Grayscale

by A. E. Clarke

  Another thunk. “Okay—fuck, where’d I put it?” I got up from my computer, leaving my email to load while I looked.

  “The camera?”

  “Yeah, you know, to take the video I’m going to send you?”

  “You’re completely serious when you say that—”

  “That Holly has superpowers, yep.”

  “Jesse, what the fuck?”

  I whipped around as I stepped into the hallway outside my room and saw Holly standing there, her hair dripping. She’d obviously just stepped out of the shower—I couldn’t believe I hadn’t noticed the ambient noise when I walked in.

  Shit. “Um. Brent, I’m going to have to go, I think.”

  “Is Holly there?”

  “Yeah, and she looks all kinds of pissed.”

  “I…okay. I’ll talk to you later, hon. I love you. Try not to die.”

  Been there, done that. I gulped. “Love you too, ’bye.” I pressed the End button and tossed the phone onto my bed.

  “You told him.” It wasn’t a question. She also didn’t sound nearly as angry as her body language was telling me she was.

  “Yes.”

  “Why? What could possibly have made you tell him?”

  “I don’t know—the fact that we’re dating, and he could tell something was wrong? Haven’t you told Alex?” Her gaze immediately slid from mine, and my jaw dropped. “You haven’t told him yet?”

  “I didn’t want to tell you, Jesse!”

  I backed up a step at her sudden outburst, then regained my bearings and stepped forward again, grounding myself and keeping my stance wide, trying to get into a defensive frame of mind. Even if it was only mentally and not physically.

  “Why not?”

  “Do you even need to ask that?”

  I blinked a few times and nodded, slowly. “Yeah, I really do need to ask that.”

  “I…” She sighed, and her body…gave up, as in she went from extremely angry/almost possessed to completely defeated, all in the blink of an eye. “I can’t control my powers. And if I can’t control my powers, I can’t use them properly. If I can’t use them properly, then…well, this happens. First the bus, and then you, and—”

  “So you work on it.”

  She jerked backwards and blinked, clearly confused. I almost laughed. How amusing the situation would have looked to an outsider.

  “How the hell is it that you’re…never mind.” She turned away and walked towards her bedroom. “I’ve still got to do a lot of thinking. Your camera’s in the living room.” She motioned with her hand as she walked away. Her voice sounded…almost dead, like she’d stopped caring.

  I opened my mouth to tell her to turn around, tell me what was wrong, but I closed it, forcing myself to stay silent and walk towards the stairs. This battle isn’t worth it, Jesse. At least, not yet.

  I grabbed the camera and made it upstairs before succumbing to the temptation to look at what it had captured. Flipping open the LCD screen, I held rewind for a second and hit the playback button.

  It was only about five seconds from the end of the footage: it was focused on her hand, which was barely covered to the point of opacity. I heard her say, “Hey Jesse, watch this”—her voice was tinny through the speakers—and then her hand flared. Even watching on the tiny screen, I had to squint, but pretty much as soon as it filled with bright white, the camera clicked and stopped the playback, signalling the end of the recording.

  “Um…” I hadn’t thought about it before, but if the camera was that close to me, wouldn’t it…?

  I checked the battery. It said it was still at full power, which was…weird. I was almost certain it was only at about half power when I’d turned it on in the first place. Interesting.

  I shrugged and grabbed the cable out of the cabinet in the hallway. As I walked into my room towards my computer, the instant messenger icon started flashing at the bottom of my screen.

  Brent: you there, hon?

  Jesse: Yeah, I just got to my computer.

  Brent: she sounded ticked

  Jess: A bit. She hasn’t even told Alex and apparently didn’t want to tell me.

  I reached down to plug the camera cable into the computer tower beneath my desk and hit my head on the way back up. Rubbing my head and cursing, I looked back at the screen.

  Brent: You’re not kidding, are you?

  I sighed. Brent was stubborn—oh, Lord, was he stubborn—but I’d kind of hoped I could win him over more easily than this.

  Jesse: Let’s put it this way…

  Jesse: I found the camera and cable.

  Brent: ?

  Jesse: I haven’t had time to edit it.

  Jesse: Hell, I’ve barely had time to save it to my computer.

  Jesse: Promise you’ll believe it’s real

  Jesse: ?

  Brent: of course

  Brent: are you mad at me for not believing you??

  Jesse: No, I understand…a bit disappointed, that’s all.

  Brent: k…

  I uploaded the file and sent it in an email to Brent, jiggling my leg up and down in lieu of biting my lip.

  Jesse: Okay, it’s sent.

  Brent: k I’ll check my email

  Jesse: I’m gonna make myself a sandwich while I’m waiting, okay?

  Brentinator: k love you talk to you soon

  I pushed my chair back, swung around, and went down to the kitchen, straight to the fridge.

  “Did you send him the video?”

  I nodded. Grabbing what I needed, I closed the fridge door.

  “Your hair’s sticking up a bit.”

  Holly tried—and mostly succeeded—at smoothing it down, and then took the couple steps until she was standing next to me, being as threatening as she was able to be without…well…

  “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “I nodded,” I said and started making my sandwich. “I haven’t seen his reaction to it yet, but I sent it to him, yes.”

  “You couldn’t’ve had him over?”

  I raised my eyebrow but didn’t look at her. “Well, I could have, but I wanted to show him quickly. We’re having our first real argument over this, and I want it to be over as quickly as possible.”

  “I don’t want that video to get out there.”

  Now I turned to look at her. “It’s not going to. I trust Brent.”

  “How can you be sure he’s not going to spread it around? A video like that would make a decent amount of money.”

  I started laughing. “Okay—first of all, I don’t think it would. Secondly, I know he wouldn’t do that.”

  “How can you know?”

  I shook my head at her and turned back to my sandwich. “I do. I trust him. We were good friends before we were dating, and I trust him. Same way you trust Lex Luthor.” I glanced at her; she was cracking her knuckles and had taken a step backwards. She looked really guilty.

  “You don’t trust Alex?” I asked. I cut my sandwich in half and put it on a plate, taking down a glass as well. I opened the fridge again to grab some juice.

  “It’s not that I don’t trust him—”

  “Then why haven’t you told him about your powers yet?”

  She cracked another knuckle, and I shook my head.

  “That’s becoming a habit.”

  She stuck out her tongue at me.

  I chuckled as I put the juice back in the fridge. “You know, that’s not a good sign. You should be able to trust people. Hell, you don’t even trust me.”

  “I do!”

  “Only because I walked in on you playing around with it.”

  “I probably would have told you…”

  I held my hand up to stop her. “Anyway, the point is that you don’t need to worry. Brent wouldn’t spread the video.”

  “I don’t see how you can be so sure.”

  I shrugged, walking past her with my sandwich and juice. “I just am,” I said and went back up to my room, shoving my door closed with my hip.
<
br />   Brent: You back yet?

  I looked at the timestamp: it was only a minute ago.

  Jesse: Yeah. What did you think?

  Brent: i cant believe it

  Brent: how did she get them??

  Brent: how long has she had them??

  Jesse: She noticed after the explosion.

  Brent: the bus?

  Jesse: No, the first one.

  Brent: wait…

  Jesse: D’you want to phone instead of texting? Easier to talk about this.

  Brent: k gimme a minute, don’t want parents hearing

  I flipped on my music and shut my door. It wasn’t the music I would have normally chosen for this, but I needed to get into the right frame of mind. I pushed my chair to the side and let myself fall into the music; I didn’t think about how I looked; I didn’t think about how stupid I would’ve felt a few years ago doing this. I just moved with the music. No one was watching, and even if they were, I had my eyes closed. I concentrated on the energy flowing through me, contained by my body and energized by my dancing.

  “What’s wrong?

  I stopped mid-step and whipped my head around. Holly was there, in my doorway. I hadn’t heard the door open.

  “Nothing,” I said. “I was… The energy of the room felt different, I guess because you opened the door.” I went to the computer and paused the music.

  “I see. Well, uh…”

  “Mm?” I strode over to my coat, which was slung over the corner of my bed, and reached into my pocket to pull out my phone.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Okay, that’s even weirder than having seen her cry. “What?”

  “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been difficult to deal with for the past couple weeks, and I know you’re going through a lot of shit as well, especially if people at school know about you and Brent—”

  “They don’t. At least, I don’t think anyone does.”

  “Oh. Well, regardless, I’m sure you’re not exactly stress-free, so…I’m sorry. I’ve been leaning on you a lot, and you’re my little brother. I shouldn’t be doing that to you.”

  I shrugged, and my phone started ringing. I was one of the few people I knew who still used the sound of an actual phone ringing. “Okay, apology accepted. Get out now.”

  “Brent?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What was his reaction?”

  “I dunno. I’ll tell you later.” I moved to close the door; Holly took the hint and gracefully stepped out as it was closing.

  I flipped open my phone and held it to my ear. “Hey, hon.”

  “H-hey.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “My entire world was kind of turned upside down, Jess. I mean seriously, she…she can do that now?” He was pausing after every few words. He sounded like he was out of breath.

  “Yeah. I dunno why, but…hey, she can.”

  “So…is what I think happened true?”

  “What do you think happened? What do you mean?”

  “Well, I mean…the whole bus thing…”

  Ah, hell. “Yeah?”

  “She did it, didn’t she?”

  “Kind of. You’re sure you can’t come over? This would be one whole hell of a lot easier face-to-face.”

  He paused before responding, and I started to worry.

  “My parents are cracking down—they know I have a project due tomorrow.”

  “What for?”

  “Studies in Lit. Now stop, back up, and tell me what the fuck happened on the bus.”

  I sighed. “She was trying to stop a hijacking.”

  “Yeah, we caught that much.”

  “And she kind of…let off too much energy.”

  I could see him raising his eyebrow, crystal clear in my mind’s eye. “She let off too much energy?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I…see.”

  “Look, she’s obviously not perfect, okay? But she…she learned how to use these powers, and she’s not used to it yet.”

  “No, I understand. That makes a lot of sense. She tried to go too far with it, and things got out of control. Sort of like if someone tries to lift too heavy a weight and pulls something.”

  “Yeah. Except that this kind of affected more than her ankle or wrist or something.”

  “Yeah.”

  “But it’s basically the same thing.”

  “Okay, then. I’ll… Wow. Are you sure you should be staying with her?”

  I blinked, unable to make sense of that. “How wouldn’t it be safe? She’s not going to do anything with it while I’m nearby.”

  Except she did. And that’s how she killed you.

  “Are you sure? She might be training her powers or whatever. She might be trying to figure out what she can do, and she might go too far again.”

  Like she did last night.

  “Hon?”

  I shook my head. At some point, I’d sat on the bed, cradling my phone between my head and shoulder, and had tucked my knees up to my chin. “I’m still here, sorry. I don’t think I need to worry.”

  “You’re sure? I don’t want you to get hurt, hon.”

  “No, it’s…oh, fuck.” I picked at the sleeve of my shirt, where there was a burn mark on the ragged edge.

  “What? What happened?”

  “I dunno—um, I mean, I don’t know how I have a burn on my sleeve.”

  “A burn?”

  “Not an electrical burn, I don’t think, babe. Don’t worry.” Although I can’t be sure, I suppose.

  “Okay, I…maybe I should talk to my parents about this?”

  “Wait, you expect them to believe you?” Of course Brent would want to show someone.

  “They’ll believe the video.”

  “They’ll think it’s CGI, babe. And I…kind of promised Holly you wouldn’t show anyone else.”

  “Oh.” I couldn’t tell if he sounded disappointed or just annoyed.

  “She was already angry enough at me for showing it to you.”

  “Why?”

  “She wanted me to invite you over, and I didn’t understand why she was so against the video.”

  “Well, I understand, but I don’t know why she’d assume I’m not trustworthy.”

  “In her defence, she doesn’t really know you.”

  “But still.”

  “Anyway, I needed to make sure you realized that, okay?”

  He paused, then said, “Uh, I nodded, but I guess you can’t see that. Right. Anyway.”

  I laughed. “You’re a dork.”

  “Oh, this coming from you?”

  “I know, eh? Means so much more coming from me, doesn’t it?”

  “Ouch.”

  “It’s okay. I know in your heart that you’re a big dumb jock.”

  “Smartass.”

  “Smart as the rest of me!”

  “Okay, I’m going to go have dinner now. My parents are yelling at me.”

  “Okay, hon. Love you.”

  “Love you too, babe.” I pressed End—otherwise our goodbyes would last forever—and put my music back on. I still felt odd, but I figured it was just knowing that Holly had seen me dancing.

  Chapter Twenty-Three: Holly

  After leaving Jesse’s room, I stood in the kitchen and stared at the fridge. I’d eventually make dinner, but Jesse wouldn’t be in much of a rush to eat, considering I’d watched him make a sandwich.

  “Do I really not trust Alex?” I asked aloud, trying to force myself to focus on the question. Since he’d said it—or, rather, implied it—I couldn’t seem to focus on anything else. The question kept floating to the forefront of my mind, obscuring everything else. We’d been going out for almost three years now. How could I not trust him as much as Jesse trusted Brent?

  No, I trust him, I thought, but… No, I don’t know if I can really say that I do.

  I thought back to the very beginning of all of this, when the transformer had exploded above my head. I’d been thinking about phoning Alex for a couple days
by that point to ask him about Lily and her party. I hadn’t known he’d fallen out of favour with the friend I’d used to keep an eye on him when I wasn’t there.

  And hell, there was the fact that we had a mutual friend who I pretty much only talked to when I wanted to make sure Alex was being truthful. He didn’t even know we’d talked. I think the friend also had a bit of a thing for me. In the three-year run of our relationship, he was the only person who had ever tempted me to cheat on Alex.

  I flipped open my phone, hit speed dial one, and listened as it let off the familiar sequence of beeps as it dialled Alex’s phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, hon.”

  “Oh—hey, Holly. What’s up?”

  “I… You don’t sound like you’re happy to hear from me.”

  “Of course I am!” He really didn’t; he sounded distracted, like whatever cheer he was showing was forced. “I’m definitely happy to hear from you—every time. You know that, babe. I wasn’t…wasn’t expecting you, is all.”

  “Okay?”

  “So what’s up?” He sounded out of breath.

  “I…I dunno. I just needed to talk with you.”

  “About what?”

  “I just needed to talk to you for a bit. Having a bad day. Are you busy?”

  “I…” I heard a bit of mumbling in the background before the sound became muffled. It immediately sent up red flags.

  “Who’s there?” I asked.

  “What?” His hand moved over the microphone of the phone. I could hear the rustling as he moved it.

  “Who’s there with you?”

  “Oh, no one.”

  “Okay, then why did I hear someone talking before you put your hand on the phone?”

  “That was just the TV.”

  “So…why did you put your hand over the phone?”

  “I didn’t! Why are you prying?”

  “Why aren’t you telling me the truth?”

  He sighed. “It’s Lily, okay? I know you don’t like her, and you’ve already practically accused me of cheating on you with her, so I didn’t want you to worry about anything.”

  “Do I need to worry?”

  Only a moment of hesitation, and then, “No, of course not.”

  “Well, you’re sure as hell not making me feel any better about not worrying by hiding that you’re hanging out with her!” I could hear my voice rising, and I breathed deeply, recalling what Jesse had said. Down to the diaphragm. In for five, hold for five, out for five.