The Man I Thought I Trusted

by E. L. Todd

  “This stays between us, alright?”

  “Oh shit…” He dropped his arm from the back of the booth. “That doesn’t sound good.”

  “Should I worry about Carson? You know, with her job.”

  Charlie stared at me in silence, a deer in the headlights.

  “She ran into one of the guys she’s trying to lock up at the charity event last weekend, and I know she brushes off stuff like this and makes it a joke…but she seemed different, even days afterward. And there was one night she was tailing some guy at a club I was at, and he was about to punch her in the alleyway, but thankfully I was there.”

  He was stone-faced.

  “Never mind…I have my answer.” I’d hoped Charlie would tell me something to make me feel better, like they had the best security to look after them, but I knew that wasn’t true. Carson’s job was just as dangerous as I’d assumed it was.

  He continued to stare at me, helpless to say something to make me feel better.

  “What would happen if I asked her to stop?”

  “As in…quit her job?”

  I nodded. “Not necessarily quit. Just move into a different department. Do something less dangerous.”

  He gave a long and drawn-out sigh. “Unlikely. She worked really hard to move up the ranks and get this position. There’re not a lot of women who have been promoted this high, and if she steps out, she’ll see it as an insult to all women.”

  “It’s not insulting. It’s not even about gender. It’s dangerous to anyone who does it.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “What about you?”

  “What about me?” he asked.

  “Are you in the same boat?”

  “No,” he answered. “I have some high-profile articles, but not at her caliber.”

  “And if you could, would you do it?”

  “Uh…” He gave a long shrug. “I really don’t know. I’m almost thirty, and I’m hoping to settle down so…maybe not.”

  Charlie thought this way, so why couldn’t Carson?

  “I always remind her that the article is never worth her life. That nothing is worth her life. But you know how she is…”

  Fearless.

  “I don’t think you’d accomplish anything by asking her to step down. It would probably just put distance between you. So, you’re just going to have to accept it if you want to be with her. I know that’s hard, but…”

  I couldn’t accept that. “I don’t care if she’s a workaholic who cares more about her job than anything else. I just want her to be safe. Why can’t she work at Runway like in The Devil Wears Prada or something?”

  His elbows moved to the table as he chuckled. “Wow, I could not picture Carson doing that.”

  Me neither.

  “You guys are finally together, so I would just leave it alone.”

  “We’re together—for now.” I rubbed my jawline as I sighed. “But I don’t want to be together just for now. I want to be together forever. I told her I want her to be my wife, to have a couple kids with her. How is that possible when she’s out there risking her neck, going head to head with corporate criminals? When she’s hanging out with the mob?”

  “Yeah. I get it.” He gave a slight nod. “In life, things change, priorities change. Maybe in time she’ll feel differently as your commitment changes. I know she’s stubborn, but she’s also realistic. And I know how much she loves you, so if it gets to that level, I’m sure she’ll reevaluate. Who would pick a job over the love of your life, you know?”

  “Well…I feel like our commitment is already changing.”

  “Yeah?” He set down his beer and examined my expression. “As in…you do want to ask her to move in?”

  When we met, I wasn’t even ready for a serious relationship, which was obvious by all the lies I told. Having a fake apartment for my hookups was pretty indicative of my mental state. But once the truth was out, everything was different. She was the one thing I wanted more than anything, and my money didn’t mean anything to her. I wasn’t worried about the past repeating itself. All I wanted was to be happy, and she made me really happy. I wasn’t ready—and now I was ready for it all. “Yeah. I do.”

  14

  Carson

  I left the building with a folder of paperwork slipped into my computer bag. I had a source that was able to give me all the documentation to outline the money trail, to find out who their manufacturers were. All I’d have to do was get a couple guys on record, and I’d have the smoking gun.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket.

  I immediately answered it in my typical reporter fashion. “Carson.”

  His smile was audible in his tone. “Dax.”

  “Oh hey,” I said excitedly. “Sorry, I just finished up with an appointment, and I’m in my crazy journalist mode.”

  There was a long pause, almost like he hadn’t heard what I said. Then he ignored it altogether. “Wanted to see if you wanted to get dinner. I just left the office.”

  “I am hungry…but what’s new?”

  He chuckled. “What are you in the mood for?”

  “Maybe a burger or something. Is that cool?”

  “Sure.”

  “Have you been to Mega Shake?”

  “Mega what?” he asked, chuckling slightly.

  “They’ve got these greasy-ass burgers and these super creamy milk shakes. How do you not know it? You’ve lived in Manhattan your entire life.”

  “I guess I didn’t hang out with the cool kids. I’ll meet you there.”

  “Alright. See you soon.” I hung up and walked quicker because I was a few blocks away, and I was starving. Minutes later, I walked inside the joint and spotted Dax sitting in one of the booths in his ultra-expensive suit. He looked totally out of place—but still sexy.

  He slid his phone into his pocket and rose to greet me, having that sexy shadow along his jawline. He smiled slightly, but his eyes shone much brighter than his mouth, like seeing me was the highlight of his long day. “Hey, sweetheart.” His arm circled my waist, and he leaned down to kiss me.

  I melted at his touch, loving the affection in his lips, loving the way he loved me without even saying it.

  He pulled away but kept his arm around my waist. “What’s good here?”

  “Step aside. I got this.” I walked up to the register, ordered food for both of us, and then handed over my card.

  Dax didn’t try to pay for everything all the time. He respected my desire for equality—and that was nice. He never made a stink about his being a billionaire and that the cost of food was literally cents on the dollar to him.

  We sat in the booth together with our sodas and listened to the cooks fry everything up.

  My computer bag was on the seat beside me against the window, and my ass sighed in relief now that I got to sit down. I’d been running around all day. “How was your day?”

  “You know…meetings.” His elbows rested on the table, his wrists slightly exposed along with his Omega watch. His brown hair was perfectly styled like he was ready for a public appearance on the Today Show. “It’s much better now.”

  I smiled. “I’m glad I’m more exciting than running a Fortune 500 company.”

  “Not too many women can say that.”

  I smiled again. “I’m not sure if I deserve that, but thank you.”

  “Oh, you definitely do. So, how was your day?”

  “Busy. I ran around everywhere.” I pulled my bag close to me and patted it with my hand. “But I got all the paperwork I need from a source to do some digging. I’ve got their manufacturers, so I’ll do a few interviews on the record. Pretty potent evidence.”

  He gave me a blank look before he nodded. “Sounds like you’re making progress.”

  “I’m doing double time. Gotta stay ten steps ahead.”

  Now, the energy at the table was totally different. His affection was long gone, his eyes no longer soft and glued to my face. He turned away and stared across the restaurant, at
nothing, really.

  I glanced at the cooks and saw them creating our trays of food. I turned back to Dax, who still wasn’t looking at me.

  The guy brought the trays over then walked away.

  I grabbed a couple fries and put them into my mouth.

  He didn’t touch his food. Instead, he stared at it like he’d lost his appetite.

  “Did I say something?” He’d taken the sunshine away, and now I was freezing cold.

  He stared down for a long time before he grabbed the edge of his tray and pushed it to the side.

  When he did that, I lost my appetite too.

  “I’m just going to be candid with you right now.” His hands came together on the surface like he was in a meeting and I was a difficult client. “Because I don’t know how else to handle this, and you seem to respond to bluntness.”

  “Okay…” We were happy, like, two seconds ago, and now it was tense.

  “I want to ask you to marry me.” He stared at me with that hard look, his statement aggressive rather than romantic.

  I stopped breathing because I couldn’t believe what he’d said, right in the middle of Mega Shake.

  “But I can’t do that if your professional focus continues. I want to do whatever is necessary to make you happy, but I’ll never be happy knowing you’re sticking your neck out like this every single day, that you’ve got a target on your back everywhere you go, that you’re in the top ten most dangerous professions in the world. I just can’t.”

  I didn’t expect him to dump that on me like this.

  “Charlie told me to keep my mouth shut and just be happy right now, but I can’t. Because I want to be happy forever, not just now. When I said I wanted you to be my wife, I meant it. This isn’t just a relationship to me. I can’t have my wife putting herself in danger, not when I love her more than anything. And I want kids with you. We haven’t talked about this and I know it’s premature, but I really want that. So…”

  I dropped my gaze, my heart beating so hard. “You’re dumping me…”

  “No.” His quiet voice had a hurt tone.

  I looked at him again.

  “I’m telling you that I want to marry you, and if I ask…would you be willing to make this compromise? I don’t care if you’re a workaholic and you want to remain devoted to a career. I can take a step back at work and take care of the kids so you can pursue your dream. That’s not a problem. I will support whatever you want to do, and we’ll make it work. But…it can’t be dangerous like this. There are lots of other respectable kinds of journalism you can do that aren’t dangerous. Is this something you’re willing to do…to be with me?”

  He’d unloaded the heaviest question I’d ever been asked. Normally, my answer would be an instinctual no, and I would walk out of there without looking back. But I really loved this man, and I didn’t want to lose the greatest thing that had ever happened to me.

  He waited for me to give him an answer, his features tight like he anticipated I would say no.

  “Can I think about it…?”

  His eyebrows immediately rose, as if he couldn’t believe what I’d just said. His hands tightened together on the table as he tensed. “Yes. Take all the time you need.”

  We sat there together and stared at each other, the sound of the cooks in the background, our food getting cold on the table.

  His watch clanked against the table when he moved his wrist. “I expected you to just say no.”

  “That sounds like an answer I would give.”

  His eyes turned soft again, the affection returning. “Just the fact that you’re willing to think about it…means a lot to me.”

  Charlie stood at the kitchen counter, the hot pan sizzling as he prepared dinner. He must have heard me walk inside because he said, “Chicken kebabs.”

  “Already ate.” I dropped my bag on the table and pulled out the paperwork I had secured that afternoon.

  “What did you have?” He turned around to look at me.

  “Mega Shake.”

  “And you didn’t bring me anything?”

  “I know you don’t eat shit all the time like I do, so I assumed you would pass.” I took a seat and pulled out my laptop so I could get back to work. Whenever I was down, that was what I usually did, threw myself into work.

  Charlie stared at me for another minute before he turned back to the stove and finished cooking.

  I looked through the paperwork and made my notes.

  Charlie carried his dinner to the spot across from me and took a seat. “You seem down.”

  “Just a little…overwhelmed.” Dax had just dropped a ton of bricks on my shoulders, and I hadn’t recovered from the event.

  He glanced at my paperwork as he took a bite and chewed. “I told you to hand it back to Vince if it was too much for you—”

  “That’s not the problem.” I set my paperwork down and looked at him. “Dax told me he wanted to ask me to marry him.”

  His mouth was full of food, but he stopped chewing, his cheeks full. It seemed to be too much effort to chew it and swallow it quickly, so he just spat it out into a napkin so he could respond fast. “What?”

  “But he said he didn’t think he could…if I continue this line of work.”

  Charlie ignored his dinner altogether and let it get cold because this conversation was more important than a hot meal.

  “He said he just worries about me, and he doesn’t want to worry about his wife all the time, for his kids to worry about their mother all the time.”

  “Jesus, he came on strong, didn’t he?”

  I shrugged. “A bit.”

  “So…” He looked at me as if he expected me to finish his sentence. “What does that mean? Did you guys break up?”

  I shook my head. “No. I just said I needed to think about it. He basically gave me an ultimatum. He can’t be married to a woman who’s always in danger. He loves me too much to suffer through it. I get it.”

  With his arms on the table, he stared at me.

  “So if he asked me to marry him and I say yes…that means I agree to move into another discipline of journalism.”

  He looked at me with new eyes. “I can’t believe you would even consider it.”

  My eyes narrowed on his face.

  “Not in a bad way. That’s just not something you would normally do, which means you really love this guy.”

  I gave a nod. “I do.”

  “Wow…” He sank back into his chair and rubbed the back of his head.

  “There were a couple other things he said that changed my attitude about it. For one, he said he didn’t mind if I wanted to be a workaholic for the rest of my life. He would take a step back at work and be the caretaker for our children. How many men would say something like that?”

  He shrugged. “Not many.”

  “And he said he would be supportive of my career, no matter what, that we would make it work. He’s never asked me to stop working because he’s a billionaire who can support me. He gets me. He understands that my career is important to me.”

  “Yeah, he’s a good guy.”

  “So, can I really throw that away for a job? Because a guy like Dax isn’t going to come around again.”

  He shook his head. “You’re right. He’s one of a kind.”

  I didn’t immediately explode with my feminist verbiage when he’d asked me to make a compromise because he’d offered to make compromises too. He agreed to be the primary parent so I could chase my dream, and being a full-time dad was not something most men fantasized about. And his requests didn’t stem from his need to control me or make me do what he wanted. He just wanted to keep me safe, and I couldn’t lie and say my job wasn’t dangerous. It could be really fucking dangerous. “I think I’m going to tell him yes.”

  Charlie looked at me with brand-new eyes, as if he saw me as a whole new person. “I think that’s the right answer.”

  My job was important to me, but my professional track record had already establishe
d my credibility and commitment. Life wouldn’t always stay the same. It changed, and you had to change with it. Now, I had a man who had become part of my family, and it would be really stupid to risk losing that for a job. Yes, it was important to me, but at the end of the day, it was just a job.

  He was worth a lot more than that.

  Charlie smiled. “Ready to go back to the Lifestyle section?”

  I rolled my eyes and released a loud sigh. “I’ll die before I do that.”

  He chuckled. “You’ve had a great career at the New York Press, so I’m sure you can get a job at any other magazine or news outlet that you want. Dax even told me he wishes you would work for a fashion magazine like in The Devil Wears Prada.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I couldn’t write about shoes all day. I could buy shoes all day, sure. But I don’t have much to say about them.”

  “I’m really proud of you. Instead of shutting everything out, you’re letting things in, you’re being human again. It’s really nice to see.”

  I knew I had changed so much, that the moment Dax walked into my life, I started to heal from the past. Without him, I wasn’t sure if I ever would’ve made it to this place. “Yeah… It is.”

  15

  Dax

  I couldn’t believe she’d said she’d think about it.

  This was Carson we were talking about.

  She didn’t give up territory for anything.

  But she actually considered it…for me.

  It made me feel just as good as if she’d said yes. It made me feel important to her, that I was just as significant in her life as her friends. I’d moved into the inner circle, becoming more than just a boyfriend to her, but family.

  That was the greatest compliment I’d ever received.

  A week passed, and I didn’t bring it up to her. She came over to my place some nights, and the others, I went over to hers. We talked about anything but the one thing we were both thinking about. That was okay with me.

  I got to the gym with the guys, and we warmed up with a couple shots, running around with our shirts off and working up a sweat. When Carson walked in with her friends, I immediately abandoned the court and walked over to them.