Wayward (A Soldier's Heart Book 1)

by Kimber Delaney

  When Simon returned from the bathroom, Audrey had curled up on her side. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was soft and even. He smiled and crawled in behind her, shutting the light off as he drew the blankets over them. She turned toward him then, and her hand snaked up his chest and came to rest over his heart.

  She stirred a little, and her voice sounded in a whisper, “Would you rather I left?”

  Her tone struck a spot in Simon’s psyche. There was something profoundly insecure in the way she’d asked, there, in the dark. As though she couldn’t face the question, and expected an affirmative answer. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, kissing her on the temple. “No. I want you to stay.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Audrey wrestled the binder clip on the large stack of visitor logs and flipped down the handles. She threw it on top of the other stacks and leaned back in her chair, eyes closed.

  Across the room, Antony was tapping away at the computer, looking up all the rental car agencies in the area. Another case had come up, and Randall had assigned Simon and Charlie to work on it. That left the two of them to finish up the initial data gathering. He glanced over at Audrey. They’d barely spoken all day.

  As soon as Antony had seen Simon, he knew they’d hooked up. Simon didn’t realize it, but he carried himself differently after their deployment. Now, his shoulders were back, chin up. Antony was happy for him, but he was also deeply concerned. Simon had changed profoundly after their deployment and felt that he was solely responsible for the accident that took out over half of their team. It wasn’t true, of course, no one could have predicted what happened that day, but Simon didn’t see it that way. Antony didn’t blame him, but Simon had held it under his skin for so long that it was a caustic armor. He’d only just started therapy and was making progress—this new relationship could either be the thing to help him heal fully, or, if what he thought was going to happen came to pass, could destroy Simon.

  Antony respected Audrey. Liked her as a colleague well enough, but he didn’t trust her outside of work. He’d done a little digging, and what he found was impressive. Her success rate was through the roof. She was hungry. Hungry for the adrenaline rush that came from undercover work. Hungry to get back out there. She’d been clear that this was only a temporary assignment.

  That meant Simon was also temporary. He was a grown man, and he’d been there one afternoon when Audrey talked about getting back out into the field. His face had been inscrutable. Antony just hoped the fallout would be minimal.

  Randall walked into the room and dropped a sheet of paper on Antony’s desk. “Give the local PD a call when you’ve got a chance, Ramos,” he said. “They’re working with us to get warrants for these records.”

  Antony took the paper and added it to a stack on his desk.

  The First Sergeant walked over to the coffeepot. “Nap time, Linser?”

  Audrey sat up. “No, Top, just a stretch. This shit’s frustrating.” It was tedious work. All she could do was make notes for every person—there was no telling whether the person who tried to run her over was a civilian or military. Given what she’d spent her career doing, it was possible that a Soldier with some ties to a person or past case had a grudge and saw the opportunity to go after her. Everything was fair game, and everything needed checking.

  Her phone rang. She snatched up the receiver and punched the flashing button next to her name. “Linser.”

  “Your name is Brewer,” said the voice on the other end.

  An icy shiver raced up her spine. “Who’s calling?” she asked.

  “Oh, Daughter,” the voice began, “how many people know your real, given last name?”

  Audrey’s heart raced, and she felt the first rush of adrenaline hit her system. She clamped down on her emotions, the anger and disgust that bubbled up. This was just another person, another stranger. It was true, mostly. She didn’t have many memories of him. She was seven when he was arrested, and eight when he was sentenced. Before then, he was gone on deployments and assignments for months on end. As far as she was concerned, his only contribution to her life was genetic.

  “What is the nature of your call, Inmate?” she asked blandly, knowing that the title of address would incite him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Antony’s head snap up, and he was looking at her. He had a big problem with what was going on between her and Simon. Her friend had told her he was still digging for information. He hadn’t found out about her happy little family, though, but this phone call was probably going to blow that open.

  Randall, who had been walking back to his office, spun on his heel to face her, eyebrows raised. She nodded at him.

  There was still silence on the other end. “Inmate? What is the nature of your call?” she asked again.

  “Daughter, you will never address me like that again. Do you understand me?” the voice was angry, so angry.

  She let him hear her sigh and kept her voice even. “If you do not state the nature of this call immediately, I will hang up and make arrangements to have your phone privileges revoked, Inmate.”

  The response was contrite, soothing. Audrey didn’t buy it for a moment. “I’m sorry, Daughter. I’ve just been hurt that you’re so close and have not reached out. I really need to see you,” he said.

  “No,” she replied. “Is there anything else?”

  His voice went cold. “You will come see me, eventually. It would make your life so much easier if you did.”

  The phone went dead in her ear. Audrey closed her eyes and hung up the phone. She breathed deeply a few times. When she opened her eyes, Antony was looking at his computer screen, but his shoulders were tense and his eyes were unmoving. Randall was silent, staring at her.

  She rose, and without a word, followed him back to his office. On the way by, he stuck his head in and called out to Drummond. “We got a situation, Sir.”

  Seconds later, the Lieutenant joined them and sat down. “What’s going on?”

  “Inmate Brewer just called me. On my line,” she said.

  “Shit.”

  “Agreed.”

  “How the fuck did he get your number?”

  Randall and motioned for her to close the door. He picked up his phone and punched a number.

  Audrey answered, “Probably the same way he got that letter delivered to me, Sir. Someone’s tracking me.”

  Drummond pulled out a notebook and started scribbling. “I’m not completely familiar with your history, Linser, so I’m going to pull his file, and yours.”

  Audrey stood. “I have copies of both right here, Sir. Wait one.” She left as Randall hung up.

  “Sergeant Major is on his way,” he said to Drummond. “This is getting out of hand.”

  Audrey pulled her keys out of her pocket and unlocked the bottom drawer of her desk. Antony looked up at her and opened his mouth.

  “Not a good time, Ramos,” she said. “You’ll hear all about it soon, so don’t get riled up.”

  He closed his mouth and shrugged as she passed by him. As she vanished, Charlie rounded the corner.

  Charlie jerked her head at Antony. “What was that about?”

  “Phone rang, she freaked, Top freaked, they left.” He narrowed his eyes at Charlie. “She’s your bestie. You tell us what’s going on.”

  “Haven’t a clue, Ramos. I wasn’t here for the call.” Charlie pulled a folder out of her desk drawer.

  “Not what I meant—”

  “I know what you meant, now take the hint.”

  “Fuck. Fine.”

  Simon walked in, frowning. “What’s going on?”

  “Your gal’s got some real bullshit drama swirling around her,” Ramos said, standing. He grabbed his bag and stuffed his notebook and a couple files into it. “I need to go see the locals. And get some air.”

  Simon turned to Charlie. “Wanna share?”

  “Something happened with Audrey while we were out, apparently. Ramos tried to dig for info.”


  “And you didn’t give him any.”

  “How’d you guess?”

  “You gonna tell me anything?”

  “Wish I could. Not my story to tell, Carwell.”

  Simon could appreciate that kind of loyalty. He nodded and sat down to go through the motions of filing his report. He could hear murmurs from down the hall, but the door was closed. All there was to do was wait and try to stomp out the sinking feeling in his gut.

  Audrey handed the files to Drummond and sat down. Her shoulders sagged a little, and she pinched the bridge of her nose.

  “I’m going to have to talk to the bastard, aren’t I?” She asked.

  The Battalion Sergeant Major came in at that moment and Audrey stood up. He held out his hand, and when she grasped it, he said, “Yes, but not right now.” He released her and sat down next to the Lieutenant.

  Both men spent the next few minutes in silence, reading the files and making notes. CSM Range requested a copy of the report detailing the near-miss and 1SG handed it over.

  Audrey joined in, scanning the files she’d looked over so many times, hoping that something would jump out. Nothing did. She explained her last assignment and her sudden extraction.

  Randall tossed his pen onto the table in front of him. “There’s nothing linking these two things. Not a damned thing.”

  “Doesn’t look like it,” Range said. “Focus on the hit-and-run. This phone call is too convenient.” He turned to Audrey. “You’re going to have to talk to him. No clue what you’ll get out of him. Probably nothing, but give it a shot.”

  “Sergeant Major, where would I even begin with interrogating him?” she asked.

  Range looked over the rim of his glasses at her. “How long has it been since you’ve spoken to him?”

  “Before today? Pushing twenty-five years.”

  “Linser, don’t interrogate him.”

  Audrey chewed on the inside of her cheek as she considered his words. She was going in blind, but she still had more info than he did. Maybe she could use that.

  “When should I go see him?” she asked.

  “Not today. Not this week. Let him stew for a while.” He flipped open his schedule. “Next Tuesday. No, Wednesday. I’ve got a clear day.” He looked at the First Sergeant and Lieutenant. “What about the two of you? Does that work?”

  “We’ll be there,” Randall said.

  “That’s settled. You’ll go in close to the end of visitor hours. Don’t want him thinking he’s getting any special treatment. Go in, rattle his cage, find out whatever you can, and then we’ll meet right after to discuss.”

  “And if he calls before then?” she asked.

  “If someone inadvertently answers your extension, you’re out of the office. Other than that, your line will go to voice mail. See if he leaves any messages,” said Randall.

  “Got it. I’ll get back to work. Thank you,” she said.

  “Linser?”

  She turned.

  The Sergeant Major gave her a tense smile. “We got you.”

  Audrey nodded and walked out. Antony was gone, but Charlie and Simon were there. She felt the tension, and as she walked across the room, Charlie shot her a glance.

  The trio worked in silence for another half an hour, before Simon pushed away from his desk.

  “I’m gonna go get a run in. I’ll talk to you later,” he told Audrey before heading out.

  “What happened?” Charlie asked once the door closed.

  Audrey took a deep breath. “My father called.”

  “What? Here? How did he—”

  “No clue. That’s what I was in a meeting for when you came back.”

  “Ramos is sniffing around, you know.”

  Audrey let out a short laugh. “He’s been sniffing. It’s fine. I’m going to have to let the skeletons out soon enough, I’m afraid. It’ll help him make his case against me to Simon.”

  Charlie bent a paperclip back and forth, playing with it. “And how are things with Simon?”

  “They’re fine. He’s fine. He’s on board with whatever this is.” Audrey waited. She didn’t have to wait long.

  “I know I was busting on you about this, and I’m sorry. I just—”

  “You know how I am and how I can be,” Audrey said. “And that’s fair. I don’t want to hurt him. I enjoy his company.” She grinned. “Even out of bed.” And that was an understatement, but not one she was willing to share. They’d spent hours just talking about random things, and it surprised her how comfortable she was with him.

  “Okay. I’m done giving you shit, then.” Charlie looked at the folders on the table. “I’m free for the day. What shall we look at now?”

  ***

  Half an hour later, Antony and Simon were running out near the northern training areas. They’d been running intervals and finally slowed down to take a break.

  “Finally sealed the deal with Linser, eh?” Antony asked.

  “Problem with that?”

  “Nah, as long as she doesn’t become a problem for you.”

  “The fuck is that supposed to mean, Ramos?”

  Antony stopped and wiped his face off. “Dude, she’s the first one since we’ve been back. And I’m not sure about her. Some freaky shit is going on, and I got a weird feeling about it.”

  Simon wiped a line of sweat off his forehead. “Other than being run off the road? What else is going on? What the hell was that back at the office?”

  “Who knows what the fuck is going on. She got a call today. From an inmate. Got really pale and then spent the next two hours with Top, LT, and Range.” Antony threw his hands up in the air. “She’s carrying some major shit, Carwell, and you don’t need to be mixed up in it.”

  Simon considered that information and filed it away with the little he knew. He’d ask her that evening and see what her reaction was. There had to be a simple answer.

  “I’ll see what she says,” he replied. “If she’s ready, she’ll talk. But we all have our secrets, Ramos. Even you.”

  Antony smiled ruefully. “I’ll give you that one. At least I’m working on it. How’s therapy going?”

  “Good. I’m feeling good about it all,” Simon said. “Sleeping well, eating well. No night terrors since I’ve started going.”

  Antony raised his eyebrows. “Seriously? That’s awesome.” And strange, but he kept that part to himself. Simon was going to crash and burn, and he was going to do it soon. Most people he knew did, usually three or four weeks after starting sessions. Once he started talking about the trauma and reliving it, it was going to come back to haunt him. “Have you started talking about what happened?” he asked.

  “Not yet, next week,” Simon replied.

  “Look, Carwell, it will not be all happy shit once you start on that. Dr. K. is going to make you go deep.” He paused, remembering his own experience. “The terrors are going to come back for a bit. You’re gonna get a little twitchy.”

  Simon looked skeptical. “I think I’ll be fine.”

  Antony looked at him sympathetically. “Dude, you have not talked about what happened once since we got back. Not once. You think this is going to be easy?”

  Simon started to slowly jog. “I’ll be fine.” He sounded less certain, and looked like he wanted to run away from the chat.

  “I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk about all of this,” said Antony. “When you’re ready to face it all, and when you’re ready to accept that none of it was your fault.”

  Simon spun around and faced him. His face was strangely neutral. “How do you know what I think, Ramos?” he began. “What makes you think I still blame myself for all of this?”

  “The fact you’ve never said a goddamn thing about it,” Antony said.

  “There’s nothing to talk about. It’s done. It’s over. Nothing can change it all now, so there’s no reason to rehash it.”

  “You’re right. No reason at all. Except that you’re in therapy. You were injured. Badly. I heard you scream in
your sleep when we were at Walter Reed. I remember the sessions there.” Antony and Simon were face to face. “I remember you couldn’t look me in the eye for months, couldn’t be around me at all. I lost my fucking leg out there. We lost our friends. And you think you are just peachy?”

  Simon swung. It surprised Antony that Simon had waited so long and so he was prepared for it. Simon only got a glancing blow. He dodged and started walking around in circles, keeping his face to Simon.

  “You haven’t been the same since then, Carwell. You’re a recluse. You see your folks, you go home. You hadn’t gotten laid in over a year, not since before we even deployed. Well, you’ve taken care of that, but you still haven’t taken care of your head.” He dodged another lunge.

  “Fuck you, Ramos!”

  “Yeah, fuck me. Fuck me for hoping that you’d finally pull your head out of your ass. You think I’m not fucking tickled that you’re finally handling this shit? That I’m not glad you’re seeing someone? I am, asshole. What I’m worried about is that you’re not in the right place for this right now. That you think therapy’s some sort of magic wand. That getting laid means you’re all better? What happens when Linser leaves you out there flapping once she’s done with whatever bullshit she’s got going on and works her way back out to the field?”

  Simon yelled and charged toward Antony. He caught him off guard that time, and the two men tumbled to the grated dirt road. Simon’s fist connected with his jaw, and he saw stars. His face was a blur, contorted with anger, and his fist raised up again. Antony jabbed upward, catching Simon in the solar plexus hard enough to knock the wind out of him. When Simon doubled over, Antony twisted on the ground, sending him sprawling off to the side. He jumped up, ready in case Simon swung at him again.

  What he didn’t expect was Simon to double over and sob. Fuck. He’d pushed too hard. It wasn’t right, but he knew it was going to happen sooner than later. Hell, it was going to happen more than once. He’d had his umpteenth breakdown last week, the night after his last session.