by Rose Marie
I roll my eyes as I pull out my phone to text my friend Jayla. She started a new school and I missed her. Since her mom married some rich white guy she was living the high life, but I’ve known her forever and she’s one of my closest friends. She’s a bit rough around the edges so I’m worried about how those rich people were treating her. After I send the message, I’m unsurprised by her call coming through because she hated texting.
“Hello?”
“Hey what you doing? Waiting around on that bum ass nigga again huh?” Of course she’d go there. I put her on speakerphone, getting up.
“What are you doing? Have you made any new friends?”
“Yea I met this cool chick her name Sydney. She cool peeps but she…”
“What’s wrong, is she a bully?” I hated bullies.
“No its not that it's just that… She’s obsessed with a demeaning ass nerd fuck wad. I hate him. He treats her like a damn dog and she seems to get off on that stupid shit. Like just recently he came into school and she was talking with me and a few of the girls we hang out with. He walked right passed us and whistled. Lay do you know what this heffa did?”
“Uhm she went?”
“YESSSS SHE WENT… RUNNING! And with a big ass smile on her face. That little nerd bastard just pulled her to him and kissed her neck. Ugh Im-“
“Jealous?”
“BITCH IS IT CRACK? IT’S GOTTA BE CRACK YOU’RE SMOKING.“ I throw my head back and laugh.
“Don’t hate because your friend probably getting that pussycat petted and you got coochie cobwebs. If you wasn’t so mean you could be getting dicked down too.” Jayla ol’ mean ass.
“Whatever. Why would I want a man who treats me like a dog?”
“So I’m guess you talking about me?” She always did this. “Why do you care how my boyfriend treats me if I’m happy with it? I’m not as naïve as you might think I am. I know that Josh probably isn’t being completely honest with me, but to be honest I don’t care. Our good days outweigh our bad. He makes me feel beautiful. He makes me feel special. He makes me feel like a Princess.”
“Well if being treated like a Princess means putting my complete faith in nothing ass niggas like that bum boyfriend of yours and that weird nerdy bum Dustin, I want no parts of it. Y’all can have that and them. I’ma sit on my throne and wait for my King who will treat me like the Queen I am. Not some boy who act like he my damn Daddy.”
“Mmm hmm, sure you right, with yo single ass. For someone who’s so happy to be single you sure is analyzing our relationships a bit much, don’tcha think? If you so happy to wait for your King, then gone on ahead.”
“Anyway what you have planned this weekend?”
“Nothing. Im just chilling at home you?”
“Nothing I’m going on a family trip with my stepbrother Aaron who is a pain my fucking ass. I can’t stand him. OH CRAP, I forgot Sydney invited me over her boyfriend’s house. You know the nerdy bastard that I was telling you about? The three of them are having a party!” I get comfortable in bed and purse my lips.
“Three? She dipping in more than one dude?”
“That’s the shit I was calling to tell you. So apparently, she got two fucking boyfriends. I haven’t met the other guy because he already graduated, but girl she told me they best friends and they all sleep together. In. The. Same. Bed! Can you believe that shit? I’m out here single and shit, and she getting double dick and living with them because some shit happened with her mom. This is just too much white shit for me.” She laughed.
“Well damn, I need to meet them!”
“Witcho ol freaky head ass. I haven’t forgotten what you told me you and your bum dude did in his truck in the movie parking lot.” We laugh and talk for an hour or two more until Josh beeped in.
“Pretty Princess you miss me?” Heart skipping a beat I bite my lip to stop the smile from crossing my face.
“Hey Daddy. You know I did. Did you miss me?”
“You know I did. I miss you so fucking much. I can hardly wait to come pick you up.”
“Speaking of, what’re we doing?“
“Nothing really, I just want to relax with you.”
“Really?”
“Really! Just you and me relaxing.” I hear the phone rustle on his end as if he’s moving but when his voice comes through its so clear and strong. “You know Princess. I might lose my way from time to time, but I do love you. I’ve honestly never loved someone as much as I love you. Right now, things aren’t perfect because shit I have a lot of responsibility on my back. I have a lot riding on me being perfect you know. I have a lot of people I’ll let down if I stepped outside of the box, but you make me not care. You make me happy and if I had the choice in this I’d chose you.” Bullshit.
Was it sad that I knew our time was coming to a close? Was it sad that I knew he wouldn’t keep his promise and he’d leave me again for whatever secret life he was keeping from me? Yeah, it was but what was even more sad was the fact that I didn’t care. I wanted him for as long as I could have him. I love him that fucking much. He owned me in every sense of the way. Just like I owned him.
“Daddy?”
“Yea Princess.”
“I love you.” His low chuckle reverberated through my body.
“I love you too, Princess.”
*~*
The ring he got me sparkled in my room light it was so pretty, but even still as I look at my ring I’m angry because he was supposed to had been here by now. I look at my phone again getting frustrated because there’s no missed calls are text messages. What the heck was he doing? Ugh. He always does this. I get up from bed and stomping down my steps looking down the street for his truck.
“Wuz good mama you looking fo’ yo’ white boy?”
“Yeah has he drove by yet Trey?”
“Nah I told yo pretty ass the last two times you came down here. He late but he’ll be here. White boy always comes through.” He’s just saying that because that’s his homeboy now.
“Whatever. His ass better come through here quick before I-“
“You not gone do nothing and you know it.” Drop stepped up to me real close so that our bodies where touching. He was fine as hell and sexy as all get out, and normally being close to him would leave me hot and tingly, but I felt nothing. “See you so gone over white boy you don’t even want me no more. Don’t even miss me slipping through those windows and bussin’ it open huh?”
“No. I don’t miss it.” I would never tell Josh that Dro and I had a thing or that I lost my virginity to him and he’s the one who taught me what I know. They’re cool now and I respect him for keeping the past in the past… for the most part.
“Its all good because I approve of Josh, he takes care you. He makes you happy and treats you like you deserve but know this, if you need someone I’m always here for you Lay.” I smile and wave at the other guys and head back upstairs.
In my room I check my phone to finally see a message from Josh.
Daddy: Hey, Princess, you still up?
I roll my eyes because he’d know this if he were here.
Princess: Yes, I thought you were coming over…
Daddy: I know… I was, but something came up! I'm sorry, Princess… I'll make it up to you. I miss you.
Princess: How you expect to make this up to me? This has happened countless times before. I just don't know if I can do this anymore.
Bet that scare him straight
Daddy: Baby don't be that way. I'm sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll be over later. Leave the window unlocked for me.
Ugh I freakin loved this boy so much.
Princess: Fine. You better be glad I love you. I'll see you later Daddy.
Throwing my phone on the desk I shower and unlock my window. My mom wasn’t here tonight, so that left us plenty of time since she always comes home late. She told me tonight was the last night though because she’s moving on from the past and wanted to start having a brighter future. I felt bad
for her because it seemed love the man she’s seeing. He seemed to make her really happy. He made her smile and glow with a light I had never seen her have before. Now she just looked like a part of her was gone. So I’m glad she’s done. I’m tired of seeing my mom depressed and tired of hearing her in the middle of the night cry for a man named Jonathan. I prayed that she found closure one day.
Getting into bed, I start drifting off when I hear my window slide open. Right away his sweaty scent mixed with his expensive cologne fills the room leaving me breathless and happy. I couldn’t believe we’d been doing this a year and a half now. I couldn’t believe that I was this in love and this happy. When he doesn’t move towards me, I decide to say something to let him know I’m awake.
“So now you finally wanna show up?” He stepped close to the bed and kissed my neck.
“I told you I was sorry, Princess. I had something to do today. Forgive me?” I turn and finally and opens my eyes gutted by what I see. This is it. He’s going to break my heart again.
And sure enough he did, only leaving me with some fucking gifts and a damn letter that explained nothing.
These past few weeks have excruciating, because not only am I depressed, but so is I my mom. Two women walking a a small apartment was enough to drive anyone crazy so I just had to get out the house.
At the park sitting on the picnic table I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Someone is watching me. I turn and see a white man coming toward me. He looked VERY handsome. As he got closer I had to frown because of his unbelievable resemblance to my da- uhm Josh is remarkable.
“Layla Williams?”
“Who are you?” Chuckling, he did a half smirk and right away I wanted to cry. Who was this guy? He looked so much like-
“I’m Jonathan Gates, Joshua Gates’s father. Nice to meet you.” He holds out his hand but out of shock I don’t take it. Gates?
“Wait I know a Joshua, but his last name isn’t Gates its –“
“Trust me, its Gates. My son lied to you everything from who his parents are to his net worth. He’s the sole heir to a multibillion-dollar corporation and he was sent off to college a couple weeks ago which is why I’m here today.” You could have knocked me over with a feather at the way this man was being so blunt. “Shocking I know! Not anymore shocking than the fact that I’ve been secretly dating your mom behind my wife’s back.” Okay right then I did fall quickly, though he picked me up and it was like memories flooded right to me.
I knew this man. He was- he was the nice man who took mom and I away after my dad touched me. He.. I blink back tears I and push him away.
“Let me go!”
“I’m sorry, Layla.” He held his head down as if knowing what I was thinking about as if knowing that I’d immediately hate him.
“You- You lied to me. You lied you said you’d never leave my momma. You said you’d take care of us and that you loved us. You said-“ choking I grab my chest at the last promise. “You said I’d have a brother who’d protect me and treat me like a Princess.” I whispered thinking about Josh and everything that was supposed to happen.
“I’m sorry I wish could have kept those promises. I’m sorry-“ I hold my hand up not wanting to hear anything else. It was too much. It was too much to think about the possibilities and the outcomes of everything that could have either went right or wrong had those promises been kept. More importantly, my mom has been seeing a married man.
“What do you want? Why are you here? You and your son are nothing but a bunch of liars.”
“I haven’t lied. I’ve always tried my best to do right by you and your mom, but sometimes things don’t go as planned. Sometimes you have to sacrifice yourself to get things done. I’ve talked your mom on many occasions about allowing me take care of you both or at least move but she never would. Things between your mother and I and you and my son are way too complicated to say the least. They aren’t things that either of us can resolve right now. Its going to take some time before I can do what I need to do to keep those promises to you.”
“What are you talking about? Those promises are already broken.”
“They aren’t. I still love you and your mom. I still want to protect you both.”
“But Josh… he-”
“No buts. This isn’t about Josh; this is about righting some wrongs on my part. Josh has his own battles to deal in his life right now. If I get involved and try to sway him, history might repeat itself. That’s that last thing I want. I want you both to be happy, whether that’s together or individually. If you want, I can give you his address and number so you both can work t-”
“I don’t want that.” He stopped and looked at me.
“You don’t want to make up with Josh?”
“He left. Its his loss I’m not fighting for someone who will just run away from me.”
“He just need-”
“I don’t want it. For once I want him to choose me. For once I want him to say forget everything and say Layla, you’re worth giving up everything. You and your son are cowards. You’re blinded by the stupid shit in life while you have women pining after you who’s willing to drop everything just to be with you. It makes us dumb. We’re the only ones who are willing to go the extra mile to make you all happy when all you think about is yourselves. You made my mom cry. You made her hate herself and all you can say is sorry and you need time? Well, fu-”
“I KNOW! I FUCKING KNOOOW I’M A SCREW UP.” He broke down crying then. “ I know, but I can’t lose my son. I can’t lose Josh. She’ll take everything, including him. For the life of me I’m trying to be a good unselfish man and let your mother move on, but just the thought leaves me dead inside. I love her, but I at this moment I cannot put her above my son, she knows that. But God, this sucks.” He sat on the bench crying and I sat next to him pouting.
“It’s a mess isn’t it? All this is an absolute mess.” I tell him patting his back. He chuckled and my gut tightened thinking about my Josh.
“Yes, it is.” He wiped his eyes and we just sat there in silence.
“So you’re my mom’s secret boyfriend?”
“Eh. I wouldn’t say boyfriend. She never let me save a title; she said I didn’t deserve one.” Giggling I nod.
“That sounds like my mom. She’s always telling me I don’t deserve control over the remote.” I look over to him and see a smile that looks identical to his son’s when he’s looking at me.
“I love her, and I want her back. Unfortunately, I can’t do that until Josh graduates from college and I hand the business over to him. Any sooner and his mom gets damn near every red cent I’ve worked so hard for. Since we married before everything went down with your mom, I’m obligated to act right. I was an idiot and didn’t sign a prenup. Infidelity is damn near grounds to leave me penniless. I don’t want to put your mom in a situation where she’ll be the talk of the country AND broke.”
“But we’re already broke so whats the difference?” He outright laughed then.
“Well Layla, money can’t buy you happiness but it sure as hell can buy you some privacy and a island just for family and no paparazzi.” I raise a brow and make a face.
“I see you’ve thought this through.”
“Oh yeah. By the way I want to apologize for my son’s behavior. His mom is compulsive and strict. I don’t for a second think he wanted to leave you.” I shrug unbothered.
“Don’t bother me.” He chuckled again.
“God you’re so much like your mother. You will be good for Josh.”
“I don’t want to talk about him.” I turn away not wanting to cry.
“Ok fine I get it. How about we talk about your future then.”
“M-My future? Outside of my mom wanting me to go to college I never thought about it because of cost.” To my surprise he grabbed my shoulder pulling me to him. He kissed my head and tears welled in my eyes because this the same thing he did when protected me from my dad all those years ago.
“You
are better than that. Nothing wrong with being uncertain, but you need to at least be thinking about your future. You’re a junior in high school, so we can start planning early. I’ve had the honor of watching you grow up. I know you are capable of more than you think. You have a bright future ahead of you.” He paused and sat up a little. “I’ll help you little Princess. Don’t worry everything will work out. I promise.” I wipe my eyes, sniffling.
“You’ve already broke so many promises.” He smiled sadly.
“Yeah, I know, but this is one I’m determined not to break. Can you trust me once more time please?” Something told me to trust him, so I do. Nodding, I take his extended hand. When I left him that day, he promised again I’d hear from him. I of course thought they were lies, but the following week, I got a Fedex package in the mail.
In my room I open the package and see a card.
Dear Little Princess,
Thanks for making my son happy. I look forward to when I can call you Daughter.
You and Josh deserve happiness. Work on yourself then tell me when you’re ready. I promise to lead you to him no matter what.
P.S. Let’s not repeat history.
Jonathan Gates
In the box I see an envelope. Opening it, my mouth drops open. It was an acceptance letter to a private tutor and other things to expand my education including the option to learn a second and a third language. I set it down, open the next envelope, and squeak when I see money, debit cards, and checkbooks along with a passport. There was another card and when I flip it open I could help but laugh a little.
I told you money can buy some kinds of happiness. ☺
Laughing, I decide to be done moping. I was taking my future in my own hands.
I worked my ass off, I graduated top of my class, and focused on me and only me. I did everything I said I was going to do until I got that text message ten years later.
My Biggest Fan: He proposed. You really gonna let him go?
