Queen of the Owls

by Barbara Linn Probst

  Elizabeth braced herself to say the last and hardest thing. “But they don’t need how we are together. It’s not good for them. They need to see what it’s like for a man and a woman to love each other.”

  She wasn’t prepared for the swell of tears, big and bright. Somehow, she hadn’t thought she would cry. She tried to blink them back but there were too many, falling too fast.

  “You really think it’s that simple to break up a family?”

  Elizabeth wiped her cheek with the back of her hand. “It’s not simple at all. But we have to.”

  She knew it was hard for Ben to believe she was doing this. It was the surprise, that’s all, and the upheaval. It wasn’t as if he couldn’t bear to lose her.

  And yet there was a shared sadness, surrounding and uniting them. She could feel it; she was sure he could too. As if they were closer, in this terrible moment, than they had ever been.

  His eyes glistened, his tears matching hers. “I’m sorry, Liz. I’m sorry we couldn’t do better.”

  “We will do better,” she told him. “Only it will be a different kind of better.”

  Elizabeth let the big oak door to the Humanities building hiss shut behind her as she stepped out into the winter afternoon. The trees were covered with a layer of snow, lace against a cobalt sky. The air was clean and cold.

  Dr. Crawford. That was her title now. Her defense had gone smoothly, no last-minute challenges from the panel that faced her across the conference table, just as Harold had promised. They had asked her to wait in the hall while they conferred and then, as was the custom, they had called her back into the room. Harold had given the official benediction. “Welcome to the Academy, Dr. Crawford.”

  She wondered what Georgia would have thought about her dissertation. Had she gotten it right, about Hawaii? The committee had declared her argument sound, her scholarship solid, but that didn’t mean she was right. Only Georgia could have told her that.

  Then she had to smile. Georgia would never have responded to that sort of question. “Look at the paintings,” she would have said. “Let them speak for themselves.”

  Elizabeth made her way down the steps, along the path that bisected the quad. Ahead was Founders’ Lawn. She remembered how she had yearned for the balletic grace she’d seen in the people doing Tai Chi on the grass, all those months ago. Her vision had been of something that could move inward, becoming hers—the possibility of watching, learning, and then doing it herself. Now she understood. Grace began from the inside, radiating outward.

  If it hadn’t been for Tai Chi, she wouldn’t have met Richard.

  Thankfully, she had.

  The afternoon, surrounding her, was lit with its particular beauty, the sunlight glittering on the branches, the fine white mist of snow that rose up as she walked. She wove from tree to tree, reveling in the luxuriant pleasure of swinging her arms, moving her legs.

  She thought of what O’Keeffe had written to Stieglitz, from Hawaii. My idea of the world had not been beautiful enough. In Hawaii, Georgia had seen that her vision was too small, despite everything she’d accomplished up till then, and had dared to go beyond it.

  Elizabeth stopped at the edge of the path. There was one more thing she had to do. She took her phone out of her messenger bag, swiped through her contacts, and tapped the first one on the list. A, for Andrea.

  The photos of her were coming down. She had kept an eye on Ventana’s website, watching to see when Richard’s new series of people on the brink of movement would take their place. The new exhibit was slated to open, finally, on Monday. Today was the last day her image would be on display.

  Elizabeth opened the door to the gallery and held it so Andrea could enter first. It was her third visit. The first time she had been alone with the photographs. The second time she had brought Ben, who didn’t understand. This time, she was with her sister, who might.

  Andrea spent a long time in front of each photo. Then she turned to Elizabeth, her eyes shining. “They’re absolutely beautiful, Lizzie. Like you.”

  Elizabeth’s throat filled with emotion. She didn’t know the name for what she felt, but it didn’t need a name. What mattered was the experience itself.

  “You know,” Andrea said, “you’ve always been lovely. The only one who didn’t know that was you.”

  Without stopping to think, Elizabeth opened her arms, and Andrea stepped into them. The movement was effortless, natural, like Tai Chi. “I love you, Andie,” she whispered.

  “Well, duh.” Andrea squeezed her, then stepped back and grinned. “I knew that. That’s why I decided not to be pissed off at the way you kept nagging me to take a business class.”

  “I shouldn’t have—”

  “No, it’s okay.” Andrea’s grin widened. “I signed up for Small Business Management 101. It’s dry as the Mojave, but oh well.”

  “You really did?”

  “I did.”

  Elizabeth smiled too. “You’ll do fine. You’re smarter than you think. I just acted like I was the only smart one.”

  “Eh.” Andrea waved a hand. “We each had our role.”

  “Back then.”

  Andrea’s face turned serious. “You think we still do?”

  “Maybe. But we’re more than that. Each of us is more than that.”

  Elizabeth felt the truth of what she’d told her sister. Her own knowledge, not something she’d read in a book.

  She turned around, slowly, and looked again—one last time, before it disappeared—at the final picture Richard had taken of her. Her whole body, adorned with nothing but itself, arms spread wide, face open and full of light.

  Reader’s Guide Questions

  1. Did Richard use Elizabeth? What did you think of his declarations about consent and ownership of one’s art? Did Elizabeth have the right to demand that he take down the photographs?

  2. A turning point for Elizabeth is when she finds the theme for her dissertation and thus no longer “needs” to pose in order to understand O’Keeffe. She decides to pose anyway. Do you think that her motive for posing actually changes in that moment, or was that her real motive all along? Might she have more than one motive, whether she was aware of it or not?

  3. What do you think of Elizabeth and Ben’s marriage? Were you hoping they might work things out? What would have it taken for that to happen? At what point did you begin to know that it wasn’t going to happen? Do you think Elizabeth tried hard enough?

  4. Elizabeth juggles many roles, among them wife, mother, sister, and academic. How well do you think she fulfills each of them? Does her understanding of each role change over the course of the story?

  5. Do you think O’Keeffe was a feminist? What role does feminist art play in the novel?

  6. Various groups—from the early art critics to the later feminists— have told stories about who O’Keeffe was and what she stood for, although O’Keeffe repudiated all their attempts. Do you think Elizabeth understood something important about O’Keeffe, or did she make up her own story about O’Keeffe, to suit her own needs?

  7. At the end of the book, Elizabeth is offered various narratives to elevate or explain what she did. Ultimately she decides to embrace and enact the narrative she wants. Do you think a person can live without some sort of narrative? What does it mean to live an authentic life?

  8. Naomi, a student in Elizabeth’s class, declares that an artist ought to put herself out into the world, the person and the art together, inseparable. She goes even further, stating that professors—as teachers and scholars—ought to embody what they believe. How far would you take this principle? Which characters in the book live what they believe? Is there a cost for doing that, or for failing to do that?

  9. Elizabeth states that Georgia O’Keeffe was searching for what it means to be a woman—which, of course, she herself is also doing. There are many female characters in the book. In their physical descriptions, how are hair and clothing used to convey aspects of being a woman?

  10. E
lizabeth wants to tell her young daughter to be everything. “Anything less was wrong, the same as being nothing.” But Andrea, her sister, believes that you have to find out the one thing you are, and are good at, and just be that. How do these two attitudes or premises play out in the story?

  11. At the end of the novel, Elizabeth states that: “The committee had declared her argument sound, her scholarship solid, but that didn’t mean she was right. Only Georgia could have told her that.” Then Elizabeth chides herself and decides that Georgia would want the paintings to speak for themselves. Do you agree? Does a work of art benefit from interpretation by others? Do you think artists always know or can analyze their influences and intentions?

  12. Early in the book, Elizabeth states that she wants to find “her own Hawaii.” Do you think she did? If so, at what point in the story? Where?

  Acknowledgments

  I had the good fortune to have two brilliant and generous mentors during the writing of this book. Kathryn Craft guided me through its early stages, when I was searching for my story and finding my way. Sandra Scofield pushed me to go further—and further still—until the book grew into what it was meant to be. Boundless gratitude to these wise teachers.

  And huge thanks to Brooke Warner, Crystal Patriarche, Tabitha Bailey, Lauren Wise, Julie Metz, and the loving community of She Writes sisters who shared this journey with me.

  Thanks also to others who helped along the way:

  Theresa Papanikolas, formerly of the Honolulu Academy of Arts, curator of the exhibit of O’Keeffe’s Hawaii paintings at the New York Botanical Garden, who shared her insights into O’Keeffe’s work.

  Cody Hartley, director of Georgia O’Keeffe Museum in Santa Fe, New Mexico, who graciously answered my endless questions, and Tori Duggan, research associate, who made a wealth of material available to me at the Georgia O’Keeffe Research Center.

  Sylvia March, who shared stories of her mother’s 40-year friendship with O’Keeffe and her own “lunch with Georgia.”

  Teri Goggin-Roberts, the first one to understand that Elizabeth had to face the photos alone in the gallery.

  Kay Scott and Dianna Sinovic, early readers whose insights into what the book still needed were exactly right.

  Maggie Smith, for her unwavering support and belief in this project.

  Tom Steenburg, whose patience, love, and respect gave me the space I needed to bring Elizabeth’s story to life.

  Selected Bibliography

  Georgia O’Keeffe’s Hawaii Paintings

  Jennings, P. & Ausherman, M. (2011). Georgia O’Keeffe’s Hawaii. Koa Books: Kihei HI.

  Papanikolas, T. (2013). Georgia O’Keeffe and Ansel Adams: The Hawaii Pictures. Honolulu Museum of Art: Honolulu HI.

  Papanikolas, T. & Groarke, J.L. (2018). Georgia O’Keeffe: Visions of Hawaii. Prestel Publishing: New York NY.

  Saville, J. (1990). Georgia O’Keeffe: Paintings of Hawaii. Honolulu Academy of Arts: Honolulu HI.

  O’Keeffe and Stieglitz

  Buhler Lynes, B. (1989). O’Keeffe, Stieglitz and the Critics, 1916-1929. University of Chicago Press: Chicago IL.

  Burke, C. (2019). Foursome: Alfred Stieglitz, Georgia O’ Keeffe, Paul Strand, Rebecca Salsbury. Knopf: New York NY.

  Greenough, S. (Ed.). (2011). My Faraway One: Selected letters of Georgia O’Keeffe and Alfred Stieglitz, Volume 1, 1915-1933. Yale University Press: New Haven CT.

  Pyne, K. (2007). Modernism and the Feminine Voice: O’Keeffe and the Women of the Stieglitz Circle. University of California Press: Berkeley CA.

  Georgia O’Keeffe, Art and Life: Books

  Barson, T. (Ed.) (2016). Georgia O’Keeffe. Tate Publishing: London UK.

  Castro, J.G. (1985). The Art and Life of Georgia O’Keeffe. Crown Publishers: New York NY.

  Corn, W.M. (2017). Georgia O’Keeffe: Living Modern. Prestel Publishing: New York NY.

  Cowart, J. & Hamilton, J. (1990). Georgia O’Keeffe: Art and Letters. New York Graphic Society: New York NY.

  Grasso, L.M. (2017). Equal Under the Sky: Georgia O’Keeffe and Twentieth-Century Feminism. University of New Mexico Press: Albuquerque NM.

  Robinson, R. (1989). Georgia O’Keeffe: A Life. University Press of New England: Hanover NH.

  Georgia O’Keeffe, Art and Life: Articles

  Boxer, S. New York Times, March 27, 2019. Book Review: “The Two Artist Couples Who Helped Start American Modernism.”

  Brenson, M. New York Times, November 8, 1987. Art View: “How O’Keeffe Painted Hymns to Body and Spirit.”

  Crisell, H. New York Times, July 6, 2016. Style Magazine: “A Collaboration Between Georgia O’Keeffe and Alfred Stieglitz, Captured over 20 Years.”

  Lahue, A. The Guardian, July 1, 2016. Art and Design: “The Wild Beauty of Georgia O’Keeffe.”

  Messinger, L.M. Metropolitan Museum of Art Bulletin, 42(2). Fall 1984. “Georgia O’Keeffe.”

  Perrrottet, T. New York Times, November 30, 2012. Travel: “O’Keefe’s Hawaii.”

  Tomkins, C. New Yorker Magazine, March 4, 1974. “Georgia O’Keefe’s Vision: The Painter Considers her Life and Work.”

  About the Author

  © David Heald 2018

  Barbara Linn Probst is a writer, researcher, and former clinician living on an historic dirt road in New York’s Hudson Valley. Her novels (Queen of the Owls and The Sound of One Hand, forthcoming in April 2021) tell of the search for authenticity, wholeness, and connection. In both novels, art helps the protagonist to become more fully herself. Queen of the Owls, Barbara’s debut novel, has been chosen as a 2020 selection of the Pulpwood Queens, a network of more than 780 book clubs throughout the U.S.

  Author of the groundbreaking book on nurturing out-of-the-box children, When the Labels Don’t Fit, Barbara holds a PhD in clinical social work and is a frequent contributor to the major online sites for fiction writers. To learn more about Barbara and her work, please see http://www.barbaralinnprobst.com/

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  She Writes Press is an independent publishing company founded to serve women writers everywhere. Visit us at www.shewritespress.com.

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