by Ivy Smoak
“Just like I said. No balls.” He flicked J.J.’s shoulder again.
J.J. clenched his hand in a fist and shook his head.
“Let’s go,” I said to J.J. “Please, let’s just go.” I tried to walk past Aiden as quickly as possible, but he grabbed my arm.
“I just need to talk to you for a few minutes, babe.”
“Don’t touch me.” I pulled away but Aiden’s fingers dug into my skin harder.
J.J. had let Aiden flick him. Insult him. But it was like a switch went off behind J.J.’s eyes when he saw Aiden touch me. One of the fists he’d been clenching hit Aiden’s face so fast if I’d blinked I would have missed it. A sickening crunching noise echoed in my ears as Aiden’s hand fell from my arm.
“Jesus Christ.” Aiden grabbed his bloody nose.
“Don’t you ever lay your hands on her again,” J.J. said.
“She was mine first. And I’ll put my hands wherever I fucking want!” He lunged at J.J.
“Stop it!” I yelled as they collided. They slammed into the ice cream shop counter and Becca screamed at the top of her lungs before they fell onto the cement. Aiden had knocked J.J. over and landed at least one punch, but he was absolutely not winning this fight. J.J. could easily annihilate him. And he did. Punch after punch after punch. “Both of you stop it!” People around us started pulling out their phones. I wasn’t sure if they were filming it or calling the cops. Probably both.
I looked at Becca for help but she was just standing behind the counter with her mouth hanging open.
“J.J.” I tried to pull him off Aiden. “J.J., please. Let’s just go home.” I wasn’t sure if it was my voice or my hands on his arm, but he snapped out of his trance. He got up and ran his fingers through his shaggy hair like he hadn’t just been beating the shit out of my ex-boyfriend.
Aiden got onto all fours and spit blood onto the pavement. He wiped his bloody nose with the back of his hand as he stood up. “You’re fucking crazy.”
I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or J.J., but it really didn’t matter.
“Good luck with that meathead, Mila.”
Screw it. I deserved a few punches too. I took a step forward to slap him, but J.J wrapped his arm protectively around me, keeping me by his side. “Let’s go home.”
Home. It wasn’t my touch or my voice that had stopped J.J. from fighting with Aiden. It was the fact that I’d referred to my apartment as our home. My home with him. I leaned into him as he pulled me away from the chaos.
“Just wait until she comes crawling back to me in Cali!” Aiden yelled from behind us. “All her stuff is still in my apartment. Whatever home you two think you have here is only temporary! See you in a few weeks, babe!”
I closed my eyes and let J.J. lead me back to our home. The one I wished could be permanent.
Chapter 26
Monday
J.J. exhaled through his teeth as I put some peroxide on his elbow. He was already sporting the start of a black eye. Fortunately the only other injury seemed to be the cut on his elbow. He had scratched it pretty badly on the cement. All in all he was in a lot better shape than Aiden. I blotted the wound as J.J. winced again. “Sorry.”
He adjusted the ice pack on his eye so he could get a better view of me.
I dropped his gaze. I wasn’t even sure what I was apologizing for. The sting of the peroxide? The fact that Aiden was even in the state? All of it? I applied some Neosporin on the cut and one of the big Band-Aids I never thought I’d have a use for from the variety pack.
“What made you snap back there?” I asked.
J.J. slowly lowered the ice pack. “You know what.”
I did. He’d said it weeks ago. He was protective of me. He could handle insults thrown at him or someone trying to dig under his skin. But when it came to me? He wouldn’t let anyone harm me. And Aiden had put his hands on me when I’d asked him not to. “I’m sorry,” I said again.
“I don’t know why you’re apologizing. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“No?” I gestured to his black eye.
“You’re not responsible for your ex-boyfriend’s actions.”
I knew that. But I still felt guilty. I bit my lip so I wouldn’t say “I’m sorry” again. “Does it hurt?”
“It feels like someone punched me in the face.” He smiled and then winced.
I took the ice pack out of his hand and held it against his eye for him. I’m so so sorry. Despite what J.J. said, he was hurt because of me.
“How’d he know where you worked?”
“Earlier this summer I left him a message with my address, asking him to ship all the stuff I left at his apartment. Which he never did. But I don’t know how he knew about Sweet Cravings.” I pressed my lips together. “I guess he followed me there…”
“From where? How long has he been here?”
“I don’t know how long he’s been in town. But I ran into him when I was leaving my apartment. I asked him to leave. I couldn’t have been any clearer about it. And I thought I lost him on the boardwalk. I guess I was wrong.”
J.J. nodded. “So today was the only day you saw him?”
“Of course.”
“What were you two talking about before I came?” he asked.
I knew that J.J.’s ex had cheated on him. I knew he was already worried about long distance with me this fall. But he had nothing to worry about. “He kept saying what happened between us was a misunderstanding and that he wanted to talk.” I shook my head. “I’m pretty sure he lost his mind.”
“No, he just finally realized what he lost.”
Maybe. I didn’t want to be talking about Aiden anymore. “Good. Because he did lose me. I’ve moved on.”
J.J. smiled but his heart wasn’t in it. “He seems to still think he has a chance. If you end up moving back…” his voice trailed off. “You might think differently.”
This conversation was ridiculous. I’d never ever get back together with Aiden. I was freaking in love with the man sitting in front of me. But this wasn’t the moment to tell him. Not when Aiden had just been here. I didn’t want J.J. to think I was saying it because I felt bad. When I did tell him, I wanted him to believe it. I wanted him to say it back.
It may not have been the moment to tell him I loved him. But it was a good moment for some other news. I lowered the ice pack from his eye. “Well, I absolutely won’t be moving back.” Despite the heavy conversation, I couldn’t help but smile. “Because I got into the University of New Castle.”
“You got in?” He didn’t sound surprised, just excited.
“Mhm.”
This time his smile was as real as mine. “You got in!” He grabbed me around my waist and pulled me backward onto the bed.
I laughed as he hugged me tight, like he never had to let go. “I got in!”
“I knew you would. Congrats, Jellyfish Girl.”
I smiled against his neck.
“Oh my God, what happened?” Kristen asked.
I turned to look at her coming into the apartment.
“My girl got into the University of New Castle!” J.J. said.
My girl. I was pretty sure I melted into his touch even more.
Kristen squealed. She had the exact reaction I’d expected. She ran over and jumped onto the bed with us. “East coast living! Screw Cali. God, it’s going to be so fun to have you on campus.” She hugged both of us and then screamed again. “What the hell is freezing cold?”
I pulled the ice pack out from beneath her hip.
“Oh. Yeah,” she said. “I got distracted for a second, but what I really wanted to know was what the hell happened to your face, J.J.?”
He touched his eye. “I got in a fight with Mila’s ex.”
“No.” Kristen rolled a little away from us and propped her head up on her hand. “Aiden the dickweed? Here in little old Delaware?”
I nodded.
“What a creep,” she said. “He came here to try to break up your new re
lationship? Low blow. Your poor face.”
J.J. laughed. “You should see the other guy.”
“I bet. So was that why he was here? To mess with your new life?”
I opened my mouth to respond but J.J. beat me to it. “He was trying to win her back.”
Kristen raised both eyebrows. “Not a chance in hell. First, my girl doesn’t play nice with cheaters. And second, she’s madly in love with you, obvs.”
Oh my God, Kristen.
I felt J.J.’s body tense.
“But forget about Aiden,” Kristen said. She grabbed the ice pack from me and handed it back to J.J. “We need to celebrate the good news! What do you want to do, Mila? Go out for drinks? Dancing? Binge watch some Project Runway?”
All I could focus on was the fact that J.J. seemed so uncomfortable. I slowly sat up on the bed, looking anywhere but at him. What did his reaction to Kristen’s comment mean? Did he not love me back? Because she wasn’t wrong…I was head over heels for him. And he was as stiff as a board.
He’d been spending most nights here. We were inseparable when we weren’t working. He’d just referred to my place as his home. Kristen didn’t seem to mind having a third roommate. We’d become the three amigos. Although, definitely no margaritas. But J.J. and I? We’d become an us. And as an us he wasn’t supposed to freak out at the mention of love. I was moving back to Delaware for him just as much as I was for myself. Didn’t he see that? I hadn’t told him that I was in love him, but I hadn’t told Kristen that either and she saw it. Was he just hoping it wasn’t true?
“Earth to Mila,” Kristen said. “What’s it going to be?”
I cleared my throat. “I don’t know. What do you guys want to do?”
“It doesn’t matter what we want to do.” Kristen lightly shoved my thigh. “It’s your night. Pick anything. Aside from streaking. I don’t want you to get kicked out of your new school before you even step foot on campus.” She laughed at her own joke, but I wasn’t really paying attention.
J.J.’s face was hidden by the ice pack. I couldn’t bear sitting on this bed with them another second. “Yeah, let’s go out.” I hopped off the bed. “Unless you need to ice that longer, J.J.?” I wasn’t sure why I asked. It was like I was trying to give him an out. But an out from what exactly? Him and I? That was the last thing I wanted.
“I might keep the ice on for a few more minutes,” he said. “How about you two go ahead though. Get us a table somewhere before it gets too crowded.”
“Sounds good,” said Kristen.
But I didn’t think it sounded good at all. It sounded awful. I had this pit in my stomach that was growing by the second. What if I just never heard from him again? What if he was about to ghost me like Aiden had? Love was a game that I wasn’t good at. And it felt like I was about to lose again.
When Kristen ran to the bathroom to check her makeup, I turned back to J.J. I needed to backtrack. I wasn’t ready to lose him. “I’m sorry about what Kristen said.” I swallowed hard, wishing I could muster the courage to tell him it was true though. That I was in love with him. And ask him why he was so freaked out by those words. But I held my tongue as he laughed.
“Not a big deal. We both know how she loves to exaggerate.”
Right. I pressed my lips together. If he would bother to make eye contact with me, he’d be able to tell it was a big deal to me though. And that it was truer than he wanted to believe.
“Ready?” Kristen asked as she reemerged from the bathroom. She grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the door without waiting for a response. “We need to get our drink on!”
No, what I needed was to go back to tequila nights when my ex wasn’t in town and J.J. hadn’t freaked out at the prospect of love. What the heck had he been doing all summer if he wasn’t falling in love with me back?
Chapter 27
Friday
I balanced my mini-golf putter between my legs so I could put my hair up. August was sweltering and every piece of me was sticky. I could feel the sweat at the base of my neck as I pulled my hair into a ponytail. Gross. I was going to need to start carrying a roll of paper towels around in my purse. And I was going to need a bigger purse to accommodate my paper towel needs.
“You’re up!” Kristen called. She and Reggie had challenged J.J. and me to a game of mini golf. Which was a terrible mistake on their part. Between eating too much ice cream, nighttime runs on the beach, and dancing, mini-golf was one of our go-to activities. And we were freaking beasts.
J.J. smiled at me as I walked down to where my ball had landed. We had found our new normal in the past few weeks. Normal as in, we were dating and not in love. Well, J.J. wasn’t in love. I was falling harder and harder and he was…most certainly not. Our new normal felt like slow torture to me. It was like Kristen’s big reveal had never happened. Which would have been fine if it wasn’t all I could think about.
I lined my putter up, trying not to focus on the nearby mini waterfall that was waiting to steal my ball, and took a swing. Shit. The ball hopped over the hole in the most annoying way possible and ended up farther away from it than it had been a second ago. J.J. and I both groaned. I stepped to the side so Reggie could take his shot, hoping that he’d miss too. At least I hadn’t put it into the waterfall. That would have been embarrassing since I was a pro at this.
“Gotta get your head in the game, Jellyfish Girl,” J.J. said and wrapped his arms around me. “What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing.” The end of summer. What will happen to us?
“I know you too well to accept that lie.” He kissed the side of my forehead as Reggie sunk his shot perfectly.
Damn it. J.J. and I were still winning, but I suddenly wanted to take my putter and throw it into the fake mini lake next to hole 16. Or the windmill that made it nearly impossible to get a hole in one at hole 17. Or just whack the fake grass beneath my feet because it was too hot to move. I was raging on the inside and trying to remain cool, calm, and collected on the outside. And failing miserably. Especially at the cool part since it was 1,000 bajillions degrees out. I pulled on the neckline of my tank top, but there was no breeze up here to help.
“Really, is there something bothering you?” he asked.
“I just really want to win.”
“It’s supposed to be a fun game.” He leaned in a little closer to whisper in my ear. “But I agree, let's annihilate them.”
I was relieved to hear a laugh come out of my mouth. A little exasperated, but a laugh just the same. And that should have counted for something when my heart felt like it was crumbling into bits. I was leaving in two weeks. J.J. was standing there saying he knew me too well to know when I was lying. So couldn’t he tell that the conversation from a few weeks ago had killed me? I knew that he had issues with long distance relationships, but I’d be less than 3 hours away. We could see each other every weekend if we wanted to. And I most certainly did want that. But as summer drew to a close, it felt like we were ending. Like there was a clock ticking down to the end of our relationship. And I was pretty sure I was seconds away from having a heart attack.
“My turn again.” I ducked out of his arms and stared at the stupid little ball that I could usually sink so easily. You are my bitch, ball. You will bend to my will. I took a deep breath. Go in the hole where you belong. I squinted at the circular demon and then took my shot. “Yes!” I raised both of my hands in the air, Rocky statue-esque.
“You’re acting like you two already won,” Reggie said. “We still have two holes left.”
Kristen laughed. “They always do this. They’re both so cocky. A match made in heaven.” She winked at me.
I glanced at J.J. He was staring at the next hole like he was assessing it. But I was pretty sure he was tuning out Kristen’s analysis of our relationship. Yet again. I knew I was over analyzing every move he made the past few weeks. How could I not though? I wanted to believe we’d make it past the end of summer. I needed to believe it.
My pho
ne started buzzing in my pocket. I was grateful for the distraction. The number on the screen wasn’t one of my contacts. But that made sense given that most of my contacts were standing with me right now. I ran my finger across the screen. “Hello?” I said.
“Hello, is this Mila Wilson?”
“Yes, that’s me. Mila. Mila Wilson.” What am I saying? She already knows my name. I never knew what to say on the phone. It was like my brain always switched off and made me as awkward as possible. Normally phone calls made me sweat profusely too but I was already doing that. I wasn’t sure if that was a pro or con.
“Hi, Mila. This is Cindy and I’m calling from the admissions office of the University of New Castle about your tuition. We’re still waiting on payment. And we can’t hold your seat in the classes you signed up for much longer. Is there any way you can send payment through by Tuesday? We can only guarantee to hold your seats until then.”
I stepped away from my friends. “There must be some mistake. My tuition should have come through the day I got my acceptance letter, or maybe a few days after. Can you check again?”
“Oh that’s great news. Let me look into that for you.”
The silence stretched on too long. I walked to the edge of the miniature golf course. It was on the roof of one of the buildings on the boardwalk. But even the beautiful view of the water didn’t calm my rapid heartbeat. My dad did send in tuition…right?
“I’m sorry,” Cindy said. “We have no record of payment. Do you know if it was sent through our online portal or by mail? It’s possible that the check got lost in the mail.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “That must be it. It must have gotten lost in the mail. Could you give me a few minutes to look into it? I’ll sort everything out and give you a call back.”
“Of course. And you have until Tuesday evening, so no rush. But our office closes at 6:30 tonight.”
Okay, great, thank you.” I wasn’t really thankful though. They’d probably messed something up on their end. People these days.
“Have a nice evening,” she said, and the line went dead.
