Blood Ties a Broken Heart

by Cassandra Hawke

  “I don’t hate kids, Ash. I never did, but at seventeen, of course, I damn well didn’t want the responsibility of someone else’s kids again. Now I’m all grown up. Things are different.”

  “That may be, Rylee, but your hostility toward Arden and the insistence I dob her in about the doping puts me in a very awkward spot. Arden believes she can achieve selection in a couple of years and I can’t scuttle that chance for her. Besides it would destroy my relationship with her, and Arden is the only mother Lilli has ever known. I can’t take that away from her. I can’t.”

  “Take her away from Arden and risk her with a stepmother. Me, perhaps? But then, I’m not someone who can be trusted with children, is that it? You couldn’t trust me with Lilli?” Rylee asked, her tone sharp and censuring.

  “Of course I would trust you. It’s just I have an issue with stepmothers—mine in fact. Ruth always hated Arden, even though she loved me,” Ash said.

  “Really—someone who will teach your daughter right from wrong? Not like Arden, who cheats and brutalizes her horses to win. Is that what you want your daughter to grow up believing? Once upon a time, you would have been horrified.”

  They both fell silent as the waiter placed their food in front of them.

  Immediately after the waiter had gone Ash leaned forward. “Oh for God’s sake, lay off Arden and no, I don’t want my daughter growing up believing anything goes as long as you win,” he snapped.

  She folded her arms under her breasts and glared at him. “Well, that’s what is going to happen and the blame will ultimately lie with you.”

  “God damn it, you make such judgments on rumors. That’s so bloody harsh.”

  The diners sitting at the table next to them frowned in their direction.

  “Not just rumors. I saw the stuff she did to the horses before Aileen kicked her out. I caught her using spurs to hurt and a crop with a sharp end and rapping, amongst other things,” Rylee announced in an undertone.

  “Maybe so, but it’s in the past,” Ash protested in a low undertone. “She promised me she would never do anything like it again.”

  “Open your eyes, please,” Rylee begged, as she pushed her untouched food away. “This is a mistake. I shouldn’t have come tonight.” She stood.

  He watched her.

  “I love you, Ash, but I cannot stand by and condone your sister’s actions or your stubborn refusal to acknowledge what is really happening.” She turned and walked away.

  “Rylee.”

  She ignored him and hurried across the car park. As she went to open her car door, he gripped her shoulders tightly, turning her around to face him.

  “I love you. Can’t you just accept that’s how it is?”

  She shook her head. “No, I can’t.”

  “For God’s sake, Rylee. This is tearing me in two. I love you, I love Arden, and I love my daughter. For my sanity, can we reconcile the three, please?” He looked down at the ground then back up at her.

  She stared unwaveringly into his eyes. She heard the sincerity in his voice and saw the desperation in his expression. Cynical amusement bubbled up in her chest. She tried to choke it back, but it forced its way out. She laughed so fervently her body trembled and tears pooled in her eyes. He stood still in front of her, staring at her.

  It took a long while, but she finally forced herself to calm down and glanced at him. “Your sanity. Seems to be that matters to you? What you want. What you need. Other people have needs too, but they have to make do with what they can get—like this.” She stretched up and covered his mouth with hers.

  She caressed, sucked and nibbled at his willing flesh. He responded by grabbing her shoulders and slamming her against his chest. He slipped his hands under her shirt and pushed aside her lacy bra.

  “I need you. I love you,” he moaned against her skin.

  With his swollen cock pressed against her abdomen, she wanted him so badly. She was tempted to open his fly and let him take her right there in the well-lit car park, but reason stayed her hand.

  Without warning he scooped her up and strode away from her car.

  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “Home,” he said.

  He wasn’t even breathing heavily as they crossed the road, and into the lift. When the doors closed, he captured her mouth again before moving on to her cheeks, her neck and down her cleavage. He probably would have gone farther, but the lift clanged open. He strode along the verandah and, with fumbling fingers, he unlocked the door before shouldering his way into his apartment and heading into the bedroom. He put her down, but didn’t let go of her.

  He cradled her head with one hand and with the other undid her skirt and pushed it down. He kissed her deeply. She could taste him—wine and peppermint. He released her mouth for just a moment to lift her top and bra over her head. Clad in lacy panties, she undid his belt and pushed his pants down, exposing his upright cock. She sank to her knees in front of him and lightly licked the length of his hardened shaft. The tangy taste of male stimulated and heightened her senses as she circled her tongue around the head of his penis. Then she took his cock into her mouth all the way to the base of the shaft. She cupped his balls, reveling in the soft wrinkly flexibility of the skin covering them. They were firm to her touch and she rolled them between finger and thumb before she lowered her head and sucked each one through the pouch of skin. He moaned.

  His fingers trailed through her hair before he cradled her head at his groin. She sucked and licked in a smooth up and down movement over the hot, satin smooth flesh of his cock. She tasted the salty tang of pre-cum. He pulled away from her and dropped to his knees beside her and gently eased her onto her back before he lay on his stomach between her legs. He pushed her legs farther apart and lowered his head between them. He ran his tongue over her flesh, dipping the tip in between the folds of her lips and the wet entrance to her pussy. The fiery tingle of arousal when he tucked his tongue up under the hooded flap and flicked it over her clit almost blew her mind. She moaned and whimpered under his thoroughly intimate ministrations.

  Something firm and mobile slipped inside her—she guessed two or three fingers. He moved them in and out and turned them clockwise first then anticlockwise, making her muscles clench and spasm in response. She was barely conscious of the change from his fingers to his cock as he delved all the way in and lay there unmoving. Impatient, she gave a little lift with her hips to encourage his rhythm, clamped her legs around his waist and met his thrusts with tilts of her hips. A trail of tingling pinpricks scattered all around her vulva, right down to her butt. She clenched her legs and cheeks together and pulled the sensation deep inside, where it burst into an explosion of needle sharp points of pleasure. She bucked under its dominating rush, and Ash moved faster and deeper until all she could feel was the hard length of his cock plunging again and again into her tingling pussy. He groaned as he exploded inside her, and she gave into her own release, which rushed over her right to her head. Every hair she had stood on end and trembled under the onslaught until they collapsed on the floor together in a tangled sweaty heap—the only sound in the room, the rasp of their uneven breathing as they both fought for control.

  “My love. You are so beautiful. So desirable,” Ash murmured.

  She cradled his face between her hands and pulled him down to her. She kissed him. A brief ardent kiss before she rolled away from him. He reached out to stop her. “Stay, Rylee. Stay the night with me,” he begged.

  “No.”

  Rylee was already partly dressed by the time he gave any indication he comprehended that she was going home to her own bed, he grasped her arm.

  “Why are you going? There’s no need,” he protested.

  “I have horses to feed and exercise in the morning. This is how it will be. We have separate lives to lead. I will not publicly acknowledge you while you support your sister’s cruelties. And you have no intention of sharing your precious family life with me—not suitable step-mother material, I th
ink you said. So a quick satisfying fuck now and again was your preferred arrangement, I believe.”

  He suddenly seemed older, tired and just a little bit unsettled. She wondered if he was re-assessing his decisions of the past and present and probing deeper into his psyche for the real truth he so far had refused to face. She wanted to hurt him at that moment, rub his excuses right into his soul.

  “I said no such thing, and you know it. I said I was not expecting you to—”

  “Goodnight.” She ruthlessly cut off his excuses.

  Despite her tough exterior and flippant dismissal of Ash as she departed, Rylee was swamped by despair, her stomach clenching and burning as she walked quickly back to her car. If this was how it was going to be between them, she had better toughen up or this charade of not caring would rend her in two.

  Once she had crossed the road and unlocked the car, she glanced up at his apartment. He stood at the window watching her—a sad figure all alone, outlined by the mellow light behind him.

  As she drove through the night, she wished fervently the feelings she had for Ash would go away. It is all wrong. Why can’t my heart understand what I know in my head?

  * * * *

  Regan frowned as Rylee let herself in.

  “I gather that didn’t work out so well?” he commented.

  Rylee pushed the door shut behind her and dropped her keys in the tray. “We argued about Arden and, of course, I couldn’t help but tell him a few home truths about his precious sister. He didn’t take it too well.”

  Regan held up the teapot and a cup, silently asking her if she wanted a cuppa. “Silly bugga. So will you see him again? Is he worth the heartache, Ry?”

  She nodded yes to the tea and slumped into a chair. “I love him, but there seems to be too much between us. I don’t know if it can be resolved and if the resulting hurt will be worth it in the end. And now there is the child, a daughter. I don’t want the responsibility. I can’t take on the responsibility. What if I fail again? Fail with his child?”

  “God damn it, stop punishing yourself for what happened when you were twelve. You were just a kid.”

  “I know, but Rohan is still dead because of me and even if Ash does not know already, I will have to tell him.”

  “To be honest, Rylee, you don’t. Today is not to be compared to then. Besides, if he turns away from you because of it then he’s a bastard… Well, more than he already is.”

  Rylee sighed. “I am so confused.”

  “Sleep on it, sis. Maybe you’ll see clearer in the morning if he is worth fighting for.”

  * * * *

  Sleep on it. Well that was a nice thought. Rylee rolled over to the other side for the hundredth time since she’d climbed into bed. She tried to talk herself through the issue. All she had to do was close her eyes to what Arden was doing, pretend it had nothing to do with her—if it wasn’t for the stables, of course. Could she turn her back on her godmother’s dreams if it meant she could have Ash? A tiny voice inside whispered yes, perhaps. She analyzed it some more, but as soon as she came up against the horse abuse, she baulked. To stand beside Ash at an event and applaud Arden, knowing what she had done to achieve her goal… Rylee felt sick. There was no ‘perhaps’ in her mind. What she really couldn’t understand was how Ash could be so blasé about it and let his daughter be exposed to such a dreadful example.

  Sleep finally came drifting in just before dawn.

  Chapter Five

  Two of the horses Rylee had seen competing at the three-day event in the CCI2* were being offered for sale, due to the owner’s university and work commitments, and they also had an endurance horse that appeared promising. Rylee was keen to add to her stables and believed the endurance horse, a half-brother to Arden’s Cockatoo Ridge Jackaroo, would be excellent for one of her clients to go on with as she moved from junior endurance competitions to an open level.

  When they arrived at the stables, Rylee could see a small huddle of people by the arena.

  “I thought this was a private viewing?” she said.

  “It was supposed to be. I’ll go find out what Reg’s up to.”

  Rylee followed her brother to the stables where Reg was saddling Boomerang Joe. He smiled as they walked up.

  “Sorry, guys. The St. Clairs just turned up. Arden thinks she has first dibs on this fella because she already owns Cockatoo. I was a bit pushed to send them packing.”

  Regan shrugged and looked toward Rylee. “You want to give it a miss?”

  She did, but she wasn’t going to. Arden would not stop her pursuing her goals.

  “No, but I want first ride. Poor horse won’t be fit for anything after Arden’s finished with him.”

  Reg nodded. “Fine by me. Why don’t I just give you a leg up right here?”

  Rylee nodded, pulled her helmet on, then using Reg’s cupped hands for a leg up, swung up onto the big gray. She immediately liked the look of the solid shoulders and neck.

  With a gentle squeeze, she asked him to walk forward. He was responsive to her aids and seemed light on the bit.

  As she entered the arena, Arden jumped toward the gate. “Reg King, how dare you insult me like this. I came to see your damn horse—to ride it.”

  Reg shut the gate behind Boomerang. “Rylee had an appointment. She gets first refusal.”

  “Damn you,” Arden shouted.

  Rylee brought the big gelding around the arena in a collected trot then moved to a canter as she passed Ash and Arden by the gate. Arden’s face was scrunched up in a livid mask, her eyes flashing sparks of fury. Ash met her gaze with a smile and a nod of what seemed like approval. Although Boomerang was not specifically a dressage horse, he’d had some training and moved through each of the requirements of the test smoothly when Rylee asked. With him warmed up, she turned him toward the jumps, and with a steady, considerate approach, he cleared each one. Rylee liked him. He was big, steady, educated and the vet had cleared him yesterday. She decided she would buy.

  She brought the gray to a slow walk and halted at the gate. “I’ll have him, Reg.”

  Arden screeched.

  Ash grabbed her arm. “Enough, Arden. You don’t really need him. I’ll get you something superior.”

  Arden flung away from her brother and stalked toward their car.

  Ash walked up to the fence. He stroked Boomerang’s nose. “You look good on him. He’s a nice animal and he should serve you well in the stables. Perhaps you should think about riding in endurance.”

  Rylee remained mounted. It felt safer that way. Every inch of her was melting with desire and her hands trembled on the reins. All she could think about was the feel of his cock thrusting into her body and the buzz of arousal that carried her to heaven and back. From where he stood, she could smell his distinct fragrance, and see his chest rising and falling as he breathed. His riding pants clung to his legs, crotch and backside, leaving nothing to the imagination. His hand rested on the bridle right in front of her face, so close she could see the tiny hairs on his bare arms glinting in the sunshine. She struggled to draw breath.

  “We can work it out, Rylee. Please don’t give up on me,” he muttered.

  “Ashford, are you coming?” Arden’s strident voice snapped the spell between them.

  “You better go.”

  “Rylee?”

  She shook her head. “Just go to your sister. You’ve made your choice.”

  His shoulders slumped as he turned and walked toward the car. She watched him leave and inside she sobbed for what she had lost. As his car disappeared around the corner, she followed Reg back to the stables. Both she and Regan put the other horses through their paces, but Rylee was undecided. Both needed work in dressage and the smaller of the two seemed to have some hesitation when jumping. Not quite sure, she arranged to return the following week if the horses were still available.

  * * * *

  When they arrived, the sun had just peeped over the thick wall of pine trees that made up the edge of the fore
st. She parked the big four-horse float in a flat shady spot and quickly unloaded Zea, Monti and Boomerang.

  Rylee loved the atmosphere at endurance competitions—the sound and smell of the horses, the fresh air and the coiled excitement and energy. Aileen had been encouraging two of her clients, Sophie and Tayla, for almost a year to give endurance riding a go and finally, six months ago, they had agreed. Rylee had picked up their training where Aileen had left off. She and the girls had worked diligently to be ready with both themselves and the horses at peak fitness.

  During the last couple of weeks, Rylee had ridden Boomerang Joe, had really enjoyed their outings and had bonded well with the horse. She had toyed with the idea of joining her two clients competing as novices in this limited distance endurance ride through Kypo forest. Regan had encouraged her, so she’d put an entry in.

  When the girls arrived in the cool darkness of dawn, she had unloaded her own gear and her horse. She felt alive and excited with anticipation. It had been so long since she had ridden competitively. While Rylee hadn’t had long with Boomerang, Reg had assured her he was well conditioned. She had entered him in the intermediate and planned to take it steady.

  She hoped they had done enough for the two young women to make a respectable showing. A decent result would certainly help Rylee’s business and boost their confidence. All three horses had been vet checked, approved and the three women stood, quietly talking strategy for dealing with the course, the water crossing and the uphill stretches. Rylee emphasized to both girls waiting for the call to start, the need to preserve the horses well-being.

  A bark of chilling laughter shattered the quiet moment between readiness and starting. Rylee didn’t need to turn around to identify the owner. A burning rage burst into flames and swept through her like wildfire. Damn Arden. She turned around to find her towering over her, astride a tall, muscular horse. It snorted and threw its head around, a wild light in the deep depths of its brown eyes. Rylee stepped back. She read the tightness in the horse’s stance and the resentment in its expression.