Rock Gods: Baden
Page 23
She appeared shocked and hurt. She had to know that this was going to blow up in her face at some point, to blatantly hug and declare she loved Damon knowing I was in the building and could walk in on them at any time.
She didn’t bother denying it either when I confronted her. What was she thinking? I turned back in my seat and filled my glass. The burn as the liquid slid down my throat reminded me that I could still feel.
I placed my head in my hands. How many drinks was it going to take before I stopped feeling? Stopped caring about the look of hurt and horror on Crystal’s face when I cast her aside? She deserved every bit of that after what she had done to me.
My head snapped up at the sound of someone placing a glass on the table.
I closed my eyes. When I reopened them, I had not been hallucinating. Steve Grey was sitting across from me.
“So Christmas Davies strikes again,” he snarled. “Bitch gets around.” He poured himself a shot from the bottle that was sitting on the table.
I let his words rattle around in my head. If I were ever going to get the truth of what happened to Christmas Davies at that party, now would be the time. That was if I could trust Steve Grey to tell me the truth.
Was I willing to take the risk?
Chapter 43
Crystal
I sat on the sofa in the office of the community center. Anita had managed to disperse the crowd that had gathered when the altercation between Damon and Baden had gone down. Damon sat beside me, and I leaned my head on his shoulders and let the tears fall.
“I am so fucking sorry, Chrissy. I thought my past didn’t matter anymore. Everything happened such a long time ago. I considered it water under the bridge.” He stroked my hair as I cried into his shirt.
“I think I have some explaining to do, and hopefully when I’m done, you will be able to forgive me for my part in what happened here today.” He handed me a box of tissues. Guess he didn’t care for me snotting up his black t-shirt. It wasn’t like he didn’t have a closet full.
“Hopefully once you understand where Baden’s assumption had come from you will be able to forgive him, too.” Damon sounded defeated. Like this was all his fault.
“I don’t think anything you have to say is going to make me forgive Baden for what happened. He threw my past in my face without an explanation and stormed out of here like a petulant child.” I wiped my face and blew my nose.
Enough sappy sentiments.
I was not going to give Baden Dogger any more of my tears.
This was the very reason I did not want to pursue a relationship with a musician.
Their attitudes of self-entitlement and superiority were always going to take precedence over anything or anyone else.
Baden was no exception. Today was not the first time Baden had expressed jealousy over someone from my life.
I was positive there was nothing Damon could say that was going to change my mind about what kind of man Baden Dogger had proven himself to be today.
Not the kind I needed in my life.
Then why was my heart breaking into a million pieces?
Chapter 44
Baden
“It’s only you and me here, Steve. No lawyers, no press and no fucking record label. I want to know what happened the night Christmas Davies showed up at your party.” I’d once asked Steve why he chose to fight rather than settle. At the time, he convinced me that he was setting a precedent for other bands unjustly accused of misconduct.
Crystal had told me it was she who had refused a settlement. She wanted a public declaration of her innocence. In the end, backroom deals were made and Crystal never got her apology.
Steve poured himself another shot. “We made no secret of the fact that we were kinky fuckers. Not unlike yourself.” I knew he was referring to the fact that I liked to tie my women to my bedpost and other things. Being a Dom was never about administering control over my partner. Unless you’d been in that kind of relationship, there was no way for me to explain the intricacies involved; therefore, I let his comment slide.
“Peter was our go-to guy. He brought us women who were looking for the ultimate rock star experience. A gangbang with the entire band.” He shrugged unapologetically. “We didn’t simply share the music, we shared everything, including women.”
It was no wonder how easy it was for people to believe Maddox and I shared the same woman. The closest we ever came was having the same groupie give us blowjobs before a show. We never made any attempts to dispute the fact. That was until Maddox fell in love with his current girlfriend, Kitt.
“It was Peter’s job to screen the women. Make sure they were clean, protected and legal.” He scoffed at the last criteria, no doubt since it was the testimony of a seventeen-year-old girl that took them down. As much as everyone blamed Christmas Davies, it was that one single fact that tore down the house of cards Cover Me Grey had built.
“There were times when a few of the women were nervous about being backdoored for the first time. It wasn’t uncommon to offer something to help her relax.” He finished his drink, and I hoped he continued his confession before he became too drunk to be coherent.
“We never forced a woman who changed her mind and decided the reality of what was going to happen was not as appealing as the fantasy. Having four guys fuck you at once is a lot to handle.” The fucker smiled as he grabbed his crotch.
His face suddenly got serious. “After the dust settled, I did a little investigation of my own. With my fist to Peter’s face.” He snickered, most likely remembering how it felt to put the little fucker in his place. “Turns out Peter was not as honest as we thought. Not every woman he brought us was aware of the expectations when they showed up. He admitted to lying to us about the women being nervous and took it upon himself to give them a little something to help them relax. He was fucking drugging women, essentially making them willing to do whatever we asked.” He paused and sighed. “He should have told us he was having trouble finding the kind of women we were looking for.”
He slammed his fist on the table. “What did he think would happen if he told us no? It wasn’t like we could fire his ass. He was Barton’s nephew.” Steve’s eye twitched in nervousness. Barton was an executive at our old record label. He was as slimy as they came. It didn’t surprise me that the rotten apple didn't fall far from the scumbag tree.
“I don’t think there’s any way you’re going to convince me you were clueless as to what good ole Peter was doing. You called her a no-talent groupie who tried to sleep her way to the top,” I reminded Steve.
He laughed in my face. “In hindsight, yeah, we became complacent and let others do our dirty work, and don’t think I didn’t see the irony in the fact that we took the fall for Peter, Barton and the label.” His eyes looked towards the back of the room. I knew he was watching the scene between Damon and I play out like it had too many times today already.
Had no other celebrity done anything stupid this Christmas Eve that could be taken the headline away from me?
Steve dropped his eyes. “You know as well as I do anything we said or did was written and sanctioned by the label. Peter told Barton she was a no-talent groupie attempting to sleep her way onto our tour. The complaint she made was about her trying to get her fifteen minutes of fame. I eventually felt sorry for my part in what happened.”
As well he should. At least I knew that Crystal was telling the truth about what happened that night. It still didn’t take away from the fact that I had caught her hugging Damon and professing her love.
Steve pointed to the TV. “Except there she is with the same guy who picked her up that night. I don’t know what kind of game she was playing back then or now, but I’d hold on for a shit storm if I were you if they’re both involved.”
“What guy?” I was confused. There were other people around, but the only ones I noticed were Crystal and Damon.
“Shit, Bad Dog, the dude you took out. That’s the same guy who came and got her.”
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I recalled what she had told me about wanting to leave the party. “I called my uncle to come and get me; my father was out of town on business.”
I reached over and grabbed the front of Steve’s shirt.
“Are you one hundred percent fucking sure that the guy I punched out is the same person who came for Christmas Davies?” He had to be mistaken. There was no other explanation.
“Fuck, the guy tore up my lawn with that piece of shit he rode. Yeah, that’s the guy. I’d seen him around the studio from time to time. He’s an addict. It was another reason I was ready to believe the worst about her. She left our party with a fucking addict and acted like we were scum. Un-fucking-believable.”
“I called my uncle to come and get me; my father was out of town on business.” The words rattled around in my head. “He rode his bike up the lawn and tore the hell out of it.”
“Bad Dog, are you okay? Fuck, you look like you’re about to puke.” He pushed the bottle of tequila away. “Did you turn into a lightweight while on hiatus?” He sat back in his chair and chuckled. “You better start practicing before you head back on tour unless you’re okay with looking like a pussy.”
He was right, I was about to hurl, and it had nothing to do with the amount of alcohol I’d consumed.
“Look, man, I get it, the girl got under your skin. Make a deal to get her off your back and get on with your life.” Easy for him to say. He was not the one who accused the woman he loved of infidelity and then threw her past in her face. To top it off, it was now playing out on every tabloid news show on re-run.
We were going on tour with Divine Chrysalis. I was going to have to face her every day and know I ruined the best thing that had happened to me because I could not let go of the past.
“I heard you tell him you loved him, Crystal.” I had accused her of cheating.
“Of course I love him, Baden, he’s…” I had cut her off. I didn’t let her finish. If I had, she would have told me why.
Of course, she loved him; he was her uncle.
And it wasn’t the first time I had made that horrendous mistake.
“Baden, I’d like you to meet—”
“Your obligatory fuck buddy?” I’d asked because I was jealous of seeing her hug another man.
“No, you asshole, I want to introduce you to Keith, my cousin. Ashley and Amber’s brother.”
We fought about it later that day, and I promised I would never jump to conclusions again. I failed.
I was ready to beat myself up about what happened tonight. However, I had to question why the topic of Damon was never mentioned. She had to know about our past. Why wouldn’t she have told me Damon was her uncle?
I pushed the bottle of tequila in Steve’s direction. I was done drinking for the night. Now all I wanted to do was get some answers.
Should I wait until the morning after everyone has had time to cool off? Pushing the subject tonight might make things worse than they already were.
Would anything I do or say at this point make any difference?
Chapter 45
Baden
I pulled up to Crystal’s home to a shit show of reporters camped out on the streets. Her father was a lawyer and most likely had the police issue restraining orders requiring the paps not to have access to his property.
Their only option left them standing in the street outside the gates leading up to the main house.
I waved to the security guard as I walked up to his station.
I shoved my hands in my front pocket and nervously rocked on my heels.
“Hey, any chance of me getting in there tonight?” I sheepishly asked, turning red with embarrassment. I had no doubt that all of Byron's staff were aware of who I was and what to do with me if I had the nerve to show up.
“She’s not here.” I looked up to see Damon walking down the pathway towards me.
“I need to talk to her, Damon. I need her to understand what happened.” I never thought I would be begging Damon for anything. But I would if it got me to Crystal.
“Chrissy knows exactly what happened. I explained our history. I think you need to give her time to process it all, Baden.” He turned and began to walk away.
His statement about how he explained our history had me confused. “How the fuck did Crystal not know about our history, Damon? Why the hell had you not told her about our past?”
Damon spun around and pointed his finger at me. “You want the truth, Baden?”
“Of course I want the fucking truth, Damon. Tell me, what the fuck did I miss?”
He stood behind the gate, smirking at me. “We were in France when we saw the headlines about rock’s hottest couple, Crystal Divine and Baden Dogger. Jen and I laughed it off, took bets as to how long it would last.” Damon pushed his long hair out of his face. “Fuck,” he laughed. “When Jen and I got back this afternoon, Nadine told me Chrissy was bringing you to our family Christmas Eve celebration. I went to the community center looking for you.”
“You and Jen?” I never bothered to find out what happened to them after the day I found my girlfriend in my best friend’s bed. I walked away and never looked back.
“Yeah, me and Jen,” he confirmed.
“Why the fuck did we not know you had a sister?” Damon came to live with the Foster’s when he was ten. There was a brief time during his teenage years that he had contact with his mother. However, he had never mentioned having any other family.
“Sister’s,” Damon corrected. “Long story short, I didn’t know I had any until five years ago either.” He walked closer to the gate. “It wasn’t like I was proud of my past and I sure as fuck didn’t discuss it with my nieces or nephew.”
I shook my head. I had no idea where to go from here. If I was going to be involved with Crystal, that meant having to see Damon and Jen on a regular basis. Maybe Damon was right, and everyone needed a little time to process everything that was going on.
“Are you clean?” I knew it was none of my business. However, Crystal loved her uncle, and I had to know what kind of influence Damon was going to have on her decisions.
“Been clean for years, with Jen’s help.” I could see it took courage for him to admit that. I took a second look at him. He looked good. Like the Damon I remembered before the shit hit the fan.
“I love her, man,” I declared, not afraid to express my emotions. “I need to make this right for her even if she never forgives me.” She didn't deserve what I did to her today any more than what Steve Grey did to Christmas Davies. Shame and embarrassment squeezed in my chest over my actions.
If it hadn’t been Damon… Were it another man, would I have stopped and given her the chance to explain? Would she talk to me if I agreed to anger management? It was instrumental that she understood why I had jumped to the conclusion that I had.
“I know you wouldn’t tell me even if she was here, but can you tell her I love her?” I knew I was grasping at straws. It was Christmas Eve. I hoped my actions didn’t have her spending it alone instead of with her family as was their tradition.
“You don’t need me to tell her that, Baden,” Damon pointed towards the paps. “You have the entire nation at your disposal. Instead of perpetuating the incident, use it to rectify the mistake you made today.”
Fucking paps, always around to get you at your weakest moment. Damon was right. If it was a story they wanted, then why not give them one that would help my situation for a change?
I gave Damon a nod and headed straight for the pack of reporters all shouting for a comment or a picture. I looked around, seeking out the one who would be most effective in sending my message.
“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I suppose everyone is here hoping for a bit of juicy gossip or another unfortunate photo of me doing something incorrigible,” I began as everyone jockeyed for prime real estate at the front of the line.
I flashed my Bad Dog smile to the young reporter with the video camera.
“First, let me begin
by stating that Crystal Divine is one of the most talented, respectable, beautiful and resilient artists I have had the pleasure of getting to know while on tour these past few months.”
The paps kept clicking their cameras in my face. Some were going old school and putting pen to paper. Most had turned on cell phones or recording devices.
“What I did today was immature and irresponsible, and should in no way reflect poorly upon anyone but myself. I reacted on impulse. It was brash and unjustified,” I stated with much bravado, taking responsibility for my poor judgment that led to this situation.
It didn’t take long for the questions to come hurling at me.
Were things over between Crystal and me? Was she having an affair with the man in question? What motivated the fight?
I put my hand up, signaling for everyone to stop talking at once. I waited until the dull roar was nothing more than whispers.
“The altercation that took place today between myself and Damon McGraff was of a personal nature that had nothing to do with Crystal Divine.”
“You referred to her as Christmas Davies, do you care to elaborate on that, Bad Dog?” I wanted to wring that reporter’s neck. I didn’t need anyone reminding me of what major dick I was today.
“Crystal Divine is a stage name. As I am sure you are all aware of the personal relationship between Christmas Davies and me, why wouldn’t I call her by her given name?” That should appease them.
“What did you mean by sloppy seconds?” Shit, how in the hell do I explain that without dragging everyone involved down with me?
“The only important thing here is that Crystal Divine was in no way responsible or involved in today’s altercation. As I told you, it was a personal matter between myself and Mr. McGraff.”