Daddy's Little Secret

by Rose Marie

“Daddy huh? Damn Josh you got it like that? Diana if he Daddy, then you need to be calling me Big Daddy.” Diana rolled her eyes and smacked his chest.

  “Hush.” We stand there talking for a bit until Sean pulled her away kissing on her neck. That was my cue to get Layla to the car and have this dreaded conversation. I drive us to our usual spot, D’s Diner, and we sit in the parking lot. They were closed for remodeling so we had some privacy right now.

  “I don't have much time today Daddy, my mom only went out for a bit. At best I have two hours, so lets hurry,” she said trying to climb onto my, lap but I stopped her. I wasn't going to have sex with her. I needed to tell her what I did, and I need to get tested first. If I had something, I would never risk her health just to cover a lie.

  “No Layla, not right now. Let's just talk.” She smiled at that, raising a brow.

  “Talk? Aren’t you leaving next week? We’ll be doing nothing but talking this whole summer.” I make an I’m serious face and she frowns confused but sits back. “Okay, but can I still sit in your lap? I missed you and I want to be close to you.” Perfect. She’s fucking perfect, and I don’t deserve her, but God please let her forgive me. I pull her to me, setting her snugly upon my lap and kiss her head. We sit like that, just talking for a bit, and multiple times I opened my mouth to tell her what I did, but each time my throat closed up, making me unable to utter the dreadful story. Not only that but Layla, being one to always get what she wants, started grinding on me and getting us heated, so we ended up dry humping in the car.

  Unfortunately, we spent most of the time doing that and I never got around to telling her by the time I had to drop her off. When I got home, I had to dodge my mom who was freaking out because she saw the video of Greenly and I. When my dad got home it was the first time in my seventeen years of being on this earth that he’d ever yelled at me the way he did. I was told that he would be having conversations with school to make sure I wasn’t expelled and that he’d do the best he could to get the video to stop circulating. He stormed out then came back in and told me I’d be leaving for my grandparents’ house this weekend, so if I had anything I needed to do I had until Saturday to do it. He also told me I’d be going to the clinic to get tested. When he walked out the room after that he didn’t come back, and I was forced to sit in silence thinking about my terrible actions.

  The next morning, my dad drove me straight to the clinic to get tested and told me results would be back in three business days. When my dad and I left the clinic, I got a full on lecture about the sacrifices he had to make for me to have everything I have, and how I needed to be more responsible. While he was still lecturing, I went to check the school’s summer vacation page when my phone started ringing. He stopped talking, allowing me to pick up since it was Aaron.

  “Sup?”

  “Dude, you okay? The video is everywhere now.”

  “I’m cool. My dad said he’ll handle it. I have to write an apology, though.” He sighed on he other in and I could hear him shuffle around in the background.

  “Well that’s a relief, but you know she's going around claiming you both are a couple.”

  “A couple of what?”

  “A couple of dummies, you idiot! Boyfriend and girlfriend!” He shouted making me pull the phone from my ear.

  “I doubt they’ll believe her. Didn’t you say she’s always messing around? She did more damage to herself than to me, if you think about it.”

  “You’re right on that. Everyone is talking about her because you told her to do kegels,” he laughed. “Anyway, have you told Layla what happened?”

  “No, I just left the clinic with my dad. I'll tell her tonight.” My heart skips a beat at my declaration.

  “You’re doing the right thing. I hope everything works out.” When we hung up my dad told me to go over to Greenly’s to talk with her then we pretty much drove the rest of the way in silence. After we get home, I get my keys and do exactly as my dad tells me and head to Greenly’s.

  When I get there go up the front door, and knock, no answer. I hear noises in the back, so I go around, undoing the back gate in the process only to stop in my tracks at what I’m seeing. I quickly pull out my phone and walk slowly and quietly, getting close. When I’m close enough I do the slow clap.

  “Well, well, well…won't the school get a kick out of this?” Greenly and the man she was just giving a blowjob to jump up, separating.

  “What the hell are you doing Josh?” She asked while wiping her mouth and eyeing my phone. I ignore her and turn my attention to the man who was sitting there looking stunned and ready to pass out.

  “Hey coach! What a surprise to see you here on this fine summer morning. I just saw the beautiful picture Mrs. Harmon posted of Lilly and Joan on the school summer vacation page. Your wife and two elementary school daughters said they were waiting on you.” I smile holding up the picture so he can see I wasn’t lying. He flushed with embarrassment then horror at what I say next. “Anyway, I came here to get you to delete that video from the party, but I think I'll just put THIS video out in-“ Greenly stood up cutting me off, about to protest until coach stepped in zipping his pants.

  “DELETE THE DAMN VIDEO LIKE THE BOY SAID!” She pouted then goes to her phone, deleting it.

  “There aren't any additional videos, right? You’ve already screwed me enough with the fifteen second one.”

  “No, now delete the fucking video already.” She sneered.

  “Thanks, loose pussy.” I hold up my phone and pretend to delete the video, when actuality I never record anything.

  “See you at football camp, coach.”

  When I get to the house, I’m unable to escape my mom this time and get tears, disappointed shrieks, and sadness from her. After the three-and-a-half-hour woe is my son fucked up speech, she tells me that she put off me going to my grandparents house until I talk with the school and write a letter to my fathers business association. That sucked because that made me want to see Layla, and of course I had no choice but to tell her then.

  I decide to tell her when I get my test results back since I wanted her to have a peace of mind if she decided to stay with me. With that said, the wait time for those results was stressful and painful. When I got the results back though, I exhaled with a sigh of relief that I was clean. But my throat clogged up, because I now had to do what I promised to do. I had to see Layla, and since her mom her mom was at work this was my opportunity to tell her face to face like she deserved.

  With shaking hands, I grab my papers stating I’m clean and head off to see the girl who changed my life for the better. When I pick her up, I go to our spot and now I’m sitting here sweating buckets, because I was about to possibly lose the girl I love over a drunken mistake. First though, I want to give her something that showed my love.

  “P-Princess?” She looked over to me and smiled with pure adoration.

  “Yes Daddy?”

  “I love you... so fucking much. And since we’re coming up on six months being together, I wanted to give you something before I miss the opportunity. You know since I’ll be gone and all.” She turned to me just as I pulled out blue velvet jewelry box I’d had in my pocket and opened it. Her gasp told me she wasn’t expecting it, and her wide eyes, which shone with tears, showed me her appreciation.

  “Josh! This is… what is this?” She asked staring at the heart shaped diamond ring.

  “Do you like it Princess?” I could barely get the words out because I didn’t want her to know I was dying inside.

  “How can I not? It's beautiful.”

  “I’m glad it’s a promise ring. It signifies that I promise to love you and…” and what? What other promises can I make aside from this one? Thankfully, she cuts me off with a kiss then sits back, holding out her right hand. With my heart pounding in my chest, I grab her left hand, sliding it on and thinking how good it looked on her. “It's a promise that one day Princess you'll be mine for real.”

  “But I'm-”

&
nbsp; “I cheated,” I blurted out. She looked more stunned than when I pulled out the ring.

  “What?”

  “I- I said I chea-“ and before I could finish my statement, she hauled off and slapped me so hard my ear started to ring. With no other words she snatched the ring off, throwing it in my face. Before I could say anything, she shoved the car door open and started walking. I grab the ring that had conveniently landed in my lap and went after her. “Layla, wait! Let me explain!”

  For someone so short, she walked fast because she was across the parking lot so fast, to the point I had to run. “Princess! For the love of God, please stop!” I jogged up to her. When I reached for her arm, she tried to slap me again, but I dodged it. “Layla I was-” this slap was harder than the last and connected more so with my ear than my cheek so my ear popped, and I was forming a major headache. “FUCK!” I scream, grabbing my ear. It was throbbing so much I thought it was bleeding. “WRONG OR NOT, YOU HIT ME ONE MORE TIME, I’M SPANKING THAT ASS!”

  “Fuck you.” She walked off. I groan, running again to catch up to her.

  “Princess, wait! I was drunk and I thought she was you.” She didn’t say anything, just walked away from me. “Princess! Princess, please turn around and talk to me.” She just kept walking. That's when I felt my eyes burn and my breathing hyperventilate. “Layla, I’m sorry.”

  She just kept going. Not once looking back, not for my pleas, my tears, or my pain. She didn't even care for my explanation. In a fit of desperation, I run back to my truck, get in and driving up to her.

  “Layla, let me take you home. I'll leave you alone after that.” Nothing. Not a peep, not even a look in my direction. I couldn't stop the car and force her in; I was in the hood and I'd get shot. A white guy forcing a black girl into his car? Yeah fucking right. I’m already risking a lot following her like I’m some creep. I follow her the whole way home with the hazards on, and once she made it to her apartments, I parked ready to try again.

  “Princess, please don't do this. At least let me explain.” She finally stopped but didn’t turn to look at me. “I love you so much. I didn't do it on purpose. I was drunk.” Still silence. Frustrated, I grab her left hand to turn her to face me, but she snatched her hand away. Again, I grab her and she tries to snatch it away one more time, but I don't let her. Prying her fist open, I put the promise ring on her finger, holding onto her and praying she’d listen, but she doesn’t. “As I said before, it's a promise.” She pulled her now balled up fist away from me and stormed off and could only watch tears streaming down my face as she climbed the stairs and disappeared.

  “Fuck up again, white boy?” Trey asked with a smirk looking pleased. I knew he liked her but at this point, I didn’t care. I only nodded my head and got in my truck feeling sorry for myself. At least she kept the ring.

  Everyday, I tried calling and texting her. Unfortunately, I couldn't go to her apartment because I was at my grandparents’ house. I stupidly thought she’d have come around by now but after a month of no returned calls or texts, I knew she was really done with me. Still, I called and text her everyday just in case just decided to give me another chance. She didn’t.

  I only focused on spending time with my grandparents on both my mom and my dad’s side and football. Outside of a few people, no one else was talking about the video anymore. I studied for my SAT’s. I didn't fuck around or party; I was done with that. That one bad experience was enough for me.

  Now that summer break is about to be over can’t help but think about how I haven’t seen or heard from Layla in over two months. I’m mentally at an all-time low, though no one would ever know it because I put up a happy front. The only person who really knew how broken up I was about losing my Princess was Aaron. Since I ‘m back in town he asked me to meet with him for some shopping, and though I didn’t want to I still do just to take my mind off of my misery.

  At the mall I get out of my new truck my dad purchased me for my senior year gift, then through the mall looking for a cool place to wait on Aaron. I go into a shoe store only to stop in my tracks.

  “Hello! Welcome to-” at seeing her my heart is about to explode.

  “Princess.” I breathed out, but she blanched and swallowed, and her smile slowly turned into a frown.

  “Is there anything I can help you with today?” She repeats, ignoring me.

  “Uh yeah,” I said turning picking up five random shoes. “Do you have these in a size thirteen?” She looked me up and down and then averted her eyes.

  “All of these?”

  “Yes please.” She made a face then took one of each shoe.

  “Excuse me for a second. I’ll bring them right out.” It felt so good to hear he voice. I'd buy everything in this store if it kept her talking to me. When she came back, I got her to help me try on some shoes as many shoes as I could. I wanted to monopolize her attention.

  “So, do you work all the time now?” I casually asked trying to get her to talk to me about something other than work. She turned her eyes on me as if she were debating if she wanted to answer my question.

  “Couple nights a week, why?”

  “I was just curious if you'd be willing to go on a date with me this weekend?”

  “Josh, I…. I can’t. I'm seeing someone.” To say my heart shattered would be an understatement. I think she saw it too because she looked away.

  “Oh, you are?” I croaked trying to stop the tears that where already threatening to fall.

  “I am.”

  “Th-that's cool… I… I’m actually seeing someone too.” She looked up surprised.

  “Oh you are?”

  “No, I only said that to make you jealous. I’m sorry. I did nothing but think about you all summer. I still only love you. I only want you. And I still think you’re my Princess.” I stand to avoid making this situation more awkward and look at all the shoes she helped me pick out. “I'll take all of them. Thank you.” It was just in time too, because Aaron had just walked in. She helped him pick out just as many as me and rang up our things. She’s not wearing the ring.

  When Aaron and I go to leave, I look back to see her smiling and laughing with her co-workers, unbothered by my presence at all. I lost my Princess. The rest of the mall trip was uneventful because all Aaron would talk about is this girl he met at science camp.

  “Bro she’s gorgeous. I seriously think it was love at first sight. Jayla will make the perfect Princess but she’s so mean. It’s okay though because I’ll tame her real good. Or I would if I wasn’t scared of her. Did I tell you she punched a guy for slapping her butt?”

  “Yes, Aaron you’ve told me six times already.”

  “Well did I tell you he said the punch was worth it?” Throwing my head back, I roll my eyes and let out a giant sigh.

  “I’m going home.” He only chuckled.

  “Yeah let’s go. I was getting bored of walking around with your depressing ass anyway.” Flicking him off, I get in my truck and drove home. I throw the shoes in my closet, not in the mood to put them away, and sit on my bed. I grab my phone from under my bed go to my messages and type out one last reply to my Princess.

  Josh: I wanted to send you this one last message and I'll leave you alone. I want to let you know that I love you so much and that you are always on my mind. I want you to know I think about you everyday and that you and your love made me me so happy that now without it, it feels like a dream. I was wrong for what I did and it was extremely selfish of me to make an excuse for it and not take accountability for my actions. You gave me everything you had and even allowed me to be completely selfish with you. Not only that but you let me be me. I regret my actions every day because I threw everything you gave me away like it was nothing. I’m sorry for not appreciating what I had, and I’m sorry for never TRULY apologizing for what I did. I am sorry every day, every hour every second for hurting you. I love you Layla and even though you moved on you'll always be my Princess.

  P.s. You'll always have the k
ey to my heart

  Forever yours,

  Daddy

  When I press send, I closed my eyes to will my damn tears away. It’s over. Just as I was about to power the phone off, I got a text.

  Princess: Pick me up from work?

  Josh: COMING!!!

  I had my keys and wallet in hand and was running through the house to my truck in a flash.

  “Joshua Gates! Slow down!” My mom yelled, but I was already shutting the front door and in my truck. When I pull up to the mall, I parked in front of of the entrance she said she’d be coming out of so she could see me clear as day. When she came out and got in the truck, I waited, not wanting to pressure her or run her away. Did she just need a ride home? Or did she want to talk? I was okay with either of those scenarios because they put me in her presence.

  “Let’s go to D’s Diner. I want to treat you for the commission you and your friend helped me get today.” That left me dumbfounded.

  “Treat me? As you want to pay for me?” She looked at me nodding and for that I had no other questions. I just did as she asked. When we got there, Carman sat us down and as always Ms. D gave us our food without us even having to order. From what Carman told us after we came back it meant she liked us and we were tied to good fortune. I didn’t believe it, but it was nice to be liked and she always hit the nail on the head with the food she gave. As we ate, neither of us said anything the whole meal. When Carman brought our cake, I decide to break the ice by grabbing her hand knowing if I didn’t, I’ll never get another chance.

  “I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hurt you and broke your heart. I'm sorry that I took you for granted and…” I choked up. “…what I did was wrong.” She sets her fork down and looks away then back at me.

  “You really hurt me.” She sniffled and I died a little at her tears.

  “Princess, I wish I could take it back. I’m sorry, I swear I’ll never do it again. Please forgive me, please take me back.”

  “You can't take it back Josh.”

  “I kn-“

  “You can't! But just like you, I wish I could stop fucking loving you. I can't. I've tried! I pick up my phone at least fifty times a day wanting to return your calls or texts, but I don't. Not because I don't love you, but because I love you too much. I love you so much you see me as weak, and some plaything you can just fuck up and fuck over at your will.”