“I hate my name Lillian. Everyone at school calls me Annie,” the child cried.
Ash sagged. The heat of his rage seemed to slip away from him. “So, why have I been called? Obviously she’s not hurt,” he snapped.
“No, she’s not hurt, but my horse is,” Rylee stated bluntly.
Ash glanced from Rylee to Annie to the pony. “What?”
“Annie—or should I say Lillian—is wearing a pair of boots with nasty pointed spurs. She rode with them and has ripped Moonbeam’s sides open. She’s lucky not to have been thrown off. The poor horse is distressed and I have a vet coming to treat her.”
Ash looked at Annie’s boots, frowned then he bent down and picked up one foot. He let his child’s foot drop to the ground as if he had been bitten. “But where would she have…?”
“For God’s sake, open your bloody eyes. Where do you think she got them from? Your sister. Your pure and innocent sister. The one who never treats her horses badly. It’s time you faced the truth,” Rylee declared.
His face paled to a sickly gray, but he only glared at Rylee before he turned to Lillian. “Explain, right now, young lady. Where did you get them and why did you use them?”
“Daddy, I’m sorry. The horse was too slow. It’s what Arden uses when her horses are too slow. They were in her wardrobe, so I took them. I wanted to go faster. I wanted to win.”
“You wanted to win!” Ash grabbed Annie’s arm in a fierce grip and dragged her toward the pony. “You wanted to win and to do that you did this to an innocent animal? You did this, Lilli? Oh my God, I have never been so ashamed.”
“Well, Arden does it and you never get cross at her. You always buy her faster and better horses. So why are you mad at me?” The child’s words choked into silence as she stood there peering up at her father, an expression of confusion twisting her face.
He took his hand off his daughter’s arm. He stood by her in stunned silence, his head hanging almost against his chest. His eyes closed. “Go back to school, Lilli. We’ll talk about this later.”
The child turned away from her father, but instead of going toward the bus, she ran toward the injured pony and swung into the saddle with one lithe movement—that could only have been taught by Arden—onto the injured horse and kicked its sides. Moonbeam squealed then spun around and took off at a gallop toward the open paddocks.
“Regan, give me your horse,” Rylee shouted.
She swung into the saddle and urged the horse forward. With a bounding leap, Thor galloped after the little silver mare. Rylee’s heart pounded. If Moonbeam took it into her head to buck or jump any of the fences, Annie would come off and, with the sharp spurs jagging at her tender sides, it was more than likely the little pony would. To make matters worse, Annie had thrown her helmet to the ground while she’d waited for her father.
Rylee heard thudding hooves behind her and glanced over her shoulder. Ash, mounted on one of the bigger ponies, was trying to catch up. She waved her hand and veered to the right. If she could get across the stream and in front of them, she could stop them before they reached the bridge. She could see, even from this distance, that Annie had no control over the little horse. Moonbeam galloped madly, her head shaking and flicking froth from side to side in a desperate attempt to escape the pain. Rylee lost sight of them for a moment as she charged through the gums by the stream where she kept her head down over the horse’s neck to avoid low hanging branches. Fortunately, her horse slowed when it was faced with the steep bank down into the stream and she leaned back a little and let the horse pick its own path. Once across the shallow water course, the big gelding surged ahead and Rylee bent over his neck, encouraging it to bound up the other side of the stream bed. She urged Thor on, craning her neck to catch a view of the runaways, but she couldn’t see Annie. At full gallop she crossed back across the bridge toward the bolting pony just before Annie and a sweat-lathered Moonbeam thundered up the ridge. She raced her horse in from the left front and Moonbeam started slowing immediately when she saw the bigger horse cutting across her path, so Rylee could grab the reins and pull to gently turn her.
They were almost at the bridge before Moonbeam halted. Rylee studied Annie’s white tear-streaked face. She didn’t quite know what to say. A scolding at this stage would not help the situation. Besides, it was her father’s job to reprimand her.
“Thank God you’re safe, Annie.”
Gasping with exertion, Rylee jumped from the saddle. She let Thor go and walked quietly around Moonbeam. The little horse stood shaking and sweating, her breath gushing in and out of her tortured lungs in great grunts. Rylee reached up and helped the child down. Annie threw herself against Rylee where she stood hugging her and trembling as huge sobs convulsed her tiny chest.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Annie cried.
Rylee put her arms around her shoulders and held her close. “So you should be, Annie. It is wrong to hurt a horse, but then you didn’t really know, did you? Someone has taught you the wrong thing. It’s not your fault.”
Annie peered up at Rylee, tears still rolling down her cheeks. “Will you and Moonbeam forgive me? I won’t ever do it again.”
Rylee was so angry about the treatment her horse had been subjected to that a sliver of dislike for Annie remained, but she knew logically that this child had been misguided by someone she loved and trusted. She should not be punished for her actions. Rylee sighed, forgiveness was always a difficult thing, but valuable. “Yes, I will forgive you, Annie, but you will have to make a real effort to make amends to Moonbeam, because she won’t trust you anymore.”
“I’m sorry. So sorry,” Annie sobbed, burying her face in Rylee’s shirt.
Rylee eased Annie away from her, wiped the tears away and put her arms around her again. They watched together as Ash rode up. He leaped from the horse and pulled Lilli from Rylee’s embrace. He knelt down so he could look directly into her face. He shook her none too gently.
“What the hell do you think you were doing? You could have been thrown off. I couldn’t bear it if I lost you.” Ash was so angry and distraught he spluttered his words, his face red, the veins prominent in his neck and his eyes filled with moisture.
Annie stood frozen in his clutching grip. She appeared almost afraid of him. “I’m sorry—sorry I used the spurs and sorry I ran away,” she wailed. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Ash held his daughter at arm’s length and glared at her. “What in the hell made you use those stupid spurs in the first place?”
Rylee desperately wanted to step in between father and daughter. She wanted to shout at Ash that it was his fault. Were his eyes open yet? But she didn’t move, just stood frozen to the spot watching the man she loved chastise his child.
Lilli glowered up at her father, her face pale and still. “Arden uses them. I didn’t realize it was wrong because you never tell Arden off. She uses them all the time and whips and stuff. She says it improves their performance.” The defiant expression on the child’s face disintegrated and Lilli blubbered in earnest now.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I had no idea Arden used them. She shouldn’t.” He loosened his grip on his daughter’s arms and dropped his hands to his thighs.
Lilli wiped the tears away with her sleeve. “But she does and you watch her train, but you don’t say anything.”
Ash looked shamefaced, turned and walked away from his sobbing daughter, shaking his head. Rylee stepped forward and wrapped her arms around the child, wishing Ash could have brought himself to comfort Lilli, despite her wrong doing.
“Annie… Sorry, Lilli. It’s not right to use things that will hurt a horse, especially when you are new to riding and not trained to use special equipment like spurs. Besides, I don’t allow people to use that sort of equipment on my horses. I don’t believe a good rider needs them,” Rylee said quietly, watching for some reaction from Ash.
“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt Moonbeam,” Annie said again, fresh tears filling her eyes.
“I know. Now we need to take Moonbeam back to see the vet.”
Lilli peered over Rylee’s arm at her dad where he stood staring out over the horizon, his shoulders set square and stiff. “What about my dad? Will he still be angry with me?”
Rylee patted Lilli’s shoulder. “I think maybe your dad and you will need to have a chat about what has happened. Now up you go on my horse. You can ride behind me.”
With Moonbeam on the lead and Lilli up behind, Rylee guided the big gelding toward the stables.
Ash mounted his horse without saying anything to either of them. He rode a little ahead. Even though she was angry at him, Rylee couldn’t help but be concerned for him and the shame he must carry. He obviously had plenty to think about—how his blind eye to his sister’s excesses had now affected his daughter. To be sprung by one’s child in what amounted to a lie must have been one of the most shattering experiences in the world. Children could be less than forgiving of parent’s transgressions and failures. Ash would have some bridges to mend.
Ash’s heart still beat madly while his lungs struggled to get enough breath. He was furious at himself, Annie and Arden and that was a reasonable response, but he couldn’t justify why he was also angry at Rylee for not recognizing his daughter, for letting her ride and for being so damn reasonable about the whole bloody disaster—her injured horse, his daughter’s unforgivable transgression and him for being so damn blind.
His heart had almost exploded with terror at the sight of his daughter being carried off at a mad gallop. In his mind, he could see Julie clinging desperately to the neck of the bolting horse in the same manner. Her frantic screams for help unanswered as he and Arden had failed to catch up to her and the bolting horse before it had charged a six rail fence, baulked, crashed into the railings then thrown Julie over its head. She had never regained consciousness.
Shame had seared his soul in the face of Lilli’s accusation that he let Arden do it. He castigated himself for being so blind, so loyal to his baby sister. He had spent so many of his formative years protecting her from their stepmother’s dislike. How did one just stop doing that?
His eight-year-old daughter’s allegations were a childish echo of Rylee’s. He didn’t know what to say to her. How could he defend himself to his child and punish her for what he had condoned. Oh God, what a bloody mess I’ve made of everything.
No wonder Rylee was so angry with him. He hadn’t listened to her before or more recently. He had brushed her concerns aside. Again and again he had put Arden first and now he was reaping the rewards—betrayal, lies and lost love.
He didn’t know what to say to Rylee—the woman he loved. The woman whose integrity and trust he had questioned and betrayed. He thought of the day ten years ago when he had gone to the stables to find Arden, and had then been discovered by Rylee and Aileen Jones holding a bottle full of performance enhancing drug and an empty syringe. The immediate assumption had been made that he was the one doing the injecting, and even though he had just at that moment snatched the stuff off his sister, he had let them believe it was him to save Arden’s equestrian dream. He knew he’d looked guilty that day and even felt it, but that was nothing on his guilt now, riding a few meters in front of his traumatized and confused daughter. Then he had been innocent—today he was not. His face burned with the shame.
His shame turned to rage as he rode—rage against the sister he loved. Who he had taken the rap for. The sister, who had lied to him then, and was lying to him still.
The horse danced underneath him, soaking up the fury that trembled through his body. He tried to calm himself, but found it impossible. Last night he had defended Arden and practically called Rylee a liar. How could she ever forgive him such a huge transgression? He would have enough trouble forgiving himself for being a fool.
He reined in at the saddling yard, tied his tired horse up and walked to the gate. He stood there staring down the driveway wishing fervently for escape. Moments later, Rylee and Annie halted. Regan helped Annie down then took the horse from Rylee. Ash did not turn around. He felt exposed, standing alone in the stable yard unable to face the two people behind him. He didn’t know what to say—and he would not try to justify himself. Ms. Winters peered under her brows at him and he turned away from her questioning stare.
He didn’t know what to say to her either. He was mad at Lilli for lying, mad at Arden for deceiving him—for going against his express instructions—and mad at himself for being so slack that he didn’t check just what his child had been given permission for. So much for trust.
He heard a car screech through the gate and roar toward him. He saw Arden behind the wheel. What the hell is she doing here? She’s meant to be in Melbourne? Holy shit, she’s here and I called Rylee a liar. What the hell is happening? God damn it. My life is out of control.
Right behind her came the vet. Rylee stood by Lilli, her arm draped supportively over the child’s shoulder. Ash flinched from the expression in his daughter’s eyes, but the look in Rylee’s was even more emotionally crushing. Here he saw compassion, love and concern, none of which he deserved. But shadowed in the depths he also saw a savage expression of hurt and resentment. This he did deserve, and it crushed him beyond belief that he had betrayed his love so badly.
“What the hell have you done to Lilli?” Arden stalked toward them, her piercing blue eyes fixed on Rylee. “Risked her life on some untrained nag. How dare you?” Arden didn’t appear to notice Ash standing so stiffly to the side.
Knowing she was about to attack Rylee, he strode between them. “Shut up, Arden.”
His sister turned. Her face paled. “What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same question, sister dear. Aren’t you supposed to be in Melbourne? You’ve outright lied to me.”
Arden waved her hand to dismiss the accusation. “Oh, I came back.” She turned toward Rylee. “Lilli, come here to Aunty Arden. I will make it all better. Don’t you worry.”
Lilli glared at her aunt. “This is your fault—yours and Daddy’s. You both lied to me.”
“Whatever are you on about, sweetie?” Arden almost danced toward them in her stilettoes.
Lilli bent down, tugged off one of the offending boots and threw it toward Arden. It landed with a thud at her feet. “This is what I’m on about, Aunty Arden.” The sarcasm turned the affectionate moniker into an insult not misunderstood by any of those gathered around. Ash stood immobile. Rylee squeezed Lilli tightly.
Arden bent down and picked up the boot. She examined it closely then fixed her niece with a penetrating stare. “Wherever did you get these nasty things?” she asked.
“They’re yours,” Lilli accused her aunt.
Arden flicked her head to one side, her expression drawn sharply into one of feigned disbelief. “These have nothing to do with me. What makes you say such a thing?”
“Because I got them out of your cupboard. They’re yours. I’ve seen you use them before—on Black Satin,” Lilli yelled and stamped her foot.
Rylee stepped forward. “For goodness sake, have the guts to own up to it. Stop blaming your eight-year-old niece for your crime, just like you blamed Ash ten years ago. You let your brother take the blame for your crime. You destroyed his riding ambitions to save yours.”
“You petty minded, bitch, Rylee O’Shaughnessy. You think you’ve now got what you wanted all those years ago. Think again. Ash will never take your word over mine. Never,” Arden screeched.
“Oh yes, he will,” Ash said. “From now on, you wear your own dirt, little sister. Your lies don’t wash with me anymore. Your lies put Lilli at risk. Your ruthless ambition at any cost has kept me from being with Rylee all these years. No more, Arden.” The crushing pain in his chest as he cut his sister down was almost physical.
“Ash, you can’t do this to me.” She moved toward him, but he backed away and came to stand beside Rylee.
“I have, Arden. No more of your bullshit,” he said.
�
��She doesn’t want your kid, big brother. Don’t forget that,” she scoffed. “Will you throw Lilli to the wolves for her, like you’re doing to me?”
“We’ll work it out,” Ash stated firmly.
“With Lilli as the sacrificial lamb? What sort of life will she have with a stepmother who doesn’t want her? Who does not even like kids. Doesn’t even want her own.”
Rylee shivered. Arden was getting too close to her terrible truth. How could she be a stepmother? How could she take responsibility for another woman’s child? Her carelessness had killed her little brother. She had been responsible for his care and safety and she had failed. It scared the heck out of her—the thought of being responsible for Ash’s child. She felt sick at the idea.
Ash stared at Rylee with a desperate plea in his expression for her to dispute his sister’s accusations.
She didn’t need his urging. “Damn you, Arden. Just because at seventeen I said I didn’t want children, you draw cruel assumptions.”
Anger shuddered through her body. She did want children, her own children. But Lilli was a different matter altogether. All she knew was it could be her one chance to finally break Arden’s hold on Ash and she had to take it, no matter what the consequences were.
“Well, you said it. You said you would never ever take on the task of being a stepmother.”
Rylee gasped. Arden had hit the nail on the head without even realizing. She took a deep breath. Could she outright lie? Would it come back to haunt her if she did? How could she explain to Ash that she would not take responsibility for his daughter? Before she could compose an answer, Ash spoke.
“Arden, butt out.”
“Shut up, big brother. You need to face the truth. She doesn’t want to be a mother to Lilli.”
“Rylee?” he asked.
“Ash, I… I… it’s not that I don’t want to be a stepmother. It’s just I don’t believe I would be good enough. I couldn’t bear it if I disappointed the man I loved,” she muttered the not quite lie between clenched teeth. She waited for God’s wrath to come down upon her.
Blood Ties a Broken Heart Page 9
