jumped off the train, then flipped with a painful thud into the ditch.

  It took a good while and wore holes in the knees of my trousers, but I eventually crawled back to where Gordie still lay on his back. He stirred and groaned when I shook him. ‘What the hell, Pierce?’

  ‘Sorry. I wasn’t strong enough to haul you in.’

  He sat up and rubbed the back of his head. ‘No. What the hell? Why did you jump off the train?’

  ‘I wasn’t going to leave you behind.’

  He grumbled and shook his head incredulously at how idiotic that was. ‘Well, great. Now we’re both stranded.’

  Gordie and I knew there was no point trying to jump another moving train, so we made our way along the tracks to the next town. The locals mumbled things that sounded at best unwelcoming and at worst downright hostile as we passed them. When I noticed we were being followed, we picked up the pace and ducked into an abandoned shop. We hid until it got dark, then slipped through the streets and crawled under the train station platform to wait for the morning train to arrive.

  Gordie snuck out at dawn when the first sound of passengers creaked above us. He stole clothes from unattended luggage and tickets from an elderly couple who had left them on the bench. I felt a pang of remorse about stealing from old folks who likely had little money themselves, but they’d have a better chance of talking their way onto the train than we would. And it certainly wasn’t the worst thing I had done over the course of the war.

  We boarded and sat in the passenger compartment as if we belonged. A few people gave us dirty looks, but since we didn’t speak English in front of them, they left us alone the entire way to Barth.

  F/O Pierce 05.12.45 Freedom Duration: 11 days.

  Evacuated 11:00 hours. B-17 Flying Fortress.

  Although battles in the Pacific and Asia are still being fought against Japan, the war in Europe is officially over. We won. Germany signed the surrender and we are officially going home. The American airmen were flown to France to board a ship from there. The Brits and anyone who had been in a POW camp since ’41 were the first to be flown out to London. Gordie and I spent two nights sleeping on the ground at the Barth airfield, waiting for our turn. We’ve arrived in London now and we’re bunked up together in tent barracks again. I don’t think I’ll actually believe anything has actually changed until I’m home on Mayne Island and holding Chidori in my arms.

  Gordie wrote letters to his parents and his wife to let them know he’s back on friendly ground and will be home soon. I’m afraid to write in case I jinx something, but I did finally drop a letter in the post for my parents. I asked them to inform Chidori when she returns. Once the government releases her from the internment camp, she will surely beat me home.

  The government gave us a pamphlet titled ‘Canada in the Last Five Years’. I’m reluctant to read it, but I suppose it’s better to know what I’ve missed.

  F/O Pierce 05.20.45 Freedom Duration: 19 days.

  I can’t sleep, but this time it’s not from nightmares or the feeling that something terrible is about to happen. It’s from the anticipation. It’s possibly mixed with the frustration of having to wait around. Gordie and I have done some sightseeing in London to expend our unused leave, but the only sight I want to see is home. Mercifully, we board the cross-Atlantic ship tomorrow.

  F/O Pierce 06.17.45 Freedom Duration: 46 days.

  The ship finally arrived in Halifax last week. It feels a relief to be on Canadian soil, but I’ve been informed that it will be another week or so before we get sorted onto trains to take those of us from BC across the country.

  Gordie’s assigned to a train that leaves for Winnipeg later today. He’s been talking about his planned reunion with his wife non-stop for three days. It is torture to be this close to Chidori and still not be able to slide my fingers over the silky smoothness of her skin. If she has fallen in love with someone else, this might be the last time I ever write.

  ‘All right, Pierce.’ Gordie raised his glass for our farewell toast at the pub. ‘I can’t say it’s been a blast. But I can say there ain’t no other fella I would have rather gone through hell with. I’ll still always have your back; all you need to do is ring me up. Pals.’

  ‘Pals for life.’ I clinked my pint to his and took a sip of ale. I was too choked up to say more, so I set my glass down and gave him a hug.

  He swatted my back. ‘Don’t forget to invite me to your wedding.’

  I nodded and swallowed the emotion.

  ‘Well, I need to get over to the train station. I guess this is goodbye for now. Safe travels home.’ He stood and shook my hand.

  ‘I’ll walk you to the station.’

  He agreed and we left the pub. I was terribly uneasy at the thought of not having Gordie around, but I was glad for him that he was getting to go home.

  When the train pulled into the station, we embraced once more and he picked up his kit. As he walked away, I shouted over the sound of the engine, ‘Gordie. I owe my life to you several times over. Thank you for everything.’

  He grinned and saluted.

  ‘I’m going to miss you.’

  He stepped up onto the train and hung out the door, holding the bar. ‘Save the mushy stuff for Chidori. I’ll write you.’ He waved and disappeared inside.

  F/O Pierce 08.06.45. Home.

  Chapter 37

  During the week-long cross-country train ride to Vancouver, I rehearsed the reunion with Chidori in my mind a thousand times. Sometimes I imagined that, although she didn’t know exactly when I was supposed to arrive, she’d by chance b
e waiting at the dock in Miner’s Bay when the ship pulled in. Other times, I surprised her at her house with picked flowers from the garden while she played violin in the solarium. Once, I envisioned showing up only to find that Chidori was married to someone else and expecting a baby. That scenario made me so depressed I decided it would be better if I didn’t visualize the reunion any more. And as it turned out, none of it mattered anyway.

  From the train station in Vancouver, I had to run to catch the sailing to Mayne Island. The crew had already prepared for departure but held the ramp for me because I was in the fresh uniform I’d been issued in Barth.

  The vessel seemed smaller, and the passenger cabin smelled mustier than I remembered. I had to step out on deck to escape the stuffiness. The wind tore through my hair as we crossed the strait, and the salt from the spray coated my lips as I hung over the edge of the railing. I was so close.

  The strangest sensation washed over me at the thought of being only minutes from the moment that had kept my hope alive for more than three years. A dream, only it was about to come true. My elation could not have been stronger as we finally passed the Georgina Point lighthouse and entered Active Pass. I could barely contain the urge to jump off the ship and swim the rest of the way. The first buildings visible on the island when we rounded the corner into Miner’s Bay were the doctor’s office and the Springwater Lodge. Just as when I left.

  Before the vessel was even secured, I hopped over the ramp railing with my kit and crouched down to touch the wood of the dock with my palm. The old, familiar planks, warm from the sun, reminded me of all the time I had spent as a kid sitting on the dock while my father and Massey sold fish from the Issei Sun. Before the other passengers disembarked, I jogged up the dock and ducked into the general store to buy a bouquet of flowers for Chidori. A young man who I didn’t recognize worked behind the counter.

  ‘Hi Hayden. Did you just get home?’

  ‘Yes.’ I handed him money from my stash of military back-pay, trying to place his face.

  He must have noticed my wheels turning because he said, ‘Gavin.’

  ‘Oh, Donna Mae’s kid brother. You’ve shot up since I saw you last. How’s that sister of yours?’

  ‘Fine. She’s expecting a baby.’

  ‘Really? Did she and Joey get married?’

  ‘Yup. They live over in Victoria now.’

  ‘That’s swell.’ I opened the door to leave and added, ‘Tell them I’m home, will ya?’

  ‘Sure thing.’ He waved and then helped the next customer.

  A black dairy delivery truck rolled up and parked out front as I exited the store. The driver was heavier than when I had last seen him, and he sported a moustache, but he was unmistakably Rory. His eyes met mine as he stepped out of the open sliding driver’s side door. When he recognized me he tipped his cap back. ‘Hayden.’ He extended his arm to shake my hand. ‘Good to see you. Welcome home, pal.’

  I shook his hand but frowned as I attempted to sort out why he was being so friendly. I still considered him the schoolboy bully that he had been before I left. But he’d evidently outgrown that. I wasn’t sure how to respond to his new level of maturity, so I ended up sounding like my mother and made a completely redundant comment. ‘You work for a dairy now.’

  ‘I own it.’ He slapped his palm on the hood of the truck with pride. ‘I started it after the evacuation.’

  ‘And Fitz? What’s he up to these days?’

  ‘He’s a bank manager over in Victoria. Engaged to be married.’ Rory slid his hands into leather gloves.

  ‘Wow. Manager? Impressive.’

  ‘Yup, he’s a bigwig now.’ Rory reached into the open sliding door and lifted a crate of milk bottles from the floor of the truck.

  To be perfectly frank, it annoyed me that they shirked their duty and hadn’t served. Or, maybe I simply resented that – since they hadn’t been conscripted – they had ultimately made the more prudent choice by not volunteering. It didn’t matter. What was done was done.

  ‘Are the flowers for your ma?’ he asked.

  ‘No. They’re for Chidori.’

  He paused briefly to check my expression, as if he worried I was not quite right in the head, then placed the crate on the ground in front of the store. ‘Chidori’s not here.’ He pushed his cap back on his head and then rested his hands on his hips, undecided whether he wanted to be the one to break the hard truth to me or not. ‘They never came back.’

  ‘Why? Because the war in the Pacific isn’t over yet?’

  ‘Actually, I heard on the radio the Americans dropped a new type of bomb on Japan that was so massive they wiped out an entire city.’

  I frowned as Michiko and her family crossed my mind. ‘Which city?’

  He shrugged. ‘I don’t know, but that battle’s essentially over. Japan will have no choice but to surrender now. Regardless, I doubt any of the Japanese-Canadian families will ever return to Mayne Island.’

  All of the organs inside my body contracted at the same time and sucked the air out of my lungs. ‘Why?’

  ‘The government auctioned off all of their properties and belongings. There’s nothing left for them to come home to.’

  It felt as if I’d been hit with that American bomb that was big enough to level an entire city. ‘Is the auction how you ended up owning the dairy truck?’

  ‘You bet. And thank my blessed horseshoes I got it for less than the appraised value, so I was able to keep my operation profitable through the war. Lucky, huh?’

  My knees weakened and my mind spun with hundreds of questions about who had bought everything and if anyone had tried to stop it from happening, but the most important question was, ‘Where are they all now?’

  He shrugged apologetically, then hauled another crate of bottles.

  I stood in the middle of the parking lot, numb with disappointment as he unloaded the rest of the milk, cheese and eggs. Once he was finished he glanced at me. ‘You okay?’

  I shook my head, not able to produce a more elaborate response.

  ‘You want a lift home?’

  I nodded, climbed into the passenger seat, and placed the bouquet on my lap. We didn’t speak as we crossed the island, but when he stopped on the road in front of my parents’ property I said, ‘She’ll come home as soon as I let her know that I’m back.’

  He half-smiled, as if he felt pity for me. ‘I’m sure she will. Say hi to her and your folks for me.’

  Still not accustomed to his friendly, grown-up demeanour, I stepped out of the truck. He waved and drove away in a cloud of dust.

  My father was in the front yard, working on the truck engine. When I walked up the driveway, still holding the flowers, he stood upright. Relief washed over his face as he wiped the grease off his hands onto a rag. ‘Eleanor!’ he shouted. ‘Eleanor! Get out here.’

  Ma opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch, squinting against the sun. She focused on Pop initially, wondering what he was hollering for, but then she followed his gaze until she saw me. Her hands flew to her mouth as she gasped and rushed down the steps to meet me. As soon as her arms were wrapped around me, I started to cry, which made her sob.

  Father’s arms circled both of us and he cupped my neck. ‘Welcome home, son.’

  ‘Oh, Hayden.’ Mother squeezed me for a long while before leaning back to get a good look at my face. ‘Why didn’t you ring us? We are so glad to see you. Are you okay?’

  I nodded and wiped my eyes with my sleeve. I handed her the bouquet.

  Pop hugged me again and slapped my back. ‘Damn, it’s good to see you.’

  Ma studied my scarred face with concern before she pinched my cheeks lightly. ‘You’re too skinny still. I’ll make us a nice welcome home dinner.’

  ‘No soup.’

  Her eyebrows angled sharply into a frown in response to my abruptness.

  ‘I mean thank you, but I can’t eat soup any more.’

  After a hesitation, she said, ‘All right.’ Her
worry deepened across her forehead, but she managed to bolster a smile. ‘I wish you would have rung on the telephone to say when you would be arriving. We would have met you at the dock and I could have prepared something special.’

  ‘Sorry. I wanted to surprise you.’

  ‘It’s okay, darling. It is the best surprise. Truly. The very best surprise. Our prayers have finally been answered.’

  I nodded and hugged her again before we made our way towards the house. ‘Patch!’ I hollered and then whistled. ‘Come here, boy.’

  Both my parents stopped in their tracks and exchanged an unsettling look with each other. A young docile golden retriever wandered out from behind the barn to check out who had been calling. I waited for a flash of black and white from a spunky Border collie to tear around the corner.

  ‘Patch died,’ Ma said.

  The news hit me as sharply as the time my Spitfire undercarriage wouldn’t drop and I had to smash down a hard belly-landing on the tarmac.

  ‘This is Lacey.’ She patted the golden retriever and looked up at me. ‘Doesn’t she have a lovely temperament?’

  My father studied my reaction and seemed to sense what my mother was oblivious to.

  When I didn’t make any overture towards the new dog, Ma shrugged, baffled by the awkwardness, before she headed into the house to get the meal started. Pop gave my shoulder a compassionate squeeze. ‘Sorry about Patch. Your mother thought it best at the time not to dishearten you with the news.’

  I nodded and swallowed hard to hold back the thwarted sting, then shifted my focus. ‘I need to let Chidori know I’m home.’