A Lifetime to Share

by Kathleen Ball

  “Of course.” She crawled toward the back and grabbed a glass jar filled with water along with a tin cup. The water gurgled as she poured some into the cup. Then she managed to crawl back without spilling any. That couldn’t have been easy with the constant swaying of the wagon. “Here.” She handed it to him.

  His hand shook a bit, but he finally got the sweet water down his throat. It felt so good going down. “Thank you.” Another blush graced her cheeks. Dang it, his feelings for her were anything but sisterly. He needed to get out of the wagon as soon as possible. His body was beginning to respond to her nearness. He gripped the blanket again. Hopefully, she was too naive to notice.

  “I think someday I’d like to be like Lynn and adopt a few children. I know what it’s like to be unwanted. I wonder if they’d allow a single woman to adopt…”

  “I don’t think so, but things might be different out west. The rules aren’t always the same. I’m sure you’ll find a good husband in Oregon.”

  Her face fell and he could see the sadness and doubt in her eyes.

  “You don’t think you’ll get married?” he asked, keeping his voice gentle.

  “I’m no prize, and with my lame leg it’ll be a challenge to find anyone willing to take me on. I really need to figure out what I plan to so when I get to Oregon. I was supposed to build a farm with my parents, but I’m not needed anymore. I really don’t have any other skills except farming and keeping house. But if a man is desperate enough, who knows?”

  He hated that she had such a low opinion of herself, but he really didn’t know what to say. She had many good qualities that would outweigh her limp, but he didn’t think it the time to tell her.

  The wagon’s bumping and jostling motion began to slow.

  “Seems we’re stopping,” said Eli. “I’ll be glad to stretch my legs.”

  “Don’t overdo it. You’ve plenty of men to do the work. The train needs you whole and healthy.”

  “I’ll be fine, but thanks for worrying about me.”

  “Do you need help?”

  “No, go on. I’ll be out as soon as I can find my clothes.” He winked at her, and her resulting blush pleased him. He waited while she scrambled out of the wagon.

  The dizziness had stopped, and he quickly got dressed. Then he climbed out of the back but jerked backward when he was confronted by angry faces in front of him. “What’s going on?”

  “We’re trying to decide what to do about Amelia,” Benjamin Cruthers said heatedly.

  “Do about Amelia?” He widened his stance and slapped his hat against his thigh. “I don’t see how she’s any of your business anymore.”

  “It’s all of our business when immoral acts are taking place within the camp. And it’s our duty to put an end to it.”

  The crowd that had gathered seemed to be on Benjamin’s side.

  “Tell me what’s going on.”

  Cheryl Cruthers stepped forward. “Amelia has entertained many men during the storm. And she’s been in a wagon with you for over a day. Alone with you that is. What are we supposed to think?”

  Irritation flared, and he had a hard time holding it in check. “You’re supposed to think you raised your daughter to be of fine moral character and she was nursing me,” he snapped. “I was out cold until about an hour ago if that.”

  Cheryl crossed her arms in front of her. “So you say. What about the Downey boys? She spent a few hours alone in a wagon with them.” She nodded as though her words were damning.

  Eli threw his head back and guffawed. “Those boys wouldn’t know what to do with a grown woman, and you know it. I think you’re just mad that Amelia wasn’t left behind the way you intended. And the excuse you gave her was pretty lousy. The fare for the ferry wasn’t per passenger at all.” He narrowed his gaze on her. “You’re the one who should be ashamed.”

  The crowd became quiet, and most eyes focused on Cheryl.

  “I spent my days raising up a crippled girl. It wasn’t easy at all. But instead of thanks, all I get is your condemnation. We had to make a choice. Aaron or Amelia and Aaron was the better choice. Life isn’t always easy and sometimes choices have to be made.”

  Eli waited for the outrage from the crowd, but it didn’t happen. “I’m sorry you aren’t happy with Amelia’s actions, but she’s done nothing to be ashamed of.” He finally got a chance to glance over to where Amelia stood. The shame and hurt were apparent in her stance, and on her face. And he ached for her. “This is the end of this conversation.” He turned to walk away.

  “Hold up there, Eli!” Benjamin called. “This is not done. The honest people here don’t want her traveling with us. Who knows whose wagon she’ll climb into next? It may be her only way to make a bit of cash.”

  Amelia gasped. “How dare you?”

  “I dare because I know you!” her father roared.

  Amelia took a step back and raised her hand to her chest. “Is this what all of you think of me?” One by one, the people of the party nodded.

  “Folks back to your wagons,” Smitty said in a booming voice. “We’ll let you know what we decide.”

  There was much grumbling but finally everyone had left. Eli sank down onto a crate and closed his eyes. Now what?

  There wasn’t a fare per person? Amelia was going to be sick. They’d just left her behind for no real reason? They just didn’t want her anymore? She hadn’t been born crippled but her mother sure made it sound like it. She’d made it sound as though she’d done all the work along the trail, and not Amelia. If her mother hadn’t pushed her down the cellar steps when she had been only six, she wouldn’t have her limp. This couldn’t be happening. They were trying to get her thrown off the train. How did they expect her to live?

  They didn’t. Just when she thought they couldn’t hurt her anymore they stuck a knife in her heart and twisted it. It was an effort to take a full breath, and she began to feel lightheaded. She didn’t want or need pity, so she walked away and into the nearby woods. The sound of rushing water was near and she made her way to the creek. It was a lovely place with green foliage, and the water seemed to be so clear.

  Would exposing her feet and splashing in the water be scandalous? Probably, but at this point did it really matter? She pulled off her shoes and set them aside, then peeled down her stockings and tucked them into her shoes. The ground under her bare feet was rough, but when she waded into the water, its coolness felt so nice. She almost smiled as she squished her toes in the sandy river bottom.

  But thoughts of her situation intruded. Where to go and what to do? Perhaps another train would take her, but she didn’t know why they would. Life would be so much easier if she didn’t have her darn limp, but she couldn’t change that. Perhaps there was a town nearby… She sighed. No matter where she went, it would be the same thing. People would notice her lameness and judge her for it. It just wasn’t fair.

  It was totally absurd to mention the Downey boys. What were her parents thinking? They were nice boys and that was it. True, being alone in a wagon with a man under different circumstances could be considered bad behavior but Eli had been thrown from his horse. And the crowd. Why were they siding with her parents? They all liked Eli, and they knew he’d never take advantage of her.

  No, her parents wanted her gone. It was that simple. A twig snapped, and she turned. There stood Eli and his expression wasn’t a happy one. He frowned and his eyes burned in fury. This was it. He was going to tell her for the good of the party that she’d have to leave.

  She held her breath as he came closer.

  “Heck of a day, huh?”

  She nodded waiting to see what else he had to say.

  “I have some news. You can stay if we get married.” His voice was void of all emotion and he didn’t look at her.

  “That’s not a solution you want, so I can’t.”

  “It’s the best way.”

  She put her hands on her hips. “Why? What are my choices? I did nothing wrong.”

  “I kn
ow you didn’t. But the point is, everyone thinks you did. I offered for you, so we’ll be married after supper tonight.” He locked his gaze with hers, and she could see it all—his reluctance, his anger, his regret.

  “No one else offered for me?” When he didn’t respond, she knew the answer. No one else needed more burdens added to their lives. “I’d rather just leave than force you into a marriage you don’t want.”

  “It wouldn’t be a fake marriage. We will live together, help each other…and sleep together.” He didn’t blink while he waited for her answer.

  “You won’t want to sleep with me. You don’t know what you’re getting into. I’m hideous. One look, and you’ll be sleeping alone. It’s not fair to you.”

  “I can’t believe any part of you would be hideous. I think we might be able to make a go of it,” his voice was less than confident.

  “What about love? Didn’t you want a wife you could love?”

  He shook his head. “No. I don’t think I have it in my heart to love another that deeply. I’ve lost so much in my life, I tend to distance myself when someone tries to get close. I have a ranch in Oregon. I own it with my two brothers. Mike is running it now with his wife.”

  “Is that what you plan to do? Ranch?”

  “No, I’m a guide. I’ll be gone a lot, but it can’t be helped. You’ll have a roof over your head, though, and you’ll never have to worry again about where you’re supposed to be.”

  Turning away, she splashed the water with her feet before she climbed back up the bank. She sat down and pulled her stockings on and then put on her shoes all while thinking about what she should say or do. She never really thought to marry and she wasn’t mentally prepared to enter into one.

  “And if I say no?”

  “They mean to leave you behind with a supply of food and water.”

  Her hand instantly covered her mouth. “They can’t do that! You’re in charge!”

  “I’m in charge of getting us there and most everything else but this is about morals, and it’s the type of thing the whole party votes on. I’m as sorry as can be. I know I’m no prize but I don’t see any other way.”

  “You won’t beat me will you?”

  One side of Eli’s mouth quirked upward followed by a soft chuckle. “No, I won’t beat you. Please say yes.”

  Lord knew they both didn’t want this, but she felt as though it was her only choice. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” She gave him a shy smile.

  He smiled back, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I think the best way to get your parents’ goat is to act happy. They think they’re punishing us. Let’s make sure they know we don’t think of it that way.”

  “Good plan. Eli? Thank you for everything.”

  He grasped her hand and entwined his fingers with hers. “Let’s do this, Amy.”

  “Amy?”

  “A brand new life and a brand new name. You’re no longer Amelia, their daughter. You will be Amy, my wife. That is, if you like the name. It suits you.”

  “I do like it.” They walked hand in hand back to the wagon circle, smiling and laughing. Eli was right it made her parents angry, and her heart became lighter.

  Smitty and Jed sat by the fire, and they both stood when she and Eli approached.

  “By your smiles I think we’re having ourselves a wedding!” Smitty declared happily.

  Jed shook Eli’s hand and then he kissed her cheek. “Welcome to the family, Amelia.”

  She shared a glance with Eli. “Thank you, but it’s Amy from now on. I want nothing my parents ever gave me.”

  Smitty laughed. “Sounds like a great way to start out. The reverend is all set to get you two hitched, and I heard tell of a party after. You know, with dancing and the like.”

  Jed groaned. “No dancing. I’m tired of the women always stepping on my toes.”

  “Don’t look at me. It’s my wedding and I only plan to dance with Amy.” Eli winked at her.

  Dread filled her. “Eli, I can’t dance.”

  “I’ll teach you,” he replied.

  Her face heated. “No, what I mean is because of my limp, it hurts to try to dance.”

  A look of dawning spread across his face. “Well, heck I might have hit the jackpot. I may never have to dance again! I guess this means you should get your dancing boots on Smitty, you’ll be popular tonight.”

  “We all have to make sacrifices, you know.” Smitty smiled.

  “Who is she?” Jed asked.

  “Who what?” Smitty’s smile widened.

  “There must be someone you’re looking forward to dancing with. Usually you hate dancing, just like the rest of us.”

  “I’d best get supper finished. I can’t get anything done with y’all gossiping like old ladies.” Smitty grabbed the cook pot and went to the creek.

  As soon as he was out of sight, both Eli and Jed laughed. “It should prove to be an interesting evening,” Jed commented.

  Eli nodded as he stared at Amelia…Amy. “Very interesting indeed.”

  Eli’s attention was on everything else except for what the reverend was saying. Finally the “I dos” were said, and he was supposed to kiss the bride. He looked into Amy’s hopeful face and cupped her cheeks with both hands before leaning down. Her lips were plump, sweet, and much softer than he imagined. He kissed her longer than was customary and stopped when Reverend Otter cleared his throat.

  Eli took her hand and they both turned to the gathered crowd. He had on his best clean clothes, while Amy wore a pretty blue dress belonging to Lynn Downey. She looked as a newborn foal and he was proud to have her at his side.

  He smiled at the Cruthers while they glared at him. Their anger made it worthwhile. They were the ones who should be ashamed of their behavior. He bet no one knew how cruel Cheryl Cruthers had been to her own daughter. No, she had them all fooled. It didn’t matter anymore.

  They received well wishes from most folks, and someone had started to play the fiddle. Soon enough people were dancing and having a good time. He somehow got parted from his wife and found himself cornered by Benjamin and Cheryl.

  “Who told you about her inheritance? I know you must know,” Cheryl screeched at him.

  “That money is going to us. We raised her. We deserve it,” Benjamin growled.

  Eli stared, unable to form an answer. He took a step forward.

  Cheryl put her hands on her hips. “She’s worthless to you as a woman, so the only reason I can see for you to marry her is for the money. Her parents left it to her, but they didn’t realize how much of our money and hard work would have to go into raising her. We aim to claim that money one way or another, so don’t get in our way.” Cheryl gave him another glare before she turned and stomped away followed by her husband.

  He then realized that Amy had heard the whole conversation. The confusion on her face hurt his heart.

  “What are they talking about? What inheritance?” Her voice cracked as she spoke and she pinned him in her sharp stare. “Do you know something you aren’t telling me?” Her voice cracked as she spoke.

  Eli took her small hand into his and gave it a light squeeze. “Come, let’s take a walk.” He led her outside the circle of light created by the wagons and continued until he was sure they were alone. “I didn’t know anything. But now we know why they wanted to be rid of you.” He hesitated. “I don’t think they planned for you to live to see Oregon.”

  “That’s what I thought they meant too. But I don’t understand the part about my parents. I thought— Aren’t they my parents?”

  “Seems to me that the Cruthers are not your father and mother, but you were somehow put into their care. It’s a bit of a mystery, but if they planned to take the money they made a big mistake by having us marry and then telling me.”

  He felt her shiver and embraced her, pulling her to him. “If you die, the money goes to me not them. We really messed up their plans good. I think we should be on our guard though. I don’t trust either of them.”
r />   She laid her ear against his heart. “I don’t trust them either, but their claim of an inheritance explains a lot.”

  He stroked her back up and down until she stopped shaking. “What do you mean by that?”

  “They never liked me. I always felt as though I was living on their charity instead of being their daughter. When Mother—I mean Cheryl—pushed me down those steps she probably meant to kill me.”

  He stiffened. “Threw you down the steps? What do you mean?”

  Her voice trembled as she spoke. “I was six. Cheryl told me to go in the root cellar for some apples. Then she yelled that I wasn’t moving fast enough, and she—she pushed me. I fell…” She shrugged. “I don’t remember much after that, but I was hurt badly. Bones in my leg broke… She didn’t get any help for me.”

  “If I had to guess, I’d say someone must have come along and they had to get you to a doc. After that, they probably wouldn’t dare stage another accident.”

  She wrapped her arms around his waist. “We must be talking a lot of money.”

  “Not necessarily. I’ve seen people do awful things for what amounted to not much.”

  She let go and gazed up at him. “Thank you. It’s nice to not have to fight my battles alone. I’m sorry though that somehow I put you in danger.”

  Her eyes seemed to glow in the moonlight. He swooped down and stole a kiss from her before he caught her hand. “Let’s go join our party.”

  He led her into the middle of the circle. “I know dancing isn’t for you, but we can sway to the music can’t we?” He smiled at her frown. “It’s our wedding. Let’s dance just this once.”

  She nodded and stepped easily into his arms. He knew her to be strong, but she felt like a precious flower put into his care. If he held too tight, she’d break but if he didn’t hold at all, she’d wither. He made slow small movements with his feet and she kept up quite well. His heart swelled when she glanced up at him and smiled.