Worth the Wait

by Traci Douglass

  She doubted he did, so she continued. “We’ve been staying there together, fixing the place up to sell.”

  He scrubbed a hand over his face and gave a heavy sigh, the moves so similar to Alex’s that her heart ached. “Right. Well, then I assume my son told you that we’re not speaking anymore.”

  “He did.” She started to reach for his arm but stopped herself. “And he told me why.”

  “Did he?” His posture slumped, and when he met her gaze again, his brown eyes—the same shade as Alex’s, were filled with regret. “I’m not proud of how I acted back then. If there were any way to take back what I said, I would. But Alex refuses to take my calls. I’ve tried to get in touch with him so many times since the shooting, to make sure he was all right. But he won’t see me at all.”

  She did touch him then, covering his hand with hers, needing him to know that there was still a chance. “Maybe I can help. Alex has really made progress the past few weeks, opening up and getting out into the world again. I’m thinking the time might be right for a reconciliation. I can’t make any promises, but perhaps if I can get you two together then you can resolve the hurt between you. Alex needs his father.” She squeezed his fingers and ducked her head to catch his eyes. “I think you need your son, too.”

  “I do,” he said, his voice rough. “I’d like nothing better than to have Alex back in my life, Mandy.”

  “Good.” She pulled out her phone and checked her calendar. “What are you doing this coming Monday? Say around four p.m.?”

  “I appreciate you trying to fix this,” Mr. Noonan said, straightening, his expression wary. “But I’m not sure this is the way to go about it. I’ve already made so many mistakes with my son, I’d hate to make any more and ruin whatever chance we have left.” He inhaled deeply and shook his head. “Things were so awful after the shooting. As a parent, you never expect your child to die first, but Alex went into cardiac arrest, twice, from blood loss. Once they stabilized him, surgeons thought they might have to amputate his leg. Then they saved his limb but weren’t sure if he’d ever walk again.” He closed his eyes. “Each day the news seemed worse than the last. The fear and doubt and anger at whoever did this to my son made me say things—horrible things. I was frustrated and furious, and I’m ashamed to say I took that out on Alex. I lost my patience and told him to just get over his PTSD. I know better. Hell, I was in Vietnam. I know what that’s like, but I still said those things to him and drove him further away.” He ground the heels of his hands against his eyes then slumped his elbows on the island. “Honestly, I’m not sure anything can bring us back together again at this point, and I can’t blame Alex one bit.” He gave a sad snort. “Do you know that the day Alex was born, I vowed to do anything in my power to protect him from harm. I did the same with all my kids. But with him I failed. I wasn’t there outside that courthouse to save him.”

  Tears prickled her eyes before she blinked them away, the desolation in his tone hurting her heart. “You didn’t fail him. You couldn’t have known what would happen that day. No one could. We’re all just doing the best we can.”

  He breathed out through his nose and looked at her again. “You know what worries me the most?”

  “No. What?”

  “What happens the next time things go wrong.” At her confused look, he continued. “I know that house you two inherited. Saw with my own eyes the condition it was in. I taught Alex everything I knew about construction when he was growing up, but with a house that old? Trust me, things go wrong. I’m sure he’s done a lot, but if it hasn’t happened yet, it will. And given his anxiety issues, I’m not sure how he’ll handle that.”

  Mandy sat back, unease boring into her stomach. He was right. She thought about the boiler situation and how they were still cleaning up that mess. If something else went wrong while she was in Tennessee, would Alex be able to handle it without a meltdown? Sure, he had his friends, Mark and Jack, helping him, but they were no experts. What he needed was someone who’d been in the business, like his dad. She lifted her chin. “All the more reason for you two to reconnect then. Like I said, I have no idea how it will turn out, and I’m not expecting sunshine and rainbows, but at least maybe a small step forward.”

  Alex’s father didn’t respond for a moment. Then, finally, he nodded. “Fine. Tell me where and when.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Monday morning, Mandy woke up to find herself wrapped in another person. Two muscled arms surrounded her waist and a firm stomach was pressed to her butt. Normally, she’d roll over and indulge in some sexy time, but today was a big day.

  “Alex.” She nudged him with her elbow before wriggling from his hold as the first rays of sunlight filtered into his bedroom. “We need to get moving if we’re going to make it to the exhibition in Chicago.”

  “What?” he mumbled, his eyes half closed as he scrubbed a hand over his face.

  She climbed out of bed and glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “It’s almost seven. The Uber will be here at eight. Get up.”

  Alex dragged her back onto the mattress and trailed his lips across her cheek to nibble on her earlobe. “Just a few more minutes.”

  Laughing, Mandy kissed him, then pushed away from his chest. A mix of joy and apprehension careened through her like an Olympic bobsled team. She could so easily curl up beside him again and never leave, if she wasn’t careful. Which wasn’t good. She needed today to go well. Not just this morning, but later, too. With his father…

  Alex kissed her again and Mandy melted despite her wishes. For some reason, being with him now was more tempting than usual. Last night, their lovemaking had been extra soft and sweet, filled with the same poignancy she imagined married people shared together. All the memories, all the feelings. Her heart squeezed with yearning, and she scrambled away from him fast. They weren’t married. Never would be. That wasn’t part of her plan.

  Was it?

  Thankfully, he must’ve taken her quick retreat as excitement, saying, “Fine. I’m awake.”

  “Good.” She turned away, frowning. The last thing she wanted was for either of them to get hurt, and getting more attached to him than she should was a one-way ticket to Heartbreak Land. She’d been there too many times growing up—caring too much, forming connections—only to have them all ripped away.

  No. It was better to keep things light. Besides, he’d never once said he wanted more.

  She picked up her clothes from the night before and clutched them to her front, the cold floor making her toes curl. “C’mon. You said your friend would let us into the gallery at ten. If we don’t leave soon, we’ll be late.”

  “Fine.” Alex groaned and rolled over onto his back while she headed for the door. Her stuff was still upstairs.

  “In case I forgot to say it, last night was incredible,” Alex called, following her out into the hallway, naked and breathtaking.

  “Yeah.” Mandy smiled down at him over the railing as she headed to her room. “It was.”

  But each step coiled the tension inside her tighter and not just because of the secret she was keeping from him about his dad coming by later. For most people, falling for the man you were sleeping with was a good thing, but for her, it was a death knell. Watching her mother end relationship after relationship had taught Mandy that saying the L word meant it was time to move on, not time to put up the white picket fence.

  And sure, she’d tried to tell herself over and over that she didn’t love Alex, that he wasn’t part of her plans. That selling this house to him and moving on to Hollywood was her destiny. But the truth was she’d fallen head over heels for him, even if she’d never tell him.

  …

  “God, just looking at that gives me a panic attack.” Alex yanked at the collar of his navy-blue sweater and stared at a large impressionist painting in front of him. Swirling crowded figures filled the canvas, and a fresh wave of anxiety
swelled inside him. Sweat beaded on his forehead and his pulse tripped. He looked around for an escape. “Don’t they have climate control in this place?”

  Mandy patted his arm and led him to a more open area of the gallery. “C’mon. The Bal du Moulin de la Galette is over here. And it’s not hot in here. It’s you.”

  He trailed along beside her, his gaze dropping to her butt in those tight jeans and his thoughts jumbling. “Are you coming on to me again?”

  “No, but the fact you think I was is cute.” She shrugged, drawing his attention to her fuzzy pink sweater. That was nice, too. Would look even nicer on the floor, once he took it off her. And God. What the hell was wrong with him? All he seemed to be able to think about at the moment was sex. Or maybe that was the anxiety. He didn’t remember a lot about the psych consults he’d had before leaving the hospital, but he did remember the guy telling him that distraction was a common tactic for people trying to avoid their PTSD. It was why so many ended up turning to drugs or alcohol to dull the pain.

  Is that what I’m doing?

  He scowled as they stopped in front of another painting and he leaned in to squint at the plaque on the wall beside it. Sisters on a Terrace. At least this one featured only two people.

  “Gorgeous.” Mandy smiled and rested her head against his shoulder. “Love the red hat.”

  “It’s nice,” he said, paying zero attention to the painting and focusing instead on the slight dizziness threatening to topple him over. In truth, he’d had low-level anxiety since they’d left Heavenly Falls, but being out in the open like this was making his symptoms worse. Mandy had been so excited, though, he hadn’t wanted to disappoint her by canceling. So, he kept quiet and did his best to hide the fact he was slowly melting down from the inside out.

  They walked to the next artwork. More people eating lunch. And dancing. And crowding together. He swiped the cuff of his sweater across his forehead. Was it time to leave yet? Had to be close, right? Felt like they’d been there for days already.

  “Hey.” Mandy leaned in to study his face. “You okay? Why don’t we sit down for a minute? My feet are killing me.”

  He followed her over to a bench, grateful even though he knew she was lying. No way did her feet hurt in those comfy sneakers she was wearing. They sat and he stared down at the gleaming hardwood floor, breathing in and out until the pounding in his head subsided. He hadn’t mentioned it to Mandy, but this was his first time back in Chicago since the shooting. It affected him more than he’d expected. Or maybe it was the woman beside him.

  Maybe he should just tell Mandy how he felt, ask her to stay with him after the movie role in Tennessee or whatever. He turned away from her slightly, rocking a little in his seat. But if she said no, what then? He’d go back to his life before she’d arrived, he supposed, but, looking back now, that had not really been a life at all.

  Ugh. This was exactly why he hated getting his emotions involved. Life in black and white was fine if you never saw color. But once you did, you couldn’t go back. His chest squeezed, and he resisted the urge to rub the area over his heart. He’d sworn not to fall for Mandy, yet that’s exactly what he’d done.

  Love meant danger, distress, the distinct possibility that it would all explode in his face like a ticking time bomb. They’d agreed to no strings, no fuss, no emotions. And yet, he’d walked right over that line and tumbled head over heels without even noticing.

  Oh God.

  “How’s the boiler installation going?” she asked, jarring him out of his inner panic.

  “Uh…” He ran a damp palm down his jeans-covered thigh and pressed the sole of his brown work boot harder into the floor. “Good, I guess. The new one will be installed next week.”

  “Great.” She watched him a moment, then looked away, clearing her throat and fidgeting a bit in her seat. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she was just as nervous as he was. Which made no sense. What did she have to be nervous about? He was the one making an idiot out of himself here. Then she took a deep breath, her brows drawing together as she frowned down at her shoes. “I’ve decided to take the part in Bud’s movie. Did I tell you that? The script’s really good and it will be a nice stepping-stone to bigger things.”

  “Great,” he said, his tone flatter than he’d intended. He was happy for her, or at least he should be. Except he wasn’t. In fact, he felt downright lousy. “That’s really great.”

  “Yeah.” The corners of her mouth twitched into a frown then she started digging through her purse. “There’s something else I need to tell you…”

  She looked lovely today with her hair up in a bun, tiny diamond studs glittering from her ears. He wanted to remember every detail, so he could think back on it when she was gone. He swallowed hard against the lump of regret in his throat and forced a smile. She was looking at him expectantly, and he realized she’d asked him something. “I’m sorry?”

  She gazed into his eyes, searching, and it took all the willpower he had to bury his feelings deep inside so they wouldn’t show. He’d had lots of practice with that since the shooting. “So, you’re okay with him coming over then?”

  “Who?” Alex frowned.

  Mandy started to answer, but his security guard friend interrupted them.

  “Hey, Lex. We’ll be opening the exhibit to scheduled groups soon.”

  “Right.” Mandy pulled her hand from his, and Alex missed her touch immediately. She closed her purse and stood, cheeks flushed. “Let me just use the restroom before we go then we can talk on the way home. Be right back.”

  …

  Mandy stared at her reflection in the ladies’ room mirror, her mouth dry. She shouldn’t have brought up his dad’s visit yet. Should’ve waited until they were in the car on the way home where they had privacy. The fact he’d taken the news so well only surprised her more. Or made her suspicious. He’d looked a bit shell-shocked when she’d left him on that bench, so who knew what was going on inside him. He never talked about his feelings anyway and considering she felt like a big ball of emotion at the moment didn’t help. She breathed in and out a few times to calm her racing pulse. A check of her watch showed his father would be at the house in just a few short hours, then it would all be over, one way or another. The closure should make her feel better, but it just stressed her out more.

  Fingers trembling, she washed her hands and fixed her hair, then headed back out to where Alex waited for her by the exit. His expression was unreadable, but something about the shadows in his eyes sent a ripple of cold dread through her. She feigned her usual sunny optimism and forced a smile. “Ready? I’ll order our Uber.”

  She pulled out her phone and punched in her passcode. Her calendar was still up on the screen, the appointment with his dad shining bright. Before she closed it out, Alex leaned closer to squint at it.

  “What’s that?”

  “Your dad’s coming over later.” Her lips quivered and her heart stumbled. “I just told you that, remember?”

  Alex blinked at her a moment, his face blank. If she’d been able to breathe, it would’ve been almost comical. As it was, the color now flooding his face and the anger in his gaze sent a clear message. This wasn’t funny. Not at all.

  “What the hell, Mandy?” his voice boomed though the quiet gallery.

  Mandy flinched as she ordered their car then put her phone away, doing her best not to lose it in front of all the people waiting to get into the exhibit. “I told you I invited your dad over to talk when we get home.” People were already starting to stare at them, and heat prickled her cheeks. She tried to move Alex out of the way, but he refused to budge. “Please. Let’s get out of here and we can talk about this on the way home.”

  “Talk about it?” Alex clenched his hands so tight the knuckles cracked. “About what? How you went behind my back? Because I’ve got a few things to say about that.”

  “S
orry, Lex,” his guard friend said again. “But you need to leave now.”

  “Fine. I’m more than ready to go.” Alex stormed off toward the exit.

  She hurried alongside him. “Look, I’m sorry, but I thought it was the only way. He’s your dad and he loves you. I wanted you to have support while I’m gone in Tennessee and—”

  “And what?” His sharp laugh sliced the chilly air as they stood on the busy sidewalk. “You think I need a babysitter or something? Because you think I can’t handle things on my own?” He shook his head and glared out into the passing traffic. “That’s exactly why I wanted to work on the house myself to begin with, Mandy. To prove I was still capable. I thought you understood that.”

  “Alex, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to—”

  “Well, you did.” He growled as their ride pulled up to the curb. “I don’t need your help, Mandy. And I sure as hell don’t need you or my dad’s support. Not when it’s done without my consent.” He cursed again under his breath and yanked the car door open to climb in, leaving her to fend for herself. “Just stay out of my life, okay? I’m just fine on my own.”

  He slammed the door in her face and she ran around to the other side of the car to get in, heat flooding her face and her stomach knotted. God, what a mess. Worse, it was all her fault. This was exactly what she got for getting too attached, for meddling in things that were none of her business. Never mind her heart had been in the right place. Her heart had never gotten her into anything but trouble. “I was trying to help you.”

  “Help, huh? I trusted you, Mandy. I lov—” He stopped himself as their driver merged into traffic. For a heart-stopping second, she thought he was going to say he loved her, but that couldn’t be right. He crossed his arms, his jaw hard as granite. “I don’t need your help, and I sure as hell don’t need to see my father. He’s already made it perfectly clear where he stands on my issues.”

  She wanted to argue, wanted to tell him he was wrong, but considering his defiant posture and how he’d basically shut her out already, she’d only be talking to herself.