by Ivy Smoak
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. "I looked forward to seeing you too."
"But you're going back to California at the end of the summer. You're only going to be here for two more months."
There was no point in telling him about my application to the University of New Castle. It didn’t matter either way. "I know."
"And I know you aren't looking to date anyone. I'm not in any place to date someone either. I get that it's complicated. It's messy." He sighed. "I don't want to hurt you. That's why I said we should just be friends."
"I know." I didn’t actually know that. And it was really nice to hear it. I exhaled, not even realizing I had been holding my breath while he spoke. He still liked me. I stared at him. Did I still like him? My eyes traveled to his lips. Affirmative. But I really wished I didn’t. Especially since he was only offering me friendship.
He tapped the counter. "Are you hungry?"
It would be easy to turn him down. I could tell him I was working a double shift. But I didn’t want to push him away. I just wanted him to want me, even though it was pathetic. And he was standing here telling me he was sorry. That he still wanted me in his life. Us being friends didn’t exactly break my new diet. I looked at the clock behind me. I still had a few minutes left of my shift, but my replacement was already here. "Is it okay if I get going early?" I asked her.
"Absolutely." She looked at my lifeguard and then winked at me.
I laughed and pulled off my apron. Before I walked out of the shop, I turned to J.J. "Would you rather go get dinner or just have ice cream?"
"Bring me my ice cream, woman!" He slapped his palm on the counter.
I laughed, grabbed two bowls, and put a few scoops of Pink Dream ice cream in each one.
"I'm glad we made up," he said and stole one of the bowls out of my hand as soon as I came out of Sweet Cravings. "I missed this ice cream."
"I thought you missed hanging out with me." Stop being desperate.
"Eh...not as much as the ice cream." He smiled at me and took another bite. We started walking down the boardwalk.
When I was younger, I had always wished I was one of those girls walking down the boardwalk with a boyfriend. I glanced at my lifeguard. I completely understood everything he had said. But it didn't change how I felt. I wasn't sure if I could just be friends with him. Whenever I saw him, I got butterflies in my stomach. And his smile made my knees feel like jelly. And I started to sweat more than usual.
My head was completely logical. Friends only. My mind was one hundred percent into that idea. But my body? It was trying to betray me. I inched closer to him while we were walking and silently cursed myself. My body could be really stupid sometimes.
At the end of the boardwalk we turned down a side street and walked past some more shops. Normally I'd find silence unnerving, but it wasn't awkward with him. Somehow I was comfortable yet nervous at the same time. I tried to squash those nerves. There was no reason to be nervous around a friend. And J.J. and I were doomed to be only that.
"So I was thinking we should have a rematch," he said and stopped on the sidewalk.
"A rematch? You mean in ping pong?"
"Yeah."
"Do you really think that's a good idea? I completely smoked you."
He laughed. "You're so cocky."
I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, if you really want to get beat again, I'm game. We passed the Grottos already. Is there one closer or should we head back?"
My lifeguard scratched the back of his neck. "I actually have a table in my apartment if you want to just play there. It's probably closer."
He's inviting me back to his place? Even though we had just had a conversation about being friends, it felt like he was giving me mixed signals. Was he as conflicted as me? Or was he trying to torture me? I bit the inside of my lip. Going to his place didn’t mean like a hookup or anything. Friends hung out alone all the time. And I did want to see his place…
"Or we can head back to the Grottos if you'd rather."
"No. I'd like to see your apartment." I smiled at him. He had pointed it out before. It was just farther down the street we had already turned on. I thought we were just randomly walking, but maybe he was trying to get me to come see his place the whole time. The thought made me smile. And then frown. But then I smiled again because it was a lot easier to silence my brain than my body.
"Great. It's actually just a couple more blocks." We started walking again.
"So…I have a question for you," I said.
"Shoot."
"If you have a ping pong table in your apartment, why are you so incredibly bad at it?"
J.J. laughed. "I'm not that bad. You just took me by surprise, that's all."
"Mhm. Sure."
"Geez, you really are cocky, Jellyfish Girl."
He called me Jellyfish Girl again. Maybe we were right back where we were before the kiss. Before he royally screwed up and I gave up men. Before it felt like he stabbed my heart with a knife.
Whatever it was that we had now, I liked it. Him and I were natural together. There was no awkwardness. It seemed like maybe we could actually be friends, as long as I could keep my hands to myself. If it meant keeping him in my life, I had to try.
When we got to his apartment building, he opened the door for me. I couldn't help but think how much of a gentleman he was. Aiden had never opened doors for me. I silently cursed myself for even thinking about Aiden. There was no comparison between him and J.J. They were on totally different levels. J.J. had apologized to me the day after he stomped on my heart. Aiden on the other hand…I was still waiting. And I wasn’t holding my breath.
"So, are your roommates home?" I asked as we stepped on the elevator.
"I'm not sure. Why, are you scared to be alone with me?" He smiled.
He was being flirtatious again. The butterflies started flapping around in my stomach on command. He's like this with all girls. It means nothing. I just needed to get used to it. He wasn't coming on to me. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. Or is he?
"Not at all," I said. "Anyone who's that bad at ping pong isn't very scary."
"You're relentless. I really want to beat you now."
"Well, good luck." He’d need it. The elevator doors opened and we stepped out into a hallway.
"This way," he said and put his hand on the small of my back for a second.
My whole body felt alive even with a slight touch from him. Calm down. We’re buddies.
He took his key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. It was dark inside. "I guess we're alone," he said and switched on the light.
My heart began to race. He invited me back to his apartment and we were all alone. He was definitely coming on to me. Maybe he realized whatever it was between us wasn't worth fighting. I couldn't be the only one who felt this amazing spark between us. I followed him into the main living area. There was a couch, a TV, a pool table, and a ping pong table. The ping pong table had several red cups on it, the remnants of a game of beer pong. The room was open to a small kitchen that was only big enough for one person to cook in. I wondered if his place came with a rolling pin. The only decorations in the living room were a few posters of scantily clad women. Gross.
I turned to him. "I like your decorations."
"Why thank you."
I rolled my eyes at him.
"I actually didn't pick those posters."
"Mhm."
He laughed. "I didn't."
I looked around the room again. There was a bathroom next to the kitchen and two closed doors on either side of the living room. "So, where's your bedroom?"
He leaned against the kitchen counter. "That's rather forward of you, Jellyfish Girl."
"What? Oh, no." I laughed awkwardly. "I didn't mean I wanted to hop into bed with you. Obviously. You know what? You don't even need to show me. I was just curious what it looked like because you mentioned these decorations weren’t yours. So I was wondering what kind of decorations you chose. Bu
t I'm good. Curiosity killed the cat, you know. I'm too young to die." What the hell am I saying?
"Geez, I wish I hadn't left my whistle in the lifeguard shed. It could have doubled as a rape whistle. I feel like I'm going to need it tonight." He smiled at me.
"You won't need your whistle. I’m not rapey. I’m a sophisticated lady.” Yeah, right. “Besides, I heard your friend-speech loud and clear. You're completely off limits." I put my hands up.
"If you say so."
If I say so? I don't want him to be off limits. I thought that's what he wanted. What the hell is going on here?
"My bedroom is over here." He pointed to the closed door on the left of the living room. And then he started walking toward it.
I guessed that was an invitation. I followed him into the small room. There were two beds. My lifeguard’s eyes were on me as I leaned down and looked at some photos on his dresser.
"Is this you?" I asked. I picked up the picture frame. There were two young boys in it. They both had the same captivating blue eyes.
"Yeah, that's me and my brother."
I smiled at him. "You were really cute." I set the photo down and leaned against his bed as I looked around the room. There were more posters of half-naked women in the room but they weren't on his side. Clothes were strewn along the floor, but it was pretty clean. For some reason I had pictured four guys living together being a mess. But I guess I was wrong. I looked back at my lifeguard.
His eyebrows lowered slightly.
I gulped. Why is he looking at me like that? I could feel my face flushing. God, I wanted him. I wanted him to push me against his bed and kiss me again. I wanted his hands on me. I wanted to taste him again.
He pulled off his shirt as he looked at me.
Holy fuck. Is this really happening? Everything below my waistline clenched. His abs looked amazing. I wanted to run my hands down his six pack, tracking every contour of his muscles. I remembered how they felt when I was holding on to him on his motorcycle. But touching them now? I felt like I was going to combust.
He tossed his shirt on the floor. "I'm going to change out of my swimsuit real quick."
I continued to stare at him. He smiled at me. Oh, shit. He's trying to dismiss me, not Thanksgiving turkey me. I stepped backward and stumbled over something, falling to the floor.
My lifeguard started laughing. "Shit," he said. "Sorry, are you okay?" He laughed again.
"I'm fine." Mortified, but fine. "Sorry," I mumbled.
His knelt down next to me. "You are unbelievably cute."
Cute. I didn't want him to think I was cute. I wanted him to think I was sexy. He grabbed my hands and helped me stand up.
I stood there for a second. "Right. You need to change. So, I'll be out there." I pointed to the living room. “Do you have a rolling pin? My place didn’t come with one, which I thought was strange. I’m just going to go look.” I quickly walked out of his room.
I heard him laughing as he closed the door. What is wrong with me? I needed to calm down. We had just talked about how we were going to be friends. I was being crazy. But he had looked at me like he wanted me too. He liked that I had leaned against his bed. Maybe he was having the same dirty thoughts that I was. And if I was flirtatious enough, maybe he would forget about his decision to just be friends with me. I plopped down on the couch.
A minute later he came out of his room. He was wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt. Holy fucking hotness. I crossed my legs, trying to ignore the fact that my body reacted to him in ways it never reacted to anyone before.
"Did you find a rolling pin?” he asked.
I had forgotten to look. But Kristen had said she doubted any beach rentals came with them. So I was going to trust her on that. “Nope. You don’t have one either. So freaking weird. Right?”
He pressed his lips together instead of responding.
“All the locals must be anti-baking. Not that I was using it for that. I was trying to make a pizza. Usually I’m great at making pizza, but it’s harder when you’ve consumed a large amount of wine.”
He laughed. “Is that your way of asking for a drink? Do you want a beer?" He made his way over to the fridge. “We don’t have any wine.”
Could I have a drink and not be weird? Probably if I only had one. I was only bad on margarita night. Or when I had like three beers. Or when I drank half a box of wine. "Sure," I said and walked over to him.
He took two beers out of the fridge and popped off the caps before handing one to me. I took a long sip. Hopefully this would help me calm down a little. I was so turned on I was having trouble thinking straight.
"I liked your room," I said.
"For a second I thought I was going to need that rape whistle."
I laughed. "Oh, come on. Just because I'm attracted to you doesn't mean I have no self-control." Shit did I just say that out loud?
His lips pressed together.
"Where are the paddles?" I almost screamed. I looked away from him. Shit, shit, shit.
"Here," he said and handed me a paddle. He looked pleased with himself. "So what are the stakes this time?" He walked over to the table and tossed me the ball.
Was he trying to see if I was attracted to him? Was that what this was about? I had just admitted it to him, so whatever game he was playing should be over. My lifeguard was the most confusing boy I had ever met. I shook my head, trying to clear away my thoughts. "Hmm," I said as we hit the ball back and forth.
The door to his apartment opened and my ping pong partner from Grottos came in with his arm wrapped around the girl I had seen at the beach with the huge breasts. They were laughing loudly and almost stumbled into the room. They were clearly drunk.
"Stalker Girl!" my partner yelled and lifted up his hand.
"Hey, you." I said and high fived him. I had never learned his name.
"Oh my God, are we playing ping pong again? Game on!" he said and pointed at my lifeguard.
"Oh, I want to play!" the girl with huge tits said and jumped up and down.
I tried not to sigh. "Umm..." I looked up at my lifeguard. It felt like that night at Grottos all over again. Except this time I knew he just wanted to be friends. Maybe. I didn’t know that for sure. Because he said that’s what he wanted. But he never looked at me like just a friend.
He shrugged apologetically.
"Okay," my partner said and grabbed a paddle. "Me and Stalker Girl against you two."
I laughed. This was going to be interesting.
"Clint!" the girl yelled from across the table. "Let's play strip ping pong."
Hell no. I looked up at my lifeguard and his eyes locked with mine.
"I think that's a great idea," he said. A smile cut across his face.
Holy shit, he wants to see me naked.
Chapter 12
Wednesday
I was about to protest, but I stopped. No one had ever looked at me the way that my lifeguard was looking at me right now. He wanted to see me naked. And I definitely wanted to see him naked, even though I was trying really hard to not want that. Friends were supposed to hang out in clothes. But I never had a friend who looked like J.J. How much could it hurt to see him completely naked just once? Probably not much. Honestly, I was more concerned about the fact that he’d see me naked. Bathing suits were revealing but…not as revealing as no clothing.
I bit my lip and glanced at Clint. He and his girlfriend were probably too drunk to ever remember this. Besides, I was really good at ping pong. There was no way I'd actually have to get naked. J.J. would be the one stripping. So in my case…no harm no foul.
"What are the rules?" I asked. I can’t believe I’m even asking this. Yesterday I had sworn off all men and now I was standing here with a ping pong paddle weighing the odds of how likely I was to see two dicks. So much for my diet.
"How about every time a team scores five points, each person on the opposite side has to lose one article of clothing?" My lifeguard smiled at me. "And once one person on a
team gets fully naked, the other team wins."
I didn't know why he was smiling. He was about to lose horribly. Like the worst loss in the history of losses. I was about to put him to shame. I gripped my paddle a little tighter and picked up the ball. "Game on," I said. I tossed the ball toward them and we began to volley for the serve. Clint and I won easily. This was going to be fantastic.
I served first. It hit the table and sailed between the two of them. My second serve was just as good but my lifeguard effortlessly returned it and Clint missed. I looked up at my lifeguard and he shrugged.
"I told you not to be so cocky, Jellyfish Girl."
I laughed. It was one lucky shot. He was the cocky one. "But..."
"Oh, did I forget to tell you that I'm actually really good at ping pong?"
Seriously? Oh fudgesicles! I shook my head and tried to ignore him. He was just trying to get in my head. He sucked at ping pong, I knew it for a fact. I took a deep breath and served again. Clint flubbed the shot. "Clint, what the hell?"
He laughed. "I don't have any body issues. Besides, everyone here has already seen me naked."
"Well I haven't."
"Maybe it's your lucky day then."
Fuck. I picked the ball up off the ground. “Just because you like running around naked doesn’t mean we have to lose. Don’t you like winning?”
Clint shrugged. “After this game I’m getting naked either way.” He winked at his girlfriend.
Good God. I was going to have to steal all the balls that came his way. He was completely off his rocker. And I couldn’t send it over to J.J. anymore. The whole left side of the table was off limits now. I served it at Clint's girlfriend. She wasn't as bad as I was hoping. Clint lost us the next two points as well.
I picked up the ball and threw it at my lifeguard. They had gotten their first five points.
"Take it off!" he yelled and high fived Clint's girlfriend.
Clint pulled off his shirt. Of course he didn't have any body issues. He was a lifeguard. He was fit and tan and almost had as nice of a six pack as my lifeguard. Stop staring at him, you’re being so awkward.
