by Ivy Smoak
"Hey, Stalker Girl," Clint whispered to me. "We got this. They're both going to be incredibly distracted now. It's all part of the plan."
"Well, we could just beat them." Ass hat.
"But where's the fun in that?" He winked at me and turned back to the table.
I grabbed the hem of my shirt and slowly lifted it over my head. My lifeguard had seen me in a bikini. This wasn't any worse. And I always wore nice pushup bras to work because it usually got me better tips. Since Clint had zero desire to help me win this game, maybe taking his advice wasn’t such a bad idea. J.J. was in dire need of a distraction. I tossed my shirt as seductively as possible to the side, leaned down, and picked up the ball off the floor.
J.J.’s eyes were locked on my breasts. And Clint's girlfriend was certainly staring at him. Maybe Clint was right. I took a deep breath. This was going to be more fun than I realized. Now that we had the upper hand, I’d be winning in no time. I was already prepping my victory lap…which included me putting my shirt on first. Maybe after I shoved it in J.J.’s face.
It was his turn to serve. He served it toward me. It was a good serve, but not too good that I couldn't return it. Because I’m awesome like that! We got the next four points so that we were tied five to five.
"Your turn," I said and folded my arms across my chest. Take that.
My lifeguard shrugged. He grabbed his shirt by the collar and pulled it off. I should have been desensitized to his sculpted torso from seeing him at the beach all the time, but I wasn't. I was practically salivating. And he aced his next serve.
"You okay there, Jellyfish Girl?" He flashed me his smile that made my knees weak.
"Yes, I'm fine." I wasn't. I was clearly way more distracted by him than he was by me. Stupid perfect lifeguard body. It was Clint's serve and he was clearly distracted by his girlfriend too. We lost the next four points in record time.
I tried to think of what underwear I was wearing. I was pretty sure it was a thong. Not just pretty sure, positive. I had to wear a thong with these shorts or else I’d have a visible underwear line. Fuck my life. Clint dropped his shorts. I looked down at the floor. I didn't want to see him in his boxers. This isn't a big deal. We've all seen people naked of the opposite sex. This is normal. How is this normal again? I unbuttoned my shorts while my brain started having a panic attack of its own.
Because I was wrong. This was mortifying. And humiliating. And awkward as all get out. Why couldn't I have worn a normal pair of underwear? Stupid underwear lines. Underwear lines deserved a slow and painful death. I slowly lowered my shorts to the floor. I couldn't make eye contact with my lifeguard. Or anyone for that matter.
Clint picked up the ball. "Your face is bright red, Stalker Girl," he whispered. "Chill, you have a great ass."
Holy fucking shit. My face probably turned five shades redder. My lifeguard cleared his throat. I finally looked up. He was smiling at me.
That smile did something to my heart, because it was beating so fast I felt faint. I couldn't lose any more clothes or I might have a heart attack. We needed to score the next five points to tie it up. I tried hard to focus on the ball. We won the last serve Clint made. Luckily his girlfriend was bad at serving and we won four out of the five points that she served.
My lifeguard quickly took off his shorts and kicked them to the side. He wasn't embarrassed at all. Granted, I had already seen him in just his boxers. He’d flaunted himself around that changing room like it was no big deal. So why did all of this feel like a big deal to me?
He didn't glance at all at Clint's girlfriend. His eyes stayed locked on me. I wasn't sure if he actually liked what he saw, or if he was just trying to embarrass me. My eyes drifted down his torso. There was definitely a big bulge in his boxers. If we got five points I'd get to see him naked. And if they got four more, he'd see me topless. That couldn't happen. It was not a possibility. I needed to step up my game or live the rest of my life under an actual rock.
I grabbed the ball. I did one of my best serves and my lifeguard returned it. The volleys were long. Just like his penis probably was. Shit, focus! My lifeguard and I had taken over so that we were hitting the majority of the balls while Clint and his girlfriend barely got to hit any. Even though Clint wasn't screwing me up, I was still distracted and we lost three out of five of my serves. No, no, no. This wasn’t happening.
"We just need one more point and then we win," my lifeguard said. It was really more of a taunt.
"Stop gloating. You haven't won yet," I snapped. This can't be real. Maybe I was having a really awkward vivid dream. I pinched myself. Nope, I’m living this nightmare.
I tried to reach over to return a shot, but Clint hit it instead. The ball missed my lifeguard's side of the table by a fraction of an inch.
"You've got to be kidding me!" I threw my paddle down on the table.
"Sorry, Stalker Girl," Clint said. He grabbed the waistline of his boxers and pulled them down. I quickly looked away. “Your turn,” I heard him say.
Why didn’t I wear more layers today? Fuck. I can't believe I'm doing this. I reached behind my back and unhinged my bra. I turned around and let my bra straps slide down my arms. Before I turned back around I strategically folded my arms across my chest. At least my nipples were covered. My very hard nipples, thanks to my stupid lifeguard.
"Now, if you'll excuse me," Clint said and walked over to his girlfriend.
"Clint!" she screamed as he lifted her over his shoulder. The two of them laughed as they disappeared into J.J.’s bedroom, which I was hoping was their shared bedroom. Or else that was super weird.
"Well that was fun," my lifeguard said.
"Okay, can I put my clothes back on now?" I kept my arms folded across my chest.
"Hmmm." My lifeguard walked over to me.
"I can't believe you lied to me about being good at ping pong."
"I didn't lie. The first time we played I was too distracted to play well."
"By what?"
"You."
I swallowed hard. He put his hand down on the table and leaned toward me. His face was only a few inches away from mine.
"Close your eyes," he said.
I immediately shut my eyes. Partially out of embarrassment, and partially because I was hoping something was about to happen. God, he's going to kiss me. I'd wanted another kiss ever since our first one. A second later he slapped my ass.
"What the hell?" I opened my eyes. My lifeguard was holding all my clothes. "Oh my God, give those back!"
"Clint was right, you know."
"About what?"
"You have a great ass."
"Damn it, give me back my clothes, J.J."
"I kind of prefer you without clothes."
"J.J.!"
"I'll give you back your clothes if you put your hands down."
"I'm not doing that."
"But I won the game."
"I don't care if you won,” I said.
"You agreed to play."
"I did play. And I took off everything but my thong, just like I had to. Now give me back my clothes." I kept one arm across my chest and reached toward my clothes.
He took a step back. "I feel like I should be allowed to see."
I laughed, but it wasn’t an “I’m having a great time,” laugh. It was more of a “tortured soul” kind of laugh. "Why?"
He continued to back away from me around the table. "You've seen me topless a bunch of times."
"That's different!" I started to chase him around the table. The victory lap I had pictured in my head was not anything like this humiliating moment.
He stopped when we were back where we started and held up my clothes out of reach. "It's not that different. You're acting like no one has ever seen you naked before."
"I am not. I'm just acting like you've never seen me naked before. Which you haven't."
"Well how many guys have seen you naked?"
"J.J., I'd rather not play 20 questions right now."
; "I think it's the perfect time to play 20 questions."
"J.J."
"Mila." He raised his eyebrow at me.
"Oh, come on! How would you feel if I pantsed you right now and saw you completely naked?"
"I'd feel like it would be hard to control myself."
I gulped. I stopped trying to reach for my clothes. Whatever friendship he’d proposed had just been thrown out the window. He couldn’t control himself around me. And I didn’t want him to try. I was just about to tell him to stop trying to control himself when the front door to his apartment creaked. Shit. I quickly kneeled down so that the ping pong table would hide me. He put his hand on the top of my head.
"J.J.!" Someone yelled when they walked in. "Whoa, sorry, man."
"Oh." J.J. cleared his throat. "We're not..."
"Dude, I didn't mean to cock block you."
Shit. Does J.J.’s roommate seriously think I'm giving him head in the middle of their living room? I scrunched up my face. That was worse than the real story. I stood up, keeping my arms across my chest. "We were just playing strip ping pong." I recognized the guy as J.J.'s ping pong partner from Grottos the other night.
The boy's eyes drifted down my body. I had never felt so exposed in my life. I looked over at J.J.
He stepped in front of me to block the guy’s view of me. "Get the fuck out of here, Logan."
"Right, sorry." Logan disappeared into the room I hadn't been in.
J.J. started laughing as he turned around to face me. "I'm so, so sorry," he said between bouts of laughter.
"J.J. give me my clothes before someone else walks in."
"Okay, okay. Here, catch." He tossed my clothes at me.
I instinctively moved my arms away from my breasts so I could catch the clothes. Shit. Balls! I’m a nudist! I pulled the clothes against my naked torso. I looked up at J.J. He looked so satisfied with himself.
"You're such a smug ass," I said and turned away from him. I quickly put my clothes back on. When I turned back around he was still staring at me. But I wasn’t really focused on his eyes. I swore the bulge in his boxers had grown significantly. Stop staring at his dick, you gave those up! My eyes gravitated back to his face.
I thought about what he had said a second before Logan had walked in. He was having a hard time controlling himself around me. I didn't want him to control himself. Maybe I should have played his game a little longer. My eyes wandered down his body again. The bulge in his boxers definitely looked even bigger than it had been before. There was no denying it. I should have pantsed him! If I had played that differently, he might be kissing me right now.
He cleared his throat, drawing my attention away from his boxers.
"Are you happy with yourself?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips. God, it was nice to be wearing clothes again.
"I'm very happy with myself." He sat down on the arm of the couch. "Did you want to watch a movie or something?"
My first instinct was to ask what time it was. But even if it was 3 a.m. I'd still rather stay. And even though he’d just seen me almost completely naked, it didn’t feel awkward between us. It felt like we’d known each other forever. Like we’re besties? No, definitely more than besties. "Sure."
"Awesome." He walked over to his clothes and pulled his shorts back on. His shirt remained on the ground as he grabbed our beers off the counter.
I looked away and sat down on the couch to one side. I silently cursed myself. I should have sat in the middle so he'd have to sit directly next to me. When he walked back over, he handed me my beer and sat down in the middle of the couch. For some reason I held my breath. I didn't care what we had talked about. Clearly neither of us wanted to be just friends. He turned on the TV and put his arm behind me on the couch without touching me.
"Oh, I love this movie," he said. "Have you ever seen it?"
"The Internship? Yeah, I love Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson." I smiled at him.
"Yeah, they're freaking hilarious together. This movie was so underrated. I can't believe people didn't find it funny."
"I know!"
He put his feet up on the coffee table in front of the couch. It was hard to focus on the TV when all I wanted to do was look at him. I wished that Logan hadn't interrupted us. I began to wonder what would have happened. It had been so tempting to pants him. And if I was being honest with myself…do way more after said pants were gone. Way, way more. My diet was over. I was craving his dick more than I’d crave ice cream if I ever gave it up. Well, maybe. Either way, it was a lot of craving and a lot of diet cheating going on in my head.
I yawned and leaned back so that my head was resting on his arm. He didn't flinch at all. Maybe he was hoping I'd do that. His intoxicating smell of saltwater and sweat made me want to kiss him even more. I closed my eyes and pretended that Logan had never shown up.
Chapter 13
Thursday
I couldn't remember the last time I had slept so well. I slowly opened my eyes and then snapped them shut. Oh my God. I was still at my lifeguard's apartment. I was resting my head on his lap. His cock was directly underneath my right cheek. It felt slightly erect. And it definitely felt big. Oh. So. Big. I knew I should move. That was the logical thing to do. But since when was I logical?
Instead, I stayed completely still. I had almost seen him naked last night. I wondered if that opportunity would ever present itself again. This might be the closest I ever got to him.
My lifeguard's hand must have dipped below my shirt while we were sleeping and I could feel his palm pressed against the skin right below my bra. His hands were rough and I liked how his skin felt against mine. I didn't want to move at all. I wanted to stay in this moment forever. As soon as one of us moved, the perfection would be over. I slowly opened my eyes and strained to see his shorts right by my head. This was no normal snuggling session. It was a very inappropriately sexualized snuggle fest. This was 100 percent not the way it would feel like to snuggle with Swatch from Project Runway. I had it all wrong at the beginning of summer. No offense, Swatch.
Every time he breathed, my head moved slightly up and down. I stared at his legs and feet. How was even this part of him so sexy? I bit my lip. It was hard not to reach out and touch him. Since when had touching leg hair climbed so high on my bucket list? Stay still.
My lifeguard groaned and I quickly closed my eyes again. His breathing no longer sounded shallow. I felt him shift below me. He was definitely awake. His hand slowly moved down my torso and his fingers traced right above the waistline of my shorts. He thinks I'm still asleep. His hand slid to the small of my back and his fingers traced up my spine. The way he was touching me made my whole body tingle. With his other hand, he ran his fingers through my hair.
He was staring at me the way I’d just been staring at him. There was something vindicating about that. It also made me feel less weird for pretending to be asleep. Our friendship was completely whack.
I heard a door open and close.
"Hey," someone whispered. It sounded like Logan. "Our shift starts in 20."
No!
"Okay," my lifeguard whispered back. He ran his fingers through my hair once more and pulled my shirt back down my torso. "Hey, Mila?" He put his hand on my shoulder, all innocently, like his hand hadn’t just been up my shirt.
I rolled onto my back and looked up at him. "You're handsome in the morning." I put my arm over my face. Why did I just say that? Our skin touching had forced the butterflies back into my brain.
My lifeguard laughed. "I have to be at the beach soon and I need to take a shower. Do you want to wait and I'll walk you home on my way to work?"
I took one last moment to savor having my head on his lap and slowly sat up. "No, that's okay. I'll see you at the beach later?"
"I'll be there." He smiled at me and got up off the couch.
I stood up too. I suddenly felt extremely awkward. It seemed like I should at least hug him goodbye. That would be a very normal thing to do. So of course, I to
ok a step back instead. Smooth.
He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.
"Okay, see you later," I said and started toward the door. Before I walked out, I turned around. His hands were in his pockets and he was staring at me. Did he feel it too? It felt like my heart was beating in my throat. I quickly left his apartment.
***
I was sitting on my bed cross-legged holding my phone. Aiden had just texted me. This was the first time I had heard from him since he broke up with me. I don't know how many times I had called him and texted him last semester. He always ignored me. Every single time. Like I was a ghost. Like I never meant anything to him.
I looked down at his text. He said he hoped I was having a good summer. The only reason it was good was because he wasn’t in it. If he had never broken up with me, I may have stayed with him for the rest of my life. The thought was chilling. I would have never come here for the summer and never met my lifeguard. That was the hardest part to swallow. This was the best summer of my life. I had thought my world ended when I walked in on Aiden and that slut. But I truly felt like I was exactly where I needed to be. Having felt what it was like to lose love had somehow made me open to finding a better love.
I didn't need the summer to find myself. I felt more like myself here than I ever had in California. And my lifeguard was who had fixed me. He held the cure to whatever problem I had. I knew he was keeping his distance because he respected me and I was going back to California at the end of summer. But I wanted it to be more. I didn't want to miss out on my chance with him.
I looked back down at Aiden’s text. A few weeks ago I would have been ecstatic that I had finally heard from him. But he was probably only texting me because he needed something. I no longer cared about his needs. I wanted nothing to do with him. For some reason this was the closure that I had been longing for. I was done thinking about him. Fuck him. I couldn't believe I had wasted so many months wallowing. Losing him wasn't a loss at all. He was an asshole. How could I have not seen it before? I kept thinking I had done something wrong. I kept blaming myself. But it wasn't my fault. He was just a shitty human being. A complete and utter goober butt. I rolled my eyes at myself, wishing my name calling was more on point.
