Worth the Wait

by Traci Douglass

  With a growl, he threw caution to the wind and slipped his arm around her waist, tugging her into his chest. Her pupils were blown wide now, all but obliterating her aqua irises. He nuzzled the spot just below her earlobe, too far gone now to care, to stop, to do anything but surrender to the yearning inside him. “You want me?”

  She tipped her head back, allowing him more access as her nails traced his scalp. He shivered against her, grinding his hips against hers so she’d know just how much he wanted her too. “Oh, God. Alex. Yes!”

  She tasted so good, so right. He wanted to devour her whole. Right there. Right then.

  His lips captured hers, and she moaned deeply. He took advantage, sweeping his tongue inside her mouth again, tasting, teasing, tempting as she raised one leg to wrap it around his waist, pulling him even closer to her.

  One last scrape of sanity jolted through his head and he pulled back, her breath skimming his face as he asked a final time, “Are you sure?”

  “God yes!” She pulled him in for another kiss as if to seal the deal.

  He gave in then, desire overriding everything else inside him. He couldn’t seem to stop touching her, his thumbs gliding across her velvet skin, the wonder and heat sparkling in her eyes.

  Then Mandy fisted the front of his T-shirt and shoved him backward a step. “Bed. Now.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Alex chuckled, groaning as she traced her tongue over her bottom lip. “Yours or mine?”

  “Yours.” She closed the small distance between them again, yanking up his shirt to score her nails down his abs as she nipped the side of his neck. “It’s closer, and I can’t wait.”

  Neither could he. With a growl he took her hand and all but dragged her down the hall to the master suite. There they fell onto his king-sized bed together in a tangle of limbs and kisses. He took off her sweatshirt, then blinked at her yellow lace bra, something close to awe welling inside him. “Uh…wow. That’s quite the lingerie.”

  She hooked a finger in his collar and tugged him down for another kiss. “Like it?”

  “More than I ever thought possible.”

  He kissed her once more then sat up and removed his own shirt, groaning as she ran her hands all over him, loving the feel of her skin against his. This might be temporary, but that didn’t make it any less real.

  His breath caught as her hands dipped lower toward his waistband and his pulse tripped as she said, “If you’re a good boy, I’ll let you see all the lingerie in my collection.”

  “Oh, I’ll be good.” He braced himself above her, his chest brushed hers, and she gasped. Then he snuck a hand beneath her back to unclasp her bra as he nuzzled her ear once more. “I promise I’ll be very, very good.”

  Chapter Nine

  Over the next week they didn’t do much of anything except stay in the house and spend time together. Alex did small jobs around the place while Mandy worked her shifts at the diner or at the Playground, but otherwise, they just watched TV or read or cooked dinner together or made love. To Alex, the past seven days had been heaven on earth.

  But by Tuesday he decided he needed to get outside. Restless and bored, he stalked to the front windows to peer out at the sidewalk beyond. It was early November now and most of the trees were bare, wind whistling through the empty branches. The sun was out, though, and the temperatures weren’t horrible for this time of year. Maybe he’d get some fresh air. He could work in the backyard, he supposed, but he’d already cleaned up most of it.

  The longer he stood at the window, though, the more the outdoors beckoned.

  A short walk then. Not too far, but around the block. Or maybe to the town square. Yeah. That sounded good. He tugged on his jacket and grabbed his house keys. Or maybe, if he walked just a little farther, he could catch Mandy after her reader gig. That sounded even better. Give him a chance to spend even more time with her before tonight. Not that he missed her or anything.

  Ignoring the odd squeeze in his chest, Alex locked the door behind him then headed down the sidewalk. He and Mandy had great conversations. Had great sex, too. She was easy to be with, in or out of bed. But that was as far as it went. They were friends with benefits. That was all.

  And maybe if he kept telling himself that, it might make it true.

  His steps dragged a bit as he continued down Concord and rounded the corner onto Main, head down and shoulders braced against the icy breeze blowing in from the north. A deep breath chilled his lungs and brought with it the scents of late fall—decaying leaves and pumpkin spice from the coffee house to his left. His footsteps kept rhythm with his thoughts. Funny, but a month ago, walking down here by himself would’ve had him stressed to the max. Now, though, his gut tingled, not with anxiety but with anticipation. Part of him knew that was because of Mandy. She’d somehow found a way to bring him out of his self-imposed shell. Kicking and screaming sometimes, but still. For that he was grateful, even if the world still left him unsettled at times. The other part of him, though, the analytical part, had warning bells clanging in his head.

  Don’t get too attached. Don’t fall too far, too fast.

  He didn’t love Mandy. He didn’t. He liked her. A lot. Way more than he expected to or should, but not the L word. Never the L word. He’d been burned too badly in the past to go down that path again, especially now, with so much at stake. The house. His future. His plans.

  Alex walked past the grocery and saw a huge Thanksgiving display in the front window. A big turkey in a top hat grinned at him through the glass, holding an ad for dinner with all the fixings on sale. He’d planned on spending the holidays alone, since the rest of his family usually spent Thanksgiving at their dad’s and that wasn’t an option for him. But now that Mandy was in the picture, maybe he wouldn’t need to celebrate alone. Mandy loved to cook, and he loved being with her, so maybe they could make a meal together, start a new tradition…

  His logical brain snagged on that idea. She’d not made a decision on that movie part yet, at least not one she’d discussed with him. For all he knew, she’d be gone by Thanksgiving. Best not make plans then. And besides, one holiday didn’t make a tradition anyway. You need years together for that, and he and Mandy wouldn’t have years. Hell, they might not even have months at this point. He should just enjoy their time together now and forget the rest.

  Knowing that didn’t ease the weight of disappointment weighing down his shoulders, though. Which was silly. The last thing he needed was to get all Hallmark about it and start wishing for things that would never happen. They didn’t have a forever kind of relationship. They’d gone into this with their eyes open. No strings.

  Distracted, he nearly walked past the Playground and had to stop short, staring up at the colorful hand-painted sign above the door. Through the front glass he spotted Mandy reading to a group of kids in the center of a large colorful mat. A couple of boys were goofing off near the back and one little girl with frizzy brown hair and glasses kept raising her hand to ask Mandy questions. For a second, his old fears reared their ugly heads. The place was so open and vulnerable. Kids were small, but harder to protect in a crisis. His throat tightened and his mouth dried. Maybe he should just go back to the house and wait there for Mandy to get home. Pulse pounding and breath rapid, he stepped back from the entrance.

  Before he could walk away, though, Mandy pointed in his direction from inside and ten kids turned in his direction and…

  Oh crap. Run away! Run away!

  Except he couldn’t go now, because Mandy was there, at the door, opening it and giving him a smile that made his breath hitch in a whole different way. She looked radiant, confident, achingly beautiful, and he found his feet rooted to the spot.

  “Hey!” she said, gesturing him inside. “Come in. What are you doing here?”

  “Uh…” He stared back at the kids, swallowed hard. “I, uh, took a walk and ended up here.” Not entirely the truth,
but not a lie, either. Heat rose from beneath the collar of his jacket, and he inched back toward the exit. “You’re busy, though. I’ll just go.”

  “Don’t be silly.” She took his hand, her warm fingers enclosing his cold ones, and tugged him forward onto the mat. “Kids, this is Alex. Alex, this is my reading group.”

  One of the boys who’d been goofing off earlier, a black kid, fixed him with a narrowed gaze. “You Miss Mandy’s boyfriend?”

  Alex’s eyes widened and he froze. Yeah. Reason two to avoid kids—uncomfortable questions. He gave Mandy a side glance then exhaled slowly, figuring out how to answer that. He wasn’t her boyfriend. That implied a relationship they didn’t have. But he couldn’t say he was her Bed Buddy either because that would open a whole other line of questions that kids that age shouldn’t be asking. Mandy’s stare prickled the side of his face and the second drew out to what seemed like an eternity. He opened his mouth to say…what? He wasn’t sure, but then Mandy came to the rescue.

  “He’s just a friend. A good friend.” She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze that helped slow his thundering heart. “Right, Alex?”

  He gave a curt nod, his response gruffer than usual. “Right.”

  The little girl with the frizzy hair raised her hand again.

  “Yes, Ruth?” Mandy pointed at her.

  “Do you guys play Barbies together?” the little girl asked, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “That’s what me and my friends do together.”

  “Uh, no,” Mandy said, biting her lip to hide her smile. “Yes, Chen?”

  “What about Legos? Those are my fave,” an Asian boy said. “I like to build stuff.”

  Alex found himself smiling, the kid reminding him of himself at that age. “I actually love Legos. Used to build sets all the time.”

  “Why’d you stop?” Chen asked, after goofing off some more with the black kid beside him. “I got the new Star Wars set for Christmas. Want to see?”

  He did, actually. Alex glanced over at Mandy who winked then let him go, giving him a nudge toward Chen. “Sure.”

  The next hour passed in a happy blur of toys and kids and play. He hadn’t had that much fun in years, honestly, and it made him feel lighter than he had since before the shooting. By the time he looked up from the table where he and Chen were building an x-wing fighter, the parents were waiting near the doors to pick up their kids.

  Mandy came over to get him and introduced him to her boss and the receptionist then walked him to the door. She turned to him on the threshold and whispered, “I’m so glad you came by today. I’m proud of you. I know this was a big deal.”

  Alex couldn’t seem to wipe the stupid grin off his face. “It was fun.”

  “Good. I’m going to stay a little later today to watch the drama therapist, but I’ll see you after that, okay?”

  “Okay.” He bent to kiss her, then pulled back as the kids gave a collective, “Ew!” Mandy laughed and so did he, resting his forehead against hers before waving to the kids. “Bye, everyone.”

  “Bye,” the kids yelled, waving before running off.

  “See you at home,” Alex said, giving Mandy another quick kiss before walking out the door into the sunshine. The afternoon hadn’t gone the way he’d planned at all but had been all the better for it. He took that as a sign that maybe, just maybe, he was on the right path at last.

  …

  Mandy sat with Dr. Scofield a while later, watching as the therapist asked the kids to pretend to be different kinds of seeds while the laid on the mat in the fetal position. It was all fascinating, but slow. She checked her watch again and saw that it was almost four o’clock now. Her excitement over getting home to see Alex warred with her interest in what the drama therapist was doing with the kids. She shifted in her seat then leaned over to whisper to Dr. Scofield. “They’ve been lying there for an hour.”

  “Yes,” he said. “But you can’t force people to confront things before they’re ready. It’s not quick, but these fantasy scenarios help the kids work through their issues in their own time.”

  Finally, the drama therapist clapped his hands and the kids sat in a half circle once more. “Okay”, Dr. Langer said he said. “Let’s talk about what your seeds might grow into. Patricia, why don’t you start by telling us your seed and what you’d become.”

  The redhead said, “I was an apple seed and apple seeds grow into apple trees that stand tall and proud.”

  “Good.” Dr. Langer smiled. “And would an apple tree feel good about itself?”

  Patricia nodded.

  “Fantastic. Now someone else tell me about your seed.”

  Chen went next. “I’m a gay seed. Like my two dads.”

  A few giggles rang out.

  Dr. Langer frowned, shushing them. “And what does a gay seed grow into, Chen?”

  “Someone brave and strong and tough.” Chen squared his shoulders.

  “Why?” the therapist asked.

  “Because gay people get bullied. My dads say it’s because people don’t understand them because they’re different. People say things that hurt you or hit you or call you names. So you have to be brave and strong to survive.”

  “What about the people who call them names, Chen?” Dr. Langer asked, sitting forward. “How might those people feel about themselves?”

  “I don’t know.” Chen shrugged, scowling down at his sneakers. “Scared maybe?”

  “That’s right. Fear can make us do things to hurt other people, even if that isn’t our intention,” Dr. Langer said. “All right, kids. We’ll talk more about your seeds next time.”

  The group dispersed and Dr. Scofield stood to greet Dr. Langer, an older man with a gray beard and glasses. They shook hands then turned to Mandy.

  “Let me introduce you,” Dr. Scofield said. “This is Dr. Joseph Langer. He runs the Drama Therapy program at Chicago University. Joe, this is our new afternoon reader, Mandy Reynolds.”

  “Nice to meet you.” She shook the man’s hand. “That session was fascinating.”

  “Thanks.” Dr. Langer smiled, adjusting the cuffs of his plaid dress shirt. “Are you from Heavenly Falls?”

  “Yes. But then I moved away for college and my acting career. My mother passed away at the end of September, so I’m back in town to settle her estate.” For once, saying those words didn’t bring the tsunami of grief they had before, or the horrible rock of fear in her stomach over being trapped. All she felt now was a flutter of anticipation at the thought that Alex was waiting for her back home.

  Home.

  The word made her hesitate before she shook it off. It was just a word. Didn’t mean anything. Except it kind of did. Way more than it should to her, since the house wasn’t her home. Not really. It was just a stopping point on her road to Hollywood.

  Wasn’t it?

  “My condolences on your mother,” Dr. Langer said, forcing Mandy out of her thoughts.

  “Thank you.” Mandy cleared her throat and tucked her hair behind her ear, switching topics to something more comfortable. “I’ve never heard of drama therapy. It’s fascinating how theater helps these kids work through trauma.”

  “Yes,” Dr. Scofield said. “It’s too bad you’re here only temporarily, Mandy. After watching you with the kids the past few weeks, I think you’d make an excellent therapist.”

  “Really?” She scrunched her nose. She’d never thought about it before. Acting was her dream, always had been. Different characters, different lives, different realities to escape into besides her own life. She sighed. Except recently, her life was pretty great. Thanks to Alex. She looked up to find both men watching her expectantly and realized she’d missed something. “I’m sorry?”

  “I said, we have a new class starting the first of the year,” Dr. Langer said. “If you’d like, I can send you more information.”

&nb
sp; “Oh, okay. Sure.” Wouldn’t hurt to get information on it anyway, right? And the subject was fascinating. She’d always loved psychology, almost as much as she loved theater. The fact there was a career that combined both was worth looking into, in case she ever needed something to fall back on. Not now, with Bud’s movie role to decide on and the house to get settled, she had her hands full. But maybe in the future. “I’d appreciate that.”

  “My pleasure.” Dr. Langer grabbed the Post-It pad Brenda handed him and jotted down Mandy’s information. “Might take a week or so for me to get it to you with my schedule and all, but I won’t forget. Good to meet you, Miss Reynolds.” He handed the pad back to Brenda then turned to Dr. Scofield again. “Ready to debrief?”

  Mandy said her goodbyes to the men, then slipped on her jacket, waving to Brenda before heading back to the house, her mind still churning over everything that had happened.

  First Alex venturing out on his own today. That was major progress for a guy who hadn’t wanted to leave the house just a few weeks prior. He’d seemed like his old self with the kids, too, happy and laughing and comfortable. Reminded her of the times she’d seen Alex and his dad together back in the day. The closeness between him and his father had been palpable. They were two of a kind, similar not just in looks but in personality. Maybe that was why the current rift between them was even more heartbreaking. She hated to think of Alex without the support he needed now, especially after she left.

  She tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and frowned at the ache in her chest. She didn’t like to think about leaving Alex, not after he’d come so far with her. But she had a life beyond Heavenly Falls, one that was important to her, one that would take her full devotion and attention. She didn’t have time to waste on a hook-up they’d both agreed was just sex.

  This thing with Alex was just a harmless distraction. Just for fun.