Those Summer Nights

by Ivy Smoak

  He shrugged. “I have a younger brother. My parents are still together. I'm boring. I've always done everything I was expected to do. And that's why I'm here this summer. I feel like this is the last time I'm going to know what it feels like to make my own choices."

  "Your job can't be all that bad."

  "I just have to sit there all day behind a computer screen. The whole day will be gone by the time I get home. I like to be outside. I don't want to forget what it feels like to have the sun on my skin. I'm dreading it. I feel like my life is ending." He laughed. "Now I'm the one being dramatic."

  I smiled at him.

  "Maybe I should think of this summer more like you do. I need to figure some things out too. And every day my mom keeps bugging me, reminding me that I need to get some work-appropriate clothes. I don't even know where to go for something like that."

  "I can come with you if you want. There are some outlets really close. It'll be fun."

  "Actually, that would be really great. What are you doing tomorrow?"

  "I'm a weirdo with no friends. What do you think I'm doing? Just kidding, I do have friends. Well, one friend here. The girl I mentioned the other night does actually exist."

  He laughed. "I never doubted that she did.”

  “Oh.” Drunken me was great at jumping to conclusions. “Good.”

  His smile was contagious. “So, do you want to go tomorrow?"

  "Sure. I need to buy a few books anyway, so it'll be good to go shopping."

  "What was Twisted Love about?" He gave me a mischievous smile. He must have heard about it. Everyone had heard about it.

  "It's a romance. It's just a really sweet story."

  "Mhm."

  "Clearly you already know what it's about. And I didn't finish it. I haven't exactly been in a romantic mood this past week."

  "Well, maybe you can finish reading it now."

  His sentence hung in the air. He had a new job starting in the fall. And I'd be flying back to California. But he was still flirting with me. Or maybe he was just being funny.

  Regardless of his intentions, I found myself wanting to be flirtatious back. He had called me a sexy weird girl earlier. Compliments were nice, even if they were only half nice. And his words had given me a surge of confidence. It felt like ages since someone looked at me the way he was looking at me. I stood up and pulled off my tank top.

  "What are you doing?" he asked.

  "I haven't been in the ocean in a week. I need to be wet."

  He started laughing really hard.

  Why did I choose that phrase? A normal person would have said they wanted to go in the water. I decided silence was the best response. If I explained myself it would just end up getting worse. I was the queen of word vomit when I was around him.

  Finally he spoke again. "But it's getting dark. Aren't sharks out at night?"

  "I don't know, you're the lifeguard."

  "I'm pretty sure they feed at night. And I'm worried that they might be as attracted to you as jellyfish are."

  "So you can watch out for me. Isn't that kind of your job?" I started to unbutton my jean shorts.

  "During the day..."

  "Oh my God, are you scared of sharks?"

  "Who isn't scared of sharks?"

  "But you're a lifeguard."

  "I'm still a person."

  I laughed. "You don't have to come with me." I pulled off my shorts and tossed them onto my towel.

  He stared at my legs and then quickly stood up. "Well I kind of have to. I need to protect you from everything that wants to bite or sting you." He pulled his shirt off, revealing his perfectly sculpted torso.

  That was the sweetest thing anyone had said to me in a long time. I smiled at him. "I'll race you."

  He didn't say anything. Instead he started running.

  "Hey!" I ran as fast as I could after him and into the water. "Oh my God, it's so much colder at night!" I said after I came up from a wave. I grabbed his arm as another wave came crashing down. He pulled me against his chest so I wouldn't get crushed. His hand was pressed firmly against the small of my back.

  "Shit it's cold," he said.

  "It is.” But I wasn’t cold. His hands on me felt warm. I felt myself pulling even closer to him. And even though the water had settled, he kept his hand on the small of my back.

  "Okay, you made me come in, so it's kind of your job to keep me warm." He grabbed my thigh and brought it up to his waist.

  I lifted my other thigh and crossed my legs behind him.

  Both his hands drifted to right under my ass.

  No, I was definitely not cold. My body felt like it was on fire. "Better?" I asked. My voice came out weird, and I hoped he couldn’t tell how much I loved being in his arms.

  "Much better." He looked down at me. His Adam's apple rose and then fell.

  Oh, he can tell. Despite everything we had just talked about, I wanted him to kiss me. And it seemed like he wanted to kiss me too. But he just stared at me with his perfect blue eyes.

  I wasn’t sure what felt better, his eyes on me or his hands holding me against him. Who was I kidding, it was the hands. They were so close to…my mind suddenly took a weird turn. Was he a butt guy? Was he going to want to Thanksgiving turkey me? Stop ruining the moment! Now that my mind was racing it was hard to stop, though. He didn’t look like he’d be into anal. But what do guys who are into anal look like anyway? For some reason I was thinking bald. Probably everywhere. Luckily he broke my dirty train of though.

  "Are you wet enough now?" He raised his left eyebrow.

  I was. In more ways than one. "Are you?" Again with the weird voice. I cleared my throat, trying to rid it from neediness.

  He laughed. "Yeah, and I'm frozen. I can't feel my legs." But he didn’t move to get out.

  It was like we were locked in a trance. And if either of us broke it, we could never go back. He didn’t do long distance. I didn’t have time to focus on a relationship, I needed to focus on myself for once. And yet…I didn’t move to get out either. I could have stayed like that forever. I liked the feeling of his hands on me. And I liked being so close to him. "Then let's get out." For a second, I didn’t realize who said it. But from the disappointment on his face, I knew it was me. My brain was sensible, even though my body was absolutely not. I reluctantly unclasped my hands from around his neck.

  He looked down at me as he let go of my thighs. "Yeah, let's get the hell out of here before we get eaten by sharks." He grabbed my hand and we ran together out of the water.

  Even though it wasn't cold outside, we were drenched in the icy water and there was a constant breeze coming off the ocean. My lifeguard picked up the towel before I could reach it and wrapped it around himself.

  How rude. "Stop hogging the towel." My teeth were chattering.

  He spread out his arms. "We can share, I guess."

  I laughed as he wrapped it around the two of us together. The side of my face was pressed against his chest. He smelled like sunscreen, sweat, and saltwater. He smelled just like summer. Kristen was going to be so proud of me for finally figuring out what he smelled like.

  I wrapped my arms around his torso. His back was so muscular. I kept my hands completely still and tried to absorb this moment. Maybe I wrong about what I needed. Maybe I was ready for another relationship. He was so nice and handsome. And he actually listened to me. I liked him. I liked him a lot.

  "It's getting late," he said.

  He didn't feel the same. I quickly unwound myself from him and the towel. I must have imagined the disappointed look on his face earlier. But it didn’t feel like I could just be imagining the chemistry between us.

  "Yeah.” I looked around for my clothes that he’d dumped into the sand. “I should get going." I grabbed my shirt off the ground.

  "I'll walk you home."

  I was about to protest, but then I realized I didn't want to. I wanted to spend more time with him. "That would be really nice."

  He pulled his shi
rt back on and I quickly pulled on my shorts. I could feel his eyes on me as I zipped my jean shorts back up. I looked up at him but he quickly looked away. He ran his hand through his wet hair. Everything he did was so sexy.

  I grabbed my bag and he draped my towel over his shoulder. We made our way back up to the boardwalk. We were both silent. I began to wonder if he was thinking about me the same way I was thinking about him. It was complicated. Maybe it was too complicated. We turned off the boards onto a quiet sidewalk. My place was only a block away and before I knew it, we were there.

  "That's me." I stopped and pointed down a driveway.

  "It's so close to the beach. You're really lucky."

  Unlucky circumstances had brought me here. But I felt so lucky tonight. I smiled at him.

  "What time do you want to go shopping tomorrow?" he asked.

  "Do you want to go after lunch? Maybe around one?"

  "Sure, I'll pick you up then." He stood there for a second, looking at me. He put his hands in his pockets. "Okay then. Goodnight, Jellyfish Girl."

  "Wait." I reached out and grabbed his arm.

  He stepped back toward me. It looked like he wanted to kiss me. Maybe he wanted me to make the first move. We had both basically agreed that we couldn't date. He was being respectful, but I wished he’d cut it out.

  It took all my willpower to not stand on my tiptoes and run my hands through his wet, shaggy hair. I realized I was awkwardly staring at him. "What's your name? I'm tired of referring to you as my lifeguard." Shit! "I mean the lifeguard. The. Not mine. You're not mine. I know that people say that in an endearing way sometimes, but that is not at all what I meant. Because I didn't mean to say it at all. Besides...I mean...you can't own people. I definitely just refer to you as the lifeguard. Like the lifeguard for all the people at the beach. And sometimes hot lifeguard when I’m talking about you with Kristen." Why am I still talking? “Not that I talk about you a lot. Or at all.” Shut your face, Mila!

  He smiled down at me. "So you think I'm your lifeguard, huh?"

  "No. It was just a classic case of the word farts." Word farts? What the fuck am I saying? I bit my lip.

  "I kind of like that you refer to me as your lifeguard." He shrugged his shoulders. "You can just keep calling me that."

  "But..."

  He took my towel off his shoulder and draped it behind my neck. My heartbeat quickened. I thought he was going to pull me in for a kiss. But instead, he dropped the ends of the towel.

  "I'll see you tomorrow, Jellyfish Girl," he said and walked away.

  I’m in so much trouble.

  Chapter 7

  Friday

  There were butterflies in my stomach as I unlocked my door. I knew I shouldn’t have them, but I couldn’t help it. And even though we were supposed to just be friends, I didn’t even want them to disappear. I wasn’t even sure I could get rid of them if I wanted to.

  He liked when I called him my lifeguard. It felt like that meant he liked all my idiosyncrasies. That he liked me just the way I was. The butterflies started flapping around even more. I smiled to myself as I pushed the door open. Tonight was just what I needed.

  The door slammed into something hard on the other side.

  “Ow! Son of a bitch!” Kristen fell with a thud and sprawled out on the floor, blocking my way in. “Why did you hit me?”

  “Were you spying on me?”

  “Don’t flip this around. I think you broke my whole body.”

  I tried not to laugh as I helped her to her feet. “That’s what you get for spying.”

  “I wasn’t spying.”

  I just stared at her.

  “It just so happened that I was looking through the peephole at the exact same time you and douche bag dick wad were standing there.”

  “And who’s the stalker now?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Sue me. And speaking of suing…you’ll be hearing from my lawyer about all the broken bones in my body. I’m basically a professional athlete! My bones are precious.”

  “Did I actually hurt you?” I wasn’t at all afraid that she’d sue me, but I didn’t want her to be in pain. And I definitely didn’t want it to my fault that she didn’t make the cut for the U.S. volleyball team.

  “Yes.” She waved her hand in front of her face, torso, arms, and legs. “Everywhere.”

  Dramatic much? “I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t sound sorry. But I guess I won’t sue you if you tell me what the hell you two were doing together? I couldn’t hear properly through the door. I could have sworn you said word farts.”

  If only that hadn’t happened. I was in too good of a mood to care though. I laughed and walked past her and into our apartment. “He came to the ice cream shop to talk to me. He even brought a pizza since I missed out last week. We ate on the beach and…”

  “I know. I had to order in because you abandoned me without any warning.” She stuck out her bottom lip and motioned to the Chinese takeout boxes on the coffee table. “But if the next thing out of your mouth is that you two made out under the stars, all is forgiven.”

  I wish. I think I wish? God, I don’t know. I shook my head. “No, we didn’t kiss. We talked and went for a swim. He apologized about the other night. It was just really, really nice.”

  “Nice? You have to give me a better adjective than that. And more details. Did you hold hands? Did you skip first base and go straight to second?”

  I thought about his hands precariously close to my ass. There was no way I was going to have this conversation with her. I had a bad feeling it would just go straight into talking about anal. And I was done thinking about that. Besides, tonight felt…personal. I didn’t want to spill all the details. I wanted to bottle them up and keep them forever. What could I say to distract her from prying questions? “Well, I know what he smells like now.”

  “Oh…you were close enough to get a good whiff of him? Does he smell as amazing as we thought he would?”

  Even better. “He smells just like summer.”

  “So…like…sweaty?” She made a face that squished all her features together.

  I laughed. “No. Well, kind of, but in a good way. It was a mix of sunscreen, sweat, and saltwater. It was intoxicating. We hung out after he had worked all day, so it was ocean goodness.”

  “Now we have to find out what he smells like when he cleans himself up properly.”

  “Okay?” What was with her and male aromas? I liked how he smelled after work. I really really liked it. Probably too much for my own good.

  “I guess this means you don’t want me to kill him anymore?”

  I shook my head. “Definitely not.”

  “So you’re going to date?”

  “No. I think we’re going to try to be friends, I guess.”

  “That was a weird sentence.”

  I shrugged. “What? Why?”

  “I think. I guess. Try. You’re going to land straight in his bed for sure.”

  “Not going to happen. He doesn’t do long distance.”

  “And summer doesn’t end for two months. Right now you’re super close distance. Why not take advantage of that for as long as possible? A sexy summer fling never hurt anyone.”

  I laughed. “I’m focusing on myself, remember?”

  “And just imagine how good you’d feel with his dick in you.”

  So freaking amazing. I should have been reprimanding her, not daydreaming about the possibility of what she’d proposed. “You know what I mean, Kristen. I need to figure out my major. And figure out how to run for more than ten minutes at a time without feeling like I’m dying.”

  “All of which you could do together. Besides, I’m sure he’s great at running. Doesn’t he have to run in slow motion every day as a lifeguard? He could teach you how to do that.”

  I laughed.

  “And I wasn’t watching you guys for very long, but girl, it looked like he was going to go in for the kiss for a second there. I’m not sure the two of you are on t
he same page.”

  “Of course we are.”

  “Mhm. So when he said he was going to see you tomorrow…that’s not another date?”

  “We haven’t been on and are not going to go on any dates. We’re just friends.” But he had actually admitted going to Grottos was a date. And tonight certainly felt like a date. I glanced toward my closet.

  “Are you thinking about what you’re going to wear tomorrow?”

  “Maybe…”

  “Then it’s a date!” She squealed. “Want me to help you pick something out? Oh, I have an idea! Tell me where you’re going and I’ll try to get a good view of wherever you are and I’ll text you great advice the whole time.”

  “It’s not a date. So I don’t need advice. And please, don’t ever ever do that.”

  “You’re no fun at all. At least let me help you find an outfit then. What are you two friends doing on your non-date? I feel like you’ll need assless chaps.”

  I stifled a laugh. “Promise you won’t show up?”

  “Sure.” She didn’t sound sincere at all. But I was also pretty sure she worked tomorrow. So even if she wanted to be creepy, she wouldn’t have the chance to.

  “We’re going shopping. He starts his fancy new corporate job this fall and doesn’t have anything to wear. And I need some new books.”

  “What you need is to kiss hot lifeguard.”

  “Yeah, well, maybe in my next lifetime.”

  “Or this one.” She pulled out a skimpy, sparkly red dress from her closet. “You’ll definitely get him to kiss you if you wear this.”

  “We’re going at one in the afternoon. I’m not wearing a party dress in the middle of the day. Besides, we’re meeting up after lunch. We won’t even be sitting down at a restaurant. I was thinking jean shorts, a tank top, and Keds.”

  “Huh. Maybe you are just friends. Because you literally wear that every day. You’re not even trying.”