The stable door creaked then clicked shut. She guessed it was Regan.
“I’m up here in the loft. Be down in a moment.” She hurriedly wiped the moisture off her cheeks and hauled the rug down off the rack. She turned toward the ladder and came face to face with the object of her misery.
She hugged the cotton rug close to her chest and glared at him over it. “You shouldn’t be here. You should have called.”
He grimaced. “I know, but I didn’t want you forbidding me to come.”
“Why have you come? To check on your sister’s handiwork?” Rylee challenged him.
“Arden’s handiwork?”
“She was here earlier. She whipped me—and my horse.”
“Arden’s in Melbourne this week,” Ash responded.
Rylee shook her head. “No, she’s not.”
When he ignored her protest, a deep seated uneasiness slithered over her. It had begun when Arden had first appeared in the arena and now growled menacingly in the back of Rylee’s mind. Just what lengths would this woman go to keep them apart?
Rylee saw the disbelief in Ash’s expression, but she was determined to make him see the truth.
“She was here.” She swiveled on the bale and pulled her shirt off her shoulder. The red welt from the whip and the tiny beads of blood showed clearly, even in the dim light of the loft. “See this? This is her handiwork.”
He stepped up close behind her to examine her injury, and her body buzzed with awareness, soaking up the warmth that radiated from him.
His fingertips were cool and gentle as he stroked her shoulder. “I don’t understand. I don’t believe you would lie to me, but I put Arden on the plane for Melbourne last night. She is not due back until the end of the week.
“She was here not more than an hour ago.”
He gripped her shoulders. His desperate sexual need seeped from his body into hers. She could sense his confusion and uncertainty. Most of all she could sense his need for her.
“Say what you mean. Arden is still between us, and you’re never going to let it die, are you? You will do anything to blacken her in my eyes.”
“Damn you. I don’t have to do anything except make you see. Open your eyes and see, for God’s sake.”
“It’s not that simple, and you know it,” he growled from behind her.
The heat from his body radiated across her back. As he pressed against her, she felt his erection and the touch of his hands as he stroked her shoulders and up the nape of her neck—warm and enticing. But the issue of Arden created a barrier between them. She felt it, even if he didn’t, and she knew his desire to fuck her was not going to demolish it today.
She shrugged. “I know. It was simpler ten years ago and we couldn’t fix it, then why do you think we can fix it now?” she asked. Her voice sounded dead even to her, a sign she was resigned to defeat, and a faint echo of how she felt inside.
“I’m not prepared to let what we have between us die. Please help me.”
“There’s nothing I can do. Only you can fix the mistakes of the past and revive it,” she warned.
“You don’t intend to make this easy for me, do you,” he accused.
“Why should I?” she asked.
“Fair enough, considering this mess is mostly my own making. It pleased Arden greatly when you disappeared. She introduced me to her friends. Julie was one of them. She got pregnant, so we married. It seemed the right thing to do. Julie got caught up in Arden’s world and the baby got left with the nanny or me. It wasn’t until after Julie died that Arden became attached to Lillian. They are like mother and daughter. I can’t destroy that. I can’t.”
“Even if it means you stay branded a horse doper. Even if it means there is no future for us? Why have you come to ‘talk’? We both know there is nothing to talk about. You’ve made your decision. Arden will always come first.”
“But I’m in love with you. I want you in my life. I don’t care how.”
“Well I do care. I might sound like an old romantic, but I want it all—the love, the romance, wedding and children. You know how, but you won’t do that.” She sighed. “Until you do, we can’t be together in a relationship. I’m also not interested in some furtive affair that is both demeaning and repugnant, waiting for someone to denounce me as a horse doper. I can’t close my eyes to what Arden does. I might as well condone it.” Rylee took a deep breath at the end of her tirade. She wanted to cry, but she was too burnt out to give in to tears.
“Forget Arden. Forget the equestrian world. Forget my daughter. Just for a short moment, let it be just us.” He stood and pulled her up with him. He moved forward until they were touching.
She squirmed out of his hold and stepped back. “This is not helping, Ash. It changes nothing.”
“But it stops you thinking about all the ifs and buts,” he said.
She laughed. “Just for a split second—a brief moment in time. That is no good to anyone, least of all me.”
“Rylee?”
She stayed silent. She could hear him shuffling his feet in the loose hay on the floor.
He pulled her back to him and kissed her lingeringly. She gave into the pressure he applied and welcomed him to taste her as his lips crushed hers. He cradled her face and held her motionless so he could plunder her mouth. He slid his hand up through her hair and entangled them in her curls. “You’re so beautiful, my sweet Rylee.”
It would be so easy to give in, to sink so deeply into his desire that nothing else mattered, but she need to put a stop to this. If they had sex, nothing would be resolved. They couldn’t move forward and the cycle would be never ending. She almost cried out in anguish knowing she had to send him away. “You need to go, Ash.” She pushed him from her.
He clung to her. “I don’t want to go. I want to love you. Don’t send me away, just because of Arden.”
“This is not about Arden. It’s about you. You stand there and practically call me a liar and in the same breath, you profess to love me, plead to fuck me.”
“You have doubts about my love?”
She nodded. “I’m sorry every time you take your sister’s side and refuse to accept her innate badness—even tonight with the evidence right here.” Rylee flashed her injured shoulder at him. “You don’t believe that Arden was here. I can’t live with that, Ash. The man I choose to share my life with has to give me not only his love, but also his loyalty, his trust and his integrity. Without it there is no value in the love given. You wouldn’t give me that ten years ago and you won’t give it to me now.”
“It was one mistake,” he groaned. “I have always been there for her, protecting her from our stepmother, protecting her from herself. She’s not strong like you.”
“Oh bullshit. She’s taking you for a ride and you’re letting her by believing her lies.”
“But I put Arden on the plane myself. I don’t understand how she could possibly be here and yet…” His words faded and his frown deepened.
“Well, who do you think whipped me? Do you think I did it to myself?” Rylee yelled.
“I am not saying I don’t believe you, but… Oh shit, this is such a mess…” he cried.
“Just go, before you dig yourself into an even deeper hole,” Rylee urged.
“Can I see you again?” he asked.
“I don’t think that would be wise, considering. Go home to Arden and Lillian. Forget me. It’s never going to work,” she replied.
He shook his head, but backed off. “I can’t accept this, Rylee. I will find a way to make it work.” His face was gray and haggard. Confusion and pain shadowed his eyes as he paused for a moment and stared at her over the edge of the loft. “Rylee, just let me love you, kiss you. Then it won’t matter. Please?” When she failed to back down from her demand, he disappeared from sight without another word.
Rylee stayed in the loft for quite a while after Ash had left. Finally, no closer to reconciling her hurt or her burning desire, she climbed down and went to work on Sh
annon, stroking his bay coat into satin shininess—brush stroke after brush stroke until sweat broke out on her skin and her arms ached with the repetitive action. Tears welled up and trickled down her cheeks as she threw her arm over the gelding’s neck and she buried her face in his muscular shoulder. “What do I do, big boy? What do I do?” she muttered. “I can’t seem to stop loving him.”
Shannon nudged her with his nose and blew air against her leg. She stood for a long time in the darkness of the stable clinging to the solid warmth of the horse.
When she finally wandered up to the house, she found Regan lounging by the fire with two large pizzas on the table in front of him.
“Ah, about time you got in. The pizza’s going cold, so tuck in.”
Rylee turned and dropped her shirt off her shoulder. “Arden paid me a visit tonight with a stock whip in hand.”
Regan leaped from the chair. “She what?”
Rylee nodded. “I was lucky Dalton’s such a laid-back nag or it might have been worse.”
“Damn that woman. Now what?”
“Nothing. Ash came. He didn’t believe me. He damn well didn’t believe it was Arden, because he put her on the plane to Melbourne. It’s so humiliating. Despite the blatant evidence right under his nose, he practically called me a liar.”
“You have to get over him, Rylee. Don’t tell me you allowed him to…”
“No. I sent him away.” Heat roared into her face. It was humiliating to have her baby brother asking if she’d had sex or not.
“Well, at least that’s a start,” Regan stated, flopping back in his seat and grabbing up a slice of pizza.
Chapter Six
The school classes continued and each time Rylee saw Annie ride, she was convinced the child had ridden before. On the second to last session, Rylee had set up some gymkhana games for the six girls to try. It was meant to be fun but before long, several of the girls had turned it into a competition. Everything went well until Annie lost the second race. At the end of the session, Annie was sulky and grumpy and being rough with the pony while she unsaddled and groomed her.
“Annie, do you have a problem with Moonbeam?” Rylee asked, struggling to keep her temper.
“Yes, she’s too slow. She should have moved faster during the barrel races. I urged her to.” Annie pouted up at Rylee.
“Well, Annie, Moonbeam is a good horse, and she did her best. You shouldn’t take your disappointment out on her just because you didn’t win.”
Annie snorted and threw the hoof pick back in the grooming box. “Maybe I should have a faster horse—a better horse.”
Something about the words jabbed on a nerve deep inside. Rylee flinched, but bit down on the angry retort that almost spilled out. She didn’t want to lose the whole school because she snapped at one child.
“Maybe you should learn to ride better first, Annie. I saw today you weren’t always giving Moonbeam the correct aids because you were so focused on winning. You actually confused her. You have to take part of the responsibility for losing.”
Annie contemplated Rylee for a moment. “I need a better horse. That’s all. Can I have a better one next session? I’m sure I would do better if I just had a better quality horse.”
Rylee looked down at the child with a stern expression. “No, Annie. You will finish this term off with Moonbeam. You need to improve your riding before I upgrade you to the next level. I need to be sure you can handle a more difficult horse or you might just have an accident.”
“Whatever,” Annie muttered then shrugged and walked off.
* * * *
A week later when the class returned, Annie remained surly and very insistent that she needed a better horse.
“Annie, you either ride Moonbeam or you can sit here with your teacher for the whole session,” she said calmly.
“Fine,” Annie snapped then stomped off to the stable to prepare her horse.
From the moment the class entered the arena, Rylee could see from the jig-jogging and the ears flattened back against her head that Moonbeam was not herself. Annie appeared to be doing the correct things, but just every now and again, Rylee saw her tug roughly on the bit and tap her heels sharper than she needed to.
With slow precision, the whole class moved through the formal exercises, but Moonbeam became more jumpy and Rylee could see Annie seemed to be having trouble controlling her. And the small pony was lathering up, which she never did. When they moved to the competitive exercises, Moonbeam rushed around the barrels and galloped over the finish line ahead of all the others but totally out of control, pulling on the bit and shaking her head. In the wake of Annie’s mad dash to the winner’s line, three barrels lay on their sides in the sand. Annie struggled to hold Moonbeam in a walk when they returned to the starting line for a second go. Rylee became more uneasy. Moonbeam never played up and she never went so fast as to knock the barrels down. Fearing an accident, she called a halt to the class and walked up to Annie. She soothed the agitated pony.
“Dismount, Annie,” she instructed.
“Why?” the child asked, in an insolent tone.
“Because Moonbeam is upset. She never gets upset, so I need to know what is worrying her now.”
“Stupid horse,” Annie muttered, as she swung down from the saddle.
She stood back as Rylee moved in to examine the horse. Shock held her still and silent for a moment as she gaped at the bloodied hand she had stroked the horse’s side with. She held out her hand to Annie. “What’s this?” Rylee snapped in an icy cold tone.
“Blood,” Annie replied nonchalantly.
Rylee glared down at the child. Annie glared back.
“I know it’s blood,” Rylee said. “How did Moonbeam come to be bleeding?”
“Well, if she didn’t go so slow, I wouldn’t have had to use them so much. She should have gone faster,” Annie shouted.
“What have you used, Annie?”
Annie looked her right in the eyes. Rylee saw no shame or embarrassment in the little girl’s eyes, just triumph.
“I used these,” she announced and lifted one foot to show Rylee her boots. “It made her go faster and we won.”
“You won, did you?” Rylee asked. “With three barrels down, I figure you lose. Barrels is a game of skill first, then speed. You got to cross the finish line by torturing a sweet-natured little pony. How dare you say you won,” Rylee shouted.
She grabbed Annie’s arm with no warning and, taking the horse’s bridle in the other hand, she dragged her from the arena.
“Take over, Regan,” she instructed her brother, who was standing silently by the rails.
The teacher stood as they approached, a deep frown furrowing her forehead. “What is this, Miss O’Shaughnessy? You have no right to manhandle the children like this.”
“Really, Ms. Winters? Annie should think herself lucky she only has my fingers on her arm. Look at the horse. Examine her sides. She’s bleeding. She’s in pain. This child has illegally brought spurs to the session and used them on my horse. I do not tolerate animal cruelty.”
“Oh dear. Annie. What have you done?” Ms. Winters flushed a deep red.
“I wanted to go faster,” Annie whined.
“Get this child’s parent here immediately,” Rylee ordered.
“Don’t call my dad. Call my aunty, please,” Annie begged.
“This is not a job for an aunty, Annie.” Ms. Winters dialed the number she had on the list.
Annie grabbed her teacher’s arm. “Please don’t call my dad,” she pleaded.
“What is going on?” Ms. Winters put the phone to her ear.
The child burst into tears. “I’m not supposed to come riding. Dad will be furious,” she cried.
“Mr. St. Clair—Ms. Winters. You are needed at Greenwood Stables immediately. It is a matter of upmost urgency regarding your daughter, Annie. Sorry…Lillian.”
An icy chill ran down Rylee’s spine. For God’s sake, Annie was Ash’s daughter. The spurs had to be Ar
den’s. A wave of nausea rushed over her. Her stomach clenched and her chest cramped at the thought of the wrath that was to come. The expected confrontation with Ash would bring all the lies out into the open and he would be forced to acknowledge his sister’s practices. Would that inevitability drive a wedge between them that they would never recover from? Probably, but it didn’t really matter, for their love was doomed anyway.
The other girls had finished their lesson and were gathering by the bus when half an hour later Ash hurried into the stable yard. He looked from Rylee to Annie then to the teacher.
His face was red and his eyes manic as he stared from one to the other. “What the bloody hell is going on here. Lilli, what are you doing here? Ms. Winters, explain?”
“Dad, I just wanted to ride. You wouldn’t let me,” Annie wailed.
“You have an explanation? Why is my daughter here without my express permission?”
“Your sister signed her permission slip. Here. See for yourself. She signed it like she has on many other occasions.” Ms. Winters held out the form with a trembling hand.
Ash snatched it from her and studied it with a glare distorting his face. Then he turned to Rylee. His expression didn’t soften one bit.
“And do you plan to tell me you didn’t realize this was my child?”
“Yes, Ash, I am, seeing you didn’t have the manners to introduce us properly and she calls herself Annie.”
Blood Ties a Broken Heart Page 8
