Zero Dwarfs Given (Dwarf Bounty Hunter Book 4)

by Martha Carr

  Johnny turned slowly toward the Red Boar and growled through clenched teeth. “He didn’t think we’d get this far.”

  “It would appear so, yes.”

  “Dammit, Nelson.” The dwarf turned toward Yarren. “Any idea where we can get a bigass van? Preferably reinforced, but at this point, I ain’t gonna be too picky.”

  The Kilomea’s eyes widened. “For what?”

  “Transport.”

  Percy gestured toward the front of the suite. “We have a van.”

  “Yeah.” Evan folded his arms. “The one that was supposed to get us to work on time this morning. Rocky’s gonna flip his shit.”

  “Well, how about I make y’all a deal, fellas?” Johnny sniffed and handed the pistol to Lisa. “You let us borrow that van, and I’ll make a personal call to your foreman and give y’all some recognition for helpin’ with a federal case backed by the FBI and everythin’.”

  Yarren rubbed the side of his hairy head. “We might as well. We’re probably out of work already anyway.”

  “And I’ll make sure we get that fixed up for ya.” Johnny stood from the couch and grunted at the pain in his gut.

  “What are you doing?” Lisa asked.

  “Gettin’ a few more things for the road. If the goddamn Department won’t come to us, we’ll bring this fucker to them. It’s only…what? An hour and a half to DC?”

  “Johnny…”

  “Just keep that gun trained on this prick’s ugly face, will ya? I’ll be right back.”

  Lisa stared at the Red Boar and held her pistol with both hands. The bound magical grinned at her through a mouth stained with blood, the side of his face swelling horribly where Johnny had kicked him. “Trouble in paradise?”

  She ignored him.

  Rex and Luther kept their distance, although they grew bolder by the second in order to sniff the guy’s wounds. “Hey, Rex. You know what this two-legs smells like?”

  “Like a pile of shit?”

  “Eh, I’m getting more of a fresh-grass kinda vibe.”

  Rex sniggered. “I can see that.”

  “You know, plenty of other critters runnin’ through. Maybe a big ol’ Great Dane came by and tried to draw a line all to himself.”

  “Better show him who’s here to stay, Luther.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking.” The smaller hound sniffed at the Red Boar’s shoes and jerked his head away when the prisoner flailed uselessly in his bonds.

  “Get this fucking dog away from me.”

  “Relax, man. I don’t even have a knife with me this time.” Luther stared at the back of the Red Boar’s scarred, misshapen gray head as he lifted a leg and relieved himself on the drug lord’s back.

  “What the—hey! Hey!” The Red Boar jerked but couldn’t avoid the stream soaking through his shirt.

  “That’s right, asshole!” Rex barked. “You’re not calling the shots anymore, are ya?”

  Luther lowered his leg and snorted. “You know what that means, don’tcha? It means Johnny’s got your ass in the bag now.”

  Lisa grimaced at the display but couldn’t bring herself to intervene.

  After backing up a few paces, Luther sat and licked his muzzle. “Don’t worry, Johnny. I taught him a lesson he’ll never forget.”

  The dwarf staggered through the living area as he slipped six more tranquilizer rounds into his modified pistol.

  “Guess what the lesson is, Johnny,” Rex said and his tail thumped on the floor and scattered shards of broken glass.

  Johnny stopped in front of the Red Boar, his jaw set in a tight grimace and his face alarmingly pale beneath his wiry red beard. “Don’t fuck with me.”

  All six tranquilizer rounds buried themselves in the thick skin of the Red Boar’s neck. The magical’s face thumped against the floor at round number four.

  With a grunt, Johnny turned and handed the pistol to Yarren. “I think I outta sit down for a spell. Do you mind stowin’ that in the black bag in the bedroom for me?”

  “Uh…sure.” The Kilomea took the pistol cautiously and stood to comply.

  “Whoever’s got the keys to that work van best pull the thing on around back.” Johnny didn’t so much sit on the couch again as fall back into it. “Then we’re takin’ a drive.”

  “I’ll get our things.” Lisa placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned over the back of the couch to look at him. “Johnny, you don’t look good.”

  “This ain’t the worst I’ve taken, darlin’. Not by a long shot. As soon as we drop this fucker off at the Bureau’s front door, I’ll be as right as rain.”

  “Where are we heading, exactly?” Phil asked.

  Johnny shook his head. “Ain’t no we about it, Phil. If you and your damn crew don’t get the hell outta my way, I still have enough rounds left for you. So y’all can leave now on your own, or you can get dragged out with a full dose of sleep-juice. It’s up to you.”

  Howie shuffled toward the director. “He’s fucking serious this time, Phil.”

  “But—”

  “Now is not the time.” The old man cracked his cane against the side of Cody’s camera. “Out. Everyone out right now!”

  “We’re not done filming!”

  “Leave the camera,” Johnny muttered. “We’re takin’ that with us.”

  “What? This is high-tech equipment,” Phil blustered. “You can’t—”

  “Anyone who feels like showin’ these folks out, I’d appreciate that gettin’ done right fuckin’ now.”

  Yarren came out of the bedroom and stalked toward Cody. “Hand it over.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Jesus. Okay.”

  “Everyone out!” Howie whacked here and there with his cane to usher the film crew out of the suite so Johnny and his makeshift team could finish the job on their own. “You call me if you need anything, Johnny.”

  “You bet.”

  Evan pulled their work van around to the back of the hotel and left the back double doors open. Twenty minutes later, Lisa burst through the rear exit of the hotel and held the door open while Percy and Yarren struggled to carry the unconscious Red Boar between them.

  “The fucker weighs a ton,” Yarren grunted.

  Percy scowled at the bundle of magical drug lord wrapped up in nine-hundred-thread-count king-sized sheets. “He smells like piss too.”

  “Did you expect anything else?” Luther called after them as he trotted through the door. “It’s like everyone’s lost their mind or something.”

  “Come on, Johnny. Hurry up.” Rex turned to watch his master step through the back door. “Shit. You don’t look so good.”

  “I’m fine, boys. Keep movin’.” Johnny steadied himself on the doorframe.

  Lisa tried to offer him a hand, but he waved her away. “Are you sure you can handle this?”

  “Who else is gonna?” He chuckled wryly. “No, I know you’re perfectly capable, darlin’. But I ain’t lettin’ you truck that shithead down to DC on your own. No way.”

  “Then promise me that as soon as we get him off our hands, you’ll lay down in a bed and not get up for a few days. That bullet hole won’t magically heal if you don’t rest.”

  “Yeah, you have my word.”

  Evan leapt out of the van’s driver seat and shrugged. “It’s all yours. You want us to help with anything else?”

  Percy and Yarren heaved the Red Boar into the back of the van and deposited him carelessly. A few boxes toppled on top of the unconscious magical before they shut the door with a bang.

  “Like what?” Johnny asked.

  “I don’t know, man. Make some calls or…hell, if anyone has another car, we can come with you.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” He nodded at the half-wizard. “Y’all have done enough to help us out for one day. I think we’ll be fine on our own from here. Thanks, fellas.”

  “It’s the least we can do.” Yarren reached out to shake the bounty hunter’s hand. “We kinda owe you for what you did at the senator’s house.”


  “Yeah, we’ll get that cleared up too. You can take my word on it.” Johnny whistled and waved for the hounds to join him. “Come on, boys. Time to move—” He stumbled and caught himself on the side of the van.

  “Okay, Johnny.” Lisa headed to the passenger door and pulled it swiftly open. “I think it’s time for us to break at least one of your rules.”

  “Which one, huh?”

  “The one where you always drive because I don’t think we’ll make it to DC with you behind the wheel.”

  He sniffed and waited for the dizziness to clear. “I think you’re right, darlin’.”

  The hounds bounded into the passenger seat, then dove into the back to accompany the unconscious Red Boar for their drive. “We got him, Johnny.”

  “Yeah, right where we want him. If he wakes up, I’ll piss on him again.”

  “The van ain’t ours, boys,” Johnny muttered as he hoisted himself up into the passenger seat with a grimace of pain. “Save it for when we dump this sack of shit outside Nelson’s office, huh?”

  “Oh, yeah. I can piss on him too.”

  Lisa nodded at the Kilomeas and half-wizard standing around the van. “Thanks for your help. We’ll make sure the van gets back to you, and we’ll do whatever we can to make sure you guys aren’t out of a job because you didn’t have to help us.”

  “Weird times, right?” Yarren shrugged. “Good luck.”

  “Yeah. Thanks.” Lisa opened the driver’s door and tossed Johnny’s duffel bag and her roller suitcase into the back. She buckled up and stared at the dwarf until he did the same. “I need you to stay awake while we’re on the road, got it?”

  “I ain’t got a problem stayin’ awake, darlin’. It’s this damn hole in my gut.”

  “Yeah. I won’t take you to a hospital, but you’ll get better medical attention as soon as we’re in DC and that asshole in the back is out of the back.”

  “Fine. Just go.”

  She shifted into drive and gritted her teeth. If he didn’t have a hole in his belly, I’d give him a dose of his own crazy driving medicine right now.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  As soon as they were on the highway headed toward DC, Lisa picked up speed more than she would have for any other normal drive across state lines. She glanced from Johnny breathing shallowly beside her and the rearview mirror through which she could see a white truck that had been following them since she’d first paid attention.

  “Johnny, I think we might have a tail.”

  “Huh?” He raised his head from where he’d rested it against the window and frowned. “What is it?”

  “A white truck. It kind of looks like our rental, but they haven’t gotten close enough for me to see much more.”

  “Don’t worry about it, darlin’. Just keep movin’.”

  “Well, I’m not about to stop and make whoever it is get out and ID themselves.” She glanced in the rearview mirror again. “But that doesn’t mean I can simply ignore it.”

  “Go ahead. Say what’s on your mind.”

  “That shifter called me this morning and set me up to get arrested. Whether he had any idea who I am or not, he had to know the Red Boar was moving in on your hotel room. And if he hasn’t worked out by now that his boss isn’t walking out of there with your blood on his hands, he soon will.”

  Johnny grunted. “It don’t matter. None of these assholes expected us to rent a work van from a couple of new pals. The shifter won’t know where to look for us.”

  “That’s not what I’m worried about.” Lisa glanced in the rearview mirror again at the sheet-wrapped mass of the Red Boar’s unconscious form sandwiched between Rex and Luther. “I gave Kellen the wrong room number on purpose when he asked. And they still found your suite without ever even checking in on the wrong room.”

  “Shit. So the burner phone was bugged?”

  “I think so, yes. And I had it on me in your room last night.” She brushed her hair away from her eyes and glanced in the side mirror at the white truck behind them. “And now I’m starting to regret the fact that neither one of us thought to check our cargo back there for—”

  A large gray SUV rammed into the side of the van and they spun sideways toward the right-hand shoulder of the highway. Lisa jerked her hands away from the wheel to steady herself against the doorframe. Johnny’s head thunked against the window with a crack. The hounds yelped and barked in the back of the van and scrambled over the Red Boar’s unconscious body as they were tossed around with the rest of the Kilomea crew’s work supplies.

  “Johnny!”

  “What’s going on!”

  “Who’s driving this?”

  When the van finally stopped moving, Lisa blinked heavily and tried to shake off the dizziness. “Johnny. Hey, Johnny. Come on.”

  With a groan, she unbuckled her seatbelt so she could lean toward him and shake him by the shoulder. “Johnny! We need to—”

  “Hey, who the hell’s the ponytail?” Rex asked with a snarl.

  Lisa gazed out through the windshield to where Kellen stalked toward them from across the other lane of traffic. The shifter’s eyes flashed silver above a wicked snarl.

  “Shit. Johnny!” She jostled him again, and the dwarf only groaned before his head slumped over his chest. When she turned his face toward her, his temple was sticky with blood. Worse, the bullet hole in his gut had started to bleed again.

  She drew her firearm and turned back to the highway. Kellen was gone, although the pile of his clothes left in the middle of the lane meant he’d already shifted.

  Pull it together, Breyer. Get rid of him. He must not get the Red Boar out of this van.

  Steeling herself, she shoved the door open and slid out to scan the highway with her weapon held in both hands. Rex and Luther leapt up from the back and followed her through the open door.

  “I smell shifter, lady.”

  “Yeah. Close. Aren’t we supposed to be driving right now?”

  Lisa stepped slowly down the side of the van and turned every few seconds to glance behind her.

  “Hey, Rex. You hear something weird?”

  “Movement. Yeah.”

  When she finally reached the back of the van, Lisa spun around the corner and prepared to fire but there was no one there. Where the hell did he go?

  Rex barked madly. “Up there!”

  “Watch out, lady!”

  Instinct warned Lisa and she spun in time to see the huge brown wolf bound at her from the roof of the van. She couldn’t bring her weapon up in time and was knocked onto her back by his massive weight. The gun flew from her hands and clattered across the asphalt.

  “Not cool, asshole!” Luther lunged at the wolf, snarling and snapping his jaws.

  Kellen turned and bashed Rex aside when he leapt toward him. The larger hound careened into the metal barrier along the side of the highway and yelped when he landed.

  “You asked for it now!” Luther lunged at the shifter, and Kellen clamped his jaws around the hound’s hind leg before he flung him aside too.

  Lisa regained her wits and tried to scramble along the shoulder toward her weapon. Kellen leapt in front of her with a snarl, then shifted right there and picked her pistol up.

  “It’s not your lucky day, is it?”

  She glared up at him, breathing heavily and fully aware of the naked man standing like a lunatic off the side of the highway. “You won’t get away with this.”

  “No, I’m very sure I already have.”

  The passenger-side door opened slowly with a creak, and Johnny slid out. His knees almost buckled when his boots touched the asphalt, but he steadied himself with a hand along the side of the van and shuffled toward the back. He drew his utility knife from his belt and flicked it out and a crust of dried blood fluttered to the ground.

  “It ain’t the best look for ya, pal,” he muttered when he reached the back of the van. “Naked shifters out in the swamp is one thing, but this is broad fuckin’ daylight.”

  �
��Oh, look.” Kellen grinned and lifted Lisa’s gun toward Johnny. “I think I hit a lucky streak.”

  “Johnny, get down!” she shouted and lunged toward the shifter’s arm.

  A shot cracked deafeningly across the highway, and Kellen slumped forward. Lisa scrambled out of the way to avoid being pinned to the road shoulder beneath a huge, naked man with a long ponytail. When he landed face-first on the asphalt, that ponytail was a matted mess of blood, barely covering the bullet hole.

  “What?”

  “Johnny!” Howie hobbled toward them from the front of their white rental truck parked fifteen yards down the shoulder.

  “All good, Howie.” The dwarf waved his friend aside. “You still have your good aim. I’m glad to see it.”

  “I have a bum leg,” the old man grumbled. “There’s nothin’ wrong with my arm. Are you all right?” He bent down to offer Lisa a hand.

  She took it but couldn’t stop staring at Kellen and the pool of blood that spread quickly around his head. “Yeah. I only…you were following us the whole time.”

  “There’s more than one reason Johnny called me in for this trip. Isn’t that right, Johnny?”

  “You bet.” The dwarf grunted and stumbled sideways against the van. “We should move, darlin’.”

  “Go on.” Howie nodded at her and slid his firearm into the waistband of his pants. “I’ll get this cleaned up. You two have somewhere to be before that dwarf bleeds out all over the seats.”

  “Right. Thank you.” She retrieved her gun from beside Kellen’s naked body and turned toward her partner. “Johnny, get back in the van.”

  “I’m workin’ on it.” He slipped his knife onto his belt and whistled weakly. “Boys, get in or get left behind. We’re rollin’ out.”

  The hounds shook themselves and staggered toward the van. “We sure taught that shifter a lesson, Johnny.”

  Rex snorted. “Yeah. He threw us a little farther than I thought, but the bastard got what he deserved.”

  “Y’all doin’ all right?”

  “Only a few puncture holes in my leg, Johnny,” Luther said as he hopped up onto the seat and almost didn’t make it. “I’m very sure I’m doing better than you are right now.”