Wayward (A Soldier's Heart Book 1)

by Kimber Delaney

  “Just you,” answered Charlie. “And me. And the rest of us. Except those records go straight to HQ after shift, not the main gate. Stupid mistake.”

  Audrey studied the paper, “Wait a minute. There are ‘Out’ times listed on this. They ID people leaving through the back gate?”

  Antony nodded, “Yep. Two reasons. First, it goes through private property, so they need to have a record of who went where and when just in case Old Farmer MacDonald back there has a problem with the ranch. And second, because it’s so remote. We’re so close to the border here, and it’s such a popular hiking and camping area, that people head out that way and have gotten lost.” He picked up the second sheet and started working his way through it.

  He found it moments later. “There. One Chad Gross signed out through the back gate at . . .” he skimmed his finger across the line, “Zero nine thirty.” He looked up to see that Simon had written that on the board. “So, they scanned him in at seven through the main gate, and,” he looked at Audrey, “What time did that shit happen?”

  “I don’t have an exact time, but it was around nine,” Audrey said. “I tried calling Charlie first, then I called Simon.”

  “Okay. Well, he was still around for half an hour or so out there before he left.” Antony spun his pen around on his thumb in rapid circles as he thought. “It’d be fucking impossible for him to just drive around out there without being seen. Even if he had a plain car.” he said. He looked back at Audrey, “He was heading north, right?” She nodded. “And you never saw him come back around.”

  “No. He never passed that way again. I’d have known it,” she answered.

  “We need a map,” Antony said.

  Drummond came out carrying a large rolled up tube of paper. “Ask and ye shall receive,” he said, handing it over.

  “You know, Ell-Tee,” Antony said, “You’re pretty useful for a Butterbar.”

  “You say the nicest things, asshole,” the Lieutenant cracked back. “Now, let’s get this up on the wall, and then you all need to leave.”

  “But we’re so close!” Audrey exclaimed.

  He looked at her and smiled. “And we’ll be close tomorrow morning, too. You all have to get out of there. I do not need Top breathing down my neck about me not being able to handle my people,” he said. “We’ll start fresh first thing. Come in early if you want, but you’re out as soon as this is on the wall.”

  Charlie and Antony had split from the group as soon as they’d locked up. She had to observe one of the junior trainers at the complex, and Antony had asked to tag along.

  She shrugged. “Sure. You want to be certified, too?”

  “You think I can?” he asked.

  “Yeah, let’s go. I have information folders over there,” she said. They waved at Simon and Audrey, and Charlie flashed her a grin and a thumbs-up sign.

  They walked in silence for a few steps, and Audrey spoke, “Simon . . .”

  “Leave it until dinner, Aud,” he said.

  She nodded at him and stayed silent the rest of the way. He was preparing her for the “let’s be friends” talk tonight. There was no other reason for him to want to go out to dinner instead of talking things over now. Well, at least she could prepare herself for this.

  As he unlocked his door, he looked at her, face unreadable. “I’ll see you at 1830.” He slipped inside, closing it behind him.

  Audrey let herself into her room and dropped her bag right inside the door. She stripped down to her underwear and laid back on the bed, overcome by exhaustion. Before she allowed herself to close her eyes, she set her alarm. Last thing she did before dropping off was to turn the volume all the way up. She did not want to be late.

  ***

  Simon sat on the floor in front of his couch. He’d rearranged, moving the coffee table out of the way. During his meditations, he’d discovered that a minor back injury from the IED wouldn’t allow him to sit unsupported for long. Oh, and screw that lotus position shit. He made himself comfortable and tried to get himself into a good mind space for the upcoming dinner. One problem with getting involved with other agents was their ability to lock things away. He was no closer to figuring out what she wanted than he was two weeks prior. What he knew was that she wasn’t doing well, though whether that was because of the case, or this shit between them, he didn’t know.

  He breathed in and let it out slowly. Charlie had sent him an email shortly after lunch. All it had said was, Good to go. He had no fucking clue what she even meant by that. Good to go. Good to start things back up with Audrey? Good to move the hell on and try to get over her? He’d sent back a question mark in reply, but that idiot lawyer had come in and turned everything upside down.

  More deep breathing. Yeah, this meditation thing was sure working right now, wasn’t it? Simon tried some grounding technique that Dr. K. had walked him through. He felt his toes. Then his calves. Now, his knees. What did that mean, anyway? Feeling your toes. He felt butterflies a little. Or he was going to throw up, he hadn’t decided which.

  He was more than a little annoyed with himself. He hadn’t allowed himself to get so wound up over someone since the 11th grade when Jessica Parker had let him get to second base after Prom. He shook his head. This wasn’t Prom, and she certainly wasn’t Jessica, who, last time he’d heard anything, had married two weeks after graduation and had four kids.

  What the fuck was he doing thinking about her? Oh, screw this.

  He rolled over and did a few push-ups instead. Something, anything, to knock out this pent up energy. His nerves were firing out Morse code and he was edgy. Maybe he should have let her talk on the way back.

  Simon sat down at the desk and pulled out a small folder. It was his personal log of the case, and he filled in the day’s events from memory. It was a practice he’d gotten into years before, when some of his notes had helped him solve a particularly heinous case involving a dog fighting ring. Keeping his own record had also become a way for him to hone his skills. Going over previous cases and coming up with his own lessons learned had done a lot to help him as an agent.

  Before he could blink, his phone beeped. He looked at it. Oh shit. He had 15 minutes before he had to go get Audrey. He quickly stripped, showered, and was just finishing buttoning up his shirt when there was a knock at the door.

  Audrey had been outside of Simon’s door for at least three minutes before giving in and knocking. She didn’t know who was supposed to get who, and she couldn’t sit there and wait any longer, so she decided to just be there.

  He opened the door. Jesus, he looked good. Smelled good, too. He was wearing slacks and a red button down, long-sleeved shirt. His feet were still bare and his hair was still wet. Fresh from the shower. She met his eyes, and before she knew what she was doing, she blurted out, “I’m sorry.”

  “Hi . . . what?” he said, confused.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, words tripping out in a rush. “I’m sorry for all of this, and you’re right, I don’t know how to trust people, but I want to trust you, and I’m an idiot.” She had her eyes focused, not on his face, but on the first done button on his shirt. “Is it too late?” she asked.

  He wasn’t saying anything. She’d fucked it all up. It was over, and she couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye. She stepped away. “I’m so sorry,” she began.

  “Audrey,” he said.

  “No, it’s okay. I understand.”

  “Audrey.”

  She looked up to see him smiling at her. He opened his arms to her. “Come here, woman.”

  She rushed forward, flinging her arms around his waist, and pressed her cheek against his chest. Simon chuckled and embraced her. She listened to his heartbeat, steady and loud, and let the tension release from her shoulders. There was still a lot of uncertainty, and there would be some difficult conversation, but for now, knowing that she hadn’t completely screwed things up was okay.

  He leaned back and slid his fingertips along her jawline, and her eyes flutt
ered closed as she leaned into his touch. His lips brushed hers and then retreated. When she opened her eyes, he was smiling down at her.

  “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

  The restaurant was a little Italian place that had been there for over thirty years. The owners, descendants of the founders, welcomed them in warmly and showed them to a spot that Simon had called ahead for. It was out of the way and had a view into a gorgeous little courtyard that separated the restaurant from a charming little cottage at the back of the property. Simon had been introduced to this place by his mother, who, because the world wasn’t small enough, had gone to university with the wife part of the owner duo.

  Their server brought them an apéritif, Campari and soda, and left them alone.

  Simon looked at Audrey. The dark circles under her eyes had deepened over the last few days. He felt a pang of guilt, but shoved it down quickly. He didn’t want to be an asshole about it, and had no plans to keep rubbing her nose in it, but he needed to hear it from her, and she needed to open up for once in her life.

  “This is all my fault,” she said.

  Did he say that out loud? Shit. He looked at her warily.

  “This is all my fault,” she said again. “I, uh. I don’t let people in very well.”

  “So I noticed,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. “I don’t know where any of this is going to go. I know you still plan to leave as soon as you can, and I’m okay with that.” Why did she look miserable when he said that? “Seriously, it’s your life, and I know you feel you belong out in the field. But, until that happens, we can just . . . see how things play out.”

  She nodded and didn’t say a word. She’d been clutching her drink like it was an anchor, but not tasting any of it. At the moment, she was idly spinning the orange peel around with the tip of her finger. He reached out and stroked a finger down one of her hands, getting her attention.

  “Why don’t you start at the beginning and fill me in on everything I don’t know,” he suggested.

  Audrey had a panicked look in her eyes. She blinked once, twice, then took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. Her cheeks puffed out with the motion and Simon smiled.

  “Well, you know now that my mother died right after having me,” she began. “Thank you for that picture, by the way. I never knew one existed.” He nodded. “Maxwell was already in the military when I was born, had been for just a couple years, and he decided not to get out after she died. His deployment schedule didn’t slow down any either. I lived with neighbors or my uncle when he was gone. I barely saw him, even when he wasn’t deployed. Roger is my uncle’s name. He’s older than my mom, nine years, so they weren’t terribly close when they were young. Anyway, Maxwell’s parents were both dead, and so were Roger’s, so he was the only obvious choice.” She paused and finally took a swallow of her drink. Her eyes widened. “That’s really good!”

  Simon chuckled. “It is. So, how was life with Roger?”

  “Life really wasn’t with Roger,” she answered. When Simon raised an eyebrow, she continued, “Roger is wealthy. Self-made wealthy. And he travels a lot. A kid was too much for him to handle at that point, so I spent the first few years being looked after by nannies and au pairs.” Simon grimaced, and Audrey hastily added, “No. It wasn’t all that bad. They treated me really well, and had the best education he could manage. Roger, for all his faults, was a loving uncle. He just showed it in ways that I didn’t appreciate until later. We talk more often now.” She took another sip. “I don’t think he knew what to do with a kid. Now that I’m grown, we can have conversations.”

  The server brought their first dish, roasted tomato tarts, and they tucked in. Simon said, “So, Roger’s a good man, and he took good care of you, but . . .”

  “But I didn’t have a lot of, how to put it, emotional education,” Audrey said. “I was raised to be independent. I’d get close to the nannies, but they’d move on. There were a lot of temporary people in my life. Even with the schools—students come and go. I guess,” she stopped and stared at her plate. “I guess I just stopped letting myself get attached. If I ever really knew how to at all.”

  Simon’s chest constricted. She’d never really developed any relationships, and just didn’t know how. With his track record, he couldn’t say much romantically, but he always had his parents. “But surely, you’ve had romantic relationships before,” he said, and couldn’t keep the shock off his face when she shook her head back and forth.

  “Not really. I mean, I’m not innocent,” she said, chuckling. “You know that.” She looked at him a little bashfully, and the thought of what he knew she could do, and the shyness she was exhibiting aroused him on some strange level. “But nothing has ever been serious. I tried, once. Things were good for a while, but the opportunity came for me to transfer, and I took it. Neither of us wanted the long-distance thing, and so we just continued until I left.”

  “How did that work out?” he asked. “You still hear from him?”

  “No. And, it didn’t work out. At all. Things were okay for the first couple weeks, but he got more and more sullen the closer my date got. Picked fights, just wouldn’t leave it alone. A week before I was due to leave, he took me out to dinner and proposed.”

  Simon grimaced. “Ouch. Not a good move.”

  She took a sip of her drink. “I’ve always wondered if I was the asshole for rejecting him on that one. I guess not.”

  “Oh, hell no. That was a dick move and I think you dodged a bullet.” He thought for a second. “Not that I have a problem with that, mind you.”

  Audrey gave him a pained smile. “I really don’t know what I’m doing, Simon. It’s always just been easier to keep people at arm’s length.”

  Simon pushed, just a little. “So, what’s changed?”

  She exhaled, slowly. “I knew you were going to ask that.” She looked him in the eye, “You. I don’t know what it is about you. You make me want to try to, I don’t know, be a human?”

  Simon leaned over and lifted her face to his. He kissed her again, slowly. “What’s your middle name?” he asked suddenly.

  “Uh. Celeste,” she said, adding, “After my mother.”

  “Audrey Celeste Linser,” he said, kissing her again. “I think you’re doing just fine.”

  The pair kept up a constant stream of conversation, punctuated by kisses, throughout the rest of the dinner, and on the drive back to post. As they walked up to their respective rooms, Audrey felt more than a little awkward. She wasn’t sure if it was too soon for them to take up spending the night, or if he was just going to drop her off and call it there. She didn’t have to ask.

  Simon stopped at his door and turned to her. “I don’t know if this is a good idea or not, but fuck it. I want to be with you. Now.”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Audrey hoped that Simon couldn’t see her hands shaking as she tried to open her door. When the key fell from her hands and clattered to the concrete landing, bouncing and coming to rest between his shoes, she cringed.

  With a smile, Simon bent down and grabbed the key. He leaned into her and put one hand on her waist. “It’s still just me, Aud,” he said, softly.

  She heard a click and felt the draft from the air coming from her apartment.

  “I’m nervous,” she said. “Why the hell am I nervous? This is stupid.”

  “Shhh.” Simon touched the tip of his finger to her bottom lip. “It’s been a hell of a week.” He rubbed his finger back and forth, watching as her eyelids fluttered. He backed her through the door and closed it behind him. The only light in the living area came from the street lamps shining through the side windows. Slowly, he moved his finger into her mouth, smiling as she opened her lips and touched the tip of her tongue to him. She closed her mouth around him and nibbled lightly.

  “That’s good, Aud,” he murmured, his voice low. “I’ve missed that mouth.” He added another finger and moaned as she sucked hard. Wi
th his other hand, he worked the buttons on her blouse free. As she reached up to help him, he stopped, removing his finger.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, worry and confusion crossing her face.

  “I’m deciding.”

  A shiver raced up her spine. “On?”

  He answered her with a slow swipe of his tongue across her lips. When she opened to him, he leaned in and explored her mouth. A minute later he broke the kiss and dragged his lips to her ear. “Deciding on how I want to take you.”

  “Oh,” she whispered. “Have you come up with anything?” She felt him smile against her cheek.

  He undid the last button on her blouse and snapped his fingers on the front closure of her bra. It released with a soft pop, and as he swept the fabric away from her skin, the cool air caused her nipples to pucker.

  “What do you want, Audrey?” His voice was a low rumble in her ear. His fingers were tracing up and down the front of her neck, lower with each pass, until they grazed between her breasts.

  She was mesmerized and swaying with the motion of his hands, lost in the way his touch tickled and sensitized her nerves.

  “Answer me, Aud,” he said. His fingers traced over a nipple, and he pinched it lightly.

  Audrey gasped and gripped Simon’s shoulders. “More of that.”

  “More of what?” His smile shone in the shadows. “Use your words.”

  Oh, that’s what he wanted. She wound her hands up to the back of his head. “I want your mouth on me, Simon.”

  “Where?”

  “Yes.”

  “Tell me.”

  “Suck on my nipples. Hard.”

  She jumped slightly when he bit her earlobe and then sighed as he traced the tip of his tongue down her neck. He’d been moving her backwards, and she wasn’t aware of it until her ass hit the counter in the kitchen area. She was about to suggest the bedroom when his mouth closed over her nipple. Instead, she gripped him harder as he drew her into his mouth.

  “Oh, that’s good. More like that.”

  His hands skated down her sides and gripped her waist for a moment. He moved to her other nipple, biting first before soothing with his tongue. Audrey couldn’t stop the whimper that came out of her.