by Ivy Smoak
"Shit." He snatched his license out of my hand and let go of my arms.
"Your name is Jaime Jamison?" I tried to keep a straight face.
"My name is J. J." He grabbed his wallet back as he kicked off the pants.
"I'm sorry." I bit my lip. It was such a ridiculous name. It was hard not to laugh.
"Yeah, my parents are the worst." He put his wallet back in the pocket of his shorts. "They're pretty much the only ones that know my real name."
"Your secret is safe with me."
"Yeah, I'm not sure about that."
"It is. You can trust me."
He looked at me for a second. "I do trust you."
"And I like the name J. J." I smiled at him. "It suits you."
He rubbed the back of his neck. He looked embarrassed.
"You know, you could name your kid Jaime Jamison Junior."
"Yeah, but I'm not an asshole."
I laughed. “And I wasn’t just laughing at your name. I was laughing because you were kind of holding me and your pants fell…”
He picked up a new pair of pants and pulled them on. He looked in the mirror as he tucked in his shirt. They fit perfectly. They were snug but not too tight. His ass looked amazing.
"So?" he asked and turned toward me as he tightened his tie.
"You look great. Very grown up. All you need is a belt."
He lifted the tie and pretended to choke himself.
"Oh, come on. You look really handsome."
He dropped the tie. "I do, huh?"
"You do."
"You know what? This shirt is actually a lot more comfortable than the other one. I think I'll just buy this outfit in a few different colors."
"Guys are so much easier to shop with than girls."
He laughed. "Okay, now get out of here while I change, you pervert. You're going to get us in trouble."
I laughed and exited his stall. I looked both ways before running out of the men's changing room. Maybe he was right about me. Maybe I was a pervert. It was pretty easy for him to convince me to go in the changing room in the first place. And then I’d basically just thought of his dick the whole time. It was like my body had a mind of its own. It was screaming at me to forget about being single. To forget about the promises I’d made to myself this summer. And the scary part was that I wanted to listen. Because J.J. was incredibly sweet and charming and so freaking gorgeous. Jaime Jamison was a pretty silly name, but J.J.? J.J. was exactly the kind of name I pictured him having.
I made my way over to the women's section as I waited for him. A blue dress caught my eye on one of the racks. It was the same blue as his eyes. I picked it up. The fabric was so light and soft. There was a peephole in the front that probably showed off way too much cleavage. It crisscrossed at the neckline and the fabric crossed again in the back, leaving most of the back exposed. It was really sexy. I flipped over the sales tag. And way out of my price range. I went to put it down.
"Try it on."
I looked up at J.J. "Oh, no. I was just looking."
"Seriously, try it on. It would look great on you."
I laughed and hung it back up. "I'd have nothing to wear it to."
He looked at the dress. "If you say so. Are you ready to go? I'm starving."
***
I took a bite of my hamburger. "This is amazing," I said.
"I told you. I can't believe you've never been to Red Robin before."
"They didn’t have any near SMU." Thinking about SMU almost made me lose my appetite. But the burger was so good that it was impossible to put down.
"Right." He looked down at his plate for a second. "Have you ever thought of transferring back east?"
That's what was going on. He thought there was a chance I was coming back since I told him how much I hated it. Is there a chance? "I don't know. It's probably easier if I just finished at the same school. Transferring credits is a nightmare. Isn't it?" I had heard that it was, but I wasn't actually sure.
"I wouldn't know." He took another bite of his burger. "But how bad could it be?"
I shrugged. He wanted me to stay. I smiled to myself. If I was being honest, I wanted to stay too. It wasn’t just as easy as changing schools and transferring credits, though. I had a scholarship at SMU that would go to waste. And I wasn’t sure what the deadlines were to apply for other schools. But I could look into it. The thought of going back to Cali was certainly less appealing than staying here with J.J. Not that it would be here. I doubted his job was anywhere near the beach. “Where is the job you took located?”
He finished chewing his last bite. It felt like it took forever for him to answer. “It’s in New York City.”
“Oh. New York.” I didn’t have to say NYC wasn’t my favorite, it was probably pretty clear from my voice. New York City was not on my list of places I ever wanted to live. I’d been there once in the summer and it was hot and sticky. And once in the winter and it had been snowy and smelly. In the city’s defense, I think their trashmen had been on a strike or something. But it still left a bad taste in my mouth. Literally. I thought about my mom’s house nearby. She was about three hours from NYC. This had to be at least half an hour more than that. “That’s pretty far from here.”
“Yeah.” He sighed in this adorable disgruntled way. “It’ll definitely take some getting used to. Especially after being here for the summer.” He pulled out his wallet.
I grabbed my purse to get my share of the bill.
He put down some money on the table. "I got it, Jellyfish Girl."
"But..."
"I have a really good job lined up for the fall. I got this."
"Have you ever thought of not doing it? The job, I mean." I locked my eyes with his. He’d asked me if I’d ever consider moving back here. And even though I didn’t specifically word it that way, I was trying to see if he’d ever consider changing his plans. If he’d ever think about moving to Cali. It was ridiculous, I knew that. If I came back to this area, I’d be moving home. If he came to California, he’d be moving there for me. And we barely knew each other.
"I think about it all the time. I know I'll end up doing it though."
"Why?"
"I need to eventually grow up."
The thought of growing up wasn’t at all appealing to me. "Maybe. But why work in an overpopulated city when I’m sure you could get a decent job doing the same thing right here?”
He smiled at me. The sound of thunder made me turn away from his intoxicating stare. A light rain pattered against the window.
"Crap, we have to go." He grabbed his bag of clothes and I grabbed my purse as we slid out of the booth. He took my hand in his and we sprinted through the parking lot, trying to ignore the drizzle. There was a small bag on the back of his motorcycle. He shoved his clothes into it and slammed it shut. He quickly strapped my helmet on and we both climbed onto the motorcycle.
I wrapped my arms tightly around his abs again. His shirt was damp and it made it even easier to feel his six pack. He sped away from the outlets and onto the road. Even though it was only drizzling, the raindrops hurt a little as they hit my bare skin. I held on to him even tighter. I didn’t want to ever have to let go. My thoughts were swirling with credit transfers and NYC. It was possible. I wanted it to be possible. Because as I held on to him speeding through the streets, I knew it wasn’t possible to just be his friend anymore. That wasn’t what I wanted at all.
I held on to him a little tighter, not wanting my day with him to end. But we were back at my place way too soon. He pulled into my driveway, cutting the engine. It was raining a little harder now and we were both completely drenched. He unclipped my helmet and grabbed my hand. We ran up the steps to my apartment door.
"Thank you!" I almost had to yell over the raindrops. I held my breath as he stared at me. Steam was coming off the driveway below. It made it look like we were standing in clouds. "This was the most fun I've had in a really long time.”
We both just stood there, staring
at each other. It was like he was waiting for me to do something.
But I didn’t know what to say. I could tell him that I didn’t know how to just be his friend. That I wished our paths in the fall aligned better. The rain started to fall faster. And all the words stayed lodged in my throat. All that escaped was, “J.J.,” when he took a step closer.
He grabbed both sides of my face and kissed me hard.
Holy shit.
He moved into me, pressing my back against the door. His hands slid to my waist.
I grabbed the back of his neck and deepened the kiss. It was everything I wanted and more. I moved my hands to the scruff on his cheeks. The tiny prickles of his facial hair on my palms made my skin tingle.
I felt his thumb dip beneath my tank top and trace the waistline of my jeans. His touch made my whole body feel alive. His other hand slid to my ass.
"Fuck." He pulled away from me and ran his hand through his hair.
I didn't want his hands to leave me. I didn't want him to stop kissing me. "J.J."
"I...I'm sorry, Mila." He turned and ran down the stairs.
"J.J.!"
He hopped on his motorcycle and sped off into the rain, leaving me a wet mess on the porch.
Chapter 9
Sunday
I traced my lips with the tips of my fingers as I stared at a list of universities in the northeast. It would be crazy to transfer schools for someone I just met. I knew that. But there were a lot of other reasons to transfer too. I was miserable at SMU. I was miserable in California in general. Even if I’d never met J.J., I would have at least looked at this possibility.
I stopped touching my lips. That wasn’t true. I’d waited until the day after J.J. kissed me to look up new universities. Which meant I was doing it for him. I bit the inside of my lip as I looked at tuition prices for some of the colleges I recognized in New York. It didn’t hurt to do a little research. And regardless of J.J., I was committing myself to a year of depression if I went back to Cali.
My eyes almost bugged out of my head when I started reading the tuition prices. One of them was almost $60,000 a year. Were they fucking kidding me? Not to mention the cost of living in NYC would be astronomical.
I sighed and leaned back on my pillow. It was stupid to look. I had a great scholarship to SMU. Aiden would be gone in the fall, so it wasn’t like I was going to run into him. And all his friends had just graduated too. I’d be able to start over. I’d meet new people and make new friends. I thought of J.J. and Kristen. They were both more fun than anyone I’d met at SMU. Ugh.
I glared at the ridiculous tuition costs. Even with a decent scholarship, which was unlikely since I would be applying so late, any school in New York would be more expensive than SMU even before you factored in the cost of living. Which meant I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t going to call my dad and ask him for more money. And I wasn’t exactly making lifechanging money at Sweet Cravings three days a week. I glanced over at Kristen who was still sleeping soundly.
Just because a school in New York wasn’t an option, it didn’t mean I still couldn’t transfer. After all, J.J. was absolutely not a factor in this decision. Definitely not. Kristen went to a college nearby. I typed the University of New Castle into google. A state school even without a scholarship might be cheaper than SMU was. Which meant I wouldn’t have to bother my dad and I wouldn’t have to be in hell for one more year. And I wouldn’t have to say goodbye to Kristen at the end of the summer.
I clicked on the University of New Castle’s undergraduate admissions page. My eyes scanned the information about transfers. Right above the application button there was a note that space was limited for fall admissions based on major. I still didn’t even know what I wanted my degree to be in. I’d bounced around so much at SMU that I was close to having enough credits for three different majors. I clicked on the link anyway just to see if they listed the majors where there was still room. No luck. And the page said that the normal deadline for fall applications was May 1st. So whatever spaces they had left were probably very limited. If I was going to do it, I needed to do it soon.
I glanced over at my phone. If I’d had J.J.’s number, I would have called him to talk about it. Yesterday at dinner he acted like he wanted me to transfer. He kissed me. It was possible that we were exactly on the same page. But…I didn’t have his number.
My fingers went back to my lips. No one had ever kissed me the way he had. It didn’t matter that he apologized and ran off. He did that because of what I’d told him about focusing on myself this summer. The next time I saw him, I was going to tell him I’d changed my mind. This summer didn’t have to be all about me. It could be about us. And a few states between us in the fall was a lot better than a whole country between us. If he was willing to try long distance, we could make it work. We had all summer to figure out logistics.
I stared back at my screen. It was only $75 to apply. I’d eat ramen noodles for a few days and I’d never miss the money. I clicked on the big blue button labeled APPLY NOW.
***
My application was completed, minus the essay portion. The question I had to answer was, “Why do you want to transfer to the University of New Castle?” And it needed to be 500 words or less. I had somehow written a 3,000 word essay about Aiden cheating on me, how I was a total loser, how the beach didn’t smell the same on the west coast, and how I was kinda sorta falling for a lifeguard.
None of it was acceptable for an admissions essay. It was more of a rant. I backspaced for what felt like the millionth time. Why do I want to transfer to the University of New Castle? I let the question roll around in my head. Delaware was home to me. And for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel alone. That was the honest truth. I deleted everything I had written and started typing again.
***
“I have to kill him, don’t I?” Kristen asked.
I wiped the tears from beneath my eyes. I hadn’t realized that Kristen had woken up. “What? No.”
“But he made you cry.” She sat down on the edge of my bed. “What the heck happened on your date that made you wake up like this?” She waved her hand not just at my face but in front of my whole body.
I glanced down at my pajamas. There was absolutely nothing wrong with them. She was starting to think she was a fashionista after watching so much Project Runway.
“I’m not crying because of yesterday.” I wiped away my remaining tears. I had pretended to be asleep when she came home last night. For just a few hours, I wanted to keep what happened between J.J. and I to myself. But if she had seen me when I got home, she’d know my tears weren’t over him. And she certainly wouldn’t be threatening to kill him. “I actually had a really great time.”
“So what is this?” She did the thing with her hands again.
“I’m going to pretend you’re just asking why I’m crying, and not insinuating that I’m a hot mess.” I turned my laptop toward her. “Can you read this and tell me if it’s okay?”
Her eyes started scanning my essay. “You’re applying to the University of New Castle?” She looked up way before she could have possibly finished the essay. “You’re applying to the University of New Castle!” She leaned forward and threw her arms around me. “Mila, we’re going to have so much fun there together.”
I laughed and hugged her back. “I don’t even know if I’ll get in. Applications are past due, but they have a few spots open on a case by case basis.” I released her from my hug. “So I need this essay to be perfect.”
“Right.” Kristen looked back down at my computer screen. A few minutes later she lifted her head. “Is this really how you felt? I mean…I know you said it, but…now I feel it. I’m so sorry, Mila.”
“It felt like I couldn’t breathe. I’d never felt so alone in my entire life.” I shook my head. I didn’t want Kristen’s pity. “But life is pretty good right now. After all, I have a new best friend.” I kicked her shin with my foot.
A smile spread over Kristen�
�s face. “Best friend, huh?”
I had called her my bestie in my head a few times but never out loud.
“I like the sound of that,” she said before I had a chance to overthink it. “And you’ll definitely get in with that essay. Goodbyes suck, and I was already dreading ours. Now I won’t have to. What major are you declaring?”
“I chose marketing just because I was close to finishing that degree at SMU already. And also undeclared as my second choice. I’m hoping that if they don’t have any room left in marketing they might still take me. Honestly I still have no idea what I want to do after I graduate, so maybe I haven’t tried the right courses yet.”
Kristen clapped. “You’re definitely going to get in. Do you think you’ll live in the dorms? Or an apartment?”
“I think I’ll hold off on planning all that until I hear back.” I turned my screen back to me. “Any changes you’d make?”
“Zero. It’s perfection in written form. Hit submit!”
I held my breath as I pushed the button. That was that. I quickly filled out the billing information for the application fee and shut down my computer.
“So…” Kristen said.
I looked up at her. “So?”
“Your date must have been good if you’re moving all the way back to little old Delaware to be closer to him.”
“His new job is in New York, not Delaware. Me wanting to transfer has nothing to do with J.J.” Well, maybe a little. Or a lot.
“Oh you learned his name! What else did you learn about him?”
That he rides a motorcycle and his kisses make my knees feel weak. “Well, the whole he’s moving to NYC at the end of summer thing, which is a bummer.”
