Nothing happened, except that Ash frowned. “Why would you disappoint, Rylee?”
She shivered. “I made so many mistakes with my siblings. It was such a wretched situation. Then I see my stepmother come in and take us all in hand. We gave her hell—so much and through it all she smiled, loved and cared for us. We eventually came to adore her. I don’t think I’m woman enough to be half the stepmother she is and if I can’t be as good, I would feel like I had failed—myself, the child and the man I loved. I couldn’t bear it.” Rylee cringed inside at the little twist to the truth.
Ash immediately wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. “You are so tough on yourself, my love. You will make a great mother to any child, be it your own or another’s.”
If only you knew the truth, you wouldn’t be saying that.
“Yes, sis. We never even noticed your stuff ups. We knew we were loved and our stomachs were always full of good food. What more does a kid need,” Regan said from behind her.
“See,” Ash said.
“Yes, but…”
“Shh, sis. Stop comparing yourself to Ma. She’s one of God’s angels,” Regan announced.
Arden glared at them, her eyes sparking fury before she spun on her heel and stalked away. Moments later, her car roared out of the gate.
Ash sighed with relief. With Arden gone, he had a chance to perhaps make some amends. He would deal with her later without Lilli to witness the dressing down he intended to deliver. Things between them were going to be challenging enough as it was.
Chapter Seven
He glanced over to where Lilli stood by, watching the vet. “I think I might have some bridges to repair with my daughter. It is no more than I deserve. It will be good for me to eat some humble pie.”
“Too right. In my opinion, Rylee is letting you off far too easily,” Regan announced.
Ash looked up at Regan. “I know, but I’m sure you’ll make up for her lack of censure.”
“I might at that.”
“Mr. St. Clair, I do need to get the children back to school. What is happening with, Lilli?” Ms. Winters asked.
“She can go back to school with you. I need to think about what has happened before I tackle Lilli.”
“I understand,” Ms. Winters said politely. “Lilli.”
The child frowned at the teacher, but obeyed. She glared savagely at her father as she walked past him. Her disapproval cut him like a knife in his guts. How did a father ever earn a child’s respect back when he had failed so absolutely?
“I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. We’ll have a chat then,” he said.
“Whatever, Dad.”
He wanted to chastise her for being insolent, but he let it go, not willing to add to her current dislike of him. It was more than he could cope with right now. When the bus disappeared out of the gate, he turned to Rylee. She appeared beaten. Emotions swirled in her eyes. She smiled, just a small sympathetic smile. He had some broken bridges to mend here too. God what had he done? How had he let his life get this out of control?
He stepped toward her. “I’m so sorry—for Lilli and the horse, for Arden and for being an idiot. Can you ever forgive me?”
“Right now, I don’t know. I would like to think so, but I just don’t know. I suppose it depends on what you do next.”
“I’m so confused. I love Arden. She’s my sister. But her betrayal really hurts. She used me and I willingly took the fall because I couldn’t believe she could stoop so low. That she would be so under the spell of ambition. I’ll have to sort her out.”
“Well, your betrayal hurts me too—the fact you didn’t believe me. You dismissed the evidence, preferring to believe your sister over me, the woman you profess to love so much. I don’t know if I can ever trust you.”
Ash glanced at the ground and ran his hand through his hair. When he looked back up at her he felt the life drain out of him under the burden of trepidation that he had lost his place in Rylee’s heart forever. “Please don’t say that. I know I’ll have to earn your trust and your respect, but I will. I will do anything to earn it back.”
“What are you going to do about, Arden?”
Torn by loyalty to his sister and his love for Rylee, he knew a sacrifice would have to be made. He made a snap decision. “Rylee, I have to go. I need to see Arden. I need to sort this out—to make it right. Don’t give up on me.”
He turned and stalked to his car without looking at her. He couldn’t bear to see the anguish in her eyes—the uncertainty, the anger or the contempt. Suddenly he knew what he had to do. No matter how painful the results, he knew it was time to publically renounce his sister and withdraw his support of her campaign to gain qualification for the Olympics. He had to clear his name of the doping charge. Maybe then he could face Rylee and dare ask her to share his life.
Her words echoed around and around in his head —‘I don’t know if I can ever trust you’. He knew with absolute certainty that if he didn’t have Rylee’s trust, he had nothing. His meaning in life would be shattered.
Rylee watched him go—watched the man she loved walk away. Despite what had happened today, she wasn’t sure Ash had the strength to make a clean break with his sister. She suspected Arden would talk him around as she had in the past. And if Arden did win her brother over, Rylee knew it would be the end of her and Ash. Her heart spasmed painfully as if it was being ripped in two at the thought, but it was a matter of sanity and survival—hers. Much as she loved Ash, she was not prepared to compromise her integrity and she could not trap herself into some half-life of furtive sex with no future.
And although her decision sliced through her, she knew it was probably for the best if Ash didn’t come back, because then she would have to tell him she killed her little brother. She must have whimpered out loud for she felt Regan’s hand on her shoulder.
“Rylee don’t give up. He said he was going to make it right.”
She looked up at her brother. “Yes, right for Arden probably and that will be the end of it for us and it hurts like hell, Regan.”
* * * *
Damn damn damn. How the hell do I make this right for everyone? The reality of his situation slammed into him—he couldn’t. Someone had to be the loser and he was the one to decide who. Despite his fury at Arden, he still loved her, but to do right by Arden was to betray Rylee’s love and his own. He didn’t know what he was going to say to his sister. How did one destroy a person’s dream?
The thundering blast of a truck horn snapped him back to reality. He registered that he had drifted into the adjacent lane. He swerved back into his own, clutching the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip. He eased his foot from the accelerator. The car slowed dramatically until it was traveling within the legal limit. The truck roared past with another disapproving blast of the horn. Ash shuddered and concentrated on his driving.
The house was deserted, so Ash drove on to the stables. The only light showing was a faint glow from the storage rooms at the end of a long row of stalls. He walked slowly past the stalls and several horses popped their heads out in the hope someone was bringing more food. Shamal of the Desert, his newest purchase for Arden, snorted and threw his head up and down. Ash sighed. He was a good horse, probably already ruined by his sister.
Ash found Arden in the storage room. He stood unnoticed in the doorway for a moment watching her as she emptied the contents of one cupboard into a large trunk.
“So, Arden, you’re hiding the evidence.”
She started and looked up, her expression distorted with guilt.
“No, I’m— I’m just tidying up,” she stuttered, trying to simultaneously slam the other cupboard and the trunk shut.
Ash shook his head. “No you don’t.”
He strode across the intervening space and stepped between her and the cupboard. He wrenched open the door and felt sick. It was stacked full of bottles, hypodermics, boots with spurs and whips and other bits and pieces he didn’t even want to i
dentify. The hurt of her lies hit him in the stomach like a well thrown right hand punch. His breath cramped in his chest as he stared in horror at Arden’s chamber of torture equipment.
“My God. How could you do this? I have given you the best facilities, the best horses, plenty of money and my equestrian career. Why?” Ash pointed at the offending equipment.
Arden crossed her arms over her body and glared at him. “Why, big brother? You ask why? Well I will tell you. I have no talent, that’s why. I have no affinity with horses. I have no natural ability. The only way I could achieve is to use these aids to force the horses to achieve.”
He turned, sorry for her for a brief moment knowing it must be devastating to have to face the fact she was not suited to her chosen sport or craft… To dream an impossible dream and to know she would never be good enough to achieve it.
“Arden…”
He started to soothe her angst, but she cut him off.
“Don’t give me platitudes. I know what I am. Rylee has more talent and natural ability in her little finger than I have in my whole body. I was so jealous. I knew even back then. I knew. I doped her horse to make it docile and doped mine to make it hyper because I wanted to win, so badly and there was no other way to achieve it.”
“Why didn’t you give up?” Ash asked.
His sister sniffed. “I don’t know. I just wanted to be good at something. Our stepmother always said I was a failure and now she’s been proved right.”
“This failure is of your own making,” Ash said quietly.
“I know,” she muttered as she hung her head.
A flash of sympathy flickered through him. He pushed it away. Now was not the time for sympathy.
“You know I can’t support you anymore.”
“I know. You love Rylee,” she replied her response tight and sharp.
“I love you too. You’re my sister. Despite that, I don’t like what you have done.”
“What will happen to me, Ash?” she asked. “Are you going to take the stables and horses away from me?”
Ash swallowed with a dry constricted throat, reluctant to say what had to be said. “Yes I’m going to take them from you because otherwise you’ll continue to destroy perfectly good horses. Then you’ll be on your own. I’ll also be making a public statement to the effect that I no longer support you because of your methods.”
“Please don’t. I’ll never compete again. They’ll force me out.”
“That may be so. It’s the price you’ll have to pay.”
“Please don’t make it public, Ash. Please.”
“I’m sorry, Arden. I have to clear my name and restore my reputation.”
“For Rylee?” Arden asked.
Ash nodded. “Yes, for Rylee, but also for Lilli. She needs to know I do not support cruelty to animals and she needs to trust that I will not turn a blind eye to it or condone it.”
“Damn you, Ash. Damn you.” She bent and snatched up a girth from the trunk and charged at him, the length of leather swinging above her head, the buckles clinking ominously as she aimed at his face. The sharp metal spikes stung as they grazed his cheek, but before she could withdraw to swing again, he caught it in a tightly clenched fist. With brutal roughness, he pulled his sister to him. He saw the fear in her eyes as she stared up at him, but the fear was shadowed by defiance and his rage exploded, almost annihilating any affection he still held for her.
“It’s over, sister dear. Don’t ever come near me or mine again,” he snarled in her face.
“Ash…” Her wail bounced around the small room. He saw tears in her eyes, but shut himself off from her appeal.
“It’s over.”
“No, you will not ruin me. You will not, ” Arden screamed and charged at him with a shovel raised above her head.
Ash watched her come. Given Arden was prone to displays of temper that cooled as quickly as they had begun he didn’t really believe she would actually attack him. Shocked out of complacency when she kept coming, he ducked to the side, tripped on the girth and fell with a thud. As he tried to scrabble out of her reach, he saw the shovel swinging down and it was too late to move out of the way. A savage pain ripped through him as he staggered under the blow. The world spun in a giddy circle and he fell to his knees. He peered up at his sister. She scowled down at him. Then her face faded, and blackness enveloped him.
* * * *
Ash stirred then stilled as his head exploded into agonizing pain. He opened his eyes. It was dark and he struggled to remember where he was. The smell of horse assailed him. He heard them shuffling restlessly on the other side of the wall. When his vision steadied, he lifted his head with extreme caution and scanned the room. The world immediately spun in an ever increasing spiral. He shut his eyes for a moment then opened them again. The room steadied. He put his hand to his head and tenderly touched the sore spot. He found a large blob of cold stickiness. His fingers were covered in blood.
Then the memory returned of Arden smacking him over the head with the shovel. He glanced around. He was alone. She had left him there to…to what—die maybe? His baby sister, the one he had cared for and protected from the evil stepmother and life’s little battles, had hit him and left him injured and alone. Something inside him died in that moment and the knowledge that replaced it was painful. He had been strung along by his own sister, probably for most of his life. He knew now he’d been a fool falling for her easy manipulation of his brotherly love. He had lost ten years of love with Rylee and was just about to lose it again. Maybe he had already. She’d said she couldn’t trust him anymore. The pain in his chest was almost as real as the pain in his skull. God damn it. I’ve been a bloody fool.
With extreme care he climbed to his feet. He struggled to stand, grabbing for the wall to prevent himself from falling. The room spun and the floor seemed to tilt and slant under his feet. He wobbled and nearly lost his balance again as he pulled out his phone. His vision blurred as he tried to dial—his fingers refusing to go where his brain directed them. He stabbed at the buttons and finally managed to dial the emergency number. Struggling to stay conscious he then dialed his father’s number.
“Dad, its Ash. I’m at the stables. I’ve called an ambulance. Arden has bashed me over the head. I feel pretty crook,” he stuttered into the phone.
“Good God, son, are you serious?” his father shouted in the phone.
“Yes and I’m in a pretty bad way,” he replied, his words slurred a bit as he fought to stay conscious.
“Take it easy, son. I’m on my way.”
The phone slipped from numb fingers and his knees sagged beneath him. He fought the blackness as he collapsed on the concrete floor.
He heard the ambulance screaming into the yard before his father arrived.
“I’m here. Help. I’m here in the storage room,” he cried out.
He heard the thud of feet and was vaguely aware of two people in green bending over him. He groaned and tried to get up, but gentle hands pushed him down and murmured reassuring words. Unable to stay alert any longer, he willingly gave himself up to the care of the paramedics.
* * * *
They say you can die from a broken heart. Rylee fought through the vagueness that enveloped her, the pain in her chest almost physical, and she wondered if her heart had actually broken. Lethargy held her in the bed. Outside her window there were plenty of indications that life went on. She could hear the birds singing, the sound of hooves clattering in the stable yard and children’s voices shouting. Thank God for Regan.
She rolled over and instinctively reached for her phone on the bedside table, but her fingers found empty space. Damn, what did I do with that? Must have left it somewhere. Probably better anyway. No need to confront the silence from Ash. A huge emptiness inside blocked her emotions and she lay there numbly. Need to get my shit together. Move past this pain. Gotta get on with my life—without Ash.
“Come on, you. Stop wallowing. The world is awaiting your input,” Regan sai
d.
Without lifting the pillow off her head, Rylee muttered, “All right, all right, I’m getting there. Bugger off, little brother, and I’ll get up, okay?”
“Good—and about time. Hurry up. I have pizza coming,” he replied.
“Who gave you permission to be so cheerful when I’m suffering here?”
He ripped the pillow out of her grip and off her head. “Stop whining, sis. I’ve allowed you to wallow for more than twenty-four hours. Twenty-four hours is good. More is pure indulgence.”
“Fine, you big bully. Give me five and I’ll be down,” she grumbled
“That’s more like it. No good Irish woman lets the world defeat her.”
Rylee opened her eyes and glared balefully up at her cheerful brother.
“Out, now,” he said with a sharp arc of his finger indicating the action she needed to take.
Rylee pushed herself into a sitting position and dangled her feet over the side of the bed. Regan promptly put her slippers on. Rylee watched him without saying a word. She knew her brother was hurt, angry and frustrated for her and this showed he cared. She remembered he had done this for her twice before. First when she had barely been thirteen and they had been preparing for her little brother’s funeral—the little brother she had let die. And the second time ten years ago. She’d cried then, for the loss in her life and the grief she held close.
Regan handed her a hanky. “Come now, Ry. Enough of those tears. He isn’t worth it.”
She sniffed and wiped her nose and eyes. “Regan, you remember when you did this for me before? How you got me on the other side of the pain?”
“Yes, sis, I remember and I’ll get you on the other side of this too.”
He left then, and she pulled on a jacket and followed him down into the lounge.
As she got comfortable, Regan stood and faced her. “Now, sis, I am about to deliver a few home truths. You won’t like it, but I think you need it.”
Blood Ties a Broken Heart Page 10
