Wayward (A Soldier's Heart Book 1)

by Kimber Delaney

  He walked over and poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down to listen to messages. As he did, he took notes and logged into his computer. Out of a dozen emails, there was one telling him that the rental car records were finally ready for pickup at the local police department. Good. After he’d deleted a bunch of garbage and logged off, he grabbed the box that he’d put the huge file and box of recordings into and walked over to set it on Audrey’s desk.

  She looked up at him, her eyes wary and apologetic at the same time. “Hi Simon.”

  He gave her a tight smile. “Here’s the stuff my father gave me. I’ve gone though some of it, but figured you might want a crack. I’m going down to the PD to pick up the rental car records. If you get things into some sort of order, we can get Ramos in and work on it this afternoon.”

  Simon turned and yelled, “Top, heading out!” and walked out the door.

  Well. That went well. Apparently Simon was having none of anything with her. Fine. He could stew, but he couldn’t avoid her forever. She grabbed the box and hauled it over to the 8 foot long plastic table they had set up near the active case board.

  Jesus, this thing was four times as thick as the file she had. She flipped open the cover. On one side was Maxwell’s mugshot. The other, a picture she didn’t know existed. Her mother was holding her close, looking down into her face and smiling with a peaceful joy. Audrey felt a warmth surround her as she hugged her arms around her waist. Her mother had slipped into a coma a short while after that image and died soon after. Tears stung her eyes at the sudden intrusion of a memory she had never had. Such a personal moment, just casually stapled into a cardstock folder. Fuck. Audrey didn’t even have a picture of her and her mom. Who’d even taken the photo? Was it Maxwell, or someone else?

  She reached out and touched the image. She needed to keep this or have a copy made. All she’d ever had were pictures of her mother and her brother. This was precious. She swiped her hand across her face and swiped at the tears flowing down her cheeks.

  Out of the corner of her eye, a large manila envelope and a disc slid onto the table near her left hand. Without looking up, she grabbed them and opened the envelope. Inside were copies of the picture, professionally restored. She looked up and saw Antony’s back disappearing into Randall’s office. Then she burst into tears, clutching the envelope to her chest.

  ***

  Simon came back in an hour later to find Antony and Audrey cataloging the files and stacking notes in neat piles all over the table. Audrey looked like she’d been crying, but she was laughing a little at something Antony must have said. She looked up at him and her smile faded.

  She grabbed the tapes, the recorder, and a set of headphones and sat down behind her desk. “I’ll get to work transcribing this stuff.”

  Simon looked at all the paperwork and said, “The transcriptions should all be in there.”

  “Yeah. I want to listen for myself, thanks.” She popped the headphones on and pushed a button on the tape deck.

  Oooh yeah. This was going really well.

  Antony looked at him and shrugged, pointing to the seat. “We’re just about done. Thought we should start by comparing what’s in the file that Audrey has and the file that your father gave you. Just by going through the papers, we can see that there’s a lot of redacted info. Unless you wanna go through the rental car records?”

  Simon looked at the papers he had in his hand. “You know, I want to dig into these.” He nodded over at Audrey. “She doesn’t think that these things are related, and I kinda agree, but we still need to get everything covered, and there’s not that many of us.” He stood and walked over to his desk. The tension rolled off of her and crept up his own spine, mixing with his anger and exhaustion. He set his jaw. They had to keep a handle on this shit at work.

  After? Game on.

  ***

  Audrey watched as Simon and Antony walked out of the office and then rubbed her eyes as she tried to focus on her monitor. She didn’t know what made her feel worse, Simon flat out ignoring her, or Antony smiling at her sympathetically. Either way, this was some bullshit. She might not be innocent in all of this, but he sure as fuck had no business on his high horse either.

  About an hour after quitting time, Randall came out of his office. “Linser, you’re done. Go home.”

  “I’m almost done. Just another—”

  “Now, Linser. Shut it down, or I will.”

  She looked up at him.

  “Go fight it out. You’ve got a long weekend ahead, and I don’t care how you manage it. In fact, I don’t want to fucking know. Just get it handled, the two of you,” he said, mouth set in a line. “Keep this bullshit out of my lane and I’ll stay out of yours.”

  “Fine,” she said, standing and scraping papers together in rough stacks. “I’ll deal with this shit.”

  She left the office and went straight back to her apartment. She quickly changed into a t-shirt and shorts and walked into her living room. She made a note to buy a frame or two for her new pictures, and as she was about to crack open a beer, there was a knock at her door. She froze. So much for having a beer and a few minutes to get her thoughts together before the confrontation.

  Audrey opened the door to find Simon standing there, stiff and silent. The muscles in his jaw clenched and released. “You wanna do this out here?” he asked.

  “I suppose not,” she said, letting him in. She closed the door after him.

  She started. “You should have told me who your father was.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “I didn’t know. Besides, you never asked much about my family.”

  Audrey stammered, “I—” She really hadn’t. Not after their first date.

  “You never asked a thing. You never wanted to know, Audrey. We’ve been playing this your way this whole time. No strings. No emotions. Just fucking and chatting like everything is cool. That’s how you wanted it, that’s how you got it. But you do not get to change this shit on me because things got weird. You don’t get to be high and mighty at me because of something I didn’t even fucking know myself until the other day. You think I didn’t need some time to process this shit?” he asked. His voice had raised slightly, and his eyes were blazing.

  “You had that folder for five fucking days and I had to find out about it, and your father, on accident! You got to look through all that stuff all on your own, got to see everything. Goddamn, Simon, you got to see the only fucking connection I have to my mother before I even knew it existed.” Her voice hitched, and she felt the sting of tears. Not again.

  “Who the fuck do you think got you those remastered copies and the disc?” he asked quietly. His voice was low. “I didn’t go through the file, Audrey. I didn’t agree with my father about keeping any of this from you, so I sat on it. Yeah, I didn’t tell you anything, but it’s not like I was sitting here cracking jokes at your expense.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I never thought he’d be the prosecution for this new case, so I didn’t tell you then, either. Fact remains, Audrey, that you’ve made it clear that you want nothing other than a good screw here and there.”

  “Simon . . .” she began.

  He turned on her, eyes hard. “Don’t.” He walked toward her, and saw a shimmer of fear . . . or was it desire, flare up in her eyes. “Don’t patronize me, Audrey Linser.” He stopped inches from her, forcing her to either crane her neck to look up or take a step back and concede dominance. Simon waited for her to back down, but she didn’t. Good. He loved that fire in her, even if it burned him.

  “If what you want is no strings fucking, I can do that,” he whispered, and grabbed her firmly by the throat, pushing her back toward the wall. That desire and fear mixed in her gaze and her eyes glazed over as she strained toward his hand. Simon crashed his lips into hers, demanding access with his tongue. There was no gentleness in his kiss, no hesitation, no playing. He took what he wanted and as he explored her mouth, she made little noises in her throat. His grip was firm, but
without pressure, and other than his hand and his lips, he didn’t touch her anywhere else. Her knees were wobbly, and she reached out for him.

  No. Not right now.

  He released her neck and grabbed her wrists, one in each hand, before breaking the kiss. She tipped her head up at him and leaned back in, but he dodged her advances. Instead, he released her and grabbed her shirt, pulling it up and over her head. He did the same thing to her shorts, grabbing her panties along the way. Once she was naked, she reached toward him again.

  Simon shook his head and grabbed her wrists again, spinning her and pressing her back to his chest. He walked her into her bedroom, flipping the bright overhead light on. She squinted back up at him, the fluorescent bright in her eyes. “Need to see everything?” she asked.

  He stopped her in front of the mirror and pulled her wrists behind her back. His hand was easily large enough to lock them together and to hold her in place. “No, Audrey. You need to see everything. Watch.” She was craning her neck up to see him. He leaned down to her ear and bit it a little harder than she normally liked. She squealed. “I said, watch.” She shifted her eyes forward and caught sight of the two of them. Him clothed, solid against her. He felt her pressing against him, felt himself responding to her, and he fought off the urge to bend her over and surround himself with her. He caught a look of uncertainty in her eye, and brought his hand up her body to her neck, where he palmed her jaw and brought her head forward again.

  “Watch.” She watched. Her eyes never left his hand, and he began the slow journey down her body. He skimmed over her flesh, his touch so light that goosebumps raised wherever he went. His palm passed over her nipples and they puckered, straining toward his touch. She gasped. He looked at her eyes, and saw her pupils had dilated, and her lids were heavy. His fingers skipped over her belly, tickling her, and the muscles twitched and contracted as she twisted involuntarily.

  “I know every spot that makes your skin tingle. I’ve touched you everywhere. Tasted you everywhere.” His voice was a low whisper in her ear and she shuddered. His hand moved further down the front of her thigh, and her body bent with his. They moved together as one, joined by his hands and nothing else. As he straightened them both back up, his fingernails dug into the tender flesh on the inside of her thigh and she moaned, arching against him, head thrown back. He stopped.

  “Watch.” When he didn’t continue, she opened her eyes. Simon shifted his foot between hers and moved her legs apart, spreading her for both of them to view. Her desire glistened on the insides of her legs. Simon licked his lips. “You can’t hide this from me, can you?” he asked, softly. Her head shaking back and forth answered him. He moved his hand back up and caught one of her nipples between his fingertips. They were already hard, and he twisted it until she cried out. Her eyes were closed and her hands were fisted in his shirt.

  “Open your eyes.” He pinched her other nipple, hard, with no preamble. Her eyes shot open and locked on to his. Without skipping a beat, Simon ran his hand down her body and dipped between her legs. He dipped in between her slick folds. One finger, then two. Audrey’s knees buckled. “No. Stand up,” he demanded. He stroked her, and each time her eyes threatened to close, he’d stop and tell her, “Watch.”

  He went on for a few long moments, stopping right as her legs started to shake. He removed his fingers from her, and brought them back up her body, to her mouth. “Taste yourself,” he said. “That’s right. Good,” he whispered as she sucked his fingers into her mouth. His control almost crashed as she swirled her tongue around them, remembering the feel of her mouth on his cock, but he fought it and finally pulled them free. Her eyes bore into his and he held contact as he moved his hand south again and worked inside of her. Back and forth he went, starting and stopping, edging her each time, and denying her release.

  He pulled his fingers free from her mouth, and she whispered, “Please. I can’t . . .” Simon looked into her eyes. They were desperate and glassy. He brought her to the edge one more time, wanting to push her, punish her for the wounds she had no idea she’d inflicted on him. But he couldn’t. He may have started angry, but he needed this, to see her come apart and give herself to him the only way she could. He put his fingers into her mouth again and she obediently took them in.

  Leaning close, he said, “You can’t what, Audrey? Take it? You can, and you will if I want you to.” She whimpered around his fingers and he pulled them out of her mouth, tracing her lips with his fingertips.

  This time, when he began his descent down her body, he stopped, teasing her nipples one last time. He smoothed over them and pressed the flat of his hand against her belly, his caress soft. He slid his fingers slowly into her and worked her gently, pressing in to her, and rubbing her clit with the heel of his hand. After a few long minutes, she began to beg. He moved slow enough to tease, but not release, and no amount of her begging was going to get him to speed up. He’d worked her hard, maybe beyond her limits, but he was going to wrest every single bit out of her.

  “You love that edge of pain with your pleasure. You need it. My nails in your flesh, my teeth on your clit when you’re seconds away from orgasm. You know I can drag this out, play you, play with you until you think you’re going to break. Or I could stop, right now.” He saw the flash in her eyes, and they stared at each other as he continued to touch her.

  When the first tears of frustration gathered in the corners of her eyes, Simon pulled up on her wrists in the back, setting her up on the balls of her feet. Her eyes widened, and he rubbed his fingers inside of her, in hard, small circles that matched the heel of his hand. The look of shock in her eyes was matched by the solemn ferocity in his. “Not yet,” he commanded. Her mouth was open, and she was gasping for air. He took her higher, and her legs shook. “How badly do you want this?” he hissed, running his teeth along the tender skin of her neck. When she didn’t answer, he caught her gaze in the mirror and slowed his movements, for just one second.

  “Please! Fuck!” her voice cracked. “I can’t—I need—”

  Simon twisted his wrist and quickly flicked the pad of his thumb over her clit. “Come, Audrey,” he said, biting her neck. “Come for me.”

  She trembled against him.

  “Now.”

  Her breath hitched, a half gasp, half cry, and she stiffened up against him. He bit down on her neck harder and kept his hand in place, working against her, drawing her out. Her hips thrust in time with the contractions fluttering around his fingertips. The entire time, she watched him through unfocused eyes. She was gorgeous, unguarded. She trusted him completely, and it broke his heart.

  She came down, and Simon eased her way. He gently removed his fingers from her and put his hand on her waist to steady her as he released her arms. He moved her arms to the front of her body, wrapping them, along with his, around her. He closed his eyes and held her for a few moments before easily scooping her off the floor and walking her to the bed, where he laid her down.

  “Take off your clothes,” she whispered, patting the bed next to her. It’d be so easy to fall into bed with her.

  “I’m not staying, Audrey,” he said. She looked up at him, confused.

  He steeled himself. “No. You can trust me completely with your body, let me control you fully that way, but you can’t trust me with anything else. It’s better that we dial things back a bit.” Before he could talk himself out of it, he left.

  ***

  Simon let himself back into his room, locked the door and sat down. He was a throbbing mess, from head to toe. It would have been such an easy thing to fall into bed and lose himself in her. Too easy. That was a problem. Somewhere along the way, his focus stopped being only on the sex. He wouldn’t call it love, but his feelings were strong enough to make him step back.

  It was time to go. He headed to the shower, stripping as he went. Once he was under the stream, he cranked it up and stood under the spray, his hands splayed out on the wall in front of him. Images of Audrey on her knees
in front of him assaulted him. So easy to go back over there.

  He couldn’t. He soaped up and rinsed off quickly and walked out into the bedroom, still soaking. The cold air shocked him into action, and he quickly toweled off and dressed. His bag was packed and waiting by the door. Once he stuffed his laptop into it, he left, making sure his door was locked.

  Before he started the car, he shot off two texts. One to Ant, and one to his father. Looking up toward Audrey’s window, he felt a pang of guilt and longing, but stuffed it down. He’d taken care of her exactly how she wanted. Might not have been what he needed, but he’d get over it. The engine of his car roared to life, and he backed out of the space, and drove out of the lot.

  ***

  Audrey heard Simon’s car engine rev and her tears fell harder. She’d lain there after he left and hoped that he’d come back, that they could make up. Part of her was also furious. With him, with herself. She’d asked for this. He’d played her so expertly, so completely. And he was right about all of it. She did trust him with her body. What he couldn’t understand was she didn’t know how to trust him with her heart. And she didn’t know how to tell him.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Every freaking lead was a dead end. Audrey spun the lid off of her water bottle and took a long swig. She’d just gotten off the phone with JAG yet again to get the full sets of records since a couple of the agencies had half-assed their paperwork. After spending so much time talking to them, she should have an office over there at this rate.

  The courts had forbidden Brewer to contact her, so all was silent on that front. He was also in solitary, so had no chance to mess with her. Both the court appointed shrink and whoever Gross brought in concluded that he was fit to stand trial, so the judge canned his parole hearing. His trial was scheduled to begin a lot earlier than they’d expected after they settled a major case out of court. Just knowing things would start faster relieved a lot of tension in Audrey’s life.