Aunt Jane's Nieces at Work

by L. Frank Baum

  CHAPTER III

  DON QUIXOTE

  When Kenneth got home he told Mr. Watson of his discovery and asked theold gentleman to write to the sign painter and find out what could bedone. The lawyer laughed heartily at his young friend's whim, but agreedto help him.

  "If you are going to try to prevent rural advertising," he remarked,"you'll find your hands full."

  Kenneth looked up smiling.

  "Thank you," he said.

  "For what?"

  "For finding me something to do. I'm sick of this inaction."

  Again the lawyer laughed.

  "What is your idea?" he asked.

  "To remove such eyesores as advertising signs from the neighborhood ofElmhurst."

  "It's a Titan's task, Ken."

  "So much the better."

  The lawyer grew thoughtful.

  "I believe it's impossible," he ventured.

  "Better yet. I don't say I'll succeed, but I promise to try. I wantsomething to occupy myself--something really difficult, so that I maytest my own powers."

  "But, my dear boy! This foolish proposition isn't worthy your effort. Ifyou want to be up and doing we'll find something else to occupy yourmind."

  "No, Mr. Watson; I'm set on this. It's a crime to allow these signs toflaunt themselves in our prettiest scenes. My instinct revolts at thedesecration. Besides, no one else seems to have undertaken the task ofexterminating them."

  "True enough. If you're serious, Ken, I'll frankly say the thing can'tbe done. You may, perhaps, buy the privilege of maintaining the rocks ofthe glen free from advertising; but the advertisers will paint moresigns on all the approaches, and you won't have gained much."

  "I'll drive every advertising sign out of this country."

  "Impossible. The great corporations who control these industries maketheir fortunes by this style of advertising. The rural districts aretheir strongholds. And they must advertise or they can't sell theirproducts."

  "Let them advertise in decent ways, then. What right has any soap makerto flaunt his wares in my face, whether I'm interested in them or not?"

  "The right of custom. People have submitted to these things so long thatthe manufacturers consider themselves justified in covering every barn,rock and fence with their signs. I see no way to stop them."

  "Nor I, at present. But there must be a way."

  "Drive out one, and another will take his place. They pay liberally forlocations--"

  "Pshaw! Ten dollars a year for a rock as big as a barn!"

  "But they rent thousands of such positions, and in the aggregate ourfarmers get large sums from them."

  "And ruin the appearance of their homes and farms."

  Mr. Watson smiled.

  "They're not artists, Ken. They can't realize on appearances, but theycan use the money the signs bring them."

  "They need to be educated, that's all. These farmers seem very honest,decent fellows."

  "They are, Ken. I wish you knew them better."

  "So do I, Mr. Watson. This campaign ought to bring us closer together,for I mean to get them to help me."

  "You'll have to buy them, I'm afraid."

  "Not all of them. There must be some refinement among them."

  But the lawyer was not convinced. However, it was not his desire tostifle this new-born enthusiasm of Kenneth's, even though he believed itmisdirected. He wanted the young man to rouse himself and take aninterest in life, and if his antagonism to advertising signs wouldeffect this, the futile fight against them was to be welcomed. It wouldcost the boy something, but he would gain his money's worth inexperience.

  After a few days the sign painter answered the letter. He wouldrelinquish the three signs in the glen for a payment of fifty dollarseach, with the understanding that no other competing signs were to taketheir place. Kenneth promptly mailed a check for the amount demanded andearly next morning started for the glen with what he called his"eliminators."

  These "eliminators" consisted of two men with cans of turpentine andgasoline and an equipment of scrubbing brushes. Parsons, the farmer,came over to watch this novel proceeding, happy in the possession ofthree crisp five-dollar notes given in accordance with the agreementmade with him. All day the two men scrubbed the rocks faithfully,assisted at odd times by their impatient employer; but the thicksplashes of paint clung desperately to the rugged surface of the rock,and the task was a hard one. When evening came the letters had almostdisappeared when viewed closely; but when Kenneth rode to the mouth ofthe glen on his way home and paused to look back, he could see theinjunction "Take Smith's Liver Pills" staring at him, in grim defianceof the scrubbing brushes.

  But his energy was not exhausted. No one ever knew what it cost in laborand material to erase those three signs; but after ten days they hadvanished completely, and the boy heaved a sigh of satisfaction andturned his attention to extending the campaign.

  On the farm nearest to Elmhurst at the north, which belonged to a mannamed Webb, was a barn, facing the road, that displayed on its side atobacco sign. Kenneth interviewed Mr. Webb and found that he received nomoney for the sign; but the man contended that the paint preserved hisbarn from the weather on that side. So Kenneth agreed to repaint theentire barn for him, and actually had the work done. As it took manycoats of paint to blot out the sign it was rather a expensive operation.

  By this time the campaign of the youthful proprietor of Elmhurst againstadvertising signs began to be talked of throughout the county, and wasthe subject of much merriment among the farmers. Some of them wereintelligent enough to admire the young Quixote, and acknowledged franklythat it was a pity to decorate their premises with signs of patentmedicines and questionable soaps.

  But the majority of them sneered at the champion, and many refusedpoint-blank to consider any proposition to discard the advertisements.Indeed, some were proud of them, and believed it a mark of distinctionto have their fences and sheds announce an eye-remedy or severalvarieties of pickles.

  Mr. Watson, at first an amused observer of the campaign, soon becameindignant at the way that Kenneth was ridiculed and reviled; and he tooka hand in the fight himself. He decided to call a meeting of theneighboring farmers at the district school-house on Saturday night,where Kenneth could address them with logical arguments and endeavor towin them over to his way of thinking.

  The invitation was promptly accepted by the rural population; not somuch because they were interested in the novel ideas of the young artistas because they expected to be amused by hearing the boyish master ofElmhurst "lecture at 'em." So they filled the little room tooverflowing, and to add to the dignity of the proceedings the Hon.Erastus Hopkins, State Representative for the district, lent hispresence to the assemblage.

  Not that the Honorable Erastus cared a fig about this foolish talk ofexterminating advertising signs. He was himself a large stockholder in abreakfast-food factory, which painted signs wherever it could securespace. These signs were not works of art, but they were distinctlyhelpful to business, and only a fool, in the opinion of the HonorableErastus, would protest against the inevitable.

  What brought the legislator to the meeting was the fact that he wascoming forward for re-election in November, and believed that thisafforded a good chance to meet some of his constituents and make afavorable impression. So he came early and shook hands with everyonethat arrived, and afterward took as prominent a seat as possible.

  Indeed, the gathering had at first the appearance of being a politicalone, so entirely did the Representative dominate it. But Mr. Watson tookthe platform and shyly introduced the speaker of the evening.

  The farmers all knew Mr. Watson, and liked him; so when Kenneth rosethey prepared to listen in respectful silence.

  Usually a young man making his maiden speech is somewhat diffident; butyoung Forbes was so thoroughly in earnest and so indignant at theopposition that his plans had encountered that he forgot that it was hisfirst public speech and thought only of impressing his hearers with hisviews, exulting in th
e fact that on this occasion they could not "talkback," as they usually did in private when he tried to argue with them.So he exhorted them earnestly to keep their homes beautiful and freefrom the degradation of advertising, and never to permit glaringcommercialism to mar the scenery around them. He told them what he hadbeen able to accomplish by himself, in a short time; how he had redeemedthe glen from its disgraceful condition and restored it to its formerbeauty. He asked them to observe Webb's pretty homestead, no longermarred by the unsightly sign upon the barn. And then he appealed to themto help him in driving all the advertising signs out of the community.

  When he ended they applauded his speech mildly; but it was chiefly forthe reason that he had spoken so forcibly and well.

  Then the Honorable Erastus Hopkins, quick to catch the lack of sympathyin the audience, stood up and begged leave to reply to young Forbes.

  He said the objection to advertising signs was only a rich man'saristocratic hobby, and that it could not be indulged in a democraticcommunity of honest people. His own firm, he said, bought thousands ofbushels of oats from the farmers and converted them into the celebratedEagle-Eye Breakfast Food, three packages for a quarter. They sold thisbreakfast food to thousands of farmers, to give them health and strengthto harvest another crop of oats. Thus he "benefited the community goingand coming." What! Should he not advertise this mutual-benefit commoditywherever he pleased, and especially among the farmers? What aristocraticnotion could prevent him? It was a mighty good thing for the farmers tobe reminded, by means of the signs on their barns and fences, of thethings they needed in daily life.

  If the young man at Elmhurst would like to be of public service he mightfind some better way to do so than by advancing such crazy ideas. Butthis, continued the Representative, was a subject of small importance.What he wished especially to call their attention to was the fact thathe had served the district faithfully as Representative, and deservedtheir suffrages for renomination. And then he began to discuss politicalquestions in general and his own merits in particular, so that Kennethand Mr. Watson, disgusted at the way in which the Honorable Erastus hadcaptured the meeting, left the school-house and indignantly returned toElmhurst.

  "This man Hopkins," said Mr. Watson, angrily, "is not a gentleman. He'san impertinent meddler."

  "He ruined any good effect my speech might have created," said Kenneth,gloomily.

  "Give it up, my boy," advised the elder man, laying a kindly hand on theyouth's shoulder. "It really isn't worth the struggle."

  "But I can't give it up and acknowledge myself beaten," protestedKenneth, almost ready to weep with disappointment.

  "Well, well, let's think it over, Ken, and see what can be done. Perhapsthat rascally Hopkins was right when he advised you to find some otherway to serve the community."

  "I can't do better than to make it clean--to do away with thesedisreputable signs," said the boy, stubbornly.

  "You made a fine speech," declared Mr. Watson, gravely puffing his pipe."I am very proud of you, my lad."

  Kenneth flushed red. He was by nature shy and retiring to a degree. Onlyhis pent-up enthusiasm had carried him through the ordeal, and now thatit was over he was chagrined to think that the speech had been soineffective. He was modest enough to believe that another speaker mighthave done better.